Larkcall Lowlands watch the scene die untold

@Jessie <3

It burned in his chest.

Inhale—like fire pouring into his lungs, followed by winter itself, causing him to cough. Every. Time. He spat something out, a glob of wetness he didn't dare look at, for he was sure there'd be dark stains in the pallid moonlight. Everything was grayed out in the night. The red would seem black, but he chose not to look at it, for he had seen it enough times already.

Not that he could quite claim to be coherent enough to say it was an informed decision.

Up until now, he had aged with grace and strength intact—he had been sturdy, his health had been mostly robust, and the ache in his joints not so bad, unless he'd slept too long on the cold ground without the added insulation of a little nest. He had been much the same as ever, maybe he'd slept more, maybe he'd needed more food but had a lesser appetite, maybe there were those gray, coarse hairs all over his silver face and up his broad legs, and some of his teeth had begun to hurt a little, and he needed more of a warm-up before exerting himself or he'd pull a muscle, or sprain something, but despite all of this, he had been a wolf still in his prime, where experience made up for physical faults.

Now, though, he wasn't even sure who he was. He shivered and panted his way through the days. His chest grated each time he breathed, and ached in that weird, not-quite-real way, as if his heart itself hurt. He spat up wads of phlegm and blood. He could barely hunt, and had lived on what he could scavenge.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Those were just the raw, hard facts, the observations one could make when viewing what had become a rather pitiable excuse of an aging, ill wolf.

The worst of it was his mind.

It wasn't so much something he was aware of, except for fleeting moments when it struck him that something was off, moments of lucidity in which he knew he was in the wrong place, and that he was more or less walking in circles in an unfamiliar north he did not know. But between those.. he walked and he walked and he walked, desperately trying to get to Swift River, because he had to get home. Because something had happened. To Kisla. To everyone. He had to get home, and tell Corinna and Indru that she was missing, that she had been taken over the mountains, that—no wait, she wasn't taken over the mountains, she was.. she was...

He stopped, out of breath just from walking, bent his head and hacked out a few more painful coughs. The frost had begun to come in the cold morning hours, and he should rest, because when it got that cold he needed to be up, to walk, but if he folded in on himself now he'd never get home, and he needed to tell them—

Tell them something—

Ice looked around himself, at the strange, forest-free landscape bathed in the silver light of a thousand distant stars. Where the hell am I?

The Rye Queen felt another sharp pang in her heart as the left the Rye borders, inhaling as the strong scents of those who remained filled her nostrils. Still, the names of those who were no longer with them were heavy on her mind, whether it be by choice or some other fate that took them away from the life they were living. Most prominently on her mind, were Askan and Reyes. She blamed herself for their leaving, even if it was for their own desires and Jessie was happy for them. After all, they did exactly what the Rye lead couple had done not too long ago during their parting from Oak Tree Bend. All they sought out was their own happiness and if the family they were trying to create within the fields did not to it for the dark pair then the widowed Tainn would be damned if she stopped them. Just as all loses did though, their leaving hurt. The mother did not stop of her trek outside of the borders, determined to get her mind out of her ass. The temperature was dropping, which only meant that their herds would be getting even more scarce as the days passed. With their members down by three, the woman’s concerns only grew as the days passed. Jessie had faith that the Rye wolves would be able to get by but it did not stop her from worrying, especially over her children. Jessie was hoping not to run into anyone during her excursion and was certainly not expecting to see anyone that should have been over the mountains. None the less, the sight of the white man warmed her heart. Or…at least it did until she saw him cough. Oh, and what a cough it was. The monochrome woman’s heart jumped in her throat. The Tainn started forward, concern and love shone brightly in her eyes. A whine slipped passed her lips, “Ice.” Ears flicked back on her head as she approached. The petite woman had never imagined the strong man to ever be one to fall to something as wicked as an illness. Nostrils flared as she looked upon the man in front of her. She would not lose another friend today.

foxstox @DA & Dawnthieves.de

The frost seared his lungs. Ice blinked in the pale light, trying to decipher what he was seeing—where he was standing. The horizon was unfamiliar, yet reminiscent of both his birthland and Red Salmon Cove. A.. tundra, of sorts, but largely unfamiliar. The gentle slopes and rolling hills, the rocky outcrops, were all like strangers to him, and as he cast about in the night, he.. was that the distant back of a mountain range? Wasn't he supposed to follow one, to somewhere? The breath rattled in his lungs as he turned towards it, his fevered gaze glued to it. Yes, mountains! Something about mountains...

“Ice,” someone said, much too close for comfort. The old wolf blinked, his gaze sweeping the surroundings again. She stood there, silver in the moonlight, her green eyes muted to murky gray, and he wondered how he hadn't seen her before. Perhaps he had thought her a ghost, or another rock, but she had definitely spoken. He coughed again. His sense of smell was dead, but she looked like home. Slowly, on burning limbs and aching paws, Ice drifted a little closer to her.

Yes, she was definitely from Swift River.. the loyal sister of the loyal Cali (something in his mind told him that there was something about Cali as well; was she missing? was everyone missing?). Jessie. A good, good friend, she had been there with them when they'd found Rissa, and when they'd gone over the mountains to found—wait, that wasn't right.. they couldn't have made a new pack, they were situated in Swift River still. Right? They had to still be at the River. "Jessie," he said, her name like a death-rattle from his lungs. He stopped thinking, he stopped caring, relief melting the tension from his bones and spreading some kind of childish bliss across his face. "I got lost, I—I don't seem to be able to find my way back to the River," his voice still a hoarse mess and broken up by coughs, and the always-so-sure wolf didn't even seem to notice how out of place it was for him to be lost. "Is it near? There's something—about Kisla—" He frowned. He kept thinking she was dead, that it was her they had found, but that wasn't it, was it..?

"Is she dead?" he asked uncertainly, deeply, deeply disturbed, and suddenly afraid.

What is happening to me?

let the stars above shine in your soul

He turned towards her, almost in a daze and for a moment she wondered if he recognized her. Jessie’s eyebrows furrowed in worry but then he glided forward and she met him halfway. The petite Tainn offered him what comfort she could, a little bump of the shoulder and inhaled his familiar scent – though something was still off. When he spoke her name, emerald eyes shot to his face and her lips parted as if to confirm that it was indeed her but no sound came out. Jessie was more surprised by the very sick sound that resonated in her friend’s chest when he spoke. She made her way closer to him, unconcerned with her own well-being and offered him what warm she could offer. What was he doing all the way out here? If she wasn’t already concerned enough, Ice started speaking as if it were years ago and he was still there. The Rye Queen’s heart started beating a bit faster, knowing what she must do but unsure of how the rest of the pack would feel about it. As Ice continued on, the monochrome woman felt her heart break. Her friend was obviously in a delirium and she did not want to have to break the news to him again, but she was no liar. Her voice was soft when she spoke, “Yes…Kisla is gone.” A deep sadness reflected in the mother’s eyes. Jessie licked her lips. When she spoke again, her voice was stronger. “Let me take you home with me, Ice.” I’m so worried about you.

foxstox @DA & Dawnthieves.de

There are several fresh rabbit tracks in the mud. Hunt Opportunity

Gosh I suckk

He remembered something, then—something Treyah had said a long time ago, when the world had been full of sunshine and the only clouds whatever had passed between him and Kisla. There had been regrets, of various kinds, feelings of being not quite enough, and the haunting notion that he should go visit Fenru and Arlette. But more than that, he was happy to be home, with Serach, Aponi, and the young. Treyah had come like an unwanted lightning strike, setting some things on fire, but not much more than that. He'd been worried about Triell for a while after it, but what she'd said about her mother came back to him then.

It's like she time travels or something, Treyah said in his memories. His breath rattled in his lungs and throat; the jutting spine of the mountain against the cold, starry sky was ominous. Two lives, one on each side. Forever and always tramontane, beyond the mountains. Was that how it was always going to be? He coughed, wishing he could dislodge the fear from his body with the movement, but it only burned his throat and made him quiver.

“Yes…Kisla is gone,” Jessie replied, and Ice struggled to not respond with a who?, for he was suddenly certain that whoever Kisla was, they'd just been talking about her. He closed his eyes, and leaned against the smaller wolf for comfort and warmth; Ice was thin beneath his ragged and thick fur. Kisla; ah, yes, Kisla. She was gone? But she was just a child! Had she gone missing during play?

Pups die when they go missing.

"We have to find her," he croaked in protest to Jessie's firm command that he come home with her, although, it sounded.. so good.. to get to go home again. Surely Kisla would be fine a few hours longer? She was almost a yearling, after all, with a thick Tainn winter coat, and a sensible head on her shoulders. Besides, she wasn't as brave and boisterous as Rihael or Rissa, so she'd probably be fine, unless that was why she was gone.. Ice groaned, but it was more like a wheeze. "I've been lost so long," he whispered in the winter darkness, the whites showing around his silver eyes.

let the stars above shine in your soul

With each cough, a new note of fear struck Jessie’s heart and for the first time that day she thought quite clearly in her head: he’s going to die...right in front of me.” Eyebrows creased together in concern and partial confusion - as to why he would not come with her, especially in the state that he was in. Please, Ice. He had always been stubborn and headstrong but it was a part of him Jessie had come to adore. She didn’t quite think it were those qualities that were keeping him from attending to himself this time. Something was wrong. She offered what warmth she could with her petite form - the best she could do out in the cold without shelter. She winced in response to his protest, closing her eyes against the harsh reality of the situation. How could he not know? She was blunt but her voice was soft, trying to lessen the blow, ”Kisla is dead, Ice.” Even as the words left her mouth, she felt her heart ache but she needed to continue, ”We won’t be able to find her.” Even if she were sent on a scouting trip for their friend and family member, she already knew where to go, for there was no doubt the most beloved mother and leader was buried near the lands of Hearthwood River.

He wheezed and Jessie shifted closer - if even possible at that point - and released a soft whine. They needed to get out of this weather. His next words would have broken her if she already hadn’t felt so hurt in the first place. Her jaws parted to respond but no words of comfort tumbled out from her lips. Instead she leaned forward and offered a friendly kiss to his cheek. He understood better than anyone how hard it was to lose someone. Finally, she opened her eyes a spoke, ”I’ve found you now and...you need to see a healer. Please?” At this point there was a note of panic and urgency in her voice. He was sick and now that he was near her home, the Tainn would be damned if she let anything happen to him.

Had he been more at his senses, he would've been terrified.

The dark clouds roiling in his mind, disjointed memories like lightning flashes—there and gone again. The tundra of his birthplace, the fear he'd grown up with for things he was not responsible for.. things he had not thought of in a long time had haunted him, until he'd lost all sense of time and space. He lived in whatever moment came to the forefront of his mind, be it of his childhood, Swift River, or Oak Tree Bend.

His incapability of holding on to the now, and his sense of self, was what would've scared him, had he been in any position to have a notion of it.

”Kisla is dead, Ice.” Oh. I knew that. Didn't I? It all turned into a blur of things associated with Kisla, from roaring rivers to a spring night by a lake, to her crying daughter and everything in between. His body rattled with another cough, and he began to lower his head; not dangerously so, but as if suddenly aware of how weary he was.

It's been so long.. but he didn't know what had been so long, the thought lost in the whirl of other thoughts. ”I’ve found you now and...you need to see a healer. Please?” Jessie's voice was tinged with something he normally did not recognize in her—urgency, fear almost. What for? For.. him? He felt the cold air burn in his lungs. Maybe she was right. Maybe he shouldn't be out here, under cold stars. His cloudy eyes found hers. "Oh.. okay," he said, but he didn't move. He didn't know where to go.

let the stars above shine in your soul

He looked so lost. That was probably what concerned Jessie most of all. Throughout all times that the Rye Queen knew the strong Guardian, never had he looked so confused and turned around. Ice had always been sure of himself and never hesitated to state what he thought about something. It was with some relief that he finally agreed to come with her, but that only lasted for a moment. The large man made no effort to move and Jessie's frown only deepened. Getting him to agree to come home with her was one thing, but lugging him all the way there was another. There was no way her petite frame would be able to support his large bulk all the way back to the Rye. She nuzzled underneath his chin gently, encouraging him to get on his feet. Her voice was coarse when she spoke next, "Come on then. Get up and let's go. We have things we need to do." Like getting you to the infirmary.

foxstox @DA & Dawnthieves.de

You wrap up in the next one? <3

Jessie's muzzle under his chin felt.. good, familiar, warm, like a thousand memories blurred into one, but here, now. Briefly, Ice's eyes closed, and he inhaled the mixture of searingly cold air and Jessie's scent. It was so much like what he remembered, and yet, so different.. slowly, his silver eyes opened again, and he blinked in the pale starlight.

Star light, star bright... The familiar words rolled over in his mind, tumbled around each other, and for a moment, he wondered what it would be like, to join them. To drift up.. all the way up into the dark abyss...

"Right," he mumbled in response to Jessie, heaving himself up on four aching paws, four aching legs; his thin shoulders jutted skywards underneath his thin, matted fur. He shook with another cough, blinked, wondering where they would be going, ready to follow her somewhere. Blind trust built upon years of memories.

let the stars above shine in your soul