Mountain of Dire [bwp] everyone has a north star.

Late afternoon.  Open for one or two.  Rain showers.  41F/5C.

Well she’d turned around, and turned around again – and it seemed, by some luck, the crow had finally found her way to the foothills of Mount Dire. Mountain. Annabird was around here somewhere. The telltale sign of a pack (the same stink that accompanied the yearling and the one-eyed brute) wafted nearby, but there was no assurance it also homed Annabird.

Nothing was certain in this life. Nothing except death.

And coyotes, lately.

Namir grumbled under her breath and stretched out her front toes, debating on how she wanted to handle scaling the mountain this time. Last time, the mudslides had almost caught her. The weather had been drier, but not by much – she’d have to be careful. Treat it like sand.

Tagging @Lenae since that's who she's looking for lo l.

(This post was last modified: Aug 11, 2018, 05:12 PM by Namir. Edit Reason: bwp added. )

Week 6/7  Expectant mothers may start to feel uncomfortable and she may vomit occasionally due to the extra pressure against her stomach.... Basically she preggo as heck.

It wasn't safe to be roaming-or rather plodding about- in her condition. In only a few weeks time she would give birth to her first and only litter. If that wasn't reason enough to stay within the safe confines of the Tarn's borders, than what of all the coyotes that had claimed dominion over the mountain? Lenae had yet to see this new, bolder, type of coyote with her own eyes, but she knew they were out there.

And in all honesty, it scared her. It was fortunate that they had established the pack when they did, after all it seemed as though the Tarn's borders were the only things keeping the beasts at bay. But how long would this retaliative safety last? Would they realise that the Tarn wasn't as strong as it presented itself? What if they breached their defences, stormed in and emptied the caches? What if they tried to hurt her little ones?

Lenae swallowed thickly. She couldn't help but fear that settling on the mountain had been a mistake, that the sudden influx of coyotes was their way of trying to take back what was theirs. Maybe...they ought to give it to them. Perhaps if they left the mountain they'd all be safe, perhaps things were different down below.

Lenae had just wanted to check, it wasn't the smartest of moves but she'd never been a clever girl. Her head had never been screwed on quite as tightly as her siblings, a little daft but well meaning, that was the best way to describe Lenae. She hadn't even been walking long-if you could even call it that- but she was already tired, her insides hurt and her legs felt all wobbly. Moving over the mountainous terrain had never been a chore before, but then again she hadn't been all big and round as though she'd swallowed a giant egg whole.

Stumbling to a stop, Lenae took shelter beneath a bushy outcrop as she caught her breath. Her coat was already soaking wet, but she didn't mind. It wasn't cold out, it was quite refreshing actually, a little spring shower to chase her blues away. Only if that were possible.

Sitting upright, she curled her tail protectively around her side. She would rest for a little while then get on the move once more, up or down the mountain...she hadn't quite decided yet.

It seemed a bit strange that the wolf Namir planned to climb the mountain for wasn’t actually on the mountain at all today. Or perhaps it didn’t. Her luck – whilst she wouldn’t call it bad, per say – was a bit persnickety at the best of times. Had to be treated with a bit of humor, or her sanity would start fraying at the edges.

Whatever was left of it, at any rate.

The female gave Lenae a startled look, first that she didn’t realize another had been so nearby, and then again once she realized who it was. And what had happened to her, why she didn’t recognize the smell immediately. Oh.

Some feral part of her mind wanted to turn heel and run as fast as she could. Puppies don’t work like that. Y’can’t catch ‘em, y’damn idiot, she chided herself, and then reoriented, carefully trying to stumble over to Lenae with minimal self-imposed damage. “Seems like a weird spot t’camp out, Annabird.”

Lenae's ears tipped forward as her eyes lit up, all bring and sunny, a wonderful contrast to the rainy day. She would recognise that nickname anywhere! If it had been anyone else calling out to her she might have flinched, or at the very least got a little spooked, but not Crow. They were friends, good ones, she hoped.

"Oh! Well...I'm- I just needed a moment to catch my breath. It's a bit of a climb."

And that was true enough, even the most fleet-footed of wolves would struggle on their best of days to scale the mountain in one go. But it went without saying why she had really stopped to rest, the big old elephant in the room that-hopefully- didn't need addressing. Perhaps if Lenae had been the observant type she would have noticed the flicker of repulsion in Crow's eyes, but as things stood she was too busy smiling and swishing her fluffy tail to notice.

"It's good to see you again, Crow." She inched a little closer.

“Oh, yeah. It is. Came ‘round tryin’ t’ see ya, actually. ‘Cos I promised.”

She wasn’t actually sure if Annabird remembered that part. But she did. Namir didn’t have many friends, maybe only the one. After a moment, she ambled a little closer, casually invading the safe, slightly drier space the older wolf had carved out for herself. “Y’gotta be careful, Annabird. Mountain’s been awful persnickety in this shit weather.”

She paused, wondering if she should mention the coyotes – or if that would just make it worse. Like mentioning them would make them appear or something. “Hey – what’s yer real name? I was tryin’ t’ ask someone if they knew ya, th’ other day, an’… They didn’ know any Annabird, so…”

Lenae took no offence at all to Crow shimmying closer, if that's where she wanted to be then it was fine by her. Crow made a fair point though, these parts weren't very safe anymore if they had ever been. Lenae shuffled, her tail curling even tighter around her as she shrugged, more than a little sheepish. Perhaps she was a fool to wander off in her condition, but she'd needed a little time and space and well...the mountain had bucketfuls of the latter.

"I know, I just- a lot has happened Crow. I'm tired." Was that an excuse? Probably not, but it was how she felt, deep down, hidden beneath all the fluff and false hope.

Her real name? Lenae tensed, her fur stood on end as she stared wide-eyed ahead. How had she found out? For quite some time Lenae had chosen to call herself Everly. It had all been a ruse, an attempt to make a fresh start with a new- or rather, stolen- identity. But it hadn't worked, in time awful had caught up and well....Lenae had picked up her real name, even if only to show her friends she trusted them. She supposed Crow deserved that too. Not that- oh, she sagged in relief. Ah yes, Annabird. She had gotten herself all worked up over nothing, everything was okay.

"It's Lenae."She lightly bumped into Crow with her shoulder as a silly little smile appeared on her lips. "Nice to meet you."

“Ain’t we all?”

Namir wasn’t sure if she was referring to the fact that she was pregnant, or maybe the sudden influx of coyotes, or maybe just something in her pack. Pack drama politics was why she’d only lasted a month or two at that Polka Dot place anyways. (Polka dot made more sense than Pooka whatever.)

That was life though. Shit happened, then you died.

That seemed too harsh to say to her friend though (she’d say it to anyone else, but Annabird was different – she named her for a hummingbird for a reason, after all), so she just stayed silent, waiting for the name. That it was a struggle did not bother her at all. She’d never… She didn’t…

“Nice to meet ya,” she said, voice suddenly harsh. “I’m gonna tell you a secret, Annabird. Lenae. Y’can’t tell anyone, okay? Only two other wolves know, an’ they’re dead.” She paused, realizing that sounded very ominous. “Uh, I didn’ do that part. Killin’ ‘em. My mama was one an’ she got…killed. I never did find out what happened.” A sigh. “Other one was th’ wolf I was named after but she was real sick when I met her. Think she died shortly after.”

It felt like her throat was parched. Tight. Like her voice was just rasping out. “My name, though. My Mama named me Namir Corvus Barreda. Namir, after her friend. Corvus, m’ father’s family name. An’ Barreda. Hers. But I ain’t none of those things, not really.” The words had started and they just wouldn’t stop. “I was born t’ the Crow’s Crossin’ pack. My father’s pack, Orin – but he had a mate, see. I was jus’…a punishment. T’ keep my Mama there an’ keep his mate on her toes. Like she was replacable, too. An’ me, I was…a thing, I guess. A tool. A Lil’ Crow. Get it? A Crow, ‘cos that’s the pack, I belonged t’ th’ pack. S’all I was.”

She paused for a while.

“An’ th’ thing was, Annabird. I was okay with that. I felt useful… ‘cos I had a job. An’ I did it. And I weren’t say he was proud, never effusive or nothin’, but I was useful, an’ that was almost better. Was okay.” Was certainly better than what he thought of her mother. That was the point. That was why it felt okay, she supposed, because she wasn’t ‘the worst’. Desideria was the omega, not her. And as a child, foolish and not yet wise to the world, she thought it would stay that way. Of course it didn’t, though. Her mother fled, and she had two options: find Desideria and bring her back to Crow’s Crossing, or become the omega in her stead. It really wasn’t much of an option, as far as Crow was concerned – especially that she would also be an adult in the coming spring, and that meant she would be a true omega. Things would change. She didn’t want her own ‘punishment’ trailing along after her. Not that she had friends (not then) to run to, or anything more motivated that she might need warding against, but the stakes were set, and her choice was made, and she came to Relic Lore.

And she was still Lil’ Crow.

And then she found the wolves, she found the runaway Desideria Barreda (or what remained of her), she found the wolves she’d been traded in for. Kajika was nothing special, as far as she could tell, and Namid was little more than a fragile old woman only a day or two away from withering altogether. That was what she was left behind for. It stung. Horribly. And she could have returned to Crow’s Crossing then, probably – she doubted Orin really cared if Desideria was dead or alive, only that she paid for the crimes committed against his pack and his pride. She could have returned and escaped the fate of Lowest. But she didn’t.

She remained in Relic Lore, and she remained Lil’ Crow. And then she saw her second spring and figured maybe she wasn’t so little anymore – certainly didn’t feel it – but still felt every ounce a ‘Crow’. That was just a word applied to her, sure, but she didn’t have any other ones. Namir felt strange and heavy in her mouth, like talking about some stranger instead of herself. Even admitting it to Lenae just now, calling it her name instead of ‘what my Mama called me’ felt almost like a lie, almost felt untrue. She wasn’t pretty or graceful or talented enough to be a Namir.

She was rough and hard and cruel, with dark, glittering eyes and hollow bones and a tiny bird’s heart in her chest somewhere, like a crow. And if she wasn’t one of those magnificent, thieving birds, she might well be a coyote. She was the right color, right shape. Even had the same lean, mean scowl and that desire to take anything that wasn’t hers. She didn’t feel like she ought to be a wolf, and certainly didn’t feel like she ought to be a ‘Namir’, named after a woman her mother honored and cherished. She wasn’t honored. Cherished.

Guh. Her heart hurt. Her chest squeezed and her ribs twisted around her lungs, holding them like a skeleton cage as she struggled to breath. The younger woman stared forward, almost blankly. She wished she could take all of it back, but she’d already told the truth of it. Her name. Her full name. No one knew that about her. No one at all. She wasn’t even sure why she felt like she ought to have told Lenae.

Namir sighed. “So uh, yeah. It’s a secret. Don’t… Don’t tell no one, okay? I ain’t sure if my father’s ever gonna come lookin’ for me but… If he does, I at least want th’ bastard t’ have t’ work for it, yanno?”

She wasn’t her mother. She wouldn’t just lay down and die.

Mine is the iron will.

The conversation soon became heavy, and Lenae wasn't quite sure how she felt about it. She'd never interrupt her friend, especially if there was something she had to get off her chest, but was she the right person to tell this all to? Lenae wasn't very wise, she feared that if her friend needed advise she wouldn't have the right words to offer. So instead she listened and for once Crow had so much to say. 

Lenae's ears flicked to the side as she took it all in. So she was hiding too? Pretending to be someone she wasn't, sort of. Was that why they both got along so well, that they were both lost, adrift in a world that didn't treat them right? Their backgrounds were so different. Lenae had been raised in a land of plenty, had wanted for nothing but had it all torn down before her very eyes. Crow, Namir? She'd never had a chance to feel as though she belonged, like she was wanted...And that thought broke Lenae's heart. Worse yet, Namir claimed she was okay with it all, that none of her hardships bothered her. Lenae wanted to believe, to think that her friend could be so strong but...Maybe she really was, maybe not everyone was as weak and pathetic like Lenae was. Maybe this was something she could aspire to, strength.

"I won't tell." Lenae struggled to find her voice once Namir was done."Promise."

So what now? A simple little meeting had turned into so much more, what was left to say? The rain continued to fall down and it filled the silence between them with it's soothing rush. Lenae licked her lips as she rummaged through her mind, now would be the time to say something deep, meaningful. Shame Lenae had never been any good at that, her words had always been so light, airy. Maybe even a little hollow.

"Just glad you're here Namir."Her smile was slight, but genuine. "I screwed up." She flicked her tail, motioning to her round tummy. She guessed it was time to be at least a little honest.

In the distance there is a large pack of coyotes howling.

Mistakes happen.

That’s what she wanted to say, anyways. Her mouth went dry, mildly aware that Lenae might have thought (at least at the time) that this was something she wanted. Her whiskers flicked forward and back, and then she sighed, offering her friend a tired smile. It was only half there, but it was an honest one – a rarity, as far as Crow was concerned.

“Shit happens, Annabird. Lenae. Which one ‘m I supposed to call ya again?” Her brows screwed together. Namir wasn’t exactly what you might call an erudite, and though her friend gave her true name, she wasn’t actually sure which one the woman preferred. “But anyways. I was a mistake, yanno? An’ I turned out okay. So whether ya meant to or not, ‘m sure yer pup’ll be fine. Yer way sweeter than my own Ma was anyhow, so they gotta step up.”

If she had more to say, it died on her tongue at the sound of a distant song. A coyote song. There were a lot of voices. Namir swallowed hard, getting quickly to her feet. “C’mon. We gotta get you back t’ th’ pack. Gotta head start on ‘em, an’ I’d bet my tail they won’t cross over.”

They hadn’t yet, anyways, and it was the best bet she had.