Charred Ash Draw Let's not give the game away

For @Draven <3

please don't say you love me

cause i might not say it back

She had been to the creek, as briefly as she could bare to be away, a fat, limp muskrat clutched between her jaws as she raced back towards the Draw. With any luck, it would amuse @Scorpius and @Aquaria enough to keep them within the borders for another day. Even knowing their father was watching over them didn't settle the anxious flip-flop of her stomach whenever they were out of sight. She had been lucky this time, but the scar over Suka's hip reminded her that she wouldn't always be so lucky, especially with so many coyotes crawling all through the forest.

Dropping the rodent between the children in an attempt to entice a round of tug-o-war, she wearily walked towards Draven, flopping next to him unceremoniously, allowing their coats to mingle as her heavy head dropped to her outstretched forelimbs. Honestly, she probably could have used the meal herself but she didn't dare to take her eyes off the cubs long enough to eat. She tried to offer the dark wolf a reassuring smile, but all she managed to do was grimace as she fought down a yawn. She was sure that none of this had been easy on him either, and now that he was leading by her side, they'd barely been given a chance to address the change. With Garmir scouting and Kerberos gone, bodies were light on the ground. "Do you think I should go touch base with the willows?" She hadn't been back since touching base with Leotie. "There's meant to be a pack down by the Lagoon too, maybe we can team up and run these coyotes off or something." Not that she was keen to be away from any of them. Not yet.

Parenting this year were both easier and worse than the year before. Easier because he has some experience and he wasn’t losing energy trying to force a relationship that wasn’t meant to be. Harder because now his energy was not only being used as a father and a healer but also as a leader. A change that had been subtle and somewhat unintentional. His protectiveness over Treyah and their children had been enough to spur on postural changes and with that his own rank. While unintentional he had to admit that it felt right to be leading by her side while they raised their pups.

No matter how right it felt though it was exhausting. The alpha smiled at the tawny woman as she dropped the carcass down for the children to play with and leaned into her touch. Licking behind her ear affectionately before settling his head down on his paws he sighed. He wouldn’t have minded much if they had just taken a nap but Treyah had other ideas. Glancing at her sideways he hummed, ”That sounds like a good idea for the fall when the pups are older.” Had he been founder of the scout he might have suggested sending Garmir, but he still didn’t trust the way he fawned over the female alpha. So instead he added nothing else.

turn your face towards the sun

Let the shadows fall behind you

He was in agreement, though they had different thoughts on the timing. He had a point, it wasn't like they had the members to spare right now, but it still made her uneasy that already one of their children had wandered off far enough to wind up within the borders of another pack. What if it hadn't been the kindly leader of a neighbouring pack that found them? What if it had been coyotes instead? She kept her anxiety to herself, not wanting to add to Draven's burden any more than she already had. Maybe she had never been meant to lead at all. Maybe having children was the wrong idea? After all, she was barely an adult herself, all of this had been thrust upon her so suddenly, what seemed right yesterday didn't necessarily hold water today. Why was nothing ever straight forward?

The Tainn drew a deep breath, at least she wasn't alone in this anymore, and offered her co-lead a smile as she tried to allow herself to relax. "But how are you doing? It can't be easy keeping on top of your medicines and the rest of the pack?" She was better at worrying he wasn't looking after himself than realising she was doing just that.

It was not lost on the man that already one of their children had wandered much farther than they were supposed to. But, they had been returned and come back, which was so different than what had happened the year previous with Sachiel. Suddenly Draven felt a pang of guilt, he had been so busy recently that he had not had time to visit his teenage son. How was it that he felt like he was both improving as a father and continuing to fail?

Humming for a moment after Treyah didn’t acknowledge what he had said - even he knew by now this was a sign of her uncertainness- he tried to sweeten the deal. ”Maybe by then if we have a couple more members we could go together, you and the children could come and meet Sachiel.” They were his siblings afterall, and Treyah was his - something, hsi co-lead he supposed.

Glancing sideways towards the woman he gave her a tired smile. ”I’m managing, but Treyah how are you.” He wasn’t sure he had ever seen her this tired before, and he had seen her in the moments after she had given birth.

Casually and confident lookin' at the mess I am

It would seem some tension left the young leader's shoulders as Draven continued to plead his case. It made sense, to wait until @Aquaria and @Scorpius were old enough to travel with them, to go and meet their older brother over the mountain. If her idea of the general area was right they could stop by Oak Tree Bend to see her sister and any children she might have had this year too. "You're right, it'd be better if we went as..." She almost slipped up and called them a family, but they kind of were, weren't they? "a group." She settled on in the end. She doubted he needed her making things awkward.

When he turned her own question back on her, she had to blink twice then thrice in an attempt to banish the burning that started to build behind her eyes. She looked away and drew a deep breath, unprepared for the waves of exhaustion and emotion to crash down on her with such a simple question. She forced a smile, though there was a tell-tale glassiness to her eyes, a shakiness to the words that left her mouth. "I'm alright! Really! Fine! I just need a bit more sleep is all..." She knew she probably didn't have to hold it together in front of Draven of all wolves, but still she took the time to try and quietly take a few deep breaths to banish the prickling at the corner of her eyes and the way her chest constricted with panic at the thought of what might happen if she dared to close her eyes. Her voice came out much smaller than she had planned when she finally dared to let her deepest fears be heard. "I just have to convince myself they'll still be there when I wake up is all."

But still you, still you want me

He couldn’t help but feel relief when Treyah relaxed her shoulders and agreed to his plan, even if the use of the word ‘group’ left him with a strange sting. He wasn’t sure what he would call them either, but calling them a group seemed so impersonal, any wolves who were in the same area could be a group. Surely they were more than that? Draven didn’t know how to describe it or even where his thoughts were on the matter but thankfully he didn’t have too long to think about it.

His dark head tilted as Treyah tried to insist that she was fine, despite the tears that seemed just moments away and the uncharacteristic breaking in her voice. Shuffling a little closer Draven pressed his side to hers and gave her a deeper look, clearly not believing the lie that she was trying to pass over him. It would seem that all of this would be unnecessary when her fears were voiced without much further prodding from him. Sighing he turned his own attention back to the pups, a sick knot forming in his stomach and threatening to swallow him from the inside out. But, with it came an iron resolve, ”I will do everything possible to make sure they’re always here when you wake up.” Then, glancing sideways towards the woman he added, ”And, if they aren’t, then I won’t sleep again until they’re back by your side.” It was a vow he was sure he could keep, he had chased Sachiel all over the mountain, It could become a tradition if it had to be.

doesn't mean my heart stops skipping

Treyah hadn't intended for her comment to be incendiary but it sparked a little fire within herself, even if she wasn't sure it had done the same to Draven. She was momentarily distracted by his comments, the words sinking in and leaving her with a warm feeling all over, a shy grin pulling at the corners of her mouth as she watched him from the corner of her eye. Draven was right, of course. She wasn't in this alone, they were his children too, which only left her angrier at herself for calling them a group. It really was past time to be dancing around the issue. He was leading beside her, and he had been hands-on from the very start.

Her grin gave way to a more serious expression and she turned to meet his eyes.

"A family. We'll go as a family." She fought off the sick sinking feeling that he might baulk at her suggestion. Maybe she'd been reading this all wrong from the start.

when you look at me like that