Oak Tree Bend My Passion Dictates My Actions

we yell to the windshield
“i'm finally home, i'm finally home”

“Great job, Lena. You did it. You mucked up everything!”

Lena paced back and forth, ears pressed against her skull with her teeth shown in a nervous grimace. Her hackles had bristled with the agitation she felt, but she was far too jittery and squirrely to look intimidating.

How many wolves had left Oak Tree Bend? She wasn't sure, but it had be a lot. Most of them, she reckoned, judging by the scents at the border. Something had happened to disrupt the leadership, something had shifted the relative peace of the pack and it had just burst, dispersing wolves in every direction like shrapnel. Lena could only blame herself. After all, was it not her fault that the seed of doubt had been planted?

“You had to go and shove your nose into it, had to say it didn't you? Oh, yeah, your leader lady lied to me and almost had me go all the way back home! Why'd you say it, you bloody idiot?! Why!”

With a frustrated “UGH”, Lena flopped to the ground and covered her face with her paws as she groaned into the dirt she had uncovered thanks to her continuous walking back and forth.

Unable to see the big picture, she internalised all the blame on herself. She had been the one who set @Serach on the path of distrust, and she was certain that it had been that little grain of information that had caused everything to become some skewered and messed up. So many wolves, gone. Because of her! She would have given anything to be able to stop it all, even if it meant she had to leave herself. What was one wolf compared to five, six, seven?

But it was all too late for that, now. All she could do would be suck it up and apologise and ask if there was anything she could do because there was no way in hell she was leaving Oak Tree Bend. Not now, and … maybe not ever?

She thought of her dad briefly, his sadness and worry, but … no. No, he'd understand. Hadn't he done the same thing? Disappeared, started his own family? Sure, Lena's family wasn't built from scratch, she wasn't in love with kids, but she had an uncle now, a grandfather—she had never had such luxuries before. They were hers now, and she wasn't about to leg it back to daddy now that things had gotten a little tougher.

She wasn't going to leave Serach when he had just lost so much.

art by kydnt, code by mimi

There were so few of them left that it hurt. The irony that he had just been remarking to Ice how proud he was to be at the helm of such a strong and stable pack was not lost on him. Perhaps it was realizing just how out of touch he had been that hurt the pale man the most. But in the flurry of emotions that had plagued him, one was beginning to dominate his frame of mind more than any other - revenge. With no desire to leave the Bend to physically track any of them down and beat sense into their thick skulls, Serach was left with only one viable option. To get his revenge on those he had lost, he would simply move on without them. His attention was needed by those who had maintained their faith in him, and so that's what he was going to do...or at least attempt.

Shaking his head, he forced himself into motion and even attempted the faintest hint of a smile. It felt fake because it was, but maybe eventually it wouldn't be. Looking around him, he tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness that plagued the forest and instead set off with the intention of finding somebody, or anybody. The smile grew more genuine when the first fresh scent he came across was Lena's and with much more gusto than he had imagined was possible, he set off to follow the trail she had left behind.

"Lena?" he called, grateful to see the tawny brown form amongst the dark trees. She was pacing though, and her guard hairs were up, and it made his smile lessen. "Hey..." he approached, offering her a sad smile. "Are you okay?"

we yell to the windshield
“i'm finally home, i'm finally home”

Back up and pacing again, Lena just couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault, that she'd been wrong to intrude on the lives of the Oak wolves. Maybe Spieden had lied to prevent this from happening—maybe it had been said and done with good intentions? She'd lied because she wanted to keep her family safe, protect them from … from what? A girl who wanted to meet her bloody uncle?

That would be daft, honestly. That was no excuse, no reason. What threat could Lena possibly be? Spieden had simply lied because she wanted to. Right? No. No, that would have been thinking pessimistically. Lena never was one to pass judgement without reason, and that remained fact; she refused to believe that the scarred wolf had simply done it because it was in her nature to be a liar. Lena wanted to give the benefit of the doubt.

But what if? What if?

So caught up in her internal struggles (coming to terms with all of this was really taking a lot of focus), she visibly flinched at Serach's voice. Her heart broke in two when her gaze settled on his face. He looked so sad, but trying to be so brave despite it all. “Me? I—I'm fine. Really! I mean, it's you we should be worryin' 'bout. You're the one who … who …”

Her head hung and she sighed, shaking her head.

“Is this all my fault?”

She lowered to a sit, frowning. Glancing up to her uncle, Lena hunched up and whispered. “Should I have never come here? Did I do somethin' wrong?”

art by kydnt, code by mimi

Lena flinched at his approach and Serach's heart shattered. I'm sorry brother, he thought as he tentatively approached his niece. He had been so excited when he had discovered her by chance in the woods, but that was the cause of the underlying tension that had crept up. Serach had offered his support to Aponi long before he knew of Sceral's family, but knowing that Spieden had denied their very existence had only cemented for him that things could not continue on as they had. He had been too much of a coward to force the issue when he should have, and now it had spiraled beyond his control.

All he could do was reassure her that it was not her fault. Reaching out, Serach touched his nose to her forehead. Quiet, he wished to will to her comfort and peace of mind, but that would take time. "Absolutely not, Lena," he said softly, pulling back so he could look her in the eyes. "Aponi has been wanting to challenge for a while, and I offered her my support months ago. After you told me what happened with Spieden, well...let's just say I'm more comfortable with Aponi leading with me. Family is everything to me, and she knows that." That's why it had pained him so much when it had become clear to him that his picture of what his family looked like was nothing but a facade. "We didn't want Spieden to leave, and we certainly didn't expect Triell to take his family and go. I'm sure he has his reasons, but I don't know them and I certainly don't understand them." He stepped back and shook his head, his lips curling into the ghost of a snarl. He was still too far angry at the Tainn man to have any kind of rational conversation about it.

"I'm just sorry that you didn't get a lot of time to enjoy the Bend."

we yell to the windshield
“i'm finally home, i'm finally home”

Lena's eyes closed at Serach's touch, a low whine escaping her throat as her tail thumped the ground—she was truly glad for his company and reassurances. That being said, she still wanted to push her face into the snow and disappear until this all went away, and everything went back to how it was.

She looked up at him, only to catch the silent hint of a scowl, teeth disappearing behind black lips. Her eyes widened and she swallowed thickly; was Serach angry at her for being such a wet blanket? No, no he couldn't be. He must still be hurting, and hurting bad. Lena couldn't imagine how it felt to have so many wolves walk away from you, leave you behind. The fact it was her uncle made it infinitely worse. She suddenly felt a burning loathing for the wolves who had walked away. Serach had done nothing wrong, he didn't deserve this. He wasn't the one who hit the final blow that caused the ranks to switch. He deserved only good things, as far as Lena was concerned.

She knew she was being selfish, knew she needed to focus more on the feelings of those who were actively living through a real betrayal of friendship and trust—Serach, probably Aponi, everyone else—instead of wallowing in her it's my fault, all mine, I feel bad for me and also you too. It was her turn to reach out this time, and she planted a gentle lick to Serach's chin, an attempt at her own apology. “No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be makin' this all about me. Besides, I have plenty of time to enjoy the Bend. It's not the end of the line, right?”

I have to help fix this, too.

art by kydnt, code by mimi

There is a moose carcass that has been scavenged by coyotes nearby. +15 Health

Serach had always been selfish, but he did not also suffer from a lack of empathy. Despite all of the pain he was feeling for himself, he knew that Lena was hurting too and him being angry wasn't going to help anything. Rolling his shoulders, he took several deep breaths, forcing the snarl back down into his throat. He was not angry at her, and it hurt knowing that she thought he might be. But the coarse feeling of her tongue on his chin and the apologetic words that followed reassured him that she too was empathetic to his feelings. Tilting his head, he gently butted her forehead with his own as he pulled his lips into a half-smile.

"The end of the line? Absolutely not. So long as I'm alive, there will be an Oak Tree Bend - even if it means I have to live by myself and become an old hermit in the woods," even under the circumstances, it was an amusing picture and his smile broadened a bit. "Think about it, if we had given up every time things got hard, we wouldn't be here now. There wouldn't have been a leadership position to challenge for, I wouldn't have met you by chance in Red Fern Forest, and Ice wouldn't have been able to meet us both when he came back to Relic Lore. I'm not sure who decided that the pack's motto was "We thrive regardless", but it's certainly an apt description of what we do here." It had probably been Triell, and there was a sad irony knowing that had had turned tail and fled in their darkest hour despite the supposed prescription to the motto. "I can't say it's going to be easy...but Aponi and I are going to do our best. One day, when you go back to your parents, I want you to be able to tell your dad his older brother didn't crack under the pressure." He wasn't sure if he could live with the disappointment, even if he would never see evidence of that disappointment directly.

"In the meantime, we're going to need your help now more than ever. We still have Lila, Aponi's daughter, to take care of. She just lost all of her agemates; she's going to need a friend."