The Wildwood let me be your guide

OOC: for @Garmir takes place directly after their fight

when I'm bad I'm better

Vaken would have been lying to say that Garmir’s actions hadn’t upset him at first. He was a young, moody boy and being jolted away before bed to fight was well- frustrating. The small male was already fatigued, constantly being badgered by coyotes, hungry. It hadn’t been play fighting to the yearling. It had been too aggressive, too strategic. In the moment, it had felt life-threatening. He had been startled by it. It had overwhelmed him, evoking a lot of emotion. He assumed that had been the point, but he was bitter.

He stayed curled up on the ground, grooming the fur along his side, checking for wounds. He was in fine condition, but it didn’t hurt just to check. He hoped the action would make Garmir feel guilty, even though it was dramatic. He took little licks along his flank, exhaling deeply through his mouth. He kept his gaze trained on his pelt, refusing to look at his mentor for any length of time.

He understood, but that didn’t mean he had liked it. He could feel the anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. A bit of bile rose to the roof of his mouth, tasting sour against his tongue. He was starting to come down from the adrenaline high, but he needed a moment. He could feel the soreness now in his legs, the ache of exertion. He was so tired, but his mind was too alert to allow him to relax fully. He couldn’t go to bed in this condition. Angrily ripping out a burr from his side, the yearling spat it in the direction of Garmir. His eyes were slits, but it was obvious that he only had a case of sour grapes. Once he calmed down, he’d be fine.

(This post was last modified: Sep 18, 2018, 10:13 PM by Vaken.)

currently travelling with Circe (she can jump in any of his threads)

Garmir remained silent, standing few feet away from his apprentice in calm but attentive state. While his eyes were gazing ahead into the night, he was closely listening the boy he had just attacked to learn of him. Vaken had put up a fight and for that the earthen male had earned few scratches himself. There was still coppery taste in his mouth from their exchange as Garmir had struck with intent to hurt. While it might appear cruel to some, to him this was nessesery. Vaken would never forget this lesson - that he was certain of.

He had now given Vaken enough time to calm down and groom himself. As he finally turned his eyes on his apprentice, he saw Vaken with his pouty face, understandably so. The boy had spat something at Garmir's way and he let out humoured huff in reply. "You are angry at me" -he observed, deciding it was best to simply talk things through with Vaken without any sugar coating to his words. If Garmir was going to be anything to his student - it would be honest and to a point. "From here on, when I catch you sleeping I will make approach. You will twitch your ear to tell me you are aware of my presence - otherwise this will repeat again. This is for your own good." -He stated, fully expecting there would be some kind of protest over this.

This was exactly how Garmir was trained to be on alert. He had been angry to his own mentor himself, even gone as far as plotting to hurt him in turn, but all of this had made him better survivor - even saved his life a few times. If Vaken thruly wanted to remain loner, learning to sleep lightly was among the first things he ought to do.

(This post was last modified: Sep 19, 2018, 11:09 AM by Garmir.)

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You realize that two coyotes have been following you.

OOC: sigh coyotes

when I'm bad I'm better

Being sulky and quiet could only get Vaken so far. He huffed, stopped grooming his fur and placed his head on his paws. He did that for a few seconds, staring blankly at Gamir. He kept quiet, letting the other male’s words sink in. He repeated them in his mind, digesting the terms he was given. He wanted to hiss and stomp and deny his mentorship, tell him that he was fine without it, but deep down he knew it was for the best as well. He just didn’t want to admit it. No, instead he wanted to be a brat.

Eventually, he nodded. Not an enthusiastic nod, but a small, subtle jerk of the head. He was agreeing to the man’s conditions, but skeptically. They didn’t make much sense to him. How could he be alert, if he was asleep? It seemed far-fetched, completely impossible. If Vaken could, he’d never fall asleep anywhere near the brute. It wasn’t worth the risk. He’d find somewhere else safe to relax, somewhere he didn’t need to keep one eye open. While he thought it was quite clever in the moment, it was a flawed strategy. Not only could Garmir easily follow his scent, but with the coyotes so plentiful in the lore, Vaken had no choice but to sleep near the border. Even now, he could smell the faint scent of coyote on the breeze. He wasn’t sure how old it was, but it was distant. If the vermin arrived, it wouldn’t be for a bit of time. He’d have to follow Garmir to the pack border to sleep. He couldn’t outrun this.




“I don’t like it.” His tail twitched behind him like it belonged to an angry cat. “It’s not fair.” He scowled, the words spilling out. He had broken the seal, now expressing himself rapidly as if to speak all his thoughts at once. “Attacking at night is cowardly. I was asleep! Who attacks when you’re sleeping? The coyotes treat me with more respect-”

He took in a deep breath, stumbling over his own words. He exhaled, shut his eyes and growled softly. “I don’t like it.”

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Garmir's demand might have felt impossible for the young wolf, but he knew from experience that if conditioned right, eventually one's mind would subconciously begin filtering sounds and scents even while sleeping to alert oneself of danger approaching. He wasn't going to hurt Vaken again as much as he had done tonight, but he wanted to install fear of proper beating into him if he decided to dismiss what Garmir wanted out of him. He wasn't cruel - he did not even enjoy this - but making Vaken understand this lesson was important.

He looked at the boy and listened his protest patiently. Allowing his apprentice to make questions and challenge him was part of this training. Garmir knew Vaken was too much of a rebel to ever submit under authority. He wondered if Vaken even knew what true submission was and so he was going to train him by example - rather than sheer domination. Vaken was right however; This wasn't fair - unless Garmir would subject himself under same conditions. As the boy repeated again how he did not like this, closing his eyes - Garmir moved closer, pressing his nose against Vaken's forehead. "The world isn't fair, Vaken - but I will be." -Garmir murmured in reply, before looking over his head into the darkness again. He smelled coyotes. "I ask nothing of you I can't do myself. If you manage to sneak on me while I am sleeping... then I won't demand this of you." -He suggested, perhaps provoking Vaken to try such a stunt later.

He laid down besides the youngster and then let out deep huff, before recounting his own similar experience. "I was angry too at my mentor when he first did this... and the few times after, but he never did it out of cruelty. I learned fast to sleep lightly and I do to this day because of him. You can't expect your enemy to first wake you up before attacking you - can you?"

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when I'm bad I'm better

The small gesture was soothing, Garmir’s nose pressed lightly against his forehead. He leaned into it, closing his eyes momentarily. It was a subtle act, a sign of comfort and solace. He wouldn’t have admitted it, but it meant a lot. When Garmir pulled back, Vaken opened his eyes, his body language more open and vulnerable than before. He felt safe again.




When the larger male spoke, the yearling truly put effort into listening. He did not make any noise, not even a sigh. Instead, he considered the possibly that Garmir knew how he felt- that he had experienced it too. The yearling moved his gaze across his mentor’s body, counting the scars that lined his fur. Vaken had taken notice of them before, but not like this. Now he was really thinking about them, about the life Garmir had lived up until now. He was a strong wolf. He knew how to fight. Vaken had never considered how the man had learned to protect himself. Not until did now did he ever consider that the scarred brute had been trained, taught, reprimanded and rewarded. “You’re right.” He looked away sheepishly. “I understand now.”




He didn’t feel obligated to explain it more. He suspected Garmir understood even more than he let on. His mentor must have known the emotions that came along with it, must have known how difficult it was for the yearling to accept the situation for what it was. He turned his head slightly, moving his gaze back to Garmir. “What was your mentor like? I mean,” he fumbled mentally for the right words. “Did he give you those scars?” He gestured along the man’s face with a flick of his tail. Despite claiming that his mentor had not been cruel, Vaken suspected the two had different ideas on the definition. He dropped his tail, tucking it around his body tightly for warmth.

currently travelling with Circe (she can jump in any of his threads)

It seemed like Garmir was getting through with his reasoning, Vaken admitting he was right. Was it because Garmir had offered the boy tiniest sign of affection with his gesture? Perhaps all Vaken needed was someone to show he mattered, that Garmir cared for him in his own way. He knew already the boy had trouble accepting authority, that he wanted to be free. Garmir wanted to make sure Vaken understood he did not seek to break or mold the boy into something he desired - but rather improve his skill set and teach him to survive better. Of course - he wasn't doing this out of his good heart, no. It was mutually beneficial arrangement as long as Vaken kept his part of the deal.

It seemed Vaken was interested learning more about Garmir's own mentor and what he had experienced under Eden. None of this was secret of course, but the story was quite long tale to share in one sitting. He seemed to be curious over if Garmir himself had felt his teachers fangs upon him - if the extensive collection of scars and markings on his body were his doing. Garmir let out humoured chuckle, smiling at the question and responding quite happily. He lowered his muzzle a little bit to reveal the one cut near the tip of his nose. "This one, yes. And few other minor ones. None of the bigger marks come from him however. He never tried to maim me and I'm not planning to do it to you either.." -Garmir assured while straightening his muzzle again. The smell of coyotes was still lingering in the air but Garmir could not see any in the darkness. He narrowed his eyes for a moment while staring away, at the same time continuing;

"Eden was old. Ten winters already by the time he chose me. I was to be last wolf he'd ever teach and he taught me well, far better than what I can teach you. He could be harsh - but he was always fair. I had some trouble accepting him at first - I was much greater rebel than what you are, Vaken." -He turned his eyes on the boy and gave him a grin, for a moment showing glimpse of the old Garmir that once were - before the expression was gone again, turning almost melancolic. "I thruly miss him now... always felt safe near him. I could trust him and that was rare feeling in the Greater Pack."

Garmir went silent for a while, allowing Vaken to think what he had heard and form up more questions if he had any. Garmir had one for his student however. "Do you know what trust is Vaken?" -he asked, turning his eyes now directly at the boy, obviously not asking what the dictionary definition of the word was, but rather what it meant to the young man.

(This post was last modified: Sep 21, 2018, 12:32 AM by Garmir.)

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when I'm bad I'm better

The conversation was heavy, difficult to have, but not horrific. The yearling was heavily engaged, hanging onto Garmir’s every word. It was inarguably bringing the men closer. Vaken could feel his comfort in Garmir growing with each story he told, pieces of his life mending the bridge between them. He had not spoken so openly with anyone like this. Of course, he spoke of his past with Ferreiran- but this was so different than that. Garmir was sharing his life too. There was an unspoken agreement between the two men that night after fighting, that things were going to be different now. He was reassured by his mentor, knowing that he wasn’t going to suffer tremendously under his teeth. “Good,” he mumbled. “I’m not ready to ruin my beautiful face.”

He was only half-joking. Theoretically, scars were cool, but Vaken was equally afraid of the pain and infection as he was committing to disfigurement. It matched Garmir. Garmir was strong, brutish. The yearling couldn’t help feel embarrassed at the idea of marking up his face like that. He would look silly. His attention was quickly brought back on track at the man’s words: I was much greater rebel than what you are, Vaken. The boy would have been inclined to disbelieve. For a moment he wondered if Garmir was lying, just trying to make himself sound more relatable. When he smiled though, the scruffy yearling could see it. The glistening mischief, gone as quickly as it had appeared. He wasn’t lying. It scared him almost, how quickly the emotion had been replaced, but he kept quiet and let the adult continue.




Eden sounded a lot like Garmir- the only Garmir Vaken knew. He sounded strong and admirable. Vaken saw his mentor like that too, especially now, resting beside each other in the cool of the autumn night. Garmir was powerful, and the boy looked at him with admiration and envy. It was the man’s next question that really caught the boy off guard. Trust? He lowered his eyes to the ground, almost ashamed. It was a difficult question to answer. One he wanted to avoid answering, but knew he couldn’t. That wasn’t what this conversation was about. The other man had done his part being open, the adolescent knew this was his chance too. It was his chance. “No,” he whispered. His voice was so quiet, he felt even more ashamed of his weakness. “Not unconditionally.” He timidly moved his face back towards his mentor and offered a small, uncomfortably forced smile. “I have never trusted anyone fully.”

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Garmir's question seemed to evoke feeling of shame or uncomfort in his apprentice. He noted how Vaken looked down and replied in whisper, clearly not finding the topic pleasant. The boy however admirably did not retreat into his shell but admitted he hadn't felt trust towards anyone ever - even managing to look at Garmir while revealing this. To Garmir trust was absolute - although he recognized it might be because of how his character was built to be. Where Vaken might have different kinds of trust, to Garmir there was only trust and mistrust. Vaken had never been subject to same conditioning as him, so he wasn't sure if he should try to teach the boy this part or not. The earthen male looked back into those yellow eyes, tilting his head slightly as he bondered. A brief moment and he then lowered his eyes down between them, now smiling himself. "Nothing to be ashamed of. I trust very few myself. At this point only one"

He sighed while pawing the ground lightly, still undecided how to share his idea with his apprentice. He chose to explain his view through story again. "I trusted my mentor. Unconditionally as you said but to me it was easy. I had been conditioned to trust my leaders without question - like a good little soldier I was. I was a fool of course. Never knew any better." -He smiled even wider now, finding his blindness to the truth so silly now. He leaned in closer to whisper into Vaken's ear. "My teacher however... never lost my trust. You know why?" -He asked with an tiniest of whisper, holding a brief pause before giving answer. "Because he trusted me."

Garmir fell back a little, allowing those words and their meaning to sink in for a while. He meanwhile shifted into taller posture even when remaining laying down, then surprisingly turning his nose sky high while exposing his throat to his apprentice. "Put your jaws around my troat, proper - like you would with intent to kill." -He instructed, appearing surprisingly relaxed despite what he was attempting.

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OOC: the drama is KILLING ME

when I'm bad I'm better

Vaken was caught off guard. He had not been expecting his mentor to be so open, so vunerable- both physically and mentally. It was a lot to take it. He was scared by it. He had never felt so close to a person as he was in this moment. The more Garmir spoke, the more information was revealed to the yearling. He pieced the story together in his head, but didn’t dare ask anymore questions. Not because he thought it would upset Garmir, but because he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear everything. There was a lot to Garmir that the boy did not understand. He was already choking down a large pill though, and decided to wait to inquire more.

He looked at Garmir’s neck in terror. While he never tried to hide his neck from the man, he couldn’t imagine being so exposed. How could he invite such danger? The yearling was not going to hurt Garmir. He had no intention of murder. It would have been against his better judgment, his goals and aspirations. Garmir was teaching him, his mentor. Despite that though, Vaken couldn’t wrap his mind around the trust exercise. The yearling would never expose his neck like that to anybody.




He fumbled for a solution. Part of him longed to reach out and place his teeth around the man’s throat gently, accepting the trust. He wanted to be open. He wanted to feel trust so completely. His heart burned, making his entire body feel warm. His mind was a flurry of thoughts, scattered and conflicting. He felt like throwing up.




The rustling of fallen leaves on the floor caught his attention. The noise of it jolted him from his internal battle, moving closer towards the men. It had come from the shadows, met with three pairs of glowing eyes. The yearling cursed himself for not smelling them sooner, not realizing they were approaching so quickly. It was too late now. “Coyotes,” he whispered. “We should get moving.”

currently travelling with Circe (she can jump in any of his threads)