Hidden Tree every word i said is what i meant

For his @Maera <3 || Late Afternoon, Cloudy -9 ° F, -23 ° C

His brain had been such a flurry lately. Himself and Maera had come to a big decision not too long ago and his feelings were already all over before that. The light in his eyes hadn't faded but one might notice he was more tired lately. He didn't sleep well from a feeling of anxiousness. The tawny Rigel had always been so good at brushing away bad feelings but there was too much going on. He wasn't sure what to make of anything right now. There was one word that kept ringing in his head in that younger girl's voice.

Girlfriend.

The word seemed to haunt his brain like they haunted the old den. Which he conveniently found himself slouched in as his brain rattled with thoughts. He knew he should be out exploring, getting food, among other things but he couldn't bring himself to today. Daffodil eyes watched around the area. Part of him wished Mae would come home early and keep him company. The other part wanted to savor this alone time and see if it did anything to soothe his brain. He knew he likely wouldn't be able to catch a nap so just enjoying nature's sounds would have to be enough for him.

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The young Slayer’s tail waved softly from side to side, a grin hinting at her features as blood stained her maw, carrying a rabbit in her jaws that she intended to save for Kerb – she’d managed to catch two and eat one of them on the spot, devouring it down to bone, practically. A shiver ran down her spine from the cold wind biting at her fur from all sides as she pushed herself into the den, a soft smile on her face as she carefully set the rabbit down, licking the blood that had stained her maw off quickly. “I brought you something.” She murmured softly as she nudged it towards him.

It was too cold to go outside for any significantly long length of time, and his presence in the den made her relax a little bit.

Her soft smile turned curious, hints of concern in her eyes. He seemed… off? She couldn’t place it, it was just a feeling she had in her gut. “Everything alright?” She asked as she settled down next to him, mingled fur between them. It wasn’t a strange occurrence at this point – she liked to keep him close, even if she wasn’t entirely sure why yet. She didn’t like thinking about feelings – thoughts, sure, but emotions were a whole other level and not something she was prepared to handle.

The tawny male had only closed his eyes for a brief moment before he heard a voice call out to him. He knew it was for him and no one else because it was her. @Maera had come so quickly like she had heard his thoughts. He found himself only being able to offer a weak smile. A soft lick to her chin out of respect as he grabbed the rabbit by the foot. His teeth held onto it carefully as he dragged the limp body to his paws. In a sort of soothing way, he licked the fur of the dead prey. His tongue washed away any blood that was left from her stained teeth and muzzle.

He very softly growled in an affectionate manner when she took a spot next to him. Their fur mingled in a gentle way. His nose was slightly buried into the lush fur that covered her shoulders for a brief moment. He still hadn't said anything, partially pondering over her question. "Just a little tired is all. You alright?" He looked at Maera as the groomed rabbit laid trapped by his paws. "I know after our last talk we both surely have a lot on our mind." He gave the rabbit another lick. It was like he was unsure if he wanted to eat it or not. Perhaps he would save it for later. Or even bring it as a gift of sorts for the group they were going to join up with.

(This post was last modified: Jan 11, 2017, 02:33 AM by Kerberos.)

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She hadn’t felt this way in a long time and certainly not to the caliber that she did with Kerb. She felt defensive, protective of him, never at him. She supposed it was just her having him around as often as she did, and given the weight of the decision they’d just made… it was safe to say the two of them had each other’s backs. She trusted him with her life it was that reason why she was still around. He’d proven himself just like she hoped that she had in return. She was slowly trying to work things out. Feelings were complicated!

Slowly she let her head fall to rest on her forearms, keeping her eyes locked on his features when he asked if she was alright. “Yeah… it’s just really cold outside.” Of course, she was used to it, but that didn’t make it less cold outside. The effects were the same. “At least… I think I am?” She left herself open for questions but didn’t provide any clarification to where she was unsure. She didn’t know how to explain it or what to really say about it, especially since most of it involved him… but she’d deal with that later… maybe… she was pretty good at suppressing everything.

"Yeah...it's just really cold outside."

He couldn't argue with that one. It was indeed growing a bit chillier by the day. Something in her tone left him wondering if that was really what was wrong. She had proven his thoughts to be right too.

"At least...I think I am?"

There it was. That almost questioning tone. He didn't know and she didn't know. "Well I'm sure you are cold if that's what you mean." His face offered her a weak smile with a gentle genuine touch to it. "But if you're talking about being alright, well maybe you're not. My elders used to tell me if you're unsure about your feelings something might be wrong." His tone was soft and neutral. There wasn't an ounce of rudeness or accusation in his tone. He would offer a lick by her ear if she'd take it.

He stared at the rabbit that laid limp between his paws. The tawny male couldn't bring himself to eat and saw no point in continuing to lick and clean it. "Mae you know I'll always offer my ears to listen, right?" Pale golden eyes rested with a gentle gaze on her face. Kerb was almost sure she knew that but he really wanted to hear her say it. To tell him how she knew. He wasn't hungry for food, he was hungry for her attention and gratification. Somewhere's inside of him was a needful desire that he wanted her to fulfill. He surely had never been neglected as a child or unloved, but the need deep inside of him wasn't one that was soothed by the praise of parents or elders.

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He seemed to always have a way to cheer her up, and it was something that she appreciated.  She bumped his side with her snout lightly when he gave his retort, but his next piece of advice was more serious and something she found herself able to use. “I just… I’m trying to work out a couple things.” She explained carefully, toying back and forth with how to word things in her mind as she zoned out… at least not until he brought her back out with his next question, looking for clarification, or confirmation. She gave a soft nod with a soft smile.

“I know, Kerb… just I don’t really know how to word it.” He wasn’t eating either, and it made her wonder if something was going in on his head as well. She knew how things could be, how complicated things could get. “Are you sure there’s nothing on your mind?” She asked softly, already starting to warm up from the safety from the wind that the den provided and warmth of her companion next to her. She felt… content? She didn’t know what word to use apart from that… part of trying to work things out in her head, she supposed.

“Do you ever know you feel something for someone, but not know what it is, or how to say or describe it?” She asked, wondering if maybe had had some kind of insight without outright stating that she was talking about him.

"That's okay. Some things can't be worked out right away."

He appreciated her touch wholeheartedly. For being such a strong (and fairly independent wolf) she had her gentle moments. The young man wondered if she had ever been like this with anyone else. A strange feeling brewed in his stomach at the thought of it. The thought that maybe someone else out there having experienced this comfort, well, he couldn't bare it. And if someone else had was it more than just one someone? If Kerberos Rigel had an ego before it was now horrible crushed and destroyed by his self-created problems. Way to go, kiddo.

"Words aren't always easy. I know I chatter a lot but that doesn't mean I always say the right thing or know what to say." That was the first time he had admitted that. Words were both his forte and downfall. Didn't he have such a strange issue? Most wolves didn't talk enough or talked too much and said what they wanted. Maybe Kerb was showing that he wasn't the little dandy dandelion he always showed everyone he was. Mae's question caught him off guard. "There's always something in this head. Just as I'm sure there's always something in there." His nose lightly touched her crown.

She was full of surprises tonight. Her questions held more importance than the usual "are you hungry? where to today? how are you?". These questions were deep and made him feel like she was crawling around inside his brain. The idea of her in his head should have made him uncomfortable but he didn't mind it. Maybe because it was her. "I do, actually." He looked at her almost afraid of what might go wrong in this moment. That he'd slip on his words and sound like a jerk. Or that she might shatter whatever confidence he had left. "Right now to be exact." Kerb could only hope that the fact that his eyes were on her while he said that was enough of a signal.

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There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

It should be ridiculous, right? Sure, she’d known him a month, been travelling with him, resting in the same den as him, for a month now… but she still felt like she shouldn’t be able to trust a wolf like she trusted him and it intimidated her, made her want to shut him out. She couldn’t though. She had started to grow dependent on being able to find him in that den right next to her when she was trying to fall asleep at night and she didn’t really know how to confront those feelings. The logical part of her brain told her that if she was truly feeling these things, she should just tell him, and let things unfold in the process…

But there was a stubborn part of her brain that held her back, listening to his voice. It soothed her, allowed her to think clearly… most of the time, anyways. “You make it look easy.” She argued softly when he admitted he didn’t always know what to say. He was the talkative one, while she was the silent one, the one who would talk when she found it necessary, but preferred actions over words. Perhaps that was why they worked so well together?

An appreciative glance caught her eyes as she looked at him, his nose touching her crown. How they’d changed, right? She felt like she could see his confidence growing, compared to when they first met and he’d been so unsure about everything there was to have. She wasn’t sure the two of them were going to travel together for very long because of it… and now? Now they were going to be staying with even more wolves.

It felt daunting to her, but she kept that thought to herself.

Her curiosity was truly piqued when he admitted that he had. She couldn’t help but feel a hint of jealousy, wondering who this wolf was that made him feel that way… of course, she didn’t have context. It could be an intense anger that he just didn’t express… she preferred to think… her thought was cut off in that, looking at her as he said those words. Right now to be exact. She met his eyes, a softness to them. “I… I think…” She took a deep breathe, a hint of confidence in her eyes as she said those words. She didn’t really think about them, they just slipped out and under the radar. “I think I love you.”

His heart skipped a beat. Or maybe more than just one. The Rigel couldn't believe his ears when the words dripped like honey from her lips. The words started out slow with the stuttering. Not yet a full sentence but it was getting there. He held his breath the whole time. All he could do was wait for her to finish.

"I think I love you."

There is was. His lungs finally screamed for air and his heart kickstarted again. Without a beat to miss he replied. "I think I love you too, Mae." It was out there now. The two of them made themselves vulnerable to each other. She had always been strong but now she seemed just as soft as himself. It was strange but he didn't mind it. Ever so gently his nose reached out, seeking to brush near her ear and to bury into her scruff. Kerberos wanted nothing more than to be close to her. Savor this moment because he had no idea how long this would last. She was a wildfire and he was a small pond. While the two would normally never work they did now. Somewhere within the past month, they had found each other's rhythms. Worked with each other. He had grown dependent on her presence.

"It's not good to bottle feelings up and...and I think that's why I've been so tired. I didn't wanna mess anything up. Thinking about it at night had me losing sleep." His voice was smooth, partially muffled by her fur. Kerberos couldn't define what he was feeling right now. But it was a feeling that mixed both anxiety and relief.

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