Wild Rye Fields actions don't rewind

The ghost was feeling better than she had in quite a while, thanks to the care of that damned irritating kid she had met quite weeks ago. And as much as a part of Colette was loathed to admit it, she was starting to grow fond of the kid, too. Reika had been an ever-present, stubborn force of nature to be reckoned with, and that was admirable. The other part of her, though, hoped the kid would decide to move on, soon. So she did not waste too much of her life worrying about a broken has-been.  

Particularly loathsome as well, was this whole seasonal hormonal change thing. There were very few things Colette hated more than this time of year, where instinct drove her to do things she did not wish to consent to, at all. Wandering through the open plains, she had been quick to plunge into the nearby creek, finding the cool water a pleasant contrast.

There had been one point, earlier in her life, where the ghost had thought about raising children, where she might’ve wanted to, but now, she was way the hell past that. That made this period nothing but another irritating nuisance, and a reminder of the many things she’d never have.

Like him. The memories of that period were among the very few the ghost still held dear. Wherever he was now, she hoped he had found what he wanted.

-maybe @Reika but AW

It had been about a week now since Chan had reunited with @Flair and met her friend @Gwendolyn, the trio having stuck together since. As much as he had been yearning for independence, he was quite fond of their company and thankful to have it. Rather than limiting his freedom in any measure it granted him a deeper enjoyment of their travel, and he minded the familiar terrain all the less for it. Given what little he knew of what lay west, he'd figured they'd have an easier time of it if they started north first and crossed at the lowlands, despite his paws itching to traverse new ground.

He didn't know the land he walked to have once belonged to a pack, but the seemingly endless expanse of tundra before his eyes was clear in itself. They'd reached the lowlands. His mismatched eyes scanned the vast horizon, pleased at the sight. From this point on, he was at last in uncharted territory.

Chan turned, intent on backtracking to meet up with the other two and informing them, but his next breath brought a fourth scent into his lungs. It was instantly familiar, and without hesitation he reclaimed that single stride and was racing into the ice-coated field as fast as his tawny legs would carry him. His heart hammered, desperately trying to race ahead of him. When he saw her, Colette was facing away from him and half-submerged, but he still knew exactly who she was.

The shore didn't stop him and he stampeded into the water, loud and exuberant and just wanting to hold her.

Fresh tracks show an injured deer has recently passed by. Hunt opportunity! +10 Health

Sadness, anger, and guilt all tore at her mind incessantly, each one of them warring for control over the others in such a frenzy the ghost believed her head was going to burst because of it. Even the chill of the water didn’t seem to help. It was an odd sound though, that her ears took note of, which grounded her, for a moment.

The thudding of paws racing across the ground, the sound of a body plowing through the frozen, dead stalks of grass that surrounded her. Toward her, too. Then, a scent. Easily recognizable despite the years that’d passed. By the time she even thought to glance back, good eye focusing only momentarily on a familiar tawny figure, he was already charging down the bank and into the water.

Run. It was the only thing the ghost could think to do, so she launched forth, heading for the bank opposite the one he had approached from. She didn’t know how he was here, but he could not see her like this. It would be too much.

Surprising herself, Colette cleared the stream and ascended the opposite side in a few leaping strides, but she did not get very far beyond that. It was always the eye. Something she couldn’t see, that got in the way. Just like the day she’d met Reika, in her desperation, she overlooked something.

Her paws slipped in the snow and ice, and she’d earned another face full of snow and dead grass. He would be on her soon, because of it. She did not try to move, and only sought to shield her face with her forelimbs, wrapping them around her nose and face, before burying it as far as she could in snow and dead grass. She did not want him to see her hideous face, or the hot tears gathering in her eyes.

Turn around, walk away. But she knew he wouldn’t.

One moment all he could see was a fan of sun-illuminated water, the next she was gone. Chan made it onto the opposing shore before it clicked that she was intentionally fleeing him. Was the wind at his advantage, did she not recognize who'd come barreling into her space? Colette wouldn't be hiding then, so desperate to keep her face from him. His heart stuttered with overwhelming concern.

His muscles locked up as opposing desires clashed within him. He wanted to go to her, it felt unnatural not to, and yet she so clearly wished him not to that he held himself back, legs nearly shaking with the effort.

"Cole?"

There was no blood or infection in the air, but evidently something was wrong. He just needed to know what, and then they could fix it, right?

Some part of the ghost wanted to go to him. To touch him and be close, to forget about everything that had happened over the last two years, and even before she’d known him. She might have considered it, if not for the physical scars, the ugly and outward indicator that did not even begin to appropriately display the hideous beast she was, underneath. It was never supposed to have been anything significant to her. He should not have mattered to her like he did. That had never been the intent.

But it was the reality, and Colette hated it. How could he be here, now? After all she had done, all of the different places she had traveled to and from? It had to be fate, karma, whatever. Coming back to torment her. Not undeserved.

It took a moment to realize he’d stopped, though. Somewhere behind her, calling out softly, hesitantly. Her heart fluttered with an inkling of hope. ”G.. go. Go away. You don’t want to see this.”

Go away she insisted, voice muffled from her veiling but captured by his straining tawny ears all the same. Chan was swiftly becoming the picture of worry, brow knit and mismatched irises searching her frame for answers so determinedly they nearly seemed to vibrate. He expected her to tell him she was sick or upset with him or maybe even hunted. What she told him instead didn't make sense.

Why would he ever not want to see her? What was this? Chan took a tentative step forward, then a second.

"Cole," he spoke her name again, as though his tone could convey how much he wanted her to cease this and trust him with what was wrong.

"I don't understand..."

She hoped he would leave, but he did not. The ghost’s ears turned back, picking up the gentle sound of one or two steps forward, prompting her to close her eyes ever tighter - to the point it almost hurt. There wasn’t any way she could push her face further into the snow, but Colette tried anyway, forelimbs wrapping tighter around her own face.

She should have guessed he wouldn’t leave, should have known. That was not who he was or had ever been. Unless he, too, had been acting on an agenda - but this seemed to prove otherwise. He spoke her name again. The anguish in his words caused a stabbing pain to radiate through what was left of Colette’s dark heart, but it would be so much worse for him if he knew.

”You don’t want to,” she breathed back pleadingly. With a soft breath, the ghost steeled her resolve, and sought to control her frenzied emotion. To reason him away, but not harshly. He didn't deserve that. ”You made the right choice when you left, before. That’s what you need to do, now. Go. Forget you ever saw me.”

She only held herself tighter, as though bracing herself against him. Chan's jaw set as she continued to insist on this impossible alternate-reality where he could not be anything other than happy to see her again. The puzzle pieces given felt as though they were torn, missing their most important components, that which would connect them together and form a picture that he could then comprehend and work from.

He moved to her side, and reclined into the snow so that his back rested against her right flank. Facing away, out toward the lowland's bleak expanse, he no longer saw Colette at all.

"I'm not looking," he told her quietly.

"I won't. Just talk to me, please? About anything... I missed you."

(This post was last modified: Mar 17, 2022, 05:28 AM by Chan.)

He still did not leave. Instead, he came closer, resting against her right side. If she were honest with herself, deep down, she didn’t really want him to leave, either. But the ghost firmly believed that would be for the best, so as to not torture either of them with things that could never be again. A sense of irritation took root, stronger than everything else at that moment, because of this cruel fate and hand she had been dealt. That he could be here, if all places.

It was an emotion she latched on to, more so as he said he wasn’t looking. That he just wanted to talk. He’d missed her. A low growl emanated in her chest, and suddenly Colette found herself moving, standing, staring down at the man.

”Then you’re a fool. Take a damn look, tell me if you could really miss this,” the ghost snapped. ”I used you. It was fake, an act. All of it. You mean nothing to me, Chan. Just a means to an end.”

A lie, for some of her best memories were with him. But one that she hoped would protect him. It would hurt, but he deserved some kind of explanation, provided he bought it. She hoped so, for internally, she was struggling. Whatever restraint the ghost still had on her emotions was slipping, and she didn’t want him to be there to see it.