Wild Rye Fields Blackout

for @Adelayde, set on the 22th. Tell me if you need anything changed <3

They used to spend a lot of time together. But now, well the opposite could be said. What happened? What went wrong, where did it go wrong? Somehow, it was probably his fault, after all things usually were, one way or another. And yet, he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Not sad, not lonely. Just accepting, perhaps? He'd already lost so much, what was another person? But did Adelayde deserve such apathy?

No, not really. She wasn't to blame, she'd done nothing wrong in fact, she was as blameless as they came. As good and as pure as anything, she was like his sister's in that regard. Except, you know, Adelayde was alive and they weren't.

It wasn't as though the Selwyn spent a lot of time thinking about his female counterpart. She wouldn't even be on his mind if he hadn't come across her scent as she no doubt lurked about, trying to be sneaky. She was a giant, there was no way Askan wouldn't notice her. Maybe once the the rye grass grew tall she might be able to hide,but now? He knew he'd find her and when he did, he would ask her why, what did she want?

Askan and his mate had claimed this little patch of the territory as their own, their little sanctuary, and whilst she wasn't trespassing per se if anyone loitered around there, then wasn't hard to figure out what they had in mind. She was being nosey.

"I know you're here." He rumbled, wincing a little as his words tugged at his sore throat on their way out. Fine, he'd keep this short. He adjusted his footing,glanced back into the mouth of the den and wanted nothing more than to crawl back inside. But first. "Just come out, I'm tired." More than he could ever say.

she says beauty is pain

The phrase normally went a little like this, "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." But, sadly Adelayde saw no satisfaction coming out of this. She figured, she'd get her head chopped off anyway and stick her nose into where it didn't belong again. However, to her defense she had a right to know if her male counterpart was fairing well. If she was smart, she'd just turn around, leave him be and let him heal while she took up some extra duties for him as he recovered. He'd be back to his normal self in no time. Or so she wanted to think. 

As Nosy Nora crept closer to his personal den, the scent of him and Reyes pungent in the air. Her mismatched eyes searched to see if Askan or his sidekick was around as she stayed along the treeline in a sad excuse of trying to camouflage herself. But as if she thought of turning back and mustering up the courage tomorrow to barge right up to his den, Askan showed himself. His rumbles making her sink closer to the ground with her ears flattening against her skull. She should of turned around when she had the chance. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. 

Perhaps, it wasn't too late. She could slither away before he saw her. All he had to go on was a hunch and her scent that filled this territory anyway. She could of just been passing by for all he needed to know. But his next hoarse words stopped her in her tracks as she lifted her paw to leave. He sure sound tired. And beat. Her heart aching at the sound of his voice. 

Instead of retreating, the large beta stepped away from the trees and began to make her way towards the mouth of his den. Stopping a few lengths away from him, remembering last time she was close to him. Her eyes sympathetic and soft as her voice murmured, "I was just seeing if you were okay? If you needed anything?"

and there's beauty in everything

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There is a deer that was killed by a lynx nearby. +10 Health

Askan was in no mood or state to yell. So when Adelayde came out on her own accord he huffed in relief. Good, he was glad that she had some sense in her. That she wasn't so dirt-for-brain that she'd think she could hide from him.

Still, he didn't like the way she was looking at him. Like there was something wrong with him, like he was broken and worst of all, as though she pitied him. His expression twisted into a snarl and he glared daggers at her. She might have meant well and was trying to show that she cared, but to Askan it seemed as though she was just shoving her big fat nose in his business. Any other time, way back when, he might have just brushed her off with a snort and a sharp quip. But now he couldn't even muster the will to try and understand where she was coming from. She was just an unwelcome guest and honestly he didn't want to deal with her positive vibes and beaming smiles.

He wanted to be alone, to mourn what he had lost, what had been taken from him.

"I'm fine. I don't want anything."He responded, as deadpan as he could muster.

He wanted to sound fierce, strong but it was hard to even get close when his voice was so weak, so feeble. Like Savion's weight was still baring down upon him. He winched, hard, like he'd just been struck across the face. And as silly as it might sound, he would have preferred that over this. Anything was better than the hell he was stuck in.

"You can go now. Unless you got something to say?" He squinted at her, egging her on to speak her mind when really he just wanted her to leave. To go back to her life in the sun, without his misery overshadowing it all.

Her ears flattened against her skull as his scowl twisted into a snarl. He had taught her to stick up for herself, but he never showed her this much anger and no matter all his teachings, she lowered herself under his hot gaze. Normally, she was able to handle his gruff attitudes, but today more than ever her guilt engulfed her and she just wanted to take everything back. She wished she never went on border patrol that day, never met his uncle and passed on his message to only lead Askan to his trap. Adelayde was supposed to protect everyone and be by Askan's side to fight off anything that wanted to jeopardize their safety. But she wasn't there. She didn't save him. She was only part of the reason he almost died.

His voice, when he did speak to her, made her cringe. It was weak, scratchy like a guitar out of tone. It wasn't the strong, gruff voice she was used to. Because of her. He was not fine. Askan was far from fine, she knew it. She knew now they weren't as close as they used to be before Reyes, but she knew him. This wasn't fine. He was hurting, more than she could ever know, but she was always intuitive. Ade doubted he'd tell her what was on his mind, what was hurting him aside from the physical pain. The burly man never really opened up to her, no matter how hard she stick her nose in. 

"You're not fine," she managed to muster up before he tried to dismiss her away. She remembered when Craw and his heathens attacked her. Askan was there to get her butt back in gear. Granted, she acknowledged this was far worse than her scars. Askan had been through far worse, but she wanted to be there for him like he was for her. If only he'd let her.

When his voice hammered down on her again, her ears perked though fell back again in angst. Her tongue rooted to the roof of her jaw for a moment as she struggled to form words. To explain she didn't mean for any of this to happen. To tell him she would of took his place if she could because it was all her fault. "I - I didn't-," she tried to muster out but her mouth failed her. Her tongue was heavy as if it suddenly lost all ability to move. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry, I didn't," He'd do this to you.

sorry for any mistakes, currently on phone >_<

(This post was last modified: Jul 31, 2017, 01:04 AM by Adelayde.)

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"Don't you dare tell me what I am!" He hissed, only to wince at how much it damn hurt. Fuck. Fuck it all."You don't know shit, so leave me alone."

Maybe it was her fault, maybe it wasn't, but in the end he didn't really care. Nor did he really blame her for it. That wasn't to say he wanted her apologies, if anything they made him feel all the more sick. Like there was something wrong with him, as though his uncle had poisoned him with a slow acting toxin that would surely, one day make Askan just as bad as he had been before Reyes put him down. Good fucking riddance.

It wasn't necessarily aimed at her, but all Askan felt in that moment was loathing and resentment. For himself, for Savion and for this damned cruel world that seemed so intent on taking everything away from him, one piece at a time.

Turning on her, Askan bristled and bared his teeth. But compared to what he looked like before he was no more threatening that a wounded fox. A brisk wind would no doubt be enough to sweep him off his feet.

"You know what? You can shove that apology right up your arse. I don't want it and I don't want you here!"

He wouldn't hurt her, not even now when he was seeing nothing but red. But he wanted to, he wanted someone to hurt just as much as he did. Just to make his pain sting a little less. 

"Don't you dare tell me what I am!" She should of saw that one coming. They've always had a shaky relationship, mostly composed of fights where Adelayde pushed him too far where he'd burst and push her further away. He never let her get close. After a while, the Snow woman accepted that. Hoping if she perhaps laid off of him for a bit, maybe he'd turn around eventually and open up to her. That was before Reyes came along and ever since his sudden arrival, the distance between the betas, has never been longer. 

"You don't know shit, so leave me alone." His first remark provoked nothing from the tawny woman. But this, this struck a nerve.

 

"Because you don't let me know anything!" She didn't mean to yell or even follow his outburst. The beta meant to stay quiet, let him say his piece that she knew would be following her words. She really didn't know this was within her. This anger she held when he kept pushing her away. "You push me away every chance you get! I'm only trying to help. I'm trying to be nice, Askan." 

That was all she wanted to do. Be nice and helpful, even get to know him more. But whenever she tried, he put a giant, unscalable wall to shut her out. When he turned to her again, baring his teeth, the Rye beta stood her ground this time. Her body didn't shrink towards the ground nor did her ears flatten against her skull. Defying his anger, her sea-blue eyes narrowed at his chocolate shape as her head stayed level. 

"You know what? You can shove that apology right up your arse. I don't want it and I don't want you here!"

"Fine." She declared suddenly, her eyes merely slits like that of a provoked cobra. "No, Askan, you know what? Have it your way. Have your own little piece of land here, build your wall up so you can keep shutting out everyone that cares a single ounce about you. Since that's all you ever do." Hackles bristled and teeth bared by the end of her speech, the beta stiffly glared at her equal with an unearthed irritation like the rye has ever seen from their sunflower girl.

(This post was last modified: Aug 23, 2017, 11:37 PM by Adelayde.)

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This wasn't an argument he wanted to be having. Hell, did anyone deliberately go out of their way to argue with others? Surely someone out there, in the big wide world might, but he wasn't one of those people. For all his flaws and shitty characteristics he wasn't that guy, outright mean or cruel. Like everyone else, if you cut him open he'd bleed all the same.

Compared to the emotional damage that had been done, his throat was trivial. Didn't hurt at all when lined up next to the deep aching feeling that had taken root in his chest.

Her words were not meant to hurt-Adelayde didn't have a mean bone in her body,even then he knew that- but they did. They hurt because they were true, that ever since Reyes had appeared on the scene, and probably even before, he had repeatedly pushed her away with the intention of putting more space between them.

Pointing it out wasn't helping matters, nor did it make him more inclined to see reason. If anything, it made him all the more frustrated, mad. Like he was being cornered with no escape in sight.

How dare she come to his safe place and shove such blaring truths in his face. He would not flinch at her words or feel guilty, at this point he wasn't entirely sure if he could anyway. He simply wanted her gone and out of his damn face. What part of 'leave me alone' did she not understand? How else could he spell it out for her? Did she want him to write it in the dirt?

His glare was piping hot, as he continued to regard her with obvious resentment. Again, he wanted to ask her what she wanted but he knew she had been telling the truth the first time, her response would be the same. And yet something had changed, for the better. Not now but... She wasn't the coward she used to be, she was actually standing up to him, holding herself high whilst Askan curled in on himself like he wanted to die. Which he did, he supposed, like it was no big deal.

Jealously raged within him and without even thinking it through he lunged forward, snarling as he snapped at the air. If Adelayde wouldn't leave when asked then maybe he could bluff his way through this shitty situation. It might have worked too, if a scalding pain didn't erupt in his throat mere seconds after the growl left his lips. He coughed and he gagged and his eyes watered so hard he might as well have been crying.

"F-fuckk." He wheezed, in obvious distress.

Her gaze never faltered as her eyes narrowed at his evident animosity that burned deep in his canary gaze. She didn't care. Any other moment, she would care that his eyes looked at her with such resentment and anger. Adelayde never liked conflict, but it's grown easier to handle since joining the Rye and learning what it was to really stand up for herself. Askan had taught her to stand up to the Whitestone wolves when they attacked her and made a fool out of her. He may not of meant for her stand up to him like this, but again she didn't care, not in this moment.

Seafoam eyes studied the chocolate male as his lips curled to bare the whites of his teeth, her own body tensing as she anticipated his next moved. Dodging his jaws, she snapped her own next to his ear in warning. She wasn't here to intentionally hurt Askan. She just wanted him to see her point. She wasn't going to take his shit anymore. 

Her own anger rippled through her veins when he snapped at her, but as soon as his growl gurgled into a distressing cough, her anger was immediately replaced with concern as she backpedaled away from him. Giving him his space, her mismatched eyes growing wide as he sputtered and coughed. His eyes watering as he managed to swear after catching his breath. Ade foolishly and selfishly forgotten about the condition Askan was in. He clearly hasn't recovered and she wasn't making it any better. Obviously she was making things worse by aggravating his wounds. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

Sighing softly, she realized how stupid all this was. What was going to come out of this? How could she change that bullheaded Guardian's ways? This surely wasn't the way. "Just breathe. Slowly, in and out. Nice and easy now." What good was this arguing doing?

 

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Askan coughed so much he thought he was going to be sick. Not that he really had anything in his stomach to throw up, but that hadn't stopped him before. He'd never been the sort to cry in front of others-even though he was a bit of a cry baby- but damn it he was straddling a really thin line here. He might have been able to play it off as a side affect of his coughing but when his breathing got all fast and hiccupy it was pretty damn obvious that was a lost cause.

It hurt damn it, it all did. He just wanted it to stop, was that too much to ask?

Adelayde always seemed to be around when he was at his weakest, and whether that was good timing on her side or bad timing on his, he had no idea. He honestly wasn't entirely sure what he was crying about. The pain? Mental or physical? Or the fact that yet again she stood by his side when he had yet another freakout.

She told him to breath, her voice soothing and calming as birdsong, but instead of being put at ease he shot her a withering look. What did it look like he was doing? Why did she have to make it seem so easy when it clearly wasn't? Damn woman, she might as well as told him not to feel sad, tomorrow was another day!

If that one was anything like this then he wanted nothing to do with it. He just wanted to die, that seemed a whole lot easier than this. And yeah, maybe it was giving up. Maybe this wouldn't be what his family would have wanted for him, but they were dead and gone and Askan no longer believed in heaven or it's angels. His family wanted nothing for him, they were broken and rotting like every other thing on his Earth that had stopped breathing.

"Jus'...." He panted, his breaths wheezy like his throat was clogged. "Jus' go...Please. I cant-"