Kettle Pot Pond voices in my head

The hare was fast and it was agile, two things she did not have working in her favor during this steady decline towards undernourishment. However, the ghost kept pace with it, driven by a gnawing hunger that had become her constant companion as of late, but in recent days had become more painful than she had ever known it to be. It helped that she was on open ground, and not in some damn forest - otherwise, this thing would’ve already been over.

When Colette got close enough, she lunged - and missed, her jaws snapping at the air just a tad behind the rabbit's ears. It darted to one side, and she moved to follow. Some unseen, uneven portion of the ground put an end to that course of action rather quickly, though. The ghost stumbled and then lost her footing completely, coming to a skidding halt and earning a face full of snow and dead grass for the effort.

It took Colette longer than she would have liked to gather her tired limbs beneath her and set off again after that, but when she did, she began to make her way back to the lake she knew was nearby. It was something that offered her water, and opportunities to hunt the prey that came here. For now, the ghost had chosen to linger in the vicinity of it, roaming along the edges of the lake, while also trying to avoid looking directly at her hideous reflection.

It’s what you deserve, that seemingly ever-present cynical voice of her mind taunted. Colette had no response to it, for it was true. If her fate was to waste away slowly, the ghost would accept that.

-aw if anyone is this far north ^^

She really had no plans when she'd left her father. She'd explained to him that she needed to do this. Now that she was a year old it was time for her to go out on her own and find her place in the world. It surprised her that he'd understood but he had. The only thing she could reason was his own wandering paws, he'd told her about him and her uncle Judas, how they would travel together never having a permanent place. They'd return to the places of the family but never settled down.

Rei wondered if her father would start up his old ways now that she'd gone on to start her own life. She would miss him as she missed her mother but she couldn't be looked after by her father her whole life. She'd set out in the direction she'd been told and hoped that she would find the place she'd been told about often.

When she reached the flat land of grass she thought for sure that she'd taken a wrong turn somewhere. Then the thought occurred that maybe she had to travel through this place as she'd done so many other places. The Archer girl moved through the snow covered grass until the scent of water reached her. 'Perfect,' she thought. It had been awhile since she'd had a drink.

Following the scent she quickly found the pond and walked right up to the waters edge. Bending her neck she took a couple of drinks and as she was raising her head back up she caught sight of the pale figure at the pond as well. It didn't look so good from where she stood.

Reika quickly moved around the edge of the pond to the woman's side. As she got closer it was even worse than she'd first thought. "Are you alright?" She asked worry in her tone.

Even with just one good eye, it was impossible for the ghost to miss the darker figure of another lupine beside the pond. That was not something Colette wanted to deal with, at all, and she couldn’t help an irritated sigh from escaping her as the figure noticed her, and decided to approach.

That irritation faded away, though, as the figure grew closer. It was another woman, slightly taller, and in much better shape. But she was also young. Just beginning to experience adulthood, and at the very beginning of that portion of her life. She had a pair of rather stunningly beautiful blue eyes as well. This one was the picture of youth, health, and beauty. Yet more things the ghost would never have on her side again.

”I’m fine,” Colette spoke curtly, knowing full well how she appeared, having recently seen her reflection. A withering body, with her ribs growing ever more visible even beneath a thick winter coat. A blind eye and half of her face fucked up.

”Don’t waste your time on me,” the ghost added dismissively, and perhaps almost pleadingly, all the while continuing her stride towards the water. Take a hint, kid she thought. I’m not worth it.

Looking across the water at the stranger Reika felt sad for her. Her father had often through her life explained the dangers of being on her own in winter. The only reason he'd agreed to her leaving when she did was that spring was on its way. The poor thing was clearly suffering. The Archer yearling just couldn't move on without doing something so she'd closed the distance between them. She thought to ask after the woman but the response wasn't what she expected at all.

Reika wasn't going to take no for an answer, that just wasn't how she'd been raised. "You don't look fine," she spoke in a stern sort of manner. A frown spread across her features as she was told not to waste her time. "I'm afraid your mistaken. Whatever time you think I will be wasting I consider to be time well spent." After all how could helping someone be wasting her time?

The dark female wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing that she'd left another to die. That was something she wasn't prepared to do. So she sat down right in front of the woman and set her face in one of those stern looks that her mother used to give her.

"Now, your going to accept my help whether you want to or not and we're going to get along just fine." Now that the ground rules were laid out they needed to figure outba few other things, "Let me help you get something to eat," she said her tone a little gentler this time. "I can find you something and bring it back. I don't have a problem doing that for you."

This kid, apparently, could not take a hint. Instead of minding her own business, the yearling trailed after her, offering up a fiery retort. She thought her time would be well spent. But she did not stop there, either. The dark woman moved to pursue, placing herself in between Colette and the water she sought. Then another comment, this one bringing the beginnings of a snarl to the ghost’s face.

But the irritation was something Colette forced herself to subdue again, reminding herself that it was not this kid that she was annoyed with, but herself. She let out a long breath, closing her eyes tightly for a few moments, before giving her head a firm shake. ”Look.. I’m not fine. I know that. But I’m not taking anything from you.” The words were calm but pointed, forceful.

Colette didn’t have a lot left. She didn’t even really have honor or pride, but she could still act like it. But it went beyond that, very much so. ”Think about it,” she urged, hoping the kid would reconsider. ”You give someone a meal, or try to treat a wound - maybe they survive a little longer. But what happens when you walk away? Maybe you’ve only delayed the inevitable, and in so doing, prolonged their suffering. Do ya want that? Or would ya rather just let them go - let fate decide?” This woman seemed to have a good heart, and noble intentions, and Colette did not want to change that.

But there was more than one way to be compassionate, or merciful. And it didn’t always have to involve caring for others. Sometimes letting someone go, was the best thing that could be done for them, no matter how much it hurt.

Rieka didn't want to give up on the woman cause she knew how she'd feel if someone did that to her. Maybe that was why this woman was acting the way she was cause someone had given up on her. Whatever the reason she was there and the woman was there and it was clear that there was a real need of help and Reika was willing to give it. She stayed with the woman trying to plead her case.

The woman finally spoke more than an few words which made Reika frown. She didn't want to argue but that seemed like it was exactly what they were going to do. Obviously she couldn't force the woman to take anything but still. "Its okay to take the help when it's offered," she shot back. Reika just wouldn't let this go.

The Archer was all ears when she was finally given something of an explanation for this behavior. She did just what was suggested and thought about it. She sighed, "I couldn't just walk away knowing you need help and I didn't give it. What if that rabbit I went and caught for you was enough to get you going again. I'm sorry but I can't just leave you alone. Besides, it's not like I have any place better to be."

That was the true though Reika would stay as long as she needed to in order to make sure the woman would be alright. "I can stay as long as you need me to if you'll accept my help."

- S- for swears, also TW for suicidal ideation and possible other sensitive topics as this progresses-

This kid was good, but also shaping up to be incredibly, stubbornly, persistent. She did listen, at least, but it did not appear she truly understood. Blue eyes expressed that she was not willing to give up on someone that needed her help, and went so far as to offer her assistance for an indefinite amount of time if Colette decided to accept it.

That was truly admirable, but so very far beyond what the ghost felt she deserved. Maybe it was lack of experience, the naivety of youth. Colette found herself hoping nothing bad ever physically happened to the kid to corrupt that, but in this world, that seemed unlikely.

It would be better, at least, for it to be introduced to her this way - in a conversation. Or so the ghost hoped, anyway. ”I know, but I don’t want your help,” she huffed. ”My situation has almost as much to do with choice as.. my disability, and fucked up face. Maybe I want this.” Death. With the confession came the weight of memories from years past, enough to nearly bring tears to her eyes.

But again she forced them back, and leveled her gaze with the other. ”And if you knew half the shit I’ve done, you’d probably wanna kill me, yourself. I don’t deserve your help, kid. Keep walking.” There was no attempt to hide the plea, now.

Just go. Leave me alone.

Reika didn't really understand how a wolf could get to the point that this woman was. It saddened her that she was so down on herself that she seemed to want to die. The Archer yearling just couldn't stand for it. She couldn't let this woman just waste away until there wasn't anything left. Reika didn't want to let her continue to think that her life wasn't worth anything.

Reika knew that she was young and really had no kind of authority. That didn't matter right then. This woman needed some tough love and a stern talking to and she planned to be the one to give it to her.

She plopped herself right down and set the woman a stern look. "I don't care if you don't want it," she told her tone taking on a mother like tone. "You need to stop that. Thinking that you don't deserve my help. I'm not going to let you die if I can help it. Your just going to have to accept that."

Reika was settled in her decision. She would stay with this woman for as long as it took to get her back into a batter condition. "What you've done doesn't matter to me. It's in the past. I think the better question is can you ever forgive yourself?"

The kid didn’t care if she didn’t want help. She reiterated that she wasn’t going to leave, but she had no idea. No idea of what you’ve done, that ghostly voice murmured in Colette’s mind again. Whoever had raised this kid had to have been equal parts proud of her, and frustrated with her stubbornness. Things were just going around in circles. Words were not getting things anywhere.

Colette wanted to snap at the kid. To threaten her, to chase her off, but it was the question that put a halt to those thoughts. In a mere moment, thoughts, and memories came flooding back. Things the ghost wanted to run from, but couldn’t, because they’d always be there, in her mind.

She sank to the ground, falling to one side, eyes closing tightly. ”The things I’ve done.. I’ll carry with me until I die, there is no forgiveness for me.” Her voice was sad, broken. There was nothing she could ever do to atone for past sins - death was the only relief she could ever hope to have from them.

But maybe she could be around to try to prevent this kid from ever going down such a path. It was a thought, something to grasp at. With a soft breath, the ghost parted her good eye. ”I’ll accept your help, but for your sake. Y’can’t change what I am, kid.. but I don’t want you to feel what I do.” This kid had a conscience, and it was clear Colette’s death would bother her, for some reason. If accepting the help, and fooling this kid into thinking things were getting better was the only way to get rid of her in the long term, that was what she’d have to do.

The Archer girl had made up her mind about thus woman and at that point there wasn't any more reason to argue. Aside from this stranger physically chasing her off Reika wasn't leaving. In fact she settled down near the woman highly doubting she'd be capable of chasing anyone off at this point. Reika believed it was only a matter of time before she got her way. Once she helped the pale woman see yer way of things there wasn't anything she could do but accept the help that was being offered.

There was however that pesky situation of how the other felt about herself. That would be a problem but Reika felt up to the challenge of at least getting the woman past wanting to die. It was that part that the young Archer couldn't really understand. There was so much to live for.

The fact of the matter was Reika didn't want to know of the things the woman had done. It was a struggle inside herself because maybe she needed to know. If she knew and it was so bad that she questioned her resolve and didn't waver then she'd know that it truly didn't matter. "Then Maybe forgiveness isn't what you should seek and instead you should find redemption."

The stranger had brought up something different for the young girl. She'd never considered that an option until now but she felt that it could provide a driving force for the woman. Her tail swept the ground behind her as the stranger accepted her help. "I am pleased to hear you say that and don't worry, changing you is not what I'm here for. If I ever feel the way you do I hope there is someone just as stubborn as me to come to my aid." That was what she believed but then she was still young and didn't understand the inner workings of life just yet.