Wild Rye Fields ain't no justice in these moments.

For @Drestig.  Set early morning, light drizzly.  60F/16C.

Reyes awoke with a start, a cold shiver rattling down his spine. It was all he could do to simply roll sideways; when Askan was a sleep, it was better to just let him be. At least (he hoped) it was more peaceful that way. (Unless he was having dreams like those. But Askan wouldn’t. Couldn’t. He wasn’t like Reyes, he wasn’t a mo--)

Aborting the thought abruptly, the gamma carefully wiggling himself free from his mate’s grasp, pausing only long enough to ensure he hadn’t woken the injured wolf before stepping out into the open air. He was greeted by a warm drizzle – disgusting weather – and for once, couldn’t be arsed to complain about it. His mind was set to white noise, a roaring static, and so Reyes did the only thing he could think of: run. Run over the rolling hills and past the borders into the lowlands, circle back and run back again. Even by the time his legs were burning, he couldn’t get the horrible noises from between his ears.

So he did something he never did before – a true indicator of his sorry state – and put his nose to the air to seek out Drestig. They both cared for Askan, he and the alpha, and perhaps that was the only commonality they shared, but this concerned the beta, so surely he’d help, right? And if he didn’t, then—

Reyes’ cut his mind short a second time, barking softly once the Rye king came into view. This time, he meant to grab the male’s attention.

“Do you got a minute?”

Would they never find true piece? It would seem, just when they got through one tragedy, got a handle on one threat, a new one would appear. The northern wolves were no longer an enemy – he still didn't trust them, but he felt more at ease, knowing the two packs could coexist and simply keep out of each other's business – but that didn't mean the lowlands were free of danger. What happened to Askan had been clear proof of that. Danger seemed ever present, in this place he had build to be a sanctuary; Perhaps this is my curse..!

Soon he would become a father again, in charge of new, young lives. But could he truly protect them? If he couldn't even keep the adults of his family safe, what hope had he of sheltering these children? He'd failed the last one, after all; Maybe this was a bad idea..! There was no changing it now though, what was done was done, and he would have to sleep in the den he had dug. He wasn't going to give up, that was sure though, he would work his damn hardest to ensure that this time he did it right!

An unexpected call drew the old man from these wonderings, not the one he was waiting for, but rather one that took him entirely by surprise. Quickly he moved to answer, body tense with alarm at what might have caused his most reclusive member to call on him; More bad news? So when he met the dark wolf, not far from the borders, he was preparing for the worst. Reyes looked exhausted, wide eyed and gasping, like he'd just run the distance of the borders, or farther still; yet his introduction was mild, calming the leader somewhat, there was no imminent danger. "Reyes, of course," He answered simply, waiting for the younger wolf's cue on whether to walk or stay put. His mind was racing with questions; How is he? How are YOU? But he held them back, allowing Reyes to speak his mind. Generally he found, with the scarred man, it was better to let him talk of his own accord.

Word count: 361

"Speech" Thoughts

For a moment, Reyes paused. Even a few seconds ago, approaching the alpha with his…troubles seemed like a decent, if not good, idea. It wasn’t typically his nature, no, and doubt began to creep into the corner of his mind. It was possible Drestig wouldn’t be able to help – or simply wouldn’t want to. His ears planed out to the sides as his tongue lolled from his mouth, slowly catching his breath. But he couldn’t just stand here. He’d look like a damn idiot.

“I, uh – wanted to say thanks for watching after Askan when I went to Hearthwood River. I know he’s like your son and all but…he’s real important to me. So thank you.”

For perhaps the first time in his entire life, Reyes was able to see the true benefit of being a pack animal. If he had been on his on with only his mate, he would have had no idea about Lachesis, nor would he be able to leave Askan alone for any stretch of time in search of help. “He’s still kinda rough, but – he’ll live. An’ he’s improvin’, even if it’s slow.” Slow was fine, as long as it was in the right direction. But that wasn’t all that was eating at the younger wolf.

He frowned, approaching Drestig until he could speak more quietly. Even then, he paused further, clearly weighing what he was about to say before freeing his tongue to do the talking. “There’s somethin’ else, though, that’s botherin’ me. Not Askan,” he rumbled, testing the waters.

He looked dejected, almost the same as when the alpha had had to give him a firm talking to after the incident with Icicle; Seems almost pointless now… But this time Reyes had come to him, making the folded ears and hint of dread in his eyes that much more puzzling. Drestig could do nothing but wait for him to say what he’d come for, silvered tail giving a casual, patient wave. The scarred brute had been no less antisocial over the past weeks, though now it was because all his attention went to Askan, his worry clear every time the leader stopped by their den. Now a small wrinkle formed between his brows, wondering if that was why he was there; Did something happen..?

But his anxiety was quickly quelled as Reyes finally found his voice, catching his breath enough to speak. The thanks took him completely by surprise, not least because he hadn’t expected any, looking out for his pack mates was his job after all, and who wouldn’t do anything for those they cared about? He almost said as much, but held his tongue as the younger chap reiterated his thoughts, simply bowing his head in acceptance. They weren’t so far apart, the two of them, after all, hadn’t there been a time when Drestig himself saw no benefit of pack life? When he felt smothered by the idea of submitting to leaders and filling his day with the duties they put on him? It seems a lifetime ago, now… But he’d learned a lot from life in Oak Tree Bend, about how pack life was more than hierarchy and defending territory. That’s why it was so important to him that everyone in the Fields saw each other as family, because that relationship was the very foundation of the pack. But he knew it took time to build that kind of connection, especially for someone like Reyes, who seemed to have issues with trust.

Yet he’d bonded with Askan, and just seeing the subtle change on his face when he spoke of him and his recovery warmed the king’s heart; I’ve grown so soft in my old age… He nodded his head at Reyes, one corner of his mouth turned up in an encouraging smile; “We just gotta give him time.” It was a sentiment he’d repeated often enough to himself, when stopping by their den without result, or noticing the lacking scent on the border. It was hard on all of them, but they could only give him their support as he worked through this; At least he’s healing… There seemed to be more bothering Reyes than Askan’s state though, at least he appeared equally pained, alluding that he had more to say. Again Drestig stayed quiet, only shifting slightly to stand more comfortably as the younger man came closer. He waited for the words to come, and when they did he flicked an ear, wrinkling his brow ever so slightly. “Would you like to talk about it,” he asked tentatively, figuring that was why he had come but knowing to act with care, as the other was clearly struggling; “I’d be happy to help, if I can.”

Word count: 532

"Speech" Thoughts

A lynx has left behind the remains of a deer. +5 Health

The patience went a long way, at least. Drestig waited, unassuming, and Reyes was able to find his tongue, without hassle or worry. Nor did the alpha seem particularly intent on pushing his mate into the exact same form as before the attack as quickly as possible – were his mind not so full of other thoughts, perhaps he might have relaxed a little. And maybe he did, in his shoulders, in his spine, but the gamma did not feel relaxed at all as he fought for the words he didn’t want to say at all. Certainly not to Askan, not now, not while the man had so much to deal with on his own plate.

“‘m not sure if y’can,” he started, wanting to be clear that he wasn’t expecting a solution. But Reyes hadn’t been able to think of something himself, and hadn’t been to run himself out of the funk either, and he had been running out of options (heh). It certainly wasn’t something he wanted to burden Askan with – if anything, the admittance would only make his partner feel worse, and Reyes wasn’t sure how much more the younger wolf could take.

He shuffled uneasily, silver eyes flicking from side to side before they finally settled on the alpha’s face – disgust, pity, confusion, whatever Drestig felt, he wanted to see it. “I killed his uncle. Deron, I think. Ain’t the first time I killed a wolf, that ain’t the problem neither, it’s just…” Reyes huffed, refusing to break his gaze. “I liked it. I liked killin’ that bastard for everything he’s done.”

@Drestig -- 8D I finally did it.

He waited, patiently, watching Reyes closely but without any demand in his ember gaze. This was far from his first difficult conversation, from either side, and he knew to let the younger wolf find the words at his own pace. When they came, he listened quietly, giving the dark man plenty of time say everything, before moving to answer. He could recall plenty of situations where he wished he’d been given that same courtesy, who knew how different things might have turned out? But that’s all in the past..! Here and now, Reyes needed his attention, and what he was saying sent a chill down the leader’s spine.

He’d known in part: when Reyes brought Askan home, he’d given a short report of what had happened, assuring that the perpetrator had been dealt with. And it hadn’t been hard for Drestig to deduce what that meant. But it was still a different thing to hear it spoken out loud, especially in a manner as this. The king swallowed, taking his time to answer his subordinate. It was a harrowing thought, the idea that maybe he’d liked killing, for the act in itself; No wonder he’s so troubled..! In many ways it was such an easy thing, taking a life. They were wolves, they survived by killing other creatures, and in the moment it often came easily, it was an instinct. The real concern came afterwards, the guilt, the regret…

Clearing his throat, Drestig met the other’s silvery gaze, his own eyes dark. As he spoke his voice was low and calm, stance still relaxed and open, despite the weight of the words; “You liked it… When it happened. What about now? Do you still feel good when you think about it? Do you wanna do it again?” Jessie had asked him questions not to different from these once, if he hadn’t had her, maybe he would have tormented himself like this too. Instead she’d made him face the facts and move on, not that that was easy, but he’d managed, with her help. Looking at the other man now, he wondered if he could do the same for him, if Reyes emotions were similar to his own. “You said you have… Experience,” he wasn’t going to dig into that, not now at least; One issue at a time! “Did you feel the same way then?” It hadn’t sounded like it, whatever the circumstances may have been. In Drestig’s experience, there were too much agony involved with killing to become addicted. Hopefully Reyes would see his point.

Word count: 426

"Speech" Thoughts

Reyes waited, seemingly passive, and his thoughts threatened to run off with him again. The leader’s face betrayed very little – but then, it was unlikely a wolf would make it to eight years of age if he’d always lay his cards on the table for everyone to read. Grinding his teeth silently, the younger wolf waited, never taking his pale silver gaze off of Drestig until the man finally found the words he’d wanted. “Yeah, I do,” he replied roughly – if he thought too much, he’d try to find the right answer. The one the alpha wanted. “Bastard fucking deserved to die. ‘m damn glad I did it – I’d do it again.”

And like it just as much, that lying piece of shit.

It was different, he supposed, with other wolves. They didn’t get his blood up like the very thought of Deron – with what the guy had said to Askan, with what he’d done, both to his mate and to the remainder of the Selwyn clan. Yeah, that skin bag definitely deserved what he got. He didn’t doubt it for a second. But what Drestig said next caused him to pause, brows furrowing as he thought back on his brief experience with Blackwatch Canyon.

“Well…” He sighed. “No. Did what had to be done. I like getting work done. Cleaning up problems. But actually killing?” He shrugged. It didn’t disgust him, or terrify him, as it did some wolves – but it was not something he particularly enjoyed, nor looked forward to, when that was part of his life. It didn’t happen often – most problems could be resolved with a show of force (or offers of safety) instead of fatal violence – but he did not relish taking a life. Not like he had with Askan’s uncle. “Nothing before was ever like this.”

@Drestig -- Ugh his advice is so GOOD.

The harshness of his initial response struck Drestig like a physical blow, but other than his eyes widening faintly, he didn’t show it. If nothing else, Reyes deserved credit for his honesty, and the alpha could empathize with his position to a large extend. It was a vile thing this monster had done - and the leader didn’t even know half of it yet - but he knew the rage of seeing those you cared about hurt, and the satisfaction of revenge; However short lived. He’d expected the younger wolf to be over that sweetness now, but not everyone processed these things at the same speed he supposed. In the end, it had been Askan’s life or this bastard’s. Horrid as it might seem, it had been necessary; I just hope you WON’T have to do it again..!

But that was another worry for the future. For now he focussed on Reyes’ words, leaving him plenty of time to finish his thoughts. At least the king’s second question was answered more along the lines he’d hoped, and he nodded slowly, lips pursed. Again he considered carefully before saying anything, weighing every word in his mind. This wasn’t a black and white case - What ever is? - and he wanted to be completely sure before he started speaking. Looking the younger wolf straight in the eye, he took a quiet breath before beginning: “Well, I think it’s important to remember that. Once, under these circumstances, is more likely to be the exception than the rule.” The greying man paused, shaking a stiffness from his shoulders before continuing: “Let me ask you this: what part of it did you like?” One, silvered brow quirked at the question, but otherwise he kept his face carefully neutral. Like before, he didn’t want to influence Reyes’ answer; Though he seemed to have practised brutal honesty so far.

Of course, he had his hopes about the answer. As of now, the leader wasn’t too concerned, the real trouble would be if Reyes admitted to enjoying the murder in itself; The taste of blood, the sight of a dead and mangled body. Just that thought alone was enough to make Drestig shudder, and he quickly pushed them away before they led to even more horrible memories - he was getting dangerously close with this conversation as it was. So he spoke again, focussing fully on the pale eyes across from his own; “You’ve killed before, without relishing the act of taking life. What was different this time?” That might be a leading question, but hell, he wasn’t in the business of acting teacher, quizzing the younger wolf for the correct answer. Reyes had asked his advice, and he would give it to the damn best of his ability.

Word count: 460

"Speech" Thoughts

He didn’t want to think about this anymore. Reyes’ ears laid back against his skull as grey eyes searched the older wolf – the more the man probed, the more he began to regret this decision to open up to the Old Man. The advice wasn’t bad, not on its head, but some of the thoughts the alpha was dredging up weren’t exactly welcome ones. What parts?

Todo ello.

The taste of copper on his tongue. The rip of tooth through flesh. The burn of muscles of blood. All of it. Every last bit.

And he knew he couldn’t tell Drestig that. He wasn’t crazy, or stupid, or self-destructive. Not yet, anyways. Knew that wasn’t what the salt-and-pepper wolf wanted to hear. So he bit his tongue and held until the prompting continued, and even then, Reyes wished it would stop. He’d do it again. A thousand times over. It was silly to think a talk could make it stop. He was a lot of things, and idiot was included. “I dunno. It just was. ‘Cos it was about Askan.”

To say it was for Askan would be wrong, so he didn’t – but still. There was a point. It wasn’t just a job, a means to an end. That bastard had to die, and Reyes saw to it.

Segador.

“Guess that’s all there is to it.”