Turtleback Lake air catcher

i think you would beat the moon in a pretty contest
and the moon just happened to be the very first thing that I missed
i was doing fine on my own and there wasn't much i lacked
but you've stolen my air catcher, and i don't know if i want it back

With the change of leadership in Whitestone the river wolves acquired a new member. While he was pleased to see the tawny healer in Kingsfall it also made XIX worry. He did not know what Lorcán’s motives were—why, out of all the packs in the Lore, he had sought out Hearthwood to join after leaving the monadnock. Healers were always welcome, along with hunters, and with the pack expecting three litters the extra paws and teeth were needed. The agouti was familiar with several of his packmates, so it made sense to Lachesis as to why he felt comfortable seeking out their borders.

He still couldn’t help but worry. XIX always worried.

Like most nights when he couldn’t sleep the ghost sought out the shores of the lake, taking comfort in the mirror-like surface of the water and the small pebbles between his toes. Aside from the bend in the river, the lake was where he felt most at home. The air was beginning to grow warmer as the seasons changed, despite winter’s relentless grip on the land. One more month and puppies would begin to arrive, fuelling the Lore with fresh blood. A wave of heirs and one night stands; wolves succumbed by the hormones the came with the first wave of spring. His ears twitched at the thought. Was that what had happened to him, too? This—fatherhood—had not worked out so well for Lachesis the first time around. His son had disappeared, trying to chase the fables that his milk-mother and the dragon had fed him, and his daughter had gone to bring him back. Weeks had passed, along with dozens of sleepless nights, and the twins had not yet returned to Hearthwood. XIX was beginning to fear they would never return. Perhaps it was him that had chased them away.

His lips tightened as he meandered down the north shore of the lake, his paws dragging behind him as the sun began to creep over the horizon line. He had slunk away moments before dawn erupted, chasing the remaining moonlight in a desperate attempt to sooth his mind. Lachesis fretted constantly over the three mother-to-be’s.

Would Hearthwood be able to support three litters?

Would they all survive?

Would the mothers survive?

His heart dropped at the thought. The ghost did not know if he could handle anymore loss. The river wolves had already gone through so much; there was only so much tragedy they cope with.

A sigh shook his chest as his pace slowed, peridot’s falling away from the stars that lingered in the sky. The thoughts still remained. No matter how hard he tried to outrun them, they still followed, biting at his heels… consuming him, devouring him.

(This post was last modified: Apr 06, 2017, 02:26 AM by Lachesis.)

stick with those who stick with you

She was forcing herself to move around, to not fall in the habit of remaining lethargic because she figured it wouldn’t do her any good in the long run. She still enjoyed her walks, giving her a small break from the evident worries of how her litter, and that of both of the Baranski mothers, were to survive with the numbers they had. There was a new male in the ranks, but Lilya had never met him, so she couldn’t be certain what his work ethic was like. She couldn’t sleep again, a habit that had returned not long after Lachesis had explained just what changes had started to occur after their night together.

“Ya know, m’startin’ ta think that th’lake is actually a pool of yer worries n’ ya just come ‘ere ta lay ‘em out.” She couldn’t help the soft tease that dropped from her maw when she saw the stark figure standing near the water, looking around with that seemingly constant worry etched onto his face. She’d like to think she was getting pretty good at finding him at what was probably his worst times… but she really couldn’t help it. The sparrow carefully crept up alongside him, nipping near his ear in the process.

She certainly wasn’t ready to be a mother – she had no idea how she was going to pull through this and a part of her was terrified of what was going to come in the coming months, but she knew she’d have to figure out. Besides, she wasn’t alone in this – Inna was a first time mother as well, and Kisla knew what she was doing, and so did Lach… at least she hoped that he did. “What’s on yer mind?”

The blue-eyed sparrow was not wrong. He frequented the shores of the lake to dump his thoughts and his worries out into the open; to analyze them and attempt to diffuse them, but he was seldom successful. Since arriving in the Lore he had shed his nervous skin and stutter, growing more comfortable in his lanky frame and his new surroundings. Despite appearing more composed and confident it was not how he felt, most days. He constantly fretted that he was not doing good enough—that he was letting those around him down. Why else would he have chased away three females and his children. His lips twitched at the thought, frown deepening.

As she came up beside him Lachesis leaned his shoulder against hers, his nose pressing against her cheek to seek the comfort that only she could provide. It seemed that the sparrow had always appeared whenever Lachesis was drowning in his own thoughts. Perhaps his worrying was a siren call to the second, luring her out of Hearthwood to poke at his brain. Not that he minded, for her presence was always welcome.

He was pleased to see her moving around, but he would be lying if it did not add to his never-ending list of worries. The attack from the Whitestone wolf still stuck out in his mind; he did not want Lilya to stay too far while he stomach swelled. Lachesis knew that the veteran was capable of handling herself—she had done so against the white wolf—but he worried that, as her condition grew, she was not going to be able to defend herself the way she normally would. XIX would never voice this thoughts aloud, though, for he did not want to offend the sparrow; for her to think that pregnancy made her weak. “Welcome to Lake Worry.” he mused in a delayed response to her first comment, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Rather than have all his thoughts weigh his shoulders down he dumped them here, into the still water, to feast on later. Pull apart, dissect, and hopefully abandon once resolved. If they were resolved. “How are you feeling?” He asked softly, ignoring her question purposely as his ears fell halfway, his curious peridots studying the blue-eyed sparrow. His biggest worry was that Lilya felt like their … situation was a mistake. It had been unplanned and was the result of a whirlwind of emotions (and hormones), but Lachesis did not think it was a mistake. Truthfully, he could not think of anyone better to raise children with. 

(This post was last modified: Apr 12, 2017, 01:45 PM by Lachesis.)

stick with those who stick with you

If the woman was going to be completely honest with herself, she had no idea where she stood with Lachesis, and she avoided the topic like the plague for fear of hearing an answer she did not want to hear. She was practically petrified at the thought of being told that this, their situation, was a mistake because this draw to him still wasn’t subsiding and she didn’t want to lose one of her best friends and most trusted confidants. Hell, she’d even told him about her sister… and that was something she’d never managed to tell anyone about… at least not the truth behind what had happened to her.

His response, albeit delayed, mixed with his physical greeting caused a grin to grow on her features, somewhat relaxed and not completely nervous like she normally felt. She felt like she could always be relaxed around him. Lake Worry had a nice ring to it, even if his fretting did make her curious. “M’feelin’ alright… pretty tired but ah’ve been pretty tired for weeks now.” She offered with a soft yawn to make her point. She hated the fact that she was always feeling lethargic. “But don’t think yer gonna avoid th’question this time, Lach.” She accused with a soft nudge as she repeated the question from earlier. “What’s tuggin’ at yer crown this time?” She knew from experience that silent worrying never got anyone anywhere.

The presence of the blue-eyed sparrow was always comforting, especially when the siren call of Lake Worry called to him, starving for more troubled thoughts and self-doubts. He cared about her, more than he had ever cared for another, but the words hung on the tip of his tongue. She was already carrying his children, but the fear of rejection—the fear of Lilya fleeing Hearthwood with the cubs—kept those words where they were. The last three wolves he had opened up to had disappeared, without a goodbye or an explanation to soothe his mind.

A frown threatened to break across his pale features but he remained composed, his chartreuse gaze focused on the sparrow at his side. Instead, as she spoke, a sheepish—almost apologetic—grin rolled onto his lips. Even though her wounds were healing from the fight Lachesis was still worried that something had happened inside, something that the pair could not detect from merely observing. He hated smothering her, for it had not gone over well the first time he had attempted it, but he felt like this was a more justifiable reason for keeping a watchful eye on her. As long as she said she was doing fine, and that there was no unusual discomfort, Lachesis was content. For the most part.

“Half way there,” he mused with a soft laugh, his peridots quickly returning to the still surface of the lake as though he had been scolded. “Sorry,” he muttered sheepishly as he glanced out of the corner of his eye at her, his grin still painted effortlessly across his dark lips.

As she spoke once more his smile slowly faded, his paws shifting uncomfortably beneath him. They were close—her swelling sides were proof of that—so there was no reason for him to keep his thoughts from her. If they were going to parents they should be honest with each other… right? His ears twitched. “I, uh.” he started, not looking at her as a sigh rattled his chest, “I-I worry I failed with the twins. I-I don’t want to do the s-same with you.” His voice grew quiet at the end, his pale sonars flattening against the back of his skull as he refused to look at her. 

stick with those who stick with you

Lilya’s fears were similar to that of the ghost beside her… being told that it was just the draw of the season, that there was nothing there, that she was nothing… it was why she never brought it up. She was afraid of the response she would garner from him, and she preferred to live in the uncertainty than with the feeling of dread forever. Above that, there was them raising children together and what it would do to those kids if Lachesis didn’t feel for her what she started to realize she felt for him… she avoided the topic like the plague, and he’d thankfully never brought it up… maybe because he thought she already knew where they stood.

The apology, the nerves he felt… something was off, and she knew that. She didn’t know when she’d started to know him better than she knew herself, but it’d happened. When he admitted it, a stutter to his words that reminded her of when she’d first met him… of when she’d stuttered like that, a frown found her features and a surge of protectiveness… maybe over him, or herself, or just some sort of newly developed maternal instinct kicking itself into high gear. “Yer not gonna fail me… n’ya didn’t fail the twins, Lach.” She murmured softly , leaning down to try and place her head between the water and where his hung. “Ya kept them alive… e’rey wolf ‘as a streak in ‘em where they need to get away from home… it doesn’t mean ya failed.” That was what was bothering him? He was afraid of failing her? Did he really not know?

His fear and anxiety gnawed hungrily at the positive words that the sparrow sputtered into the air between them; tearing them apart and screaming lies! lies! lies! into the dark chambers of his mind. The ghost so desperately wanted to believe that she spoke the truth—that he had not failed his children or driven them away—but he was drowning in his own negativity. “Kyrios hates me, Val,” he muttered in a defeated tone, his ears still swept back against his skull. “He w-was angry with me for exiling Kjors because I didn’t get to explain the situation to him before it h-happened. And A-Atropos… I should have gone after her. I sh-should have looked,” his voice trailed off as he spoke, brows narrowed darkly. He was angry at them, for leaving, and angry at himself, for not bringing them home. Lachesis understood that wolves did not always belong in the pack they were born into—aside from the Baranski children in Hearthwood, they were all wandering individuals. If his son had sought him out before leaving XIX would have been more understanding. But he had left to seek out the dragon and his poisoned fables… that felt more like a personal attack against him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled again as he struggled to regain his composure, his shoulders rolling as he (attempted) to dismiss his troubled thoughts. “I don’t want to dump all of this on you. That’s what Lake Worry is for.” He managed to throw a sheepish grin onto his dark lips as he motioned toward the body of water before them. She was already carrying the weight of their children; she did not need any of his own personal woes weighing her down. He was not sure if he felt better after confiding in the blue-eyed sparrow—or worse. His head was a jumbled mess of thoughts. Without thinking he leaned forward to press his forehead against her shoulder, seeking comfort in her warm fur and familiar scent. 

stick with those who stick with you

A young deer has been separated from the rest of its herd. Hunt Opportunity

Herp I fail @Lachesis

She frowned at his words, offering a soft nudge of his scruff in an attempt to provide comfort as he vented. What he’d done, was rid the pack of a man who’d do anything to get his claws on the Baranski legacy… he did what he had to do, and it was those tough choices that had made him who he was. He had to look out for all of them, and she offered a soft hum in return. “Ya did what ya had ta do, Lach… Who knows what Kjors woulda done ‘ad he stayed… he’ll come around eventually. He’s prolly just worried ‘bout Karina and Bennet… ‘cause they left with him.” She’d raised him after his birth mother died… how could he not feel upset on her abandoning him like that?

Lilya still couldn’t understand how Karina could have been so selfish… but that was beside the point, and her own opinion. He apologized, and she gave a soft snort, an amused chuckle. “Yer not th’only one who dumps their worries ‘ere… sometimes it’s better fer someone else ta ‘ear ‘em.” She couldn’t help but smile when he pressed his forehead against her shoulder. “It’ll all work out in th’end… that’s somethin’ Ah’m a firm believer in.”

we can wrap dis one up soon? :B <3 @Lilya

Her touch comforted him but it was not enough to completely subdue his thoughts, for they still clawed desperately at the back of his mind, sinking deeper with each swipe. The ghost wanted to believe her words—that his son would return eventually—but he couldn’t. Not when he felt so guilty.

He just needed to know that both Kyrios and Atropos were okay, wherever they were. That they had found comfort elsewhere… that they still loved him. Although XIX wanted to see them return to Hearthwood he would respect their decision to stay wherever it was they were, for he understood that the river may not be the right place for them. He just did not want his only son to be angry with him… not anymore.

“I hope so,” he mumbled in response, his chartreuse gaze still fixated on the still water before them. The healer knew how close Kyrios had been to his milk-mother and her daughter. The Aegina had cared for them as though they were related by blood and was fiercely protective over them. Perhaps he was attempting to persuade them to return to Hearthwood… unlikely, but Lachesis was holding onto the idea. The one-eyed dragon had fallen. Where else did they have to go now? His lips twitched at the thought but he dismissed it, his peridot’s returning to the sparrow as she spoke once more.

“Lake Worry listens to me,” he retorted, feigning offence as he cracked a lop-sided smirk. The ghost had always been good at keeping his thoughts to himself, for he never wanted to feel like a burden. His worries were his own; he did not want to share them with others unless absolutely necessary. He even felt guilty for sharing these concerns with Lilya, now, for she did not need to hear them. “We’ll see,” he mused in response, his forehead pressing into her shoulder once more. 

stick with those who stick with you