Lost Lake Try to Hold on to the Time as it Passes

For @Chan <3

The sun was just dipping behind the trees on the horizon, sending its last, blazing rays op into the cloudless sky in great, radiant streaks. Below, on the banks of the lake, sat a lone figure, gazing into the crystal blue waters. Her reflection, clad in fiery fur to rival the display above, stared back with an enigmatic expression; brows slightly furrowed over narrowed eyes. It was about the time when she usually headed out to hunt, the smaller critters emerging under cover of dusk, hoping to avoid the eyes of hungry predators.   But this evening, Flair felt uncommonly lonely. While she was usually more than happy to keep to herself, taking in the social part of pack life in small doses, there was something about to night that made her melancholic. She would have enjoyed company on her hunt, but no one had been around when she’d gone looking, and she was still too introverted to actively seek others out to ask. So instead she had done her normal routine, taking a stroll along a length of border, waiting for sundown. And now she was stalling, unsure what exactly it was that weighed her down tonight, and even more dubious on what to do about it. ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Chan's sleep schedule had once again disintegrated into spaced out naps throughout the entire twenty-four hour cycle, trying to assure that he was available at virtually all times, just in case he was needed. Still, when the sun set, the clock set deep within his skull ticked to life, waking him as surely as any alarm would. With a yawn and a stretch, Chan cleared the sleep from his body and set off, exiting the den and heading down the ravine-like path toward the water.

Ahead, it was easy to recognize Flair's burning silhouette. Chan smiled.

"Heya stranger," he joked lightly as his paws brought him to her side. His mismatched eyes regarded her dial before turning toward the horizon, taking in the sunset sky once more.

"Stunning, right?"

Hearing approaching paws, she half turned to glance over her shoulder, the furrow in hear brow smoothing out as she spotted Chan, a soft smile wiping the consternation from her face. She cocked her head slightly at his greeting giving a little snort by way of reply. Sure, they hadn’t been hanging out so much lately, but that was just as much by way of his stand-in-alpha duties as her dedication to her work. Either way, she knew there was no spite behind the term, nor did she feel any ill will – she was in fact rather happy to have him to herself for a moment.   As his attention turned to the sky, her eyes followed suite, squinting at the dying light, still too bright, even in these last moments. The fiery girl nodded solemnly at her companion’s comment before turning her head down and away from the light with a small grimace. “But a bit hard on th’ eyes,” She drawled, blinking a few times before looking back over at Chan. “D’you even have time t’ be lookin’ at sunsets anyway?” She asked with heavy sarcasm, a teasing half smile flashed his way; “Shouldn’t y’ be chasin’ off coyotes or somethin’” She couldn’t help but haggle him a little, seeing him fill in for Al just seemed so strange, but it was all in good fun. Word count: ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Chan smiled at her first remark, an expression that turned wry as Flair continued talking. The most tiring part about leading so far had simply been never having an assigned time for sleep. It wasn't like the wolves here were high-maintenance by any means, or like Aleister had handed him anything less than a smoothly running pack.

"Figured I'd let them regroup and gather their forces, make the fight more even for 'em."

He settled in, sitting down upon the rocky ground.

"We ride rams at dawn."

A yawn forced its way out of his throat, parting his jaws and stretching his tongue.

"Doesn't really even feel like leading. I just get asked more questions is all."

She snickered openly at his response, shooting up her brows and flashing her teeth at his declaration. “Well count me in!” She declared, her tail swishing excitedly at the notion of fighting of some scavengers, even imaginary ones.   The yawn brought a more serious expression to her face, brow creasing slightly. She wondered briefly if he was getting enough sleep, cocking her head to one side as she looked him over. But as soon as the thought entered her mind, she brushed it off, mentally shaking her head at herself; He can take care of himself! She instantly felt ridiculous, for reading too much into a simple yawn, and was relieved to jump on his next comment – hopefully before he noticed her acting weird.   “Tha’s all leading is most ‘f th’ time,” she answered quickly, then, afraid to come off as bigheaded, she added: “At least ‘t was for my parents. They were always off dealing with on thing or another, like th’ whole pack were their pups…” She smiled a little melancholically at the thought, continuing, mostly to herself: “Ma was always so kind to everyone.” Focusing back on Chan, she grinned evilly; “Except the coyotes of course!” ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Like they were their pups stuck in his ears, ringing quite true. It was a very apt way to describe how he felt at times; like he'd teleported from youth into the role of a grandpa, gently steering adult and child alike. Even that, however, vastly overestimated the amount of work actually required of him. Chan kept awake as many hours in a day as he could, but it was nearly always just in case. Certainly no one needed him lording over them or doling out orders. They knew what to do to care for themselves and each other. In other words: they didn't really need him, he was just another set of paws and one more cloud to add to brainstorming.

"Sounds like they were great leaders," he spoke with an earnest smile.

"Bet your mom and mine woulda gotten along great."

It was a shame their packs had never connected; maybe if the Lore had housed stronger alliances, it could have withstood the coyote infestation.

"What was your dad like?"

It was a strange feeling, looking back over her childhood like this, almost objectively. Usually the past was something she tried to forget, mostly because her feelings about it were so conflicting. If anyone would ever ask her directly what part of her youth in Secret Woodlands had been so hard, she would struggle to put a paw on it exactly – there certainly wasn’t a specific event she could call upon, to justify her alienation from her family; Except dad perhaps…   She pushed away the thought, smiling at Chan’s words. Flair might have her hang-ups when it came to her parents, but there was no denying their leading abilities. “They were very dedicated,” she agreed with a nod, then chuckled lightly; “And that they would! Ma’ was always the social one!”   She should have expected the next turn and yet it still knocked the wind from her chest, her smile paling. On top of her grief and guilt – though there was plenty of that – it also just wasn’t an easy question to answer. Amber eyes swept out over the lake, her ears laying half back as she chewed her lip, thinking; What was he like…?   Finally turning back to her friend, she answered quietly: “Proud, stoic… He was like Ma’s shadow, her protector. She seemed so alone, after…” Feeling a lump in her throat, she trailed off, briefly glancing down as she blinked back the burning in her eyes. Then she cleared her throat, looking back up at Chan with a soft, sad smile; “He was great.” That was the best way she knew to put it, in her mind silently adding: I wish I could have been more like him,   With a small shake of her shoulders, she shrugged off her own insecurities, asking her friend: “How about yours?” She didn’t know for certain, but from what she’d gathered, it seemed he too had passed some time back; What a thing to have in common… ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

The question appeared to have affected his friend, and Chan's own ears leaned back with sympathy. He hadn't meant to hit on anything tender, and found himself grateful when she answered despite the obvious emotion the topic stirred up. Chan watched her features, and when her words faltered, he leaned into her shoulder, hoping to bring her comfort.

What she had to say he found touching. It caused him to reflect a bit deeper than he might have otherwise, when she returned the inquiry.

"He was... a lot like @Nash, I think. Or, Nash is like him, whichever - he was always happy, always there when you needed him, made sure you knew you were loved. Even though he had a lot of fucked up shit happen to him before us."

His father hadn't gloried in his war stories, but he'd told Chan enough for his son to know that his father never truly escaped those demons. Somehow, Tagg managed to bear them and still be the perfect husband and father.

"We can talk about something else."

She smiled weakly at his touch, grateful for the support, even if it didn’t do much to dull the pain. She’d never really shared this with anyone, it wasn’t like she’d had a lot of friends outside of her family; Or inside… She almost laughed at the thought, grim as it was, but held back, suspecting that Chan might not find it all that funny.   As he talked about his own father, she leaned in too, listening closely. It was interesting to hear about other family dynamics, and especially the Eastfalls, whom she’d come to know so well. “He sounds like a great dad,” she said softly when Chan grew silent, her eyes seeking to meet his. It was easy to tell that the boys had been loved, and seemingly fit in well as kids, although she wondered about Chan’s wanderlust, where it had come from, and just how early it had set in.   His suggestion honestly surprised her. While she had obviously been affected by the memories welling back up, she found it was actually quite nice to talk about with someone who hadn’t known her family; No pressure… So she shook her head, answering quietly: “No, I’m just… Not used t’ talkin’ about m’’self.” ”Speech" Thoughts

dawnthieves.de, FairieGoodMother @DA & Lakela @DA

Chan smiled back at her, a more subdued ray of shining sun than that which normally radiated from his features. It hinted at remaining cloud cover, and she followed up with an adequate reason why.

"Same," he replied, "at least, not about the past."

The leader was of course blessed with many wolves who asked him each day how he was, and he couldn't seem to escape questions about his future. His gaze wandered outward again.

"It's crazy, how much things change. How much of life is... transient."

Like parents, homes, lovers, even at times vital basics like food and water and safety. All was temporary, no matter ones best efforts to enforce stability for themselves and others.

"Guess that's why I don't usually plan ahead either," he finished, mismatched gaze finding Flair's fiery features once more. He wondered but did not press, was she a wolf who lived moment to moment too, or did she have secret dreams and hopes for her life's path?

(This post was last modified: Jan 30, 2022, 04:39 PM by Chan.)