Fallen Tree Cove Speak of the Devil

OOC! @Kajika Takes place the day after this thread 

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Word Count: 232

Tagg had spent the night hunting, and returned before sunrise.  He’d crept into the den and curled up next to Moon, and not woken when she left for the day.  Now it was early afternoon, and Tagg was wishing he hadn’t stayed out so late.  But he needed to find Kajika.  He wasn’t sure how what he had to tell him would help, or even if it would, but he felt more harm would be done if he kept the information from him.

Padding out of the den and yawning, Tagg set off to locate the beta.  It didn’t take him long to track down his friend’s scent and follow it to the border, where he assumed the other wolf was conducting a patrol.  “Kajika, I need to tell you something.” He called, picking up his pace to catch up with him.

He wasn’t sure how he should say it… would Kajika be pleased? Would he be angry? Tagg had no way of knowing what his friend was thinking or if what he was about to say would hurt him. But he wanted to help. “I was out looking for prey toward Riddle Heights after our conversation yesterday.” He began, picking his words carefully.  “I ran into another wolf out there.  She was saying she had one more thing to go do, but she is heading this way.”

He took a deep breath. “It was Des.”

"Speech"  Thought

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Waking up next to the lake for the second day in a row hadn't exactly been on Kajika's top favorite moments. However, after the previous day's events he hadn't felt like doing anything, what he'd had to do for Moonshadow… it had been almost too much for him to take. He was starting to feel that the hits wouldn't stop so as he woke staring at the fog over the lake for the second time he didn't want to get moving. The beta couldn't let another day pass though without at least trying to get something done for the pack.

It was slow going as he made his way along the border with his head and tail carried low. Almost as soon as he had gotten out there he has a change of heart wondering if he shouldn't just go back the lake shore. Spend another day, allow himself just one more day of mourning...That's what it was, letting go of the two women he cared most about. The beta was finally brought from these morose thoughts by the sound of Tagg's voice. “What is it Tagg?” Asked his tone carrying a note of sorrow.

Instead of waiting for the man to catch up and they continued the patrol Kajika fell back on his haunches to wait for this news the tawny man had. It couldn't be any worse then what he'd already went through in recent days though he hoped with all of his heart it didn't have to do with Moonshadow. However his ear perked slightly as Tagg described running into another wolf in Riddle Heights while hunting. It had taken place while he had been talking to Moonshadow but even more curious was why Tagg was coming to him about this, “If she's head…”

Kajika stopped mid sentence as the tawny male practically blurted out that is was Des he had seen in Riddle Heights coming toward the cove, “I'm sorry Tagg but you must be mistaken,” said Kajika breathlessly as he rose to his feet. He didn't need this, it was like some sick joke the man was playing on him. “Why would you do this?” He asked as he backed away.

(This post was last modified: Jan 31, 2017, 05:42 PM by Kajika.)

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A young deer has been separated from the rest of its herd. Hunt Opportunity

OOC!  

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Word Count: 218

Kajika’s initial confusion came as no surprise; the prospect of a new wolf was something usually taken to the alpha.  Tagg really ought to speak with Vespertio about this as well, now that he was thinking about it.  Still, he felt Kajika had a right to know first.

The beta’s reaction to hearing her name was not unexpected, but then he as well as accused Tagg of doing something wrong.  The scarred man’s ears flicked back, hurt. “Why am I doing what?” He asked, before becoming a little angry.  “I may be half blind, but the rest of my senses work just fine, thank you very much.  I know who I saw, and we even spoke.  It was her.  She said she had one more thing to do, but she’s coming back.” He resisted the urge to spit these words out; getting temperamental wouldn’t help.

He had doubted it himself at first, after all.  If she hadn’t confirmed his suspicions herself he wouldn’t be here.  He would have brought her with him to meet Vespertio if she had been anyone else.  Since she knew her way to the Cove, however, thought it would be fine to let her run her errand before returning.

“I thought you would be pleased to hear she’s coming back.” He said almost petulantly.

I should have waited.

"Speech"  Thought

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Those three words could not sink in it couldn't be true, the tawny male had to be wrong. Des was gone and she wasn't coming back and now he was trying to accept it, trying to move past it so that he could get on with his life without her. Now he had come claiming that she was coming back that she only had one thing to take care of before she did come back. Kajika was starting to feel like he couldn't breath with what happened the previous day with not only the man in front of him but Moonshadow as well and now this.

It seemed Tagg did not understand the gravity of the situation, what his claim meant to the beta. He couldn't even fathom the possibility that she could truly be back. What made it worse is before Kajika could even explain himself the tawny man became angry with him. The beta couldn't do this now, he couldn't have this fight and he wouldn't fight with Tagg. He would not do that to Moonshadow. “I am not trying to insult you or your senses,” he stated doing his best to muster any calm that was inside of him on that moment, “But you don't understand what telling me this is doing to me, what's been happening to me the past months. I have been trying to move on, I have to believe she isn't coming back for my own sanity. I don't know what would happen if she was coming back,” he explained after falling back on his haunches. The posture he held was that of a man whose felt defeated by the demons that haunted his every moment.

“Of course I would be happy to see her, to know she is alive to have her back with me…,” he trailed off and sighed before speaking again, “Even if she is coming back there is no guarantee she feels as she did before she left. Where does that leave me?”

(This post was last modified: Jan 31, 2017, 10:29 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC!  

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Word Count: 220

Tagg instantly felt bad for his anger; the man was hurting.  He was bound to be a little defensive. Tagg sighed.  “I know you weren’t.  I’m sorry.”  His next words confused him a little.  “I didn’t tell you this to hurt you, and I’m sorry it did.  But she is coming back.  I mean, that’s what she said, anyway. I don’t see why she would bother to come all the way back here if that wasn’t really her intention.” He said gently.

He couldn’t help but pity the wolf sitting before him, defeated.  Tagg almost wished, for his friend’s sake, that he’d chosen to go another direction yesterday and hadn’t run into her at all.  He wished she really had gone for good.  But at the same time… maybe if she came back, it would help the beta get better.

“A wise man once told me that not knowing was worse.” He smiled.  “If she feels differently, then you’ll know.  It might just help you to move on.” He couldn’t imagine the pain he’d feel if Moon suddenly decided she didn’t love him anymore, and he knew if Des had changed her mind it would hurt his friend.  But he’d been hurting all along, so maybe it might be like pulling the tooth from the wound and therefor allowing it to heal.

"Speech"  Thought

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In his own confused mind Kajika did know know what Tagg was up to and he worried the tawny man had meant to cause him harm. Maybe he had found out what has transpired with Moonshadow and was angry with him even if Kajika didn't believe he needed to be. Whatever it was he didn't feel he had anything to prove by keeping the fight going. He offered the man an apology and an explanation in hopes it might calm his friend. The beta nodded slowly his acknowledgement of the apology but was shaking his head as Tagg continued to speak. “I can't believe she is coming I can't let myself hope for something that may never come to pass.” However his gaze did meet the gaze from the tawny man's unscarred eye as he spoke about her coming if her intentions were true. “She wanted to be a scout,” was all he said in regards to that but he was angry with himself immediately for thinking such a think about her. Hi also would not deny there was a point in the man's words .

In fact he had let those words, that question tumble around inside his brain. Though he was in such a heightened stated from this encounter and the one’s he'd had the previous day Kajika tried to pull himself together in a coherent way. “I don't know Tagg, right now I have lost so much and I don't know if I can handle having that hope and it turning out she wasn't coming after all.” Talking with Moonshadow had left him with such a sinking feeling that he hadn't even been sure he could get up from it. Though what had happened was his doing, what he had done for the man in front of him. Kajika felt like he had lost his best friend all over again and he didn't know what to do without her.

The dark man huffed as Tagg repeated the words that the beta had said to him, twice now in as many days his words had been spit back at him. In fact it wasn't a different bit of advice either but the same exact sentence. He also spoke about what could happen if Des did in fact not carry the same feelings for him she once had, “Would you be able to live with yourself in the same pack as her everyday knowing you lost her because you never told her how you felt?” He asked an unshed tear threatening to fall for his amber eye. They were friends, right? It didn't really matter anymore what Tagg thought of him or any of the others, he was aware of how pathetic he now was compared to the man he used to be. Any hopes of living in ataraxia were slowly leaving the man as the days passed in which he felt he lost just one more thing that was important.

(This post was last modified: Feb 01, 2017, 05:21 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC!  

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Word Count: 231

Tagg of all wolves knew that hope could be a torturous thing.  It was impossible to explain, impossible to truly banish.  It was always there on some level, lurking; the desire for something, but never knowing if it would come to pass or not.  One could be driven mad by it if they let themselves go.

He found he couldn’t meet Kajika’s gaze.  It was filled with too much pain and… maybe a pleading.   “I can understand.” He said quietly.  He felt terrible for messing things up yet again.  He should learn to stop meddling and just let things be.  “I told you because I was afraid if she showed up unexpectedly, and I knew she was coming but didn’t tell you, you would be angry with me.” He sighed.  “I should have waited.”

He finally found the courage to look up, just in time for the beta to ask Tagg a question that lanced pain trough him.  It was a made up fear, something he really shouldn’t consider.  But he’d just thought about it, hadn’t he? Could his friend read minds? He shook his head. “Probably not.  But Kajika, you’ve done so much for this pack… if it came to it, Namid and Vespertio would choose you over anyone else.”

He was certain it was true; they may offer second chances, but would that hold if her presence meant their faithful beta would leave?

"Speech"  Thought

l

As much as it might help him to see Des or as much as he might want her back in his life he didn't want to believe it could really happen until she was right in front of him. So many times she had returned to the cove in his dreams for him to wake up and she not be there. He couldn't go on in the manner that he was or he wouldn't ever get better. In his mind there would always be the chance so he wouldn't never truly mourn her which had been his problem all along.

A horrible thought about her that he despised himself for had crossed his mind and it seemed Tagg had gotten the message so he didn't not feel the need to speak more on it. Instead he focused on what the Tawny man admitted to him next. “I appreciate our friendship was a concern in your decision to tell me and to be honest I don't know how I would have felt if you hadn't told me. Now, later it wouldn't have mattered when you told me, things for me have gotten worse since we last spoke,” he said in a moment where he has to put what he was feeling aside for his friend, “I just don't know what's going to happen to me.”

Knowing was better than not knowing, he did what he could to not find irritation at having his words thrown back in his face. He knew Tagg was right because he would then know if there was even anything left between him and Des. The problem was the beta didn't know if he could accept the reality that she didn't care for him as she once had. That he had been too much of a coward to tell her how he felt and like Moonshadow lost her forever. “I don't think I could let them choose me over her. I couldn't see her kicked out of the cove because of me,” he explained shaking his head.

Kajika didn't know what would happen in such a circumstance and he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The doubt that continuously plagued his mind asking what if Tagg was wrong, he already felt his place in the pack was in danger.

(This post was last modified: Feb 01, 2017, 07:02 PM by Kajika.)

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OOC!  

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Word Count: 218

Tagg felt terrible. “Kajika…” If he’d known the beta would react this way, he would have told the former scout-in-training to be on her way.  Yet he felt that if he’d done that and Kajika found out later, it would have been the end of their friendship.  I just can’t win. He thought despondently.

“I’ve gotten worse…” How could he have gotten worse? They only spoke the previous day! Fear for his friend suddenly filled Tagg. The beta’s comment about not knowing what would happen to him brought pity back into the scarred man. “Maybe you need a vacation, Kajika, I’m serious.  Maybe you can find something to do for the pack that takes you out of the territory for a little while.  Some fresh air and new scenery might help clear your head.”  He knew he’d suggested a break before, but if Kajika had gotten worse, maybe he would listen this time.

“I know you wouldn’t, Kajika, but Vespertio isn’t likely to let you go easy.  We all value you too much.” He knew that if he was the reason the teacher in training left, Tagg would never be able to live with himself.  He wouldn’t be able to look their alphas in the eye.  He would chase Des out himself before he saw Kajika leave the Cove.

"Speech"  Thought

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