Hidden Tree pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feelin'

RE: The stars are unusually bright tonight. Maybe because it's also unusually cold.. brr. || For @Maera in the old den

He had come back to the den late that night. Kerberos was exhausted and hoped that Maera would already be in there. Maybe even she was waiting for him before falling asleep. It was an unusually cold night so he would not complain about trying to curl up next to her tonight. In fact, any warmth would be welcomed.

When he approached the mouth of the den he looked up towards the sky. The stars seemed so bright tonight. He wondered if that had anything to do with the cold. His pale eyes strained to look for her dark form curled up in the den somewhere. The tawny male's voice broke out softly. "Hey, Mae? You still up? Sorry that I'm so late.." He moved inside of the den in hopes he could find her and curl up as close as possible. But before he figured she might want to see what he had seen. "If you're not too tired the stars outside are really bright tonight. It's cold too, though." As if she didn't know the second one on her own. He would mentally judge himself for that one.

His tawny form took a seat right at the mouth of their little home. Kerberos's head tilted upwards to admire the stars for a little bit longer. He silently hoped that his traveling companion would come join him.

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It felt strange, the fact that Maera was so on edge by the fact that she had yet to see Kerberos, ensuring that he was safe and ready to settle down for the night. It had her up and fidgeting in the den, staring at her paws intently as they scraped across the dirt, her nose twitching at every scent she thought she smelled that might point to his return. Why was she so antsy? They both knew that this agreement, them travelling together, could end at any time. It’d been one of the conditions from the start. Perhaps he’d decided to move on or maybe he went to find a pack… loner life wasn’t for everyone. Even she had her doubts, some more recent than others.

She couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh of relief and a small grin capture her features when she heard his voice, calling for her. Apologizing for being late which caused her to visibly relax. Honestly, her father would have scolded her for looking like a puppy with the way she was reacting, but she didn’t care, at least… not right now. She was tired, and he was home, and they could talk a little before she crashed for the night.

“You’re fine, I was just settling in.” She offered with that smile holding on her features. Okay, it wasn’t entirely truthful, but better to downplay it than let it explode in some kind of temper, right? She liked to think, for the most part, she had a good temperament. He made a comment about the stars that had her pushing herself up, curious as to what he meant. Didn’t they always shine bright? They were the spirits of the past, or at least that was what her Mama had taught her.

She gave him a small bump, nudging her nose against his neck as she moved beside him, sitting down as she looked up and if her eyes could have, they would have widened at the sight. The shiver from the cold ran down her spine but she didn’t care. “My mom always told me the stars were our ancestors, looking at us and guiding us.” She whispered softly as she glanced over at him. Was this her father’s way of telling her that she should consider Treyah and her words?

Kerberos was truthfully relieved when she accepted his apology. A smile made way onto his face as she decided to join him outside. Perhaps gazing at the stars would let them both sleep better. His ears perked and he allowed himself to lean into her form. "What do you think they're trying to tell us?" He wondered if @Maera could read the stars. If they truly were ancestors in the skies he had to know what they were telling the wolves on earth. The tawny male had too many questions.

Another breeze blew through and he adjusted himself in an attempt to keep himself as warm as possible. "I was told, back in my birth pack, by the elders that you should always follow the way the wind goes when traveling. They said it leads to better lands." He paused to turn and look at her. "I don't know if I believe that, though. Just seems kinda strange." While Kerb usually tried to be accepting of everyone's beliefs that one had always seemed a bit off to him. To move whenever the breeze came through just seemed too hard of a life to live.

His head pointed back upwards. Pale golden eyes scanned the bright stars. It was a pretty night but the coldness was a friendly reminder of winter's grip.

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Honestly, Mae hadn’t really thought about her remark before it slipped out. She kept a lot of things close to her. She never kept the tragedy – there was no reason to keep it all in… it was always the things she held closest, her emotions, the pain that still ebbed away at her… it was her thoughts and beliefs that made her who she was. He seemed receptive to it, asking her what they were trying to tell them and she shrugged. “It might not even be meant for us… I don’t know.” She wasn’t being completely truthful… not yet at least.

There was time for that complicated explanation later, right? They had a view to enjoy before they settled down for the night. He went on to explain one of the beliefs he’d been taught, and how he wasn’t sure if he believed it. “Sometimes it’s hard to understand… especially when it seems out there, but the wind carries weight, and always has. It decides a lot for each of us, whether or not we catch prey, or whether or not a hostile wolf gets pushed in our direction.” It was always ‘us’ and ‘our’ now, she’d started to notice. She shrugged. “Perhaps they didn’t mean it as a literal follow the wind?” She was trying to provide some measure of an explanation.

She remembered a little over a month ago when she kept everybody wolf lengths away, and yet Kerb was right next to her, leaning against her… and yet she was smiling. She didn’t even know how to comprehend it so she pushed it inside until she could figure it out… maybe on a walk. She let the silence linger for a few moments before she started to speak up. “I ran into a pup a couple days ago… she talked about her family gathering, and it sounds like they’re going to start a pack… she was trying to get me to talk to her dad about staying with them.” She first proposed the idea to see his reaction.

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Us. A word he had grown used to hearing instead of me, you, etc. He felt maybe more whole when we, us and our was used. Usually, he didn't push back on her questions but there had been a certain weight on his shoulders lately. "But, I dun know, what if it was for us? What do you think they'd be trying to tell us?" His face partially scrunched up. They both could use any help. Even if it came from the stars.

The tawny male was content with letting his fur mingle with her. If she wasn't going to pull away then he wouldn't either. "You're probably right. Mom always told me not to take the elders too seriously." He sighed and a soft cloud trailed into the cold air. There were a billion different things he could say right now but he wanted to enjoy this gentle moment. Perhaps the coldness was actually helping him keep his cool.

He quickly turned his head to look at @Maera. Her words had shocked him but he was willing to listen. He left out that he might have ran into them too. "How did or, I guess, does that make you feel? I know you don't really like authority.." Kerberos's voice was soft and genuine. He had to bite his tongue before he would say anything else before she responded to his first question. But something tumbled from his lips before he could gain full control. "I just want you to have the best but be comfortable, Mae."

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There were so many questions that she could ask, and yet she wasn’t certain the stars would hold any answers for her. They hadn’t answered her calls in the past, and even now her faith wore thin in moments like these when she needed her father’s guidance the most. “I don’t know.” She admitted softly, not diverting her gaze from the bright stars despite the cold that stung at her from all sides. She wanted to think she had all of the answers, but she didn’t, and she knew she never would. Part of her wondered what he thought, seeing as it wasn’t just her ancestors up there… but the topic changed with his words and she offered him a gentle smile.

He never ceased to surprise her, and she didn’t think he knew that. Sometimes it was small, little things. She noted that he glanced over towards her when she provided information about her conversation with the child, glancing at her paws for a few seconds before focusing on the sky again. “I don’t know.” Twice in a row she’d said that as she omitted a soft sigh, hint soft frustration in it. She didn’t like the feeling that surrounded the uncertainty that she felt. She didn’t know what to do with her thoughts and opinions.

“I just… all I’ve ever known is this. I can’t take orders from others. I can’t lower my tail to someone just because they put a crown on their own head.” She held her breathe for a few seconds, her tail starting to wave back and forth in a faster manner, not lashing but definitely showing that she was frustrated, more with herself than anything. “I’ve never been in a pack; I’ve always just survived, and never worried about what I’d go home to because I never really had a home… but the girl made it sound so convincing, that it wasn’t like that… that I’d be free even with an alpha above me… and just… I don’t know.” She found herself looking towards him for advice now… he didn’t hold all the answers either, no wolf did, but she was hoping that he held this one.

(This post was last modified: Jan 06, 2017, 11:11 PM by Maera.)

He had to admit he felt almost worried that she didn't know. But in no way was he gonna push that subject. He had just grown so dependent on learning from her, being with her, having her know that when she didn't...Well, it obviously made him worry. But all he could do was offer a gentle nudged with his shoulder. A reassuring touch.

Those three little words. "I don't know." His ears pinned back against his head. He wanted to know everything that was wrong, wanted to comfort her and be there like she had been for him. If he was being honest, though, he didn't know either. He didn't know how to fix sadness or frustration. He never dealt with his. He always pushed it aside and kept so happy. Never once had he openly shown a negative emotion unless it was dire. But here he was feeling so helpless like there was nothing he could do or say that would fix the mess in front of him.

He took a deep breath. This was their mess. His mess. And he would help clean everything up if it meant them both feeling okay again.

The Rigel male soaked in all of her words. He hadn't noticed he was holding his breath until she finished. There was more of those three words he hated hearing her say. He didn't blame her, though, wasn't mad at her. This was possibly a huge turning point for her and he was here to witness it. "Maera." He placed his muzzle in the lush fur around her neck before he pulled back to look at her. "After spending most of my time with you I understand how crazy this all might be for you. I-I don't know either." He admitted softly. Before she could speak he jumped back into his train of thought. "But there's nothing wrong with at least giving it a shot. If it's everything that was promised and you love it we can stay. If it's nothing like you imagined and you just wanna go back to being rogue I'll be there with you." For once his face had grown sad and confused around her. He had to try his hardest to keep himself together. "I mean, you do want me to go with you, right?" His words were a whispered plead to her. She wasn't about to walk off without him, was she?

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When it came to packs, he was the expert. He’d been raised in one; his parents had sent him to start his own… he knew how they worked, how they all lived as one and she felt overwhelmed sometimes travelling with one wolf let alone living with multiple. She cloaked all of her emotions, because it was sort of her coping mechanism and not knowing things frustrated her, which might have been why she blew up when her brother and mother rejoined her aunt, uncle, and cousins in the first place… she didn’t know a thing about them, or about living in a pack, and it’d terrified her.

Or maybe she was just incredibly bull-headed.

She felt his maw against her neck and her eyes closed in a relaxed manner, taking a calming breathe before they opened again and she topped her maw towards him, nosing at the side of his neck near the start of his snout softly before her eyes fell back to her paws, once of which was scraping against the dirt, not breaking through because of the frigid temperature and the lack of pressure she was applying. He said he didn’t know… but there was logic to his words.

“It’s not just me involved in this decision, Kerb.” She reminded him softly as she moved her glance to look back over at him, her tail swaying softly from side to side now. “What do you want to do?”

In this moment everything felt so fragile. He felt like if he spoke or even tried to breathe at the wrong time something would break. His once strong traveling partner (could he still call her that after tonight?) seemed like a thin ice sculpture.

He found comfort in her returned touch, though. Her nose pressed against the in between part of his neck and snout. The tawny male would have been fine with no more words and just sitting like that the whole night. They didn't need words. He may have liked to chat up a storm with Maera but he had to believe their most progressive moments were when they were silent together.

Kerberos carefully reached his neck out to set his snout on top of her head. His pale eyes still looked out towards the stars. Maybe this is what the ancestors in the stars had been trying to tell them. It was time for a change "You're right." He hummed softly, the voice quite since he was so close to her ears already. "We don't have anything to lose really. We know if it doesn't work out we can survive out here together. If it works out then we're guaranteed safety as long as we last there." He pulled his head back to look at her face better. "Did they give you a deadline for the offer or do we meet them when we're ready?"

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