Lost Lake Don't Want To Lose You Twice

@Moonshadow   Takes place directly after this thread

His talk with Tagg had been unexpected though perhaps needed but Kajika didn't know yet if it had helped. The man had tried to be as helpful as he could, he had meant well and his heart was in the right place.  The beta had managed to keep from him the real reason for his behavior the previous day, the truth about his feelings for Moonshadow.  Once their talk was done Kajika had watched the man disappear off to do whatever it was he was going to do after leaving the lake.  The dark man knew that he should be heading out to hunt or patrol, something to help the pack but he just couldn't.

Looking out across the lake once more the fog didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon which was fine by him.  It was not any warmer than it had been the night before but that mattered little to him then.  Turning from the lake Kajika went back to the place on the shore where he had spent the night.  Lowering himself to the ground he curled his tail around himself covering his face and closed his eyes.  He hoped for a little more sleep if it would be kind enough to come without nightmares to keep him awake.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 04:12 AM by Kajika.)

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A cold draft had woken the dark woman from the spot where her love had been sleeping. Blinking grogily she pulled herself up from her nook and walked out into the frigid air. A shiver ran down her spine as she wished that she could be curled back up and warm. She stretched and took a good inhale to find where her russet hero had gone. Catching his scent she followed it almost half asleep down towards the lake. She perked from her sleep when she heard the voice of Tagg and Kajika. It was then she realized that the dark man hadn't come back to the den the previous night. Now it was her turn to worry about him. She stayed in the shadows of the trees and watched the pair. She listened in on their conversation and knowing from their previous talk the student knew her teacher wasn't telling Tagg everything. So she waited until her love had departed before she made her way down the well worn path to the lake.

Silver eyes watched the dark form of her mentor curl back up into a ball and attempt to sleep on the rocky shore. She walked slowly towards him careful to not startle him. "You know the den is warmer..." She said quietly as she walked around him so that she faced him. She sat quietly waiting for him to answer. Concern was written clearly across her features. She knew he hasn't told Tagg the whole truth and she intended to get the truth from him one way or another.

His emotions about everything were so mixed up and though he liked Tagg and felt he was a good friend. He had tried to see what he could do to help but the beta was glad to see him go off to take care of his duties. Kajika didn't want to feel that way about Tagg but the tawny male might be right that he just need time. Not to sort through what he was feeling but to himself so that he could rest and maybe accept there was nothing that could be done about Moonshadow. If he was going to have any peace within the pack he didn't have a choice. At that moment all he wanted to do was sleep and forget what he had seen and the conversation about Des.

Having curled himself up to keep the chill out Kajika prepared himself for a few more hours sleep, he knew he needed it. He couldn't help the pack if he was too tired and he thought Namid and Vespertio wouldn't be too angry with him for taking a little time. If he was feeling better a little later he thought he would do some hunting so that the day wouldn't be totally wasted. That however didn't seem to be in the plans for him because the sound of footfalls reached his ears for the second time that morning. He didn't even open his eyes hoping they were, whoever it was only came for a drink from the lake. No such luck though as Moonshadow’s voice was the next thing he heard. With a sigh he lifted his head, not ready for this conversation. “I think this is the best place for me,” he told her before moving into a sitting position. Kajika let a yawn escape him before speaking once more, “What can I do for you Moonshadow?”

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 05:50 AM by Kajika.)

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"I think its the best place for me" her concern grew more. Her reason for not returning to the den had been she couldn't face anyone - not that she believed she belonged out in the cold. At first he remained curled up and then he sat up. She could clearly tell that he did not want to see or speak to her for that matter. What kind of friend would she be if she left him alone and not pressed? Let him fester within and tear himself up? Oh no she knew all too well what that could do to someone and she wasn't about to sit back and let it happen.

Normally his second comment would have been met with a light answer. This time however there was something about his tone that off put the woman. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied his features. Looking for any clues as to what was wrong. Her tail flicked behind her as she thought of a way to answer him. "Tell me why you didnt tell Tagg the whole truth" She finally answered her tone matching his. She knew he didnt tell the veteran everything. Which she could have put off as too it being because they didnt know one another we'll or something of that sort. But Kajika would have no excuse for hiding something from her.

It was too early in the morning for this, now he had to face her as if Tagg hadn't been enough that morning. Moonshadow, the one he had to keep his feelings from, the one he needed to protect and make sure she was happy. Now she was commenting on the fact he had spent the night on the lake shore. What could he tell her, that he didn't want to stay in the den and see her and Tagg cuddled together. No, she didn't need to know that, it was best he kept that to himself. The last thing he wanted was for her or Tagg to feel guilty for showing their feelings toward each other. It wasn't their fault he couldn't open his mouth when it really mattered, that was his fault and he had to live with it.

It was rather curious that she should show up almost immediately after Tagg had left which told Kajika she hadn't been far from the lake. It seemed his question hadn't set well with her either, he came to this conclusion when he saw the narrowing of her eyes. Then it came, she wanted to know why he hadn't told Tagg the whole truth. Then he knew she had been eavesdropping on his previous conversation, he didn't know if he should be angry with her or glad she had heard so he wouldn't have to go through it again. However he was confused by her question, “I'm not sure what you mean I didn't tell him the whole truth,” he stated hoping she would elaborate.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 07:06 AM by Kajika.)

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His confusion tore the beta in two. Part of her believed that he was genuinely confused however the other had a feeling he was fibbing. He was too smart to play dumb and she knew it. She looked at him with a hint of skepticism as if to say really? "Allow me to clarify. You and I both know that Does has been bother you for a while now and your behavior just recently changed out of no where..." She trailed off referring to his avoidance of her and Tagg at the den site and then his sleeping outside and now this. She didnt understand why he was playing dumb. "Which means that it has nothing to do with her...which means you didnt tell him the whole truth."

She let this hang between them for a moment hoping that he'd realize he was caught and spill the beans. Moon had known her teacher for far to long to not know when he was bluffing. "So what was it that you didnt tell him?" She asked again to make sure that he understood what she wanted to know. She wasn't leaving until he told her the truth.

She was accusing him of not telling Tagg the whole truth and he couldn't be mad at her for it because she was right, he hadn't. The look I'm her eye also told him that she didn't believe he didn't know what she was talking about. What she didn't know as she did elaborate on what she meant was that he had no intention of telling her what he had left out. Her points was that his behavior had changed, his avoidance the previous day and not sleeping in the den. He could not sent she was right about it all, his most recent behavior didn't have to do with Des. Again he was reminded how much he did not want to have this conversation with her, not now, not ever. Unfortunately they were doing this right then and it seemed she wanted to have it out with him.

He still held his resolve to not tell her he had feelings for her because he knew it could ruin everything she had going for her and he wouldn't be the one to do that. She still pressed on about what he hadn't told, “I didn't tell him all the details I told you,” that was the truth. She would know since she'd been listening to their conversation, “It's always about Des.” Yes, this was about Moonshadow but it was about Des too, the mistakes he made with her, that he made with Moonshadow. It was all connected in one way or another but she couldn't see that because she didn't have all of the pieces. She wouldn't either if he had anything to say about it.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 09:54 AM by Kajika.)

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She looked at the dark man with worry once more filling her. She couldn't wrap her head around why he won't tell her. Weren't they supposed to tell each other everything so that they could support one another? As he spoke Moon knew he was telling the truth. Yes he had told her all the details about Des and didn't tell Tagg. She knew cuz she had been listening in on them. This however didnt account for his behavior - the sudden change, the distance, this conversation. It hurt the younger beta. They had had a deal to tell one another everything and now he wasn't. "Its always been about Des" she also saw the truth in that statement. She knew he had loved her and how she had taken off without a word. Moon knew the pain Kajika was in regaurding her but also knew there was something else.

"Kajika..." She began with a sigh "I know how important she is to you and how much your hurting. We talked about It but..." She trailed off pausing for a moment to think how to best put it. "But I know there's something else bothering you on top of Des. Clearly its major other wise you wouldn't be out here. We're suppose to tell each other when things are bothering us..." She left it at that hoping it would get him to realize that ya thats what they agreed to do and tell her what's up. She couldn't bare to let this fester she cared too much for him.

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

He hated the look she wore on her face, he knew it was because of him. She cared about him but he was certain it was only a friendship love. She was better off with Tagg because the tawny man at least had been able to tell her how he felt. The beta on the other hand had been so caught up in Des that he hadn't realized it until it was too late and now he was destroying their friendship because he had to keep this from her. Her happiness was the only thing that mattered to him so he had to protect her so she could be happy with the man that was clearly better for her. He had not lived when he told her it was always Des because he truly believed it, since the woman's departure the pain he felt over her loss had grown until he had become blind to what truly mattered. He saw that now but it was too late to do anything about it but send Moonshadow to Tagg no matter how much that hurt him to do.

His head fell to his chest as she spoke about Des and what the woman had meant to him as well as the pain that he was going through because of her. Moonshadow also believed there was something more that he wasn't telling her and the deal that they had. His gaze rose to hers once more the sorrow he felt keeping the truth from her clear on his face. Slowly he rose from his place on his makeshift bed from the previous night and stepped toward her. Then he he spoke quietly to her in almost a whisper. “I did not realize when I made you that promise how bad things would get. I care about our friendship Moonshadow but this is one thing I can't share with you. It's better if you don't know, I don't want to lose you as a friend but I'm only trying to look out for you.” He brushed his muzzle along her cheek, “I'm truly sorry I broke our deal,” the sadness he felt at the decision she might make clear in his voice.

The dark man then returned to his previous sitting position to await her judgment of what he'd just said.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 06:32 PM by Kajika.)

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