Charred Ash Draw up on melancholy hill

For anyone. <3 Time for little Lunie to go home. Set at present day. :) Sorry I didn't make more of my stay but life was icky!

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

She was not the meek, under-muscled pup that had come tottering in, in Reiko's tow, anymore. Her hips and shoulders had filled out with stringy muscles, made for jogging across half the earth, though she still looked liked a right mess. Clumps of thick winter fur hung out from her coat, thinner patches of fine, shiny silver visible in the holes it left. No matter how much she rolled or rubbed against trees, the damn shed hairs wouldn't come out entirely, and she was left looking rather mottled. She had never thought herself vain, but she had been very self-conscious about it, until she saw that the rest of the Draw wolves looked the same, to varying degrees.

She wouldn't go so far as to say that she was transformed, or cured, or that there was a new hardiness to her, or some kind of sharp glint in her eyes—she was skittish, she was anxious, she was so eager to please that the idea of letting anyone down was worthy of her being murdered, except death was too good for her so she had to toil on. But making mistakes had been..easier here, somehow. Screwing up hadn't been like someone hammering a nail into her skull and tying her to the mountaintop for birds to pick clean. She didn't think it was the fault of the Cove wolves, just that it was something wrong in her and being on the mountain made it worse, a conclusion drawn from how she had felt during her stay in the Wildwood.

She was still little Lunie, but her body was rapidly changing to look more like a yearling's. Strong, clean legs carried her still narrow frame, but there was strength in her movements. Not certainty, but raw, pure strength—not a lot of it, either, but a marked change from before. It wasn't like she had done a lot of stuff to get stronger, but she had practiced chasing deer on her own. She hadn't caught any, because she was only one wolf, but it had been good practice and, much to her surprise, rather fun to run helter-skelter between the trees, veering around them at high speed. And there were a lot of trees to dodge, the Wildwood was trying to grow over but nothing was large enough to blot out the sun and starve the plants below yet.

Once the sickness, which had set in after her first week in the Draw, had passed, she had been out and about, fishing the Creek, exploring—not too far, just a day or so away at most—and chasing deer. It had left her body stronger, leaner, somehow.

And yet, as she stood upon one of the ridges around the Draw, she felt dread uncoil in her stomach. Dread, at having to tell these nice wolves that she was leaving, not sure if she had properly made up for all that they had given her, or if leaving would be the best way to repay that debt. And not just that, but dread at returning the mountain, to Moonshadow, the disappointment everyone had in her for her behavior towards the black wolf—dread, of the expectations on how she should behave. Dread at the very mountains, their treacherous slopes and dead-drops, dread at how..confined the world was. She had though the mountain large. She had been intimidated by the world beyond, and how huge it must be if the mountain was only a small part of it—but away from the Dire's shadow, the vastness of the world had been..freeing, not frightening. She had roamed for a day away from the Draw and there was still so much more to see, while a day on the mountain led you into the foothills or the Riddle Heights, or the peak itself, terrain that was dangerous and that she did not feel confident on.

She stared down at the space between the ridges. It wasn't home, because she had felt like an intruder, and like she'd been allowed to stay because it was Reiko who had brought her, but.. maybe it was unkind of her to think they would have turned her away, if she had stumbled onto their borders on her own. She bit her lower lip. Regardless of anything and everything, she was strong enough of body to climb back up to the Lost Lake, and if she put it off any longer, the dread she felt at returning might overpower her and she'd never go.

Biting back the anxiety and fear, she tipped her head back, and let her youthful, clear voice call out for Triell, and the wolves of the Draw. She wasn't sure who was the right one to talk to about it.

The days of staying in the draw and not getting some kind of exploring done were over for Leotie.  She was more than happy to be getting back out hunting in the Wildwood and surrounding areas but she has heeded Sven's order to stay home until her heat had passed.  With more idle time she'd had a lot to think about but now as she trotted through the Wildwood the hare lifelessly hanging from her jaws she pushed those thoughts aside. She could revisit those thoughts later for now all she wanted to do was catch up on her exploring and hunting.

With Zerxes she'd been able to jump back in by hunting the boar, she was still proud of how she'd handled that.  It didn't even matter that she'd ended up covered in blood and more.  A quick dip in the creek had cleaned her coat and whatnot didn't get she was able to get herself.

Leotie had been aware of the Fallen Tree Cove pup in their midst though she hadn't had the chance to speak with her.  The agouti was sorry for that and hoped to get a chance to speak to her now she was feeling more sociable.  She had just crossed the border when the girls call went up through the territory.  It seemed now would be her chance to rectify not having spoken to Lunette.  She quickly dropped her catch in the cache before going to meet up with the girl.

“Hello Lunette, what can I do for you?” She asked the girl cheerfully as she approached.  Leotie had also noticed the change in the girl since she'd been with them and thought the Draw might be good for her.

~Table by Switch

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

Her heart was pounding in her chest—a relentless stampede, as if by beating hard and fast enough it could come loose from its tethers in her chest and gallop away into the world, leaving her body and all the fears tied to it behind. She sometimes thought about death, imagined it as a blanket of uniform black, sort of.. warm and cozy as it pulled you into oblivion, like a never-ending sleep. It didn't frighten her. It seemed.. comforting, even, but never, ever did she dare to reach out for it.

Instead, she was stuck in a dangerously alive body, hot heart, hot blood, adrenaline until she felt sick with it. Her legs were trembling as she waited, nose quivering, ears flitting, eyes glazed over and not taking the surroundings in. To call for the kind pack which had housed her.. did she have a right to ask for any of them to come? Should she have waited until she came across any of them? She licked her lips. Her mouth was dry and tasted of fear. And.. and what if they thought she hadn't done enough to warrant them helping her home? She was almost a yearling; shouldn't she be able to do that by herself? Ismena wandered into her thoughts, another stab at her heart.

But one came, though, climbing up the ridge to stand with Lunette. She was young, but not a child, agouti with pale blue eyes, something Lunette had grown accustomed to on the mountain and did not realize was rather rare. She had always seemed like a nice wolf, but Lunette had been too scared to talk to her, but now—now she kind of had to, because Triell was nowhere in sight, nor had he called out to say he was coming, and neither had Reiko. Could she leave without saying goodbye to either of them?

"Hi Leotie," she replied, shyly, her voice quiet and her ears folded back on her head, tail limp between her legs. "I..." Her voice failed her, her jaws worked soundlessly, and she pressed her eyes shut. I want to go home was what she had prepared to say, but she couldn't get the words past her teeth. It wasn't that she.. oh, fuck, she didn't know what she wanted. She wanted to be with Kajika. She wanted to see her mother and father and tell them she was alive, and doing good.

But she didn't want to be on the mountain.

You have to, she told herself, kicking herself mentally. It's where you belong. It's were you should be. It's where they want you to be. She thought of the mountain air as she inhaled the Wildwood. It took all of her will to not start sobbing. "I.. I think I can go home now," she managed to get out in a frail voice. "B-but.. I don't know if I can go, without saying good-bye to Triell.. and thanking him for all you've done for me."

There is a family of deer nearby. Hunt Opportunity

When she'd heard Lunette’s call The agouti woman hadn’t wasted time to gonna find out what the girl wanted. She also thought it would be a good time to talk with her and let her know she wasn't unfriendly or unwelcoming. Also she wanted to let her know that she was more than happy to help her with anything she might need during her time in the draw. It was the least she could do since she'd been so distant from the pack in the last week's, she'd thought it best in her condition. It kept her from saying it doing anything that she might regret later since she quickly learned that her heat was not a to e she was thinking clearly.

She was glad to be back to her old self and feeling more normal. Since her heat had ended she'd moved back to the communal den and gotten back to a more normal routine. All that time she had spent with nothing to do had driven her nearly mad. Leotie liked to keep busy, she always had once she had learned how life was lived in a pack. What she was most happy about was the fact she'd learned to hunt something new but she doubted it would be the same situation every time. It wasn't the only thing applying what she had learned with other types of prey to what she was hunting was something she felt was a good thing to do when hunting the bigger prey.

When she found the girl she greeted her easily and offered a smoke as she too was greeted. The agouti worried there might be something wrong with the way Lunette was presenting herself, “Is everything alright,” she asked brows furrowed as she came closer to Lunette, “I would be more than happy to talk about it with you.” She didn't know all of the details of what the cove girl had been through since she'd gotten lost from there but she didn't mind listening. Though if lunette was anything like Leotie knew she wouldn't share everything right away. The agouti could tell there was something on the girl's mind.

She wondered if they didn't hung then there might be something else they could do to help her feel more comfortable. Then maybe the could talk girl to girl and it would make the silver female to feel more relaxed. The agouti was sure talking would help after all it had always helped her when she needed to get something off her chest.

As it was Lunette took care of it by elaborating on what it was that was bothering her. Leotie nodded, “I’m sure your family and pack miss you. If you think it's time for you to return to them it probably is.” She didn't blame the youngster for wanting to go home especially if it was where she felt she belonged. “I see,” Lunette had expressed wanting to say goodbye​ to Triell and thanking him for all he and the pack had done, Leotie nodded again to show she understood. “I suppose that depends on how badly you want to go. The way I see it is you can stay and wait for him or you can leave and not say anything or I could give him a message for you.” Those were the suggestions that she'd laid out for Lunette to consider, “I do think that he would appreciate you saying goodbye to him and thanking him though,” she offered gently.

~Table by Switch

(This post was last modified: Apr 18, 2017, 04:32 PM by Leotie.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

Could everyone just stop being so kind to her? It was breaking her, and she was threatening to come apart under it—to explode into the tiny pieces she was, only held together by the fragile tenacity of her skin. She was a broken creature clutching the pieces of herself close to her chest, but all this.. this kindness was coming dangerously close to having them notice. She struggled to present a sane, if shy, front. She didn't have anything to blame it on anymore. She'd been exhausted when Reiko found her, she had been forgiven that, but here..? Now..? She swallowed. It was hard.

Part of her had hoped Leotie would bare her fangs and say no, you get to stay here, forever, you're our prisoner until you've paid us back. It would've been out of character considering everything she had seen from this pack, but it would've been so nice—it would've taken the terrible weight off her shoulders, and the decision out of her paws.

But no. It was her life. She had to keep calling the shots. She had to keep living it.

"Mmh," she murmured again, eyes flitting along their paws and up Leotie's pale tan legs and then down again. Her heart was shaking in her throat. She closed her eyes and drew a deep, deep breath. She could do this. She had to. It was what everyone expected of her. She did her best to merge with the pain and the confusion and the panic, and swallowed. "I.. I want to.. to thank him, but, I.." if I don't leave now, I'll never go. "I guess we c-can wait a little while..."

When Lunette informed her that she was ready to go home Leotie didn't think much of it instead feeling that if the cove wolf felt it was time for her to go home then she should.  There had been a couple of times while she was in the bend where they’d had wolves from other packs stay within their borders and leave when they were ready to go.  She didn't see why it would be any different for Lunette now since she had recovered, she didn't really have any reason to stay beside not wanting to go. Leotie of course would hate to see the girl go especially since she hadn't really had a chance to get to know her a little better but she wasn't one to stop someone doing what they needed to do.

Lunette wasn't sure about it she should leave without saying goodbye and thank you to Triell or not. So Leotie had given the girl her take on the situation or rather she laid her options out in front of her so that she could consider them and make a decision on what she wanted to do. Lunette was a big girl and could make this kind of decision the agouti was sure of that.

There were a few options for the girl to consider so when she'd finished Leotie remained quiet to allow her to think about them.  Lunette might want to go home but it was also important that she finish everything before she leaves.  Leotie knew how important it was to make sure that there was closure before going.

When Lunette finally seemed to have made a decision about what she would like to do Leotie nodded. “We certainly can wait if you're sure that's what you would like to do.” She didn't want to push the girl into anything she wasn't ready for but Leotie was curious. ”How long would you like to wait for him to come?” She asked gently. The agouti would wait all day with Lunette if that was what she wanted.  Since she wasn't sure what Triell was up to she didn't know how long it would take for him to arrive.

~Table by Switch

(This post was last modified: May 15, 2017, 04:44 AM by Leotie.)

Please see Kajika's OOC profile for OOC preferences, thank you

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

Her breath was hot in her lungs, and fluttered like a butterfly in the back of her throat. It was hard to breathe normally, to pull them in without gasping—in her chest, her heart was thundering, threatening to come undone from its tethers and disappearing through her sternum. Realistically, she knew it couldn't, but with each beat she still felt it slipping closer and closer to some kind of terror-free freedom, away from the confines and complexities of her body. Wouldn't that be nice? She'd be dead and her heart would be free.

“We certainly can wait if you're sure that's what you would like to do.” She didn't even see Leotie's nod, too busy staring at the forest and fighting her rising panic; it clawed its way up, until she wasn't sure what she even was seeing anymore, a kind of blue-out, hypoxic blur. Her breathing was speeding up.

No, no. No. She bit down. Forced herself to hold it. How long? Until my resolve breaks. Until I disappear. Until— She let her breath out. It trembled only a little. She drew in another, and while she held it, contemplated what to say. Staying was a risk, each second too long, and meaning too much. If she endured too many of them.. how could she ever turn herself away from this life, which had suddenly landed in her lap and been good to her?

She didn't deserve it.

"A.. a couple of hours, maybe?" Or was that too long? Too short? She had hoped Triell was in the area.. and if he wasn't.. it could be days. She couldn't wait days. She could, hopefully, endure a handful of hours, and if he didn't show up, leave a message with Leotie and still get her sorry self on the mountain—the only awkward thing remaining was spending said hours with Leotie, because until they were far, far away from this safe place, she did not want to come out of her shell. It was too dangerous, and Leotie couldn't know how she felt about this. No one could know.