July 19th; Late afternoon; Fog; 53 ° F, 12 ° C.
Rook had not been present when Ophelia had gone. He hadn't even had the chance to see Felix off on his grand adventure. He also didn't realize when Joan had left until it was much too late and the pack was spending their resources - their numbers, their stored energy for the winter - searching for her. All three Macieo-Whitebark cubs: gone. Just like that. They would never see their step-siblings grow up, one would never return, Rook could now never fully claim to be their Papa. He had missed too much and, in turn, he had missed out on any second chance to be there for them. He had failed. Being a 'third' parent, most especially in his case, proved to be just as efficient as there being only two. What was worse was that he had thought everything was going to be all right. He, alone, had raised Tomen (then, later, Veho had taken over); surely, having three parental figures could have raised three cubs.
Wrong.
For the third time this week, the Lyall strayed from the borders of Grizzly Hollow, vowing to be gone for only a few hours. The pack meeting hadn't gone too terribly, but, a small part of him had sorely hoped that Tomen, Joan, Felix, and Ophelia had been there. He should have learned his lesson by now - that it was almost stupid to hope. But, wasn't that what Grizzly Hollow was all about? Hope?
The Lyall leaned against a tree for a moment, partially marking it and using it as a brace to hold himself up on all four limbs. It was with a heavy heart that he forged onward through the mist, wondering if the summer humidity would give Relic Lore a break and spare them the fog in lieu of a good thunderstorm. He had to visit with his brothers; they always seemed to know how to make him feel better. Along the banks of Jasper Rocks, he sought out the gravesite of Theo and Prosper only to notice a few rocks and branches that he had not noticed there before. There, beside the boulders and the two trees that served as the previous Lyalls' headstones, was a decent-sized cairn.
A lump formed in his throat and he thought back to when he had heard the news of Ophelia's passing. Was this... Was this her? He cursed at himself for not helping out. He might have been an absent parent but he did love her fiercely, like one of his very own - and she probably didn't know.
He sulked into a sitting position in the shadow of the evergreen trees and the built-up place where the stones now rested. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry..."