Leigh Glen I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes

February 5th
@Kino
Partly cloudy, -1F/-18C

The trip had been something Draven had been thinking about for a long time but had never mustered the courage to do. Maybe it was how comfortable he had become in his routine at the Cove, or maybe it was just fear of what he would find when he went back. Either way his routine had been disrupted with his fight with @Neha, he was now openly avoiding her despite being more social with the rest of the pack. That and seeing Namid rise to power where she belonged had sent a pang in his heart, memories of his mother so strong despite everything flooding his dreams every night.

None of the reasons why really mattered, what got him there was one simple fact; Draven missed and needed his mom. Maybe he couldn't go back and see her like others could see their parents and this probably wasn't what Namid had pictured when she gave him permission to go "visit family". None of it mattered, and his anxiety increased with every step that brought him closer to the rolling mountains that had been his birthplace. He had known that Gent and Raela no longer held the place in their grasp but whatever the teen had been expecting it hadn't been everything he had once known completely deserted.

It was heart wrenching to see everything his mom had worked so hard for completely empty as if it had never stood at all. Draven spent the night in what had been his birthplace, the den he had joined the world in but he didn't get much sleep. Tossing and turning until the first rays of light began to filter through the huge trees that littered the territory. The Lagina spent all morning wandering aimlessly through his childhood, going so far as to leave his scent on what had been their borders for good measure.

Any nervousness he had felt completely melted away the second he entered the glen, a sense of calm washing over him. Moving forward with purpose he sat down beside the place he knew she had been buried; Minka's final resting place. With a sigh his whole body seemed to deflate until he was laying next to her, curled beside her like he had done so many times as a pup. Once the words started coming he couldn't stop and everything that had happened since she died poured out. Draven liked to think she was always watching over him and knew it all already but it seemed rude not to tell her just in case. But, like all teenage boys, his ramblings mostly revolved around one thing. Girls. Mainly his fight with Neha and with another sigh he glanced beside him to the grave, "I know I messed it up mom, but what do I do now?"

Wordy post is wordy. Also biting my nails bc omg

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you

Kino had asked permission from Morganna to go out for a day or so and scout for some prey. She’d readily agreed to it and after a quick stop to Hal to tell her he’d been on his way. While hunting was definitely on his list it wasn’t the only thing. Now that he was so close to his mother, only a day compared to the entire week before, he’d made it a goal to try and visit more since he didn’t know when it would be that he would be able to do so again. He’d made it a goal to try and accept what had happened more instead of allowing it to fester. His biggest motivation for this was Hal and his worry that his demons were dragging her down. Perhaps he wasn’t the only thing to do so, but lately her mood had been far less from the girl he’d first met and it killed him to see her so down. He supposed that if he could learn to forgive, even a little bit, then there might finally be a ray of hope for the boy who lived in the shadows.

What he didn’t expect, however, was to see his greatest obstacle to that success laying at his mother’s grave. Or rather, their mother’s grave. He’d thought he’d heard a voice upon approach and he’d managed to get himself squared away behind a tree. As he peered around he was shocked to find the form of someone he recognized, even after all this time. Though they were grown now, each filling out in their own way, the face of his brother was not one that he’d soon forget. The green eyes even sealed the deal.

He kept himself hidden away, heart beating wildly in his chest but he attempted to keep his breathing in check. He listened to the other boy’s words, his story laying out basically since Minka’s death on the table. Kino didn’t know why he’d stayed to listen. If he’d been any other boy than the one he’d become recently he might have turned and ran back to Hal. But...he didn’t. He stayed and listened for reasons he didn’t quite understand, but as he listened to Draven speak he found a sort of solace in his words. To learn that the boy, too, had turned his back on Gent was somewhat of a shock. He’d thought that the wolves who had tried so hard to protect the fragile Lagina would become the ones that the boy stuck to. But, it didn’t seem so. And, it came as an even bigger knock to learn that he lived with the Cove wolves who had lived just a day or two away from the Bend. The pair had been so close, even been allies, yet he’d had no clue. There was so much he didn’t know, apparently.

The silver yearling was hesitant at first, debating whether or not he should show himself because he still didn’t quite know his brother’s feelings with him. Surely they both harbored resentment, for even now everything in Kino was telling him to turn and run or to simply attack but he held bad. He forced himself to not rely on instinct or do the thing he always did. He had to do this...he had to. So, he stepped forward. “You try to fix it,” he said, replying in the best manner he thought that Minka would have told them to do. He stayed a decent ways back, slightly wary but it was clear he wasn’t there to fight. Here, he didn’t have it in him anymore.

With sentimental boy as my nom de plume

There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health

As he talked through his story the scent of something familiar filled him, but Draven chalked it up to be nothing but nostalgia tricking him. Kino had left the Crest even before he had and even if the silver boy hadn't there was nothing left of the pack. He had seen the abandoned territory with his own two eyes. Still, the longer he spoke the stronger the smell became and it set the yearling's muscles tense beneath his pelt. Was his mother trying to send him some kind of message? Or was all of this his mind tricking him? Maybe now that he was back in this place everything he had been holding onto was finally going to let go.

At the end of his words Draven hadn't been expecting any kind of answer, certainly not a verbal one. Instead he was just hoping that he would come to some kind of resolve just from visiting her, like his mother could guide him the right way. You try to fix it. Instantly he was on his feet and the green eyes sought out the form of the wolf who had voiced the words and broke the spell.

What they found was not anything like he had been expecting. The voice had held a familiar sound but it had been so much deeper than last time he had heard Kino speak and his sight was even more of a shock. Draven had filled out to be tall and lean, raven pelted with emerald green eyes that seemed warm no matter what his emotion was. Kino, Kino was even taller than he was, and muscular, brawny instead of sleek. The platinum pelt was reminiscent of Kova, and of the father that neither of the teens had ever known, the topaz eyes sharp and intelligent.

Shock.

That was all that Draven felt and for a moment he could do nothing but just stare, emotions composed behind his perfected mask.

"What are you doing here Kino?"

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you

As soon as his words were out Draven was on his feet, whirling around and allowing Kino to get a better look at him. He was the shortest and gangliest of his siblings, all of them filling out in their own way. Draven seemed to be all legs and thin body, Ari had turned into a burly bear of a girl, and Kino was ever the middle child growing into himself to be nicely proportioned. It didn’t seem like the boy was unhealthy, rather his charcoal coat had a healthy sheen to it and even though he was thin he was clearly not starving. The silver yearling found himself wondering yet again why he cared so much, why he was not seething and spitting with hatred toward the youth. But, he felt none of that flame.

How curious.

His brother seemed to have perfected a mask just like the moon-child, as even he couldn’t detect anything more than a flickering of something he couldn’t quite pinpoint in those forest eyes. ”Why did you come here Kino,” he asked and his gaze slid down to the grave beneath the yearlings dark paws. For a moment he had forgotten why. But it was, of course, for her. Always for her.

“I wanted to see mom,” he replied, keeping his eyes on her grave but remaining where he was.

With sentimental boy as my nom de plume

As the topaz eyes dipped down the grave at his feet Draven felt himself side step instinctively, giving Minka more of the respect that she deserved. The whole situation had him feeling as if this wasn't real, it was all a dream or something, or happening to somebody else who looked like him but he was just watching. The yearling wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel right now, or even truly how he did feel right now. His head spun with so many questions, wanting to fill so many blanks, so many things he wanted to say but he couldn't get the words out.

What does one say to the brother you haven't seen in a year who disowned you after your mother's death?

Had it really only been a little over a year? It seemed like so much longer since Kino had left the Crest with Kova, so much had happened. Looking down towards where he knew that Gent had buried the queen he felt some sort of resolve fill him. He knew without question that she would want them to forgive each other, to reconcile and become the brothers that they were always meant to be. But how were they supposed to do that? How do they get from here to where she would want them to be?

Blinking away the shimmer of tears that had been forming he cleared his throat, self-conscious about how much emotion he had been showing. Looking back up to the ghostly man he broke the silence that had stretched between them, "This is the first time I've been back since I left." It certainly wasn't much but it was a start. Swallowing the lump forming in his throat he gave an olive branch: "I'm glad you're okay Kino. I was worried when Kova never came back that something had happened to you."

(This post was last modified: Feb 15, 2017, 07:14 PM by Draven.)

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you

The silence stretched thickly between them, and as Kino raised his gaze he was surprised to find tears shone in his brother’s forest eyes But, he was quick to dispel it with a clearing of his throat and after a moment he spoke telling of how this was his first time being there since he’d left the Crest. A slow nod bobbed his head in understanding. “I’ve only been here once before. I’ve been too far away to be able to come visit until about a month and some before now,” he replied.

The next words that escaped the yearling’s jaws surprised the boy completely, the peace offering of sorts catching him off guard but something in his chest started to seal itself. A part of him that was ashamed of himself for his past actions, the part that blamed himself like he was the cause of their family being ripped apart because...well...it sort of was. But even his brother seemed to be able to forgive him and it healed him more than he ever thought possible. A slowly grin brought itself to his maw and he took slow steps toward Draven. He allowed himself to move so that he was standing across from him, their mother’s grave between them but this time it didn’t feel like a divide like it had before. It was like she was sitting there, coaxing them on. He swore he even felt a soft nudge of encouragement.

“I’m glad you’re okay too, Draven. I know...I know what I did wasn’t right. I’ve had a lot of time and a lot of help fighting that demon. A lot of sleepless nights thinking about it over and over wishing I had done something different, that everything had gone another direction. I know I can’t change anything I did but I want you to know that I am sorry. For everything I did to you.” The boy still had a long way to go before he would ever really be okay, a lot of feelings about himself that would take time to erase but this was the biggest and hardest step he had taken. He almost wished @Sahalie was there to see it, to see how much she had helped him and how much he had grown simply because of her.

With sentimental boy as my nom de plume

(This post was last modified: Feb 16, 2017, 03:09 AM by Kino.)

Draven wanted to ask Kino how far he had been, where he had gone, everything that had happened to him after he left the Crest but the words would not come. Instead of pestering his brother with questions that were not even relevant; he was here now and that's what mattered, he gave the peace offering. They both knew without it needing to be said that this would be enough to wash everything clean, there was no more need for apologies or for finger pointing between them. What had happened had been a tragedy and what had become of their family was even worse. It was time to fix all of that now.

Kino may have taken the first few steps to close the gap between them but it was Draven who reached out to close the embrace. His brother was taller than him, but not dramatically so, they both would have towered over their mother had she still been alive. With a sigh that reached deep into his diaphragm the yearling let all the resentment and hurt he had been holding towards the man go, "It's okay Kino, I'm just glad you're safe." Stepping back with a laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood  the raven pelted Lagina grinned, "And so damn tall, who would have guessed you'd wind up bigger than me?" After all, as children the platinum pup had been the smallest of the litter of three.

The thought of Ari sent a pang through his chest but Draven did his best to ignore it, he had just gained one sibling back today and he shouldn't be selfish. He just wished that he knew that she was okay as he now did with Kino, he yearned to know what happened to his other silver brother, or the sister that he had never met. How had all of Minka's children ended up so scattered after her death? "So you eavesdropped on all of my girl problems, I think you owe it to me to tell me a little bit of what's been going on with you in the last year."

If I ever leave I could learn to miss you

Draven moved forward and pulled Kino into an embrace, his breath hitching and body freezing more a moment as he tried to process what was happening. Then he relaxed and allowed his head to turn and return his sibling’s embrace with a small sigh. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his, he actually physically felt lighter and he allowed a grin to come to his jaws. He laughed at the dark Lagina’s comment about his height a nod bobbing his head. “Yeah, surprised us all I guess. Who knew mom produced a family of giants. Ari is a fuckin’ bear. I think she’d kick both our asses if she still wasn’t such a pushover,” he mused, thinking back to his meeting with their other sibling.

His brows raised at the next question aimed toward his life since he’d left the Crest and they’d all been officially separated. He allowed himself to settle and began to tell him everything himself, everything about how Kova had just disappeared and he’d joined the Bend,changing his name in the process. How he’d gotten in a fight with another wolf to defend Hal and that’s how he’d gotten his scar, his feelings for Hal and her swearing that she didn’t need feelings after admitting that she’d almost admitted her love for another, about the split and living in the monadnock. Finally, about how he and Hal were going to start a pack and his meeting with Ari.

With sentimental boy as my nom de plume

Feel free to wrap up and fade in your next post unless they fight or something

Draven felt his brother tense at his touch but when he relaxed into the embrace he couldn't help the smile that settled upon his maw. He didn't know why had had gotten the courage to come visit mom, but now he knew, she had done this. She had always been so big on family and being together and protecting each other, even now there was no way it was a coincidence that they both came to the grave at this moment. Whether they liked each other or not Minka would always connect them, and anyone who knew her knew she didn't give up until she got what she wanted.

The mention of Ari felt like the wind got knocked out of him, and the easy smile that had appeared on his dark muzzle slowly faded away. He had made amends with one of his siblings, but he hadn't even thought of where his sister had gone after she left the Crest. His stomach dropped slightly, he had been so selfish, "You've seen Ari? Do you....Do you think she would want to see me?" The words were sad, no glimpse of hope within them as Draven knew what the answer would probably be; no.

Ki-Alastor's story was a lot to take in, but then that was what happened when you haven't seen your brother in more than a year. Nodding along at the major points of his story a smirk pulled at the side of his lips; most of this story revolved around a girl much like his own had. Draven and Alastor had always been two sides of the same coin even if neither one of them would ever want to admit it. He let him finish before chiming in with any input, "Do you think Sahalie has feelings for you even if she won't say them? If so you need to fight for her, you can't let this other guy run off with your girl without giving it all that you've got." Then he hesitated again, "Mom would be proud of you Alastor, and if you're ever looking for members I would be more than happy to contribute myself as another Leigh to your pack, if you'd have me of course."