Grizzly Hollow What Unbearable News

It's the 20th already here. Rook and Veho are the only ones allowed particularity close to and/or in the den!

It had been a few hours already since her first contractions struck her yet still, even as she paced close to her den, Amaryllis knew there still could be some time before the pups actually arrived. It didn't stop her from wincing or letting out small whines when the pain struck her. At first, she had thought nothing of them. They had been few and far between towards the start and despite being restless, figured she still had some time to gather some moss and other things to line the den with. But slowly, over the course of several hours, they had worsened. It was only then did she realised that she had to get to her birthing den right away.

Once letting out two small calls - one to @Rook and to @Veho, to let them know what was going on - Amaryllis had gone right to and stuck close to the bear den, ducking in and out intermediately to tidy up and just overall pacing as she waited. And waited and waited.

Just take deep breaths and keep calm  she tried to tell herself, they'll come out soon and they'll be perfectly fine. Taking deep breath and releasing it before a shudder came over her as another contraction hit, with another whine escaping her. Where was Rook? Where was anyone? Despite continually telling herself she was fine and that everything was fine, her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. A deep seated fear filled her. What if something went wrong and she couldn't call for help? What if something bad happened to her pups? She didn't want to be alone if that happened.

Wincing at the thought, Amaryllis circled around her den for what felt like the millionth time that evening. No, everything was fine. She thought as she ducked back into the den, nudging at the bits of moss, furs and the cedar bark that Rook had left for her around, once again 'tidying' the den up before settling on the soft floor. Everything would be fine. Like her last litter, her pups would come out healthy and squealing. Nothing bad would go happen.

Yet shortly after laying down, something familiar told her to start pushing and so she started pushing. The pain rippled over her flank but she tried to ignore it, concentrating on just doing.  Everything would be fine once the pups were out of her and curled by her side.

But a horrible dread over took her as the first one finally slid out. It was barely moving, barely breathing as she instinctively reached to pull it - no, it was a him - close to her belly. Her little boy.

No, please please. She wanted to scream but instead used her tongue to roughly start cleaning the boy up, as if she could strengthen his breathing by helping him. Her instincts told her it had to work. By the Stars above, it had to. He couldn't leave her, not now, not like this.

But the little boy, as he came out, barely made a fuss as his little body drew its last breath. All Amaryllis wanted to do was break.

"No no, please darling. Please stay with me." Begging the newborn, Amaryllis truly just wished to scream right then as tears gathered in her eyes. But she couldn't dwell on what to do any further, as another contraction rippled through her and even in her grief, she knew she had to push. And holding her first born close, push she did.

As much as it hurt and no matter how much she just wished to fold over her son and cry, her other children needed her. They had to be given the chance she hadn't been able to give their elder brother.

It wasn't long before two other little wiggling bodies, all clean, joined the first. Yet unlike him, they were squirming against her stomach, little whines escaping their mouths as they latched on and begun to feed. Relief had filled her heart as the two, a pale girl and a darker boy lay safe in her curled embrace.

But her heart sank as her eyes settled into her first child, wrapped up in her front paws and as quiet and as still as he had been shortly after emerging into the world.

"Please," With tears clinging to her cheeks, she nearly choked on her words, once again going over him roughly with her tongue for a few minutes, as if it would work. Deep down, she knew it wouldn't.  But he had to try didn't she? What kind of mother would she be otherwise, if she didn't at least try?  "Please, just wake up, you have to meet your brother and sister. Please."

(This post was last modified: May 20, 2017, 12:08 PM by Amaryllis.)

At least this one called.
 
It allowed Veho to properly prepared, at least, giving a short bark to summon his new apprentice to the medical den.  Having a properly trained healer (not currently fulfilling leadership roles) would be a great relief, not only for himself, but for the rest of the pack who constantly had to wonder were he was.  Besides, it wasn’t as if he’d suddenly forget everything he’d learned until then.  There would just be increasing their resources.
 
“We need sweet grass and hellebore,” he told Oisin, pulling out two of the larger oak leaves.  They weren’t good for much – but they made great packaging materials, and made it much easier to tote other plants around the territory.  Amaryllis probably didn’t want slobber all over the medicines, anyways.  Once he and the youth each had a small parcel, Veho set out to the woman’s chosen birthing den, halting a few paces away.  He set down his bundle and lifted his nose; Rook wasn’t here yet.  He barked once for the masked man, and then shifted closer to the den; an unwanted scent met his nose.  The wolf frowned and hunkered down on his belly, making himself visible to the female inside.  “It’s Veho,” he rumbled quietly.  “We’ve brought you things from the medical den.  Are you alright?” 

@Oisin

She wasn't too far when Veho barked for her. The small girl eagerly bounding toward her teacher as he explained what would be needed. Oisin was quick to do what was instructed, helping sort the sweet grass and hellebore in the leaves. Her tail easily swaying behind her as they made their way to the call.

Despite Veho having longer strides, the small healer did her best to keep up, trailing near his flank so he could lead. She set down her own little bundle next to his before respectfully backing up. Oisin had never helped those in birth but she assumed that's what that smell was. After all, Amaryllis had seemed almost ready to explode when Oisin first saw her.

The usually energetic girl settled her nerves for this moment because Papa had always told her that being hyper while healing wasn't good. So she opted for a sitting position facing Veho and the den. Oisin would eagerly wait to see if anything else would be needed. Besides, it might be best for her to be a runner between the medical den and birthing den. She wouldn't want Amaryllis to be alone and Veho had to be closer to the woman than Oisin was.

medic demonstration 1/3

Her eyes were drawn to the entrance to the den, heading Veho's voice as he told her that they'd brought some things from the den and if she was alright.

Was she alright? No, of course not!

"He's not breathing." Yet her voice shook as she spoke to Veho, making it clear that no, she wasn't alright. Not at all. Her son was dead and there was nothing she could do to fix it. "He...he stopped breathing and I tried to...tried to help but I couldn't - " she couldn't do anything. His breath hadn't returned to him no matter what she did, no matter how hard she prayed. Nearly choking on her next words, Amaryllis placed her chin over her son again and cried out, her throat thick with sadness and years flooding her eyes.

"Please Veho, he's not breathing. I don't know what to do." Her worst fears, the worst thing to happen to her pups, since seeing Oula just after her birth had happened to her as well. Logically, she knew there was nothing Veho or anyone could do for the pup. But the not so logical side of her, the part of her that wanted her son to live didn't care. Veho was a healer, more skilled then her. He had to know what to do!

There is a rabbit's nest nearby. +1 Health

Such a good girl.  Not for a the first time, Veho once again approved of his choice to take Oisin in, despite their overwhelming number of females (and youngsters).  She was such an eager student – if she could replace him as medic, perhaps he might finally find some time for himself.  By this time next year, even, she might be able to do it on her own!
 
But alas, this would not be an easy birth for her to observe – because when the alpha asked what was wrong, his co-leader answered with the worst possible of news.  Not breathing.  One of her children was not breathing.
 
Without a second thought, Veho dropped to his belly and crawled into the mouth of the den.  If Amaryllis bit him in the face, so be it – but this was not a problem he could solve with words alone.  The pup in question was easily identified, so close to his mother’s muzzle, but it did not take him more than one or few nudges to know exactly what was wrong.  And the female alpha was right.  There was nothing he could do for the boy.  He was already gone.  So much smaller than the other, tucked up against Lily’s side and suckling, it was amazing he ever breathed at all.
 
Veho sighed softly.  “I can bury him, if you wish.” 

The smell near the den was funny but she paid no attention to it. Oisin had never had to be a healer in this kind of situation but she was positive that with Veho's leading word she could handle this. It wasn't like she had to do this all alone or anything either. The small female knew he handled most of the situation while she was like a lesser nurse.

She could hear the words that came from Amaryllis. "He's not breathing." A sharp frown pulled on her face as she stayed outside of the den. Papa had informed Oisin that not everyone could make it to this world. Of course, she didn't expect that to make it easier for anyone involved. Oisin tried her best to keep listening in case something was asked of her. There was nothing the healers could do, the small Hollow wolf knew that. They were helpers, not miracle workers (even if sometimes she wished she could be).

Her ears momentarily pressed back against her skull as Veho offered to bury the boy. She would have offered to do the job so Veho could keep helping but Oisin was unsure if Amaryllis would have allowed her to even touch her still son. Better to simply wait outside for directions.

There were no sharp teeth flashed at Veho as he peered into the den nor did she resist as he nudged her away, to see her pup. She allowed him to look at her pup, because even after all that had happened, she still trusted and respected the mam. His actions and words that had been spoken before had come from a place of understanding and a small part of her was amazed he had even come at her call.

However, she was truly grateful he was here, as was Oisin she could smell outside. Yet her throat tightened when he offered to bury her child. She knew it had to be done, that she couldn’t cling to his little body forever.

But part of her wanted to do just that, to keep him close. He was her child. Her lips thinned out as she glanced down at her boy. She truly wished to do it herself but she didn’t have the strength right now to do it and there were her two other children to worry over and take care of. But she didn’t wish for him to go without a name. Part of her upbringing had taught her lost souls were lost because they either had no names or had forgotten them and were earth bound. There had also been a story told to her as a young pup, that the souls of wolves traveled in a river (or on the river somehow, she had also heard) to the final resting place of wolves. She wasn’t sure how well she still believed it but right now, it was all she had.

Taking a deep shaky breath, she laid one last kiss on the small boy’s head, murmuring a small goodbye; “Sleep well my little Minnow, may the river take you to better lands.” Looking over to Veho, she shakily took his offer, loosening her grip on her pup, she would allow Veho to take him away.

“Please, be gentle with him.”

Minnow.
 
What a sweet name for a sweet little boy.  Though Amaryllis hadn’t actually spent any time with him in this life, the medicine man didn’t doubt it lessened her pain any.  She’d given birth to him, after all (just as his own mother had given birth to Neha – that the girl was still young didn’t make that death any easier for his mother to handle, either).  The wolf made a low noise of empathy, sympathy (little did he know he’d be in the same bout later on), and moved to further push inside the den.  He only crawled in as far as necessary to reach Minnow, and he paused for just a moment.
 

“I will treat him like my own,” he promised before picking up the little wolf.  Carefully, he retreated, setting him down outside only long enough to speak with Oisin.  “Sometimes,” he whispered quietly, “healing is more than physical.  I think you should stay here.  Be company, if nothing else.”
 
Sometimes, wolves just needed to know someone else was there.
 
With that, he gently scooped Minnow back up and disappeared into the trees, content to bury the young child with care near the riverside.  He wouldn’t be alone long, not there.  But it was peaceful, and quiet, and he would be easy to find if ever Amaryllis wished to visit.


Veho's Exit.

She wished she hadn't had to have seen Veho emerge with the boy but she figured she would have to get accustomed to the unsavory things about being a healer if she wished to continue in this line of work. Her head nodded softly at Veho's words. "Yes sir." The small female whispered softly before lowering onto her stomach and carefully working her way towards the opening of the mother's den. A soft whine was given to alert her of her presence. Should Amaryllis not be ready for Oisin to be so close to her children she'd be ready to retract herself. But first, she had to say something, anything to comfort the grieving mother.

"I'm here for you."

It was whispered softly over the mewing of the newborns at Ama's side. Two of them from what she could spot. How precious and fragile they seemed in this moment. Little did they know that a whole pack was willing to look after them and protect them from harm's way. Not to mention the strong mother that they had been born to. The children weren't Oisin's nor were they even related by blood to them but she could feel her heart swell with adoration for the new life.