Oak Tree Bend this gut feeling I'm trying to get off me

@Kyna
April 3rd 1:45am, Patchy light snow, 35F/2C
Aponi has come to tell Kyna she is pregnant

There was no denying it now. While her stomach still did not feel sick like it had with her first pregnancy the change in scent was undeniable. Aponi had tried avoiding her daughter and the others for as long as possible, coming out only at night as a way to miss the pack. It led to near misses most the time, or a few words here and there between other members and even her child but the woman knew she could not keep up this hide and seek game forever.  The moon was past its highest point in the sky as the mother made her way back into the territory from where she had been skulking near the borders.

With purpose she made her way through the boughs until she stood in front of the small den that her daughter and her shared. The night was cool but not unpleasant,  the ground dusted with enough snow that it could be confused with the stone of the mountain if one squinted their eyes.  Staring down upon the sleeping form of the blonde child who was taller than her by now Aponi could not explain how she felt. Strangely guilty but also apprehensive, when she had been Kyna's age she had already left her birth pack and joined another pack without her parents. Her daughter seemed to lack this independence and was often seen trailing behind the darker Tainn pup, how would she take this news now? Would this be enough to snap the strained relationship between them or bring them closer?

Blinking away whatever emotions were swirling within her Aponi ducked inside and nudged her snout against her daughter's forehead. Murmuring quietly but with authority she pulled away, "Wake up Kyna, we need to talk."

   

Things had gotten…very odd around the pack come springtime.  All the older females were acting very strangle – either much more cross than usual, or much more friendly with some of the boys.  And the boys certainly didn’t seem to mind this, even if some of them had gotten a bit grouchy with each other.  She had realized, with some relief, that @Sahalie seemed to be herself more or less – no undue anger or weird leaning on Alastor.  The girl had half a mind to go seek out her playmate and invite her to go investigate the melting snow for something to eat in the morning, and fell asleep with this thought in mind.

Unfortunately, her rest did not last as long as the dreamer would have hoped.

With the moon high, something squished against her face, and the golden youth groaned softly.  Orange eyes fluttered open and she blinked at her mother, taking a moment to process the tone.  Brows knitted together, and the girl gathered her feet beneath her.  A sudden panic raced into her chest and she found herself wide awake, eyeing Aponi uneasily.

We need to have a talk.

That sounded so serious.

“…are you leaving again?”

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(This post was last modified: May 06, 2016, 09:06 PM by Kyna.)

A wild dissertation appears!

Sorry for how mean she is, pregnancy makes Aponi grouchy

Her slight nudging was met with a groan and Aponi held back the impatient sigh that threatened to escape her in response. Was it too hard to wake up when needed? She prodded Kyna again a little more roughly to fully awake her. This time the blonde girl blinked awake and the fiery eyes stared up at her like a perturbed owl, the mother took a couple of steps back to allow her to exit the den. The pup was on her feet swiftly and the half awake stare had been replaced with an uneasy gaze with words that Aponi had not been expecting.

The hesitance in her daughter's face should have struck a chord of guilt within the mother, but it didn't. Instead it only caused her frustration to grow, she had been back all this time hadn't she? What more would she have to do to prove to the child that she wasn't going to leave her behind again? With a huff she began to snap, "Of c-" before hesitating. Truly that was not her own decision to make, it would be Spieden. This time she did not have an alpha's brood growing within her, this time she had only a mistake.

When she began speaking this time the tone was just as serious but the anger had faded, "I hope not." That was all she said for now, blue eyes eyeing the Argyris girl waiting for some kind of reaction.

   

Far more awake than she was moments ago, fire-bright eyes narrowed as her mother made to snap at her.  Of course?  Of course not?  Perhaps she’d never know, but Kyna’s chest constricted around her heart.  Some small corner in her mind hissed to her, that her mother really wasn’t meant to be trusted, and she said nothing, waiting for the silver woman to find the words and put whatever she’d come to tell the fallen princess alfresco.

Panic had been numbed by mistrust, a silent I knew it!, and a slender tail curled around the girl’s thick paws.  “Hope not?” she enquired, nose wrinkling as she lifted her chin.  Kyna was the picture of regal grace in that one moment, learned not from Phineas or Aponi – perhaps she was simply born into it as she gazed down her nose at her mother.  But this was not enough of an answer.  She was no longer a silly child, who did not understand tracking or leaving or vengeance or hurt.  Or abandonment.

But then, the break had never quite stitched together correctly, even after Aponi returned.

“So are you leaving and hope to find your way back?”Kyna pressed, “Or have you made the pack angry again and hope they do not run you out this time?” Phineas was no longer here to protect her mother – Phineas was no longer here to protect her, and oh, she did miss her father in this moment.

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(This post was last modified: May 06, 2016, 09:07 PM by Kyna.)

A wild dissertation appears!

Kyna's look of disdain set the hormonal woman on edge and the silver hackle's raised along her spine, lip curling in warning. Aponi's own chin raised in return to the challenge and the blue eyes only narrowed further at the girl's continued pressing. Suddenly she could not hold back the gates on her fury anymore and her veins swam with fire. A snarl ripped through her throat at the end of her question and she gnashed her teeth. Taking  a step forward she spoke, words cool despite the anger she felt, "Oh Kyna dear, don't forget that if I had never made any mistakes you wouldn't even be alive." They were followed by a chuckle, devoid of humour but enough to rub salt in the wound.

Flicking her silver tail behind her Aponi couldn't contain herself any longer. She had treated this girl with nothing but the most affection she could manage and this was how she was repaid? So spineless and helpless she had always been and now that she could stand up for herself this was how the girl acted towards her own mother? The muzzle smoothed from its snarl into a twisted smile as she looked over her. So she was Phineas' child after all. Couldn't stand up for herself when it mattered but vicious about her feelings. The silver tail twitched once more as she practically purred, "Hopefully the child I carry now will not be as ungrateful as you, of course it will grow without a father who regretted conceiving her like you had. Perhaps that will be the difference." The message she had come here to speak was out in the open now, not in the words she had originally intended but they hung heavily anyways.

   

“If you never made mistakes,” Kyna sighed, unmoving like the stone that settled in the pit of her stomach, “than my father would not be dead either.  You make life – you take it.”

Eyes narrowed, tail curling further around her feet as if it might protect her from the sharp words.  Others had spoken curtly – she was never a favorite amongst Silent Moon Plateau – but pups had not the knowledge to cut down with words and tongue like a woman grown.  Kyna was careful to inhale slowly, not wishing the other to see exactly where those lashes had landed.  Even she was not foolish enough to think Aponi would spare her as her mother – why would she now, when she’d started the spar of sharp comments?

“Perhaps if you do not abandon this child, it will think more highly of you,” she replied in turn, inhaling sharply as the words ‘this child’ crossed her tongue.  Another?  Or more?  Unknown father?  Ears twitched, and she had to fight the urge to lay her ears flat against her delicate head.  “I suppose you have answered my query, though – you’ve done something.  The alphas—“  A frown.  She did not know them well.  Hard to read.  “This is why you’ve come.”

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A wild dissertation appears!

With Kyna's words the mother seemed to deflate with a sigh and like that her anger was gone. Phineas. Replacing the fury was an exhausted exasperation and Aponi laid her rump upon the ground with a quiet thud. Shaking her head softly she looked the child in the eye, "Your father died because he was old. I never laid a paw on him and neither did anyone else there that day." The Argyris man's exact age was not known by the woman but she had always known that he had not exactly been in his prime. It was why she had been attracted to him, he was much older than her and had the power she craved. It was the same reason she had been originally attracted to Drestig.

The thought of the darker man still rubbed against her bruised ego and she wanted to snort at the thought. She had thought he was powerful, instead he was a coward afraid to take what he wanted, a pathetic fuel with a miserable bitch as his booby prize. Kyna's words may have been meant to sting her but they were instead met with a roll of the blue eyes and another sigh. Aponi was done fighting with her and apparently had to lay everything out black and white like for an infant. Tutting her tongue she explained, "I never abandoned you. The trip I took was planned and I returned as soon as possible, I never forgot you, I never left you behind forever. If I had simply vanished into the night and never come back for you that would have been an abandonment." Aponi shook her head once more. After all this time her daughter blamed her for a two month absence.

Blue eyes lifted once more and this time a flicker of a smile played on her maw, one free of malice. Nodding gently she spoke, "Yes Kyna, you will be a sister," similar to her last pregnancy Aponi felt a deep protective bond with her unborn children. Somewhere along the line this had been broken with Kyna, but this time it would not be. This one she would raise right.

   

“I know.”

Kyna exhaled slowly, mentally pushing the last memory of her father from her mind.  How wretched, she thought, that she fled, that she hadn’t tended to his fallen form.  Not far from that memory was that of her mother – and her uncle.

“He was old.  Maybe not your fault – not all your fault.  Erebos would not stop yelling.”  The youth trailed off, ears tipping out to the side as she shook her head.  Whatever it was that finally put Phineas’ in the grave, the golden girl was certain the argument they’d all been involved in had been the straw that broke the buffalo’s back.

Accepting the temporary cease fire, she allowed Aponi to speak.  A brow raised as she tried to justify leaving Silent Moon Plateau, and the golden girl did not buy any of the shit her mother was trying to pedal.  She was too young to be left so – and Aponi had been an alpha at that time.  But she said nothing, aware it would be like trying to argue with a tree.  No matter how valid her points, a stone would not move aside for her.

So the fallen princess inclined her head, something dark in her orange eyes.  “I see,” she replied, uncertain what else there was to say.  What was one supposed to do, as a sister?  The only ‘siblings’ she had known were by half, and the majority of them had little to no interest in her at all.  Suddenly, their disinterest made so much more sense. “And the alphas are letting you stay.  What – happens now?”

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A wild dissertation appears!

Kyna's acceptance of reason and her slow sigh was enough to appease the pregnant woman who had still been held tensely. Nodding her head once at her daughter's words Aponi said nothing. Erebos' temper had been uncalled for and frankly absurd as the silver woman had never spoken to him let alone done anything to call for such rage. If anyone should have been angry it should have been Phineas himself but the ghostly man had welcome her back without question. Mentally shoving away the memory of the man falling to the stone, dead before he hit the ground the mother did not miss the darkness in the Argyris girl's eyes.

It was curious indeed but the mother said nothing of it, blue eyes merely surveying her silently until she spoke once more. This was something she had not been expecting the almost yearling to think of and it was enough to make Aponi hesitate for the first time in the conversation. Furrowing her brow she said, "I will be speaking with Aesire as soon as she returns from the mountain, though given her own condition I am not sure how she will react." This however didn't answer Kyna's question and the woman knew it.

The silver maw softened for perhaps the first time in some months. Looking over her blonde daughter she suddenly longed to move forward and embrace her as she had done when she was little. But Kyna was little no more. The girl was already taller than Aponi and if she didn't already she would soon outweigh her as well. So instead she stayed rooted to the spot, an expression of longing clear in her eyes as she murmured, "I know your life hasn't been easy but we can be a family. You and me and these pups and together we can make something better."  The Aquila had not had thoughts like these since Mercy had left and it was hard to voice them now. Any family she had ever had was riddled with turmoil and politics, did something else even exist?

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