Drooping Willows but i'm afraid

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

Asha hadn't really expected him to respond as positively as he did, and while the small "I really like you, Asha," hurt - how could it not? - it was better than any alternative would have been. She pulled back from him and studied his face carefully as he explained himself, and then told her of his loyalty to his pack now. That, too, wasn't a problem in the silver woman's eyes.  

"That's okay," she told him quickly, in reference to the I like you part. Her heart gave a soft thud in her chest, and it reminded her that she was, in fact, quite terrified of this entire situation. She was out of her element, and she had no clue what she was supposed to say or do. "You don't have to love me if you don't want to. That doesn't mean... that doesn't mean that I can't love you though, does it?" she asked, turning her concerned gaze up toward him. "I would never ask you to leave your pack. I don't even want you to have divided loyalties. So, you don't have to worry about me or the puppies."

It was true that most of what prompted Asha to admit her feelings so quickly was that Eskil was the first kind wolf she'd ever really come across. The monochromatic woman had no way of telling what was simply liking someone and what was real love. She didn't even know how soon you were supposed to say those three words, but in her mind, she meant them, and she wasn't going to take them back.

"Of course not," He said, turning his head to meet her in the eye as she shifted her own worried ice blue gaze towards him. "I mean, what you feel is what you feel," Eskil told her simply. He wasn't about to tell her that any of her feelings were wrong or that she shouldn't or couldn't feel the way he felt. He wasn't privy to her own thought processes, and for all he knew, maybe she really did love him. 

"I dont have to," he chuffed, "But I will, you know." How could he not worry about her?

"What are you going to do now?" He asked her, trying to keep his tone neutral but it was impossible to keep the worry from seeping into his deep green eyes. She wasn't in a pack, that much was clear as he breathed the scent of wilderness that seeped from her coat. Was she just going to try to take care of herself and the lives that were growing in her belly on her own? Or --as much as he hated to think it and as much as it ashamed him that the very thought irritated him-- was the father in any way going to step up for this? 

(This post was last modified: Apr 26, 2017, 01:52 AM by Eskil.)

The colorless woman nodded slowly as he spoke, absorbing the information that it was okay for her to feel the way she did, and that he wasn't going to ask her not to. She was not aware that the love she was experiencing was more of a crush mixed with admiration, possibly heading toward love. But having lived the life she had, it was easy to hypostatize the emotions as love.

Eskil went on to say that he would worry about her whether he had to or not, and Asha offered him a smile. "It won't do you any good, you know," she told him truthfully. "Worry accomplishes nothing. Just don't think about it. Keep busy with other things." It was likely that he had a lot to do, now that he was in a pack. It seemed logical that his mind would be occupied with the tasks of daily life.

What was she going to do now? It wasn't like Eirian was really in the picture, and she doubted any packs would take in a pregnant mother. She waited thoughtfully for the words to come. "I..." she began slowly, brows knitting together and then smoothing out as the robotic side of her took over, offering a solution to her problem. "I will take responsibility and care for them on my own." She could certainly give birth and nourish puppies that she had conceived. It was only right, for her to take responsibility for her own actions. She'd seen women do it before - she just needed a den and food for a while, until the puppies could survive on their own. Then she...

She'd find something. Her life had just gotten far more complicated, but like everything that had ever been thrown at her before, she would just take it in stride and hope that things turned out for the best.

Eskil's mouth quirked in a wry expression at her advice. Just don't worry about it and hope he could keep his mind otherwise occupied? He exhaled sharply through his nose. He already worried about her enough, and was unlikely to stop, especially now that he knew she was expecting. It simply wasn't that easy to forget about those he cared about. "Easier said than done," He sighed.

Her answer to his question seemed to take some effort, which did not exactly assure Eskil. Whether she didn't want to tell him, or she hadn't considered it yet he couldn't tell. Her voice was mechanical, and her plans oh so painfully vague, leaving him with more questions than answers.

"On your own?" He asked, shocked, with his face scrunched into a wince. "Where is the man responsible in this?" He rumbled, holding back a growl and fought to keep his voice down. How some men could create problems like this and leave the woman alone to fend for herself, he could never understand. Had the wolf partly responsible for Asha's current state simply left her after the act? He hadn't wanted to ask, and the less he knew about the male the better. He didn't like to think about the wolf she pushed him away for, but it disgusted him that this soon-to-be father was apparently nowhere in the picture.

He seemed surprised at her statement, and Asha knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. It was easy to tell he was angry - probably at the man she'd slept with in order to conceive the puppies. She wasn't exactly angry at Eirian - he'd seemed happy about the puppies, but then had just vanished, only appearing sporadically throughout the pregnancy.

"I've been doing it on my own most of the time anyway," she asserted, glancing away from his pinched face as he continued on to ask about the man she was with. She doubted there was any harm in him knowing the actual father's name, and there was no reason for her to protect the russet man. She shook her head slowly. "We ran into each other the day after I was so cruel to you," she began, still unable to look up and meet his gaze. "His name is Eirian. Eirian Asurn. He wasn't unkind to me, and... I'm not sure what I was thinking." God, how she'd wished it had been Eskil, from the moment after to this point. Even more so that he couldn't have pups - then she wouldn't be in this mess at all. "I don't blame him for not sticking around. And it's not like he's been entirely gone. It just..." It just would have been nice to have a bit of support. That was all.

But there was no way she was going to admit to that.

So, the young woman cleared her throat and nodded her head decisively. "There's no reason to have expected him to stay, anyway. It's not like he wanted the pups, either," she reasoned, trying to force herself into believing that was true. "So, yes. On my own. Unless you-" She cut herself off, biting her tongue in the process. She did not want to divide his loyalties to his pack. "On my own." The colorless wolf nodded again, more firmly and sharply this time. She could do this.

Eskil's blood ran cold as she spoke the man's name, the fur along his neck involuntarily standing on end. He dearly wished that he had misheard her, but sitting so close as he was Asha's voice was as clear as day. Asurn, Asurn, Asurn. What in his life could those damned Asurns not ruin? Now it did not surprise him that this was an Asurn's doing. They'd already taken his family from him, and now Asha, too? The odds were truly not in his favor. 

Normally Eskil was a rapt listener, but as Asha continued her voice was only a distant background hum to the grinding of his teeth. His paws flexed in the snow, claws digging through and puncturing into the frozen earth. To think that she now carried Asurns in her belly. It was not her fault, she couldn't know... but it still unsettled him. Now it made sense why the father had chosen not to be in the picture. It was par for the course for that dishonorable lot. As long as their pure lineage was spread, what did it matter if an innocent woman suffered for it?

Eskil did not mask his distaste, his pale lips curling back and evergreen eyes narrowed to slits. He was not looking at her, but rather out into the forest before them, his eyes unfocused. "Those Asurns are a foul lot." He ground out through clenched teeth. "On your own is probably better than having anything to do with that rat. I wouldn't be surprised if he was no different than the rest of them." He did not know Eirian specifically, and maybe, maybe, the surname was just an unfortunate coincidence. But given the male's care, or rather, neglect of the woman he had impregnated so far did not leave Eskil with a favorable impression. 

Asha frowned when he seemed to change mood holus-bolus. He was no longer looking at her, and her ears pressed to her skull uncomfortably. She had no clue what could have caused it, until he opened his mouth to say his piece. Apparently, Eskil had known Asurns in his past - not that Asha would have ever known that. Apparently, however, they were a foul lot, which would make a lot more sense that he'd be scarce for her pregnancy, and only there for the... well...

The other stuff.

The silver female had no clue how to respond to the criticism of the family name. She didn't know any other Asurns, and Eirian had not been particularly bad to her... he just wasn't around that often. But Eskil was angry. She wondered, for a moment, if he was angry at her, or perhaps the puppies in her stomach. Her tail wound itself around her hock and she took a slow step back, understanding that Eskil wouldn't harm her or the budding life she held, but the instinctual urge to protect herself and her unborns was strong.

Fortunately, the puppies gave her a way out of the angry conversation, and started to wriggle against her swollen flanks. She waved her tail once and looked up at Eskil with a tiny, hopeful smile. "Um," she began carefully, trying to catch his eyes. "The-um, the puppies are kicking." The colorless wolf stepped forward then, posture still low but approachable. "Would you like to feel?"

Maybe he shouldn't have expected any sort of response to his denouncement of the Asurns. After all, there was little she could do now to change that fact that a litter of them now gestated in her belly. He sighed, trying to release some of the pent up rage he felt and gladly letting Asha change the subject. He could just pretend everything was normal, ignore his grudges, just for a few moments if only for her sake. "Oh... sure," He nodded, a smile that was at first forced before it shifted into something more genuine. 

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