Sanguine Cove when the going gets rough

Blind date for @Chan Late night/ Past midnight, clear skys, -4C/25f

I’m Done Putting Out The Fires You Start

Everything just felt so new, which was not something that Marrah had run into a lot in her short life. She lived a rather sheltered, protected existence, and she had always been fine with that. Now she was surrounded by brand new wolves, some older, some her age, some family, some not. As if that was not enough, for she did still have Auntie Woya and her siblings, they were also all the way up on a mountain.

It was not that she didn’t like it, she did, and she wasn’t scared of the heights or anything, it just felt strange. Felt strange to be able to look out over the cliff sides and see everything down below, so much bigger than she could have ever imagined. The thought made her feel very small, very insignificant, and a little despondent. The world seemed to go on forever up here, what were the odds her missing brother ever got home if this was how big everything was?

These were the thoughts that kept Marrah from being able to sleep at night, and she instead had taken up guard on the rocky hillside that overlooked the lake. She stared out into the darkness of the water below, and the sparse vegetation that help shield the pack from the worst of the elements. What did all of this mean?

When The Cranberry Vodkas Hit A Little Too Hard

Without feeling the need to be at every wolf's beck and call, Chan was able to return to his nocturnal routine. Once more did he know what if felt like to be fully rested, and he was in the midst of a particularly good night when he crossed the presence of one of the Chasm's youths. A smile naturally found its way upon his face, so happy that all of the Lore's children had been able to gather and mingle.

How different his life may have been, had he been able to connect with Lila in such a way when they had both been young, rather than the sporadic and almost inopportune interactions they'd had.

He approached the young girl, tattered tail swaying behind him so as to appear friendly.

"Pretty awesome view, huh?" he asked of her opinion, settling his haunches down upon the snow beside her.

I’m Done Putting Out The Fires You Start

The Maceio-Tainn girl was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she did not realize Chan had joined her until he spoke. She let out a tiny squeak of surprise, and then blushed deeply below her dark pelt in embarrassment that she had been startled. Looking sideways to him for a moment, trying to decipher his expression - it seemed pleasant enough - she figured she wasn’t about to be in trouble for being out of bed. Not that Marrah had ever been in trouble for anything in her life, that would require breaking the rules, but she didn’t want to start now.

Then she turned to look back out over the lake. Frowning a little she nodded, but her expression was discontent, ”I didn’t realize how small everything is, and how big the land is.” She could not even see any animals from way up here in the trees in the distance. It was almost like the Chasm did not exist at all, like they were the only ones alive right now up here on the mountain. A shiver ran down her spine, causing her fur to ripple, at the thought. She followed up her statement with, ”No wonder everyone goes missing, how is anyone supposed to find anyone else?” Too many trees, too many mountains, too many lakes, just too much space.

When The Cranberry Vodkas Hit A Little Too Hard

Chan couldn't help but chuckle at her clear surprise, though he was able to stifle it considerably. His gaze set outward, toward the expansive forests below the mountain so as to give her privacy in collecting herself. He knew from experience how easily embarrassed young teens could get, and didn't want to cause any undue discomfort.

When she spoke, he continued regarding the land while the words turned his thoughts. It really did force perspective, seeing the world from so high up. Of course, he'd witnessed this all for the first time at a much, much younger age. For his childhood self, it had been thrilling.

No wonder everyone goes missing, she mused aloud, and his ears lowered, the smile fading from his lips.

"... it keeps going, too. I don't know if the world ever really stops."

What could he say but the truth? She was right, there was a plethora of very good reasons why wolves disappeared and could not be found again.

I’m Done Putting Out The Fires You Start

Chan’s laughter caused her blush to deepen, but she was able to compose herself fairly quickly. It was times like these that she was lucky she was a wolf with a dark pelt that could hide the heat that radiated from her cheeks. She chanced a glance back at him after she finished speaking in time to see the smile fade away from his expression. She herself had not been smiling, but seeing the way that she had affected him it made her stomach twist with guilt.

Marrah looked away quickly. Golden eyes focused on the far away foliage against the white backdrop of snow. For a while she was quiet with her own thoughts as the pup tried to wrestle with what the man had said to her. Finally she sighed, ”If it goes on forever, how many wolves do you think are there?” How many families? Packs? How many other cubs out there are missing siblings and friends and people they loved?

It was an entirely depressing line of thought, and something that Marrah had never taken the time to consider. It made her heart sink. Her young face wore a grave expression, eyes stern as they surveyed the world that seemed infinitely big all of a sudden.

When The Cranberry Vodkas Hit A Little Too Hard

Chan shared her silence, glancing to her young face only on occasion. It was increasingly evident that the child was grappling with some pretty heavy thoughts. Her pack had lost a child too, he recalled. Was that what her mind was focused on?

If it goes on forever, how many wolves do you think are there?

He blinked, considering for a split second before giving an answer.

"Countless. Either way, in the grand scheme of things, I think we're pretty small. There's good and bad in that, just like life itself."

Some found the notion shattering, perhaps were even desperate for some larger part. Chan found beauty in it, a sense of freedom and calm. He wished he could impart that unto Marrah, but it was a fine line to walk between being helpful and being presumptuous. He might know what it's like to be young and have bad things happen, but that didn't mean he knew precisely what she had been and was continuing to go through.

I’m Done Putting Out The Fires You Start

Marrah set to work chewing on her cheek as she stared off into the distance of the world below. She had been the one asking the questions but Chan’s answers had given her a lot to think about, and her young mind was blossoming with more. It was not until her cheek began to hurt that she realized how enthusiastically she had been working it with her teeth. Letting it go the pup swallowed hard.

She took a deep breath and then let it out slowly, ”Do you think there’s something bigger than us then? I mean in the grand scheme of things…a bigger purpose to it all?” Or were they all just out here in an endless forest with an occasional mountain, lake, or meadow thrown in there for variety?

Was there a reason for everything? For everything good and everything bad, just some kind of purpose. There had to be. This couldn’t all be for nothing. Or, maybe it was and Marrah was just here for a while and then she too would disappear into the forest and never be seen again. The thought sent a shiver down her spine.

When The Cranberry Vodkas Hit A Little Too Hard

Each question she asked grew heavier, and as she asked for meaning Chan began to wonder if this was truly a conversation he should be having with someone else's child. Were her parents religious, would he be contradicting what they thought was best? Could his own humble answer be too much, be taken horribly wrong and negatively impact the girl? It felt like a lot of responsibility, and he was silent for a moment as he considered whether or not to answer and if so, how.

Maybe she didn't want to ask her guardians. Maybe she couldn't. She deserved an honest response just like anyone else, didn't she? After all, it was only something bad if they made it one, and skirting around the subject would just model apprehension.

"... no, I don't. What I think, is that meaning isn't some kind of like, law of nature like the sun rising and setting in the same places every day... it's something each of use can create. Something we choose individually, for ourselves. The world's like open ground, sometimes even scorched earth. We get to fill it with flowers, and forests and life."

(This post was last modified: Aug 19, 2022, 01:32 AM by Chan.)

I’m Done Putting Out The Fires You Start

The man seemed quiet for a minute and Marrah waited diligently for the answer, he had answered all the others. It seemed somehow easier to have this conversation with a practical stranger than the adults in her life. She loved them, she really did. But, how could she voice how truly hurt she had been by all their abandonments, the questions she had about life. She didn’t want them to feel like they were failing her, even though sometimes the young girl thought that they were.

When Chan did speak it left her feeling… well she didn’t know exactly what it left her feeling. A lot of things. In the end she settled on responding, ”I would like that, to fill the world with flowers and everything - to be good.” Then she was silent, for a long time. Her eyes swept the horizon as she let all the new information of the night sink in.

Eventually she was overtaken by a yawn, stretching her jaws and causing her eyes to water a little bit. She gave Chan a smile and murmured, ”Well, I better get back to the others.” Getting to her paws she shyly offered, ”Thank you.” Then she was on her way back to find Enera and hopefully get some sleep.

When The Cranberry Vodkas Hit A Little Too Hard

Chan smiled at the young girl's words, so benign and endearing. He hoped she would too, that she was able to do everything she wanted in life and avoided it's many traps. The possibility was certainly there, but unfortunately he knew that many times the choice simply was not.

"You can be anything you want to be," he encouraged softly, before turning his gaze back outward as she had. Time passed, but when she chose to depart, Chan still felt like remaining. He tossed her one last toothy smile and answered, "anytime," as he watched her go.

Then, with a soft sigh, he turned back to the expanse of the valley below and considered the world and its ways.