Poison Path Mad World

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Her nudge to his ear was returned with him pressing his forehead into her scruff. She leaned into him as to give him more comfort. The teacher turned student stayed silent and the student turned teacher allowed him to process her words. She would allow him as much time as he needed showing her support. When he lifted from her she met his gaze. He spoke of how he wished she would have come to him about her family so he could have helped and that he understood if she felt like she had to deal with it on her own. "Its not that I thought I had to handle it on my own. It was that I didnt even know it was an issue" she explained hoping he would see that she didnt purposefully keep it from him.

He began to speak of his coping methods. The start of his seemed to parall that of hers, hold out hope of seeing them/her once more and then storing away that hope to focus on the pack. She nodded with a sad smile from knowing exactly what he had gone through. It was tough having hope and then having to let go of said hope. The dark man continued on to say that maybe he hadn't allowed himself enough time to mourn her disappearance. That was a very good possibility, Moon had felt a lot better when she had just allowed herself to cry and blame the universe and be angry and sad for what had happened. Maybe that's what hr needed to do as well? His next question came with a hint of pleading in his tone. "How much time?" Her expression turned to one with sorrow and regret. She had no idea how much time and it pained her that she couldn't give him an answer. "I wish I had a set amount but everyone is different. To be honest I'm still working on mine...all I know is it takes a lot of time..." She trailed off glancing away from him. She hated seeing him in pain and hated not being able to do anything about it even more.

His next string of questions caused a inaudible whine to form in the woman's chest. She shifted and pressed her head into the side of his neck hoping it would comfort him. "Yes the feeling is normal and yes it will stop. I can't tell you when though for I do not know. All I know I'd that it'll remain until you are able to find a new way of coping with it." She explained into his fur. She had felt that way when she lost the scent of her brother...mourning and crying and all the rest of it was what had alleviated the crazy feeling. She looked back at him as he explained that he wished she already knew what would work and that he needed to move on. She gave him a small knowing smile and a small nod. She could agree with him simply because moving on would mean he wasn't hurting anymore and that's really all the woman wanted.

He felt her lean into him as he pressed his head into her scruff, he was extremely glad that he had her in his life. With all he was going through in his head he wasn't sure what he would do if he didn't have her to talk to. Even though he was going through his own loss and what came with that he wanted to be there for her too through her’s. Still he knew from his own experiences that there were times when trying to figure out things on their own was necessary. Now though he wondered if he had spent too much time trying to deal with Des’s loss on his own. Something struck inside of him as she admitted she didn't know she had an issue. “I think it's hard to know when you go on so long normally and everything feels okay for the most part. You have this feeling but you've pushed it so far down it's hard to describe and then you don't realize it's an issue until something happens to bring it out of that place it's been for so long.”It was funny in a away how similar they were especially in their coping methods when it came to the ones they had lost. Kajika was comforted by the fact that she could really understand what he was going through because it wasn't about who they lost but the fact that they had lost them and how they had dealt with it. The losses were still significant to each of them even if she had lost her family and he had lost the woman that he loved. He hoped that by talking about this with him she was getting help too, that maybe as they discussed how they had coped it would help them both to move on even if it was just a little. He had become almost desperate for the hope of some kind of end to what he'd been going through. She however couldn't give him an answer, he nodded, “I know you're right,” he admitted and as she spoke about not being over hers he wondered, “Maybe we never truly get over it, maybe it's something that gets easier with time once we have mourned their loss?” He was merely thinking out loud but it was something he felt she should hear too. He didn't know if it would help her but he didn't want her to miss that though either.

Without thinking he bombarded her with questions hoping for some sort of answer that might make him feel better about what was happening. He closed his eyes and she pressed her head into his neck, it gave him a moment where his mind wasn't working so hard. She spoke telling him what he felt was normal and that it would stop but she didn't know when it would stop but it was clear he needed to find a way to cope. He knew she couldn't answer that for him either because it was something he had to deal with on his own. “At least maybe I can stop feeling like I'm going crazy all of the time to know that it's normal and will stop.” He laid his head on the top of hers as she held her head against him, “I suppose I just have to be patient,” he added though he was a patient man he was tired of feeling like he did.

(This post was last modified: Jan 29, 2017, 08:41 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC! One more post from each of us and you wanna archive? :)

His words on not knowing one has a problem until something brings it up from the depth of ones subconscious spoke to her. She couldn't agree more with him for that was exactly what had happened to her and what seemed to have happened with him. A small smile was still worn upon her maw as she nodded in agreement. "Its funny how that works. Maybe that happens to keep us from not dealing with things" she suggested hoping that she could provide some answers for him. She wanted to answer his previous questions but had no way of knowing the answers. Luckily for her he agreed and said that she was right.

He inquired that maybe the greif never truly goes away but instead it becomes easier to deal with. Moonshadow pondered the thought for a moment. It made sense to the female beta since the sting of coping still hits her from time to time. "That would make the most sense. Even though I've mourn them the pain still hits me every now and again but its not as bad as it was in the beginning" she admitted with a meek smile. The student wanted to reassure her teacher and show him that it does in fact eventually get better. She felt for the man as he described his hope that he would eventually stop feeling like he was losing his mind. She knew what it was like to feel as if she was going crazy. She had gone about it the wrong way by keeping it to herself. This was one of the reasons behind her being there for Kajika. She knew it would be better and heal quicker if he talked to someone, and who better than someone who's been through it? "It'll go away eventually" she said as she leaned into him. She hummed as he places his head upon hers. It was a comfort to know that she wasn't the only one to have gone through something like that. Her mind then drifted to @Tagg as she wondered if he had gone through the same thing and how he had coped with it. That was a conversation for another day though, right now she would focus on being there for her friend.

Ooc: I'm fading with this post and will archive.

Explaining it out loud helped him to realize that the reason all of this was happening to him was because he hadn't ever really taken the time he needed. It was his mind telling him that after all of this time he needed to deal with whatever emotions he had regarding Des. He smiled at her words glad she understood what he'd been trying to say, “It is funny how it works but I suppose to move on with our lives we have to deal with things.” Kajika wasn't happy with the idea that he had brought this on himself but it left another question in his mind that he knew she wouldn't be able to answer. Why was this happening now?

After Des had gone he had felt the pain of her loss periodically but never like he did now and not as often as he did now. Her words did give him some comfort that once he was able to cope with Des’s loss it would get easier. He knew he would never forget her but in time Thinking about her might not be so painful. “That gives me hope that one day I will be better and thinking about her or hearing her name won't be so painful.” While he had told Moonshadow about Des because she needed to know he was glad that they had done more than him telling her the story. Talking with her about what was going on with him made him feel a little better but he feared it would get worse before it got better. She however seemed confident that what he was feeling would eventually go away. Her faith in that gave him hope that he wouldn't feel like he do forever. He nodded to acknowledge her words, “Thank you Moonshadow, I'm glad we talked, it helped me sort through some things and while I feel I have a long road ahead of me it doesn't seem so hopeless anymore.” As his head rested on hers the sound of her him was also a comfort, knowing she was there for him when he needed her.

Fade

(This post was last modified: Jan 31, 2017, 12:30 PM by Kajika.)

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