Stonewatch Timbers Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved

All welcome, but special mention for @Bennet

Lenae ran until her legs gave out and even then she refused to stop, refused to stay.

Her sides heaved, as she dragged herself along the floor, like a deer who'd broken it's hind legs. Each movement was agony and yet she crawled on, pushing herself through the snow till... she could go no further. Her body wouldn't allow it, she had no strength left, nothing more to give. She slumped down, her chin hitting the ground as she stared up at the towering poplars.

The timbers. She knew this place, not as well as she'd like but...It was better than the alternative, if she was going to die then at least she'd have the trees for company.

In her heart of hearts she knew she shouldn't have left, or at least not like that   but...Even time wasn't unable to shift the haze in her mind, the sense of panic and terror, as unrelenting as it had been that day in the mountains. When she closed her eyes she saw them, her family, Deron and Wraith, all mangled and twisted, be it by disease or violence. Wretched ends for those who deserved so much more, so much better.

What was she supposed to do? What would the other's think of her? What of Cyril? Piety? They had lost the most and yet Lenae had left them to fend for themselves, to mourn their father and lover. A vicious, spiteful, part of her spat at the thought. So what? She'd been through it, suffered alone, at least they had one another. Lenae had no one left and it was all her fault.

She deserved no less.

Bennet had not yet decided if she would take up her uncle’s offer and return to the wild rye pack for a winter stay. She knew, in the back of her mind, the blue mountains’ pack was an option for her too, though that was a much more substantial journey, and there was much less opportunity for her now that uncles and cousins and cousins-once-removed had staked their claim on the sacred dragon ground.

Girls were not dragons, anyways.

Or so they said.

Even with fresh snow, the yearling found herself indecisively wandering about with no true direction in mind. No true purpose. And despite everything, that was what she wanted, in her heart of hearts. Bennet was old enough to know this. A faint huffing sound drew the youth from her thoughts, ears cupping forward as she recognized the strange shape as a slumped wolf.

“H-hello?” she called, and immediately scolded herself for. “Hello!” Bennet was much more intentional the second time. “You hurt?”

Lenae wasn't hurt, not physically anyway.

Were there herbs and plants to take away this sort of pain? Something she could chew to make it all go away? Probably not, since when had she ever been so fortunate? But that's all she wanted, peace, respite from the cold and the hurt and the loneliness. Clearly she was asking for too much, and in doing so was attracting misery like moths to an open flame. But what else was she supposed to do? Die clearly. The world had been telling her that from the start...she just didn't understand till now.

Knowing that didn't fill her with a sense of peace it just...Was it possible to hurt anymore than she already did? What had she done wrong? She tried to be good and kind, but none of that mattered in the end, she was never good enough and she never would be at this rate.

Her ears barely tipped at the sound of a stranger approaching. She had no fight left in her, if this was it then there was nothing left to say.

Instead, the stranger sounded concerned and went onto ask if she was hurt. Lenae's glassy gaze flitted over to the dark figure before her. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, nothing but a dry, wheezing breath. She tried again, and when she finally managed to speak her voice was hoarse and sore, as though she'd swallowed a hundred shards of ice.

"Yes....Can you make it stop? Please. I don't-I don't want to hurt anymore."Her voice wobbled as barely suppressed tears shoved to the surface once more.

Bennet padded closer before the stranger had even spoken up, fairly confident that someone in good health would not just lay around like that, especially in the colder weather. Her ears strained when the woman spoke, but the request – the black wolf stopped where she was, her brows furrowed. Stop what? The pain? The hurt? But what did that mean?

Breaking into a trot, the loner draw up next to the pale woman, leaning down to inspect her for wounds. But she didn’t see – or smell – any blood, or infection. In fact, besides being a bit skinny, and maybe her winter coat looked a bit thin, she seemed otherwise fine.

“What…what hurts?”

Everything, anything.

It was all too much for the little songbird, what was she supposed to do? Clamber to her feet and pretend all was fine? She might have been able to do that before, she had been feeling a little better but then @Wraith ... and all the blood. Now Lenae had nowhere or no one. Perhaps this was how it was meant to be.

The stranger inched closer and Leane spared them a quick glance as they sniffed at the air tentatively, no doubt checking for the scent of disease or festering wounds. Physically, she was wasn't doing great-that much was obvious- but the true issues were hidden well out of sight, deep inside of her chest and mind. She licked her dry lips and cast her gaze aside so that she didn't have to look at them, so they wouldn't see the shame in her eyes.

She couldn't...when she opened her mouth to speak all that came out was a shaky whine.

Even asking for help was too much for her to bare because...What if the past just repeated itself? What if she brought ruin into her life as well? Wraith had helped her out of the kindness of his heart and look where he ended up. And @Piety, what of her? She had taken great care to treat Lenae as a member of her family and what had Lenae done? Abandoned her in her time of need.

"Hurts...in my bones.She eventually admitted, her voice a mere ghost of it's former glory."And my head...I'm so tired Miss, I'm not sure I can anymore."