Charred Ash Draw I'll know my name as it's called again

@Maera <3 || Mid-morning, Patchy rain possible, 67 ° F, 19 ° C

He had taken @Lacey to go play with the Tainn children under @Treyah's watch. The father placed a few kisses on his daughter's head and gave the yearling cub-sitter a heartfelt thank you before he headed back towards his family's own den. It was obvious something was off about Naira but it seemed Treyah was stepping up rather well. He needed to have a talk with her about the going on.

A heavy sigh left his lips as he moved across the lands. There was someone else he needed to check on first. Even if most of his time was spent making sure the mothers and children were alright he hadn't really been with Maera all that much. Lacey was a powerhouse that kept them on their toes and made every day full of excitement. He wouldn't have traded it for the world but that didn't mean he didn't want some alone time with his mate every now and then.

The tawny Rigel let out a soft bark to summon his mate if she was nearby. Kerberos was unsure if she might have snuck off when he took Lacey. If she had he had no problem waiting a bit for her.

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Maera yawned softly as she pushed herself up, taking advantage of the playdate to slink out of the den and feel the sun on her back… she could relax for a little bit – she just hoped Lacey didn’t cause too much trouble for the Tainn yearling. She had been getting a drink when she heard the soft bark from her husband, her ears perking as she instantly turned in the direction, her head tilted to the side softly as she crept up, offering a bark in return as she made her way towards him. Unease over the state of their female alpha and the offness that the woman had noticed had her thinking lately, though she wanted to speak with Kerberos and Treyah… Kerberos because he was her mate, and she trusted his advice, and Treyah because this was her mother.

She nuzzled his neck softly when she did arrive, a soft smile on her face. “Is she doing all right? Treyah, I mean… She knows we’re just a call away, right?” The mother felt a little anxious with her daughter being out of sight, like she was afraid that something would happen to her, or Treyah would feel overwhelmed with both her siblings and the Rigel daughter to watch over. “Sorry... I need to calm down and get used to her being adventurous don't I?”

 

A soft sigh left him as the dark form of his mate came into view. He welcomed her embrace and placed his head on top of hers as she nuzzled his neck. Kerberos had missed her even if she was always around. Just having one child was a handful and made him wonder if he would ever truly desire a litter as big as this year's Tainn kids. Of course, they still had plenty of time to mull over that.

"Yes, love." He murmured softly. "Everything is fine, Lacey is safe within the Draw. Treyah takes great care of the kids and she knows that we're always just a call away." His nose carefully ruffled through her dark scruff. After learning her of her past he could never blame her for being so anxious. He had just been lucky and had a fairly normal upbringing. A single child just like Lacey. Granted he didn't have other kids to play with like she did. Hopefully, it would be good for her.

The male hesitantly stepped back and ushered for Maera to follow him. He wanted to stroll with his mate for a bit before he went to go grab their child again. There were so many things they could discuss, perhaps should discuss. Yet some part of him wanted to push all of those things aside. A part of him yearned to just be the free birds they had been back in winter. Of course, the part of him that had matured loved the life here. He was proud of everything around them.

"What's on your mind?" Kerberos asked softly. Perhaps if she answered first he wouldn't feel so flustered by his own whirlwind thoughts.

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His words calmed her a little, not enough to make too much of a difference, but enough to hide the visible symptoms of her worry. She relied on his assurances because she knew he wouldn’t lie to her, and that he’d try to steer her right if she asked for advice. She slowly followed alongside him, though he called her out on the fact that something was bothering her and for a while, she drew out the silence, contemplating how to word it properly… “I’m thinking about challenging Naira.” She admitted softly as she glanced at him, trying to gauge his reaction on the topic, audibly talking it out in her head so he could hear the dilemma as she saw it.

“I know that without her and Triell, this wouldn’t be happening right now… the Draw wouldn’t even exist it’s just… something’s wrong with her, Kerb.” Surely he’d noticed her strange moods too… Treyah seemed too, from what Maera could tell. “It makes me doubt her ability to lead… like she isn’t all there.” She was confident that if she did, she could take her. That was never a doubt in her mind… between age and ability, especially if her suspicions were right? How could they not be, though? Chasing out Leotie who’d done nothing but be every part the dutiful second? She desperately needed his advice on the topic.

 

Her words were not a full fledge shock to him. If anything he had expected her to try and take at least second before they had even started a family. He had then almost expected her to try and claim the ranks when he had stepped up. It was almost obvious that this position of his was becoming a bit more permanent and comfortable to him. Of course, if Triell was to wake up tomorrow and wish to have his position next to his wife back then Kerb would face a dilemma. Let the man who gave him more than he could ask for lead like before or make the Tainn prove he was ready for it again? Now he was faced to weigh that with the possible thought of Maera leading by his side. It left an awkward feeling in his throat and stomach to think of him not leading next to her if she challenged the fading Naira and won.

"I won't stop you, Maera. I support your decision." He slowed down to a halt before giving Maera a rather serious look (considering the type of wolf he was). "But I believe you should tell Treyah if you haven't already. I don't want her to see this as some kind of mutiny from us." The male Rigel knew his wife was not dimwitted or foolish but he felt it was important he laid his own terms out for her to agree. He cared about everyone within the Draw, not just his own family. "And Naira's children will not witness the challenge if you decided you wish to take her spot. Nor will our own daughter. I will make sure of that personally." Despite Naira's occasional absent mind her children - and their own little one - were growing and becoming more aware of the world around them. They were still too young for this kind of lesson, though.

He slowly continued to walk again now that he had gotten his more serious words out there. "I really just don't wish for anyone to get hurt, Maera. You understand, right?" Kerberos sighed softly. He understood more than ever that the world was not simply smiles and rainbows but he'd be damned if he didn't at least try to protect those closest to him.

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She felt a small wave of relief filter through her body when he offered his support, though his serious look to follow was a little daunting, the shift from who he always was to this moment. She merely listened, nodding as he went on about Treyah. “I know… I just wanted to get your opinion first before I mention it to her…” She liked Treyah, respected her immensely and evidently enough trusted her enough to leave her alone with Lacey, which considering how protective Marea was, was surprising in and of itself.

And Naira’s children will not witness the challenge if you decide you wish to take her spot. She knew that too… like she’d ever subject them to something like that, or Lacey! She’d never even consider it! Still, she knew he just meant well and was probably looking to confirm this matter, not imply she’d actually challenge Naira in front of her own children. “I know, Kerb.” She whispered it softly when he asked if she understood. “I just… I want to protect everyone… first it was Leotie, what if next it’s Treyah, or me and Lacey, or hell, even Triell depending on the day…” She wasn’t predictable, and she wasn’t someone they could trust to make decisions a leader had to make anymore…

 

Kerberos was truly glad to be able to spend his life with such an understand wolf. He usually never made demands but when he did they were purely out of kindness and love. The male was so glad that Maera could see that. Of course, as she continued to speak he felt guilt that he had shoved way down come back to bite him. It seemed to hurt a lot more this time around.

"I was stupid to let it happen to Leotie. I thought Naira might have had reason and I should have stopped it." He admitted with a rather bitter tone but all of his bitter feelings were towards himself. "I refuse to make that mistake again simply because of my cowardice." Kerberos hated admitting it but at least it was out there now. He really would have thought some of the guilt would have gone away but it didn't seem to. It was a pesky bug that he couldn't shoo away. Except for this bug had large teeth that seemed to be latching on his throat in a metaphorical way.

His head hung as his pace was kept at an easy stroll. Kerberos' shoulder brushing ever so softly against Maera's every few strides. He was glad they were having this talk now rather than later. Who really would have known if the conversation would have even been able to happen at a later date.

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She let her tongue graze against his cheek as he beat himself up about what had happened with the former Second… she knew he shouldn’t do that, that none of them had realized that Naira was ill at the time. There was no way he could have known given the information he had, that she’d been driven out for the wrong reasons. Maera had personally just thought there’d been infractions that she hadn’t known about. “It wasn’t you being a coward, Kerb… it was you following orders you thought were sound. No one at the time knew.” She reminded him aloud.

She sighed softly, content with their walk and glad to have gotten that off her chest and garnered his support… this would be for the best, right? “Naira will always have a place here, and a legacy… just not as a leader. Not with how she’s become… maybe if there’s a way to cure it, or a way to make it better…” Even then, Maera herself could not guarantee that once she became leader that she would yield to anyone, not even Naira or her daughter, even with their legacy. The strong survived… and Maera’s only wish for the pack was that the strongest led… a strong alpha made a strong pack… they’d have to prove to her that they had what it took.

She was getting ahead of herself now... first, she'd have to talk to Treyah, then she'd actually have to challenge and win... The former felt more daunting than the latter, but it was something she'd handle like she always did - professionally.

 

If he had been a human he likely would have been banging his head against the wall. Luckily all he could do was shake his head and let his teeth grind. "It was." Why couldn't she see that? He had stood by idly while Naira tossed a once loyal member from their ranks. "Even if we didn't know something was wrong there were still signs I should have saw. We were just casting someone out for an overextended trip. She was sent away because of a made up insubordination and I supported it!" He had to silence himself before his voice raised anymore. Kerberos never had the intention to yell or shout near Maera. He didn't want to try attention to their conversation.

"I'm sorry." He whispered softly and went to offer a gentle nudge to his mate's cheek. The young leader felt even worse now for raising his tones. This wasn't Maera's fault. She didn't deserve to have to bear his burdens.

"And if we're too late?" The Rigel male mused softly. What if Naira was already too far gone? Where would they find a willing healer? Certainly himself and Treyah weren't enough (even together) to try and get the Tainn monarch out of the hole she had fallen into. Whatever exactly that hole was. All he knew was that it seemed to get a little bit darker with each passing day.

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She couldn’t see him as bad, like he was one of the few parts of her world that was untouched by doubt and bad decisions – the angel that’d kept her from destroying herself and every bridge she’d ever tried to build… the fact was, even if he didn’t see it, he didn’t know. She frowned as his voice raised louder and louder until he fell silent. “Hindsight is impeccable vision, but it’s not what matters. What matters is what’s visible in the moment, and Naira’s offness was not. Neither of us had any way of knowing that it was just the lengthened journey that Naira was mad about.” Alphas weren’t required to share every small detail of the pack with their subordinates.

He apologized softly as she let a soft smile break her features, replacing the frown to try and lighten the mood a little. “Don’t be. You’re stressed, and frustrated, and you’re blaming yourself for something you couldn’t control. She might’ve kicked you out too if you’d said something, and Lacey wouldn’t have a father right now.” She was trying to help him find ways to justify his actions to himself because her logic didn’t seem to translate perfectly to what she meant in his head. He asked if they were too late and she frowned. “Then we make her as comfortable as possible, never stop trying… it’s the least she deserves.” She’d undoubtedly changed their lives for the better, and the rest of the pack’s as well.