Secret Falls Forward And Back

Sceral is dead. Sceral is dead. Sceral is dead. The Old Man up north hadn't lied -- the wolves of the Bend truly believed that Lena's father had perished. They had mourned his passing, grieved for the loss of their brother, their pack mate, their friend, and now her daughter just appeared, spouting off all sorts without knowing about the pain they had faced.

Her stomach heaved, and threatened to escape her throat. She trembled on the spot for a moment, her jaw opening and closing like a fish on land. "I," was the only thing she could respond with for a moment as she stood, mind reeling with emotions she couldn't process all at once. She swallowed the bile in her throat, blinked hard as she stared at Serach. "He's not dead." It was all she could say at the time, until suddenly questions were asked. His tone demanded the answers he wanted. Lena wanted to apologise profusely, to skulk away for daring to upset the balance -- to throw off the personal calm he must have finally reached.

"North. Dad's -- he's north. It took me a long time to make this journey. I ... I don't know what happened. He, he has a family now. Me and Amelié, and mum. I don't know why he didn't come back! I mean, I do! But, I -- I don't want to ..." she hung her head. "He was too ashamed. I don't think he ever thought you'd think he was dead. He thinks you hate him. That the whole pack hates him. I wanted to ... to find proof that he isn't hated. I'm sorry, I didn't know -- I didn't think. I'm sorry if I upset you."

She fell silent, waiting for some form of backlash. Perhaps it was fear that had her rooted to the spot, but her heart was racing as if it wanted to sprout legs and gallop off on its own. "And the woman. She said she was the leader of Oak Tree Bend. Dark fur, scars. Looked, uhm, pretty beat up. Met her by that creek, further south. It's why I'm going back north. I -- Serach, I'm sorry. Should I leave? Should I go away?"

(This post was last modified: Nov 12, 2016, 04:46 AM by Lena.)

His ears were ready and waiting for her to tell him the story of his brother. Strange, to think that somebody else, a stranger in all honesty, would know that story better than himself. It was a natural part of life, of course - he and Kisla and Fenru had drifted apart in much of the same way as his older siblings had left the Bend to start their own lives and create their own families. But there was a stark difference, one that became more and more clear as Lena told her story. He remained rooted to the ground as she spoke, his eyes widening and narrowing as she told him how her father had traveled north and found a mate. There's another one, he registered as she mentioned a sibling. Yet another leaf on the Donata family tree that Serach never would have known about if he had decided to stay in the Bend that day.

"Of course he knew," Serach told her flatly when she had finished her tale. "When our father left us as pups and didn't come back, we assumed he was dead. When Kisla and Fenru left and didn't come back, we assumed they were dead." It made him angry to think that Sceral believed his family had assumed he was alive when he left without a word. That had never been the case and based on his experience, Serach was not willing to upset that assumption. After all, when someone you loved disappeared without saying goodbye, they might as well be dead for all the pain their absence caused. "Sceral never came back. He never said goodbye. We had no reason to assume he was alive."

Don't be cruel, his thoughts chided him. It's not her fault that her father didn't come home. Turning his gaze downwards, he looked at his paws in quiet contemplation, unsure what to say next. Was he mad at Sceral for leaving? He had been furious, but it had never crossed into hate he didn't think. "He isn't hated," he finally said, his voice losing its undertones of anger and replacing them with sadness. "There are few left in the Bend who would remember who Sceral was. It is not the same pack as it was when he left." The girl before him was on the cusp of adulthood; Sceral had been gone a long time.

"You talked to Spieden?" His brain had been so focused on her story about Sceral that he had barely registered the second part - perhaps the most important part. Why the fuck would she lie? It was out of character for her, and for a moment, Serach regarded Lena with suspicion. But she had described the other Bend leader accurately, and there was no point in lying about their interaction that Serach could see.

Hoisting himself off the ground, he shook himself as though he had just emerged from the water in a useless attempt to shake off the pain, agony, and tension that filled him now as he struggle to confront the burst of emotions he was feeling. "No, I don't want you to go. Would you like to come back with me to the Bend?" She was not his brother, but Serach could not turn her away without knowing more. He might not know who his brother was anymore, but his niece could certainly tell him.

Lena had opened a can of worms; the disappearance of Sceral had clearly had an impact on Serach. Rightly so, too -- what kind of sibling would run off without a word about where they were going? Thankfully, Lena had told Amelié of her departure from their birthplace, so that guilt couldn't plague the Donata. What would nag at her, though, would be the worry her parents could be experiencing. Surely her sister would tell if it got too bad? Lena's twin may have been cold at times, but she loved her family. She wouldn't thrive from their parental frets.

It was as Serach divulged on his past -- and, in turn, Lena's father's past -- that the young woman felt her heart almost seized up in her chest. Their father had left them, their siblings had left them. What a horrible way to live, she thought. To live without knowin' if someone is dead or not, assumin' the worst. Had she not already tucked them back in submission, Lena's ears would have pressed to her skull at the fact her father had not even said 'goodbye'. And yet ... goodness, what a sad state of affairs; becoming lost, and blamed. She couldn't fault either her uncle or her father.

But her father wasn't hated. What a relief to learn that! To know that the pain she felt in her heart -- at the prospect of the pack hating Sceral -- had been quelled lifted a huge burden from her shoulders! She cracked a slither of a smile, her tail wagging behind her slightly. "I'm glad," was all she could say. "I'm really glad. I can't speak for my dad, but I think he would be, too. I think ... I know he's sorry. And I know he knows that sorry won't ever be enough but ... yeah."

Spieden? "I guess that was her name." There was a little part of Lena that took twisted delight at the idea that the woman would get a proper confrontation for lying. The woman hadn't seemed malicious to start with, perhaps there was a logical explanation. Perhaps she held a grudge against Sceral, and wanted nothing to do with him or his offspring? But what right did she have to deny Serach a meeting with his niece? It was perplexing. It was odd. It was suspicious.

Her eyes lit up at his offer to visit the Bend. Maybe she'd get to be there for the bollocking miss Spieden would receive! "I'd love to. Gettin' to see where my dad grew up ... yeah. Yeah, I'd like that." Another smile, braver this time. Happier. "Thank you."

Her ears were flat against her head, and not for the first time Serach felt guilty for snapping at her. It was not her fault, not even remotely. If anything, Serach should have been thanking her for finally giving him some semblance of closure. It seemed unlikely that he would ever actually see his brother again, but he was grateful in knowing that while Sceral might not have had it in him to return and say goodbye, he was at least happy - wherever he was. There was comfort in that for the older of the Donata brothers, although he did wish it was Sceral himself instead of his progeny.

As he waited for her to decide if she wanted to come back to the Bend with him, Serach could not help but feel his gut twisting in anxiety about how he would confront Spieden. Once he brought Lena back with him, there was no going back. He had always respected his fellow leader, but this cast a shadow over their relationship that made him uncomfortable. Worth it though, he could not help but reassure himself as Lena responded affirmatively that she wanted to go back to the Bend with him. No matter what comes, it will be worth it, he smiled, tilting his head to indicate she should follow. "Let's go then. We've got a lot to talk about on the way back," he told her, all thoughts of the elk herd well and truly forgotten.

Serach out!

All done! @Serach, thank you so much for the (first of I hope many!) threads! <3

Lena truly smiled. She felt it, that little spark of things will be okay lighting up inside her. Extended family was now incipient -- she was on the cusp of knowing the history of Donata wolves! Wolves just like her.

Serach's invitation was one that would no doubt shape how the tawny adolescent lived her life. There will be changes -- exciting ones, happy ones, ones she could not expect, and even ones that will frighten and upset her ... but all are certainly going to be worth it. There will be no doubting that. Everything will be an experience, a learning curve. And boy, Lena had a lot to learn.

"Okay," she chirped, sniffing once as she finally uncurled from herself, ears perked in interest, tail wagging in tiny swishes that disturbed the fog at their ankles. Lena stepped forward once, twice, three times before stopped at Serach's side. Together, they began the long walk home -- home, she thought, I'm goin' to a home again! -- with a smile from the young girl. "So ... uncle Serach ..."

A cheeky grin; there was certainly going to be a lot to talk about. She wanted to learn about her father and her uncle's childhoods, their parents, what it was like growing up in the Bend! There would be things from Lena, too -- Sceral's pack, his family, his life after leaving his birthplace behind. So much, it was all a little overwhelming to think about. She would have to break it down, no doubt, into bite-sized pieces that Serach could begin to know the life his brother now lived.

"Where should I start?"

Lena exits with Serach.