Poison Path Mad World

OOC! Out of character comments here

Thankfully he didnt object to having the spotlight switch onto him. She listened interntly, silver dusted ears pressed forwards and mercury eyes watching him as he spoke. She nodded when he asked if he had told her how he joined Fallen Tree Cove. He had told her the basics - him wandering around a while to make a good decision, meeting a woman named Des and how she convinced him to join. Nothing too in depth but the ebony woman didnt want to over step boundaries by prying. He spoke of leaving his birth pack and skipping over that. Wait she thought until he clarified that he'd answer any questions she had. Good cuz she knew nothing about his birth family and wanted to know more. But she would be polite and allow him to finish.

Her dark teacher elaborated more on why he had waited to join a pack. He hadnt shared the same views as his family and wanted a pack where he'd fit in. Then he spoke of a Des lady and a smile formed on his maw. She noticed it quite easily and wondered what she had meant to Kajika. Could she have meant as much to the dark man as Tagg meant to Moon? He was smiling with out her around and since the dark woman hadnt ever met her she figured she had been gone longer than Moon had been in the cove. "What happened to her?" She asked after a few moments so that he could reminisce.

Kajika didn't know if telling Moonshadow about Des would somehow help him to get over what he had been feeling lately but that wasn't completely what telling her was about. She needed to know and she needed to know he trusted her with something he hadn't shared with anyone until her. He started at the beginning which was only natural, however, he left the part out about his birth pack. It wasn't necessary for her to know all of that to understand why he was in poison path. He had finally reached the part about Des and how she fit into the story but he had yet to explain her importance in his life. As of them all Moonshadow knew was she had helped him decide to join the cove. It was also important for Moonshadow to understand why he'd taken so long to make his decision about a pack.

The question that Moonshadow was was one that didn't have a definite answer since he didn't know. He wondered if he knew what had happened if it would be easier to move on but that was something that wasn't ever going to happen. “I don't know,” he said answering Moonshadows question,”She left the cove without a word. She hadn't spoken to me in a while which was odd and then her scent faded from the territory until it wasn't there anymore,” he said the sadness he'd felt at the realization that Des was gone coming into his voice once more. “She joined the cove first and told me about how fair and helpful Namid and Vespertio were and how much she loved it here. I wanted to join for her to be in the cove with her but it wouldn't have been fair to the pack if I had only joined for her. I'm the months after our first meeting I would visit her often and we would spend time catching up.” After finishing that part he gave Moonshadow time to take on what he'd said his gaze drifting to the place where he had once sparred with Des while he waited.

(This post was last modified: Jan 24, 2017, 02:00 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC! Out of character comments here

"I don't know" those three words were ones the young beta was familiar with. She knew what it was like to not know and have it eat away at you. It wasn't a pleasant feeling to have. Her ears flicked back in silent understanding showing she knew, to some degree, what he was going through. His description sounded almost like he was describing her disappearance. Silver tipped ears flicked back and stayed back this time out of guilt for her own actions. Now it made sense as to why he had been so worried about her...he had been through this before except for the first time she never came back. She continued to listen quietly the sadness in his voice pained the young woman. She didnt like it when the ones she cared for were sad and wanted to do anything she could to fix it.

Kajika explained in greater detail how she helped him join. How she had joined first and told him about how kind Namid was and how he waited a few months to join. His wait was die to him not wanting to join just for Des because that wouldn't be fair to the cove. It was understandable and totally sounded like him - putting others needs before his own. An encouraging smile formed on Moons inky lips to help him through his tale. She knew how difficult it must be to tell someone this but she also knew how helpful it could be. When she had told him about her family it helped her to heal and let go. So more or less she was returning the favor and hoped it help him the same way it helped her.

His story wasn't quite over after he explained about joining the cove and why he had taken so long to make up his mind. He had also told of how he had met Des but he had yet to help Moonshadow understand what the woman had meant to him and why he was here on poison path. He saw her ears flick back and accepted it for what it was after he had told her about Des leaving. It should be clear to her now why he worried so when she would disappear, he was afraid she would leave him too. Yes, Moonshadow had come back but the fear was always there in the back of his mind chipping away at any confidence and trust he had in his friend to always return.

He returned Moonshadows smile with a small on if his own, a small thank you for her being there to listen. He needed to continue on though, she needed to hear it all so that she would know not for any other reason then he wanted her to know. “I visited her as often as I could in the months between her joining the cove and mine. Often times we would just lay together by the lake and talk. There were other times where I taught her to fish in the lake or once we came here to this path and sparred right over there,” he indicated the spot with his muzzle. “Over time it became harder and harder to leave her until I finally came to the lake to stay for a few days, that's when I made the decision. Namid accepted me and I was able to see Des everyday until she was gone.”

He felt that he had told the entire story to Moonshadow or at least all the important parts so that she would have her initial question answered. More than that though she could have a better understanding of him hopefully and know that he trusted her.

(This post was last modified: Jan 25, 2017, 06:55 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC! Out of character comments here

Silver eyes were pleased to see her smile returned. She knew that her mentor was feeling down and wanted to cheer him up so the fact that he smiled back gave her confirmation that she was doing a good job. Moonshadow listened intently as her friend d continued his tale. He spoke of visiting her often near the cove and how they would simply spend time together. Whether is was just laying around and talking or him teacher her to fish. Her mercury gaze followed his motion to a spot up ahead where they had sparred. After looking over it for a moment she looked back at him as he informed her more. The dark man had found it harder and harder to leave and eventually made the decision to stay and join the pack. Namid had accepted him and he had gotten to see Des everyday until she was gone. A pang of sympathy filled the woman for she could understand why he was so hurt. While she may not know that Kajika had loved this Des, she imagined even losing a friend like that would be difficult. Silver dusted ears flicked back in silent apology for him losing a 'friend'. She couldn't imagine losing someone like that. It would be like him simply taking off without a word. The young woman would be absolutely devastated. Moon stayed silent as to allow him to continue if there was more he wanted to share.

He had finished telling Moonshadow about his past with Des and the full story of how he came to be in Fallen Tree Cove. She had been a good listener to letting him get everything out so that he wouldn't have to pause in the telling of it. He wasn't sure if his student has put all of the pieces together yet, though knowing her she had. He was glad to finally be done with all of the past details and he was glad that he had finally been able to tell Moonshadow about it. He had been keeping it to himself for far too long and especially keeping it from the woman he considered a dear friend.

Even though he had gotten through the details of his past with Des he still had a little more to say. He had promised to tell Moonshadow that he would tell her when something was bothering just as she had to him. “I have found lately that my mind drifts to that time more and more and so often I find myself here or at the lake. Sometimes, like today I don't even realize I have gone to those places until there and I don't understand why after so long this is happening.” He met her gaze, eyes filled with worry, “I am worried that it's going to get worse,” he told her honestly. After all it had gotten worse over time and even more so in the past months.

(This post was last modified: Jan 26, 2017, 06:12 PM by Kajika.)

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Being a good listener had always been a strong suit for the dark woman, she prided herself on it. She loved being there for others to help them in anyway she could and sometimes she could do that by simply listening. This was one of those instances where all the other needed was a listening ear. Silver tipped ears stood straight atop her head as her mercury gaze watched his features even when he wasn't looking. Moon had been correct when she choose to stay quiet because there indeed was more he needed to say. She admitted that his mind had been drifting more and more back to that time and he had actually ended up either at the lake or where they were now - wherever that was. This concerned the dark woman as she knew what that was like. She had done the same thing with her family for a while. She had pushed the memories, the unknown, everything aside in hopes it would just go away and it worked for a while. Until it caught back up to her and haunted her. She had to learn to deal with it another way other wise it would have drove her mad. His warm gaze met her cool one as he spoke that he thought it would get worse. The worry was clear in his eyes. Empathy now filled the midnight she-wolf. She knew exactly want he was feeling even if the feeling had had different origins. "It might" she admitted feeling it was time for her input. She knew that those were not the words he wanted to hear so she elaborated "I only say that because that is what happened to me. I had buried the memories of my family and what had happened for so long they eventually came back to haunt me. I had to learn a different method of coping before it got better..." She trailed off hoping that he understood her point. She didnt know how he had coped with her disappearance but clearly it hadn't worked if it was still bothering him this bad after so long. 

It wasn't easy to admit to Moonshadow that he worried about what would happen if he couldn't get through whatever it was he was going through. As hard as it was he felt she had a right to know that he hadn't been himself and even he recognized it. What made it worse was he didn't have any idea on what to do to make things better and part of him wanted to tell her that she should keep her distance. That it was better for her but he couldn't do that, he needed her because she was his friend. Even if she couldn't help him fix it just her sitting and listening helped because he could trust her and didn't feel he had to hold anything back from her.

Finally she he had finished his admissions she spoke about her family and how she had gone through the same kinds of emotions and experiences. He nodded, “I'm sorry I never realized,” said empathy on his tone because he knew how maddening it could be. She then spoke about finding another way to cope, his brow furrowed, “What did you do to cope with what happened to your family,?” he asked curiously. Perhaps what had worked for her might help him or give him some idea of what he could do because he did not like being in This place.

(This post was last modified: Jan 26, 2017, 07:37 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC! I'm sorry this took so long. I lost this post three times and then lost my motivation Dx

A warm smile crossed her maw in thanks for his apology. Saying 'its not your fault' would just be a waste since she knee he wasn't saying sorry out of guilt but instead out of empathy. His question that followed caught the ebony female off guard for a moment. How did she cope? If one had to be completely honest she still was even after all this time. Taking a deep breath she thought for a moment. "When I got separated from them I held onto the possibility of them being out there somewhere and that I was going to find them. That belief is what pushed me to keep going...until I made it here. Then you found me and I had to rethink everything. While you were gone for those few days I simply put away that belief so that I could focus on joining and becoming apart of the pack..." She trailed off for a moment casting her eyes downwards. It was her shoving the hope of her families whereabouts that eventually led her to accidentally taking off. "I did that for so long - no longer acknowledging it, them - that it seemed as if I had moved On but I really hadn't. When I came across what I thought was my brothers scent it all surfaced at once. That's why I took off after it the hope they were alive was all I could think about." She shifted her weight where she sat as the painful memories came back to her. "When the trail went cold I had to realize they were gone and that I wasn't ever going to see them again. That realization hurt so I allowed myself to cry...a lot. Crying allowed me to properly mourn their loss. When I finally made it back to the cove I had only partly accepted the notion. And now while I'd love to see them again I know I won't. Time is the greatest healer and you just have to find what works for you. Different things at different times can work. From what I can tell is you've been avoiding dealing with it at all for a long time." She looked back at his amber eyes with a warm smile. She needed him to know there's other ways than torturing oneself. "Maybe hoping you'll see her again would work. Or maybe the opposite would. You just have to see for yourself." She leaned over to nudge her coal like nose into the dark fur behind his ear in comfort. She would be there for her friend no matter what. And while she could offer possibilities, she couldn't tell him which would be best for him.

Ooc:No worries, I hate when that happens, still a great post.

Kajika had only learned about her family and what had happened to them when she returned and while they had talked about it he hadn't pressed her for information. It wasn't his way as he had learned a long time ago it wasn't necessary. Not to mention he didn't like to be pressed for information so expected it was the same for others. She didn't share a whole lot more but he was empathetic toward what she had gone through, hadn't he after all in a way? It was different and similar at the same time which led him to asking how she had copied hoping it might help him to deal with what he was going through. It was then that she told him more about her family and what she had felt, how she had dealt with it. All of it seemed so similar to what he had done with Des in coping with with her disappearance. He listened as she spoke telling him more of the story but more importantly the feelings she had while it was all happening to her.

The nudge she gave him behind his ear when she had finished was a comfort, a gentle reminder that she was there for him. He turned to her and pressed his forehead into her scruff staying quiet for a moment as he processed all she said. Then he he was ready he pulled back to meet her gaze once more, “I wish you had spoken to me about this before, I might have been able to help but I understand if it's something you felt you needed to do on your own.” He also didn't want her to feel obligated to come to him if she wasn't ready to talk about something. “I did that for a long time with Des, holding out hope that she would return, that she hadn't left for good and perhaps she'd been sent on a scouting mission or was taking a little more time hunting. Then too much time had passed and my hope for her return started to wane.” He thought about her statement about no longer acknowledging her family seeming like she had moved on and again he couldn't help relating her words and situation to himself. “I think I did that to with her, put her in a safe place deep inside and not thinking about her and instead concentrating on the pack and you. It was only a few months before I met you that she was gone.” Then as she spoke about her brother's scent going cold and having to realize she wasn't ever going to see her family again he nodded. He understood, when he had realized Des’s scent was gone and there wasn't anything to follow to find her… He shook that out of his head,he couldn't think about it then, “Maybe I haven't ever given myself time to properly mourn her? Like you did with your family, maybe that's why it's coming back to me in this way.” She spoke of time being a great healer but that caused another question to arise, “How much time?” He asked a note of pleading in his tone, hope that she could give him some kind of answer as to how long he would feel as he did. “Is this all part of it? The feeling that I'm going crazy and there's nothing to do about it. Will it ever stop?” A note of a desperation for it to be over had entered his voice though he hadn't meant for it too.

His ears fell as she spoke the last words, “I just wish I knew what would help, hoping, giving up hope...I just don't know Moonshadow but I need to move on from this somehow.”

(This post was last modified: Jan 29, 2017, 07:26 PM by Kajika.)

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