Dead Empress Backwater Don't mind me

Thankfully that terrible smell that she'd been living with was starting to fade from her fur. She'd been away from home for too long though and knew she needed to get back. They would start to wonder where she was if they hadn't already. She had nothing to tell them but the truth but she wasn't even sure what that was anymore. She figured she'd go hide in her den until the smell was completely gone then she wouldn't have to feel so awkward around everyone.

Though it might not even matter at this point. The feelings that she'd felt so intensely still clung to her weighing her down. She'd tried to shake them, get rid of them but deep down she knew they wouldn't go away so easily. They'd been growing for months now until finally she'd had to let it all out.

The words woman she'd met in the forest in that day still rang in her ears. Why don't you just leave? she hadn't been able to shake that idea from her head either.

The Valle woman had waited until nightfall to return hoping she could get to her den without being noticed. She slunk across the border head and tail low. Much of her journey home had been traveled in such a manner. She wasn't ready to go back to pretending just yet. She was alert for any movement that might announce someone was coming. She tried to move as quietly as she could.

It had been a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. Sharlee’s absence had not gone unnoticed, but given the spring season Viorel had not been able to search for her. He needed to be home, to protect the pack from outside threats that may come given the extra smells and activities from within. Plus, he had been rather twitterpated with Vanadis as usual, their own antics keeping them quite busy and probably making them nauseating to be around.

Still, he had paced the borders with increased frequency, and could be heard calling for her at night. There was just nothing else he could do at this time. Viorel had blamed her absence on the fight she had with Eros, or the turmoil with the family and had no idea how she had really been feeling. She had never said, and he had never asked.

The leader had been rushing through his border patrol, anxious to get back to his now obviously pregnant wife when he stopped in his tracks. Pink tongue flicked over black nostrils to taste the air, had she really come home? Abandoning the borders without a second thought Viorel rushed after her, as quickly as his albeit slow sprint could take him. When her tawny form came into view he let out a celebratory howl.

He had no idea this might not be as joyous as he had thought. Rushing up behind her, Vi went to embrace his cousin, if she would let him. ”Sharlee! I’m so happy you’re home!” Questions of what happened or where she had been could wait, he was just glad she was safe.

All she could think about was getting to her den and that saddened her a little. Where once she'd been so happy to be a part of everything they were doing in the pack. Now she had such mixed emotions about it all but she knew she had a job to do. She needed to get herself together before she was really needed. Unfortunately she even had mixed emotions about that as well. She hated that she felt the way she did but she didn't know how to make it stop. The only thing she knew how to do was pretend that nothing was wrong, that she was perfectly happy.

How long would she be able to keep pretending though. How long until she broke down like she'd done nearly two weeks ago. She needed the time until the smell was completely gone to get back to the place she was before. She didn't like keeping this to herself but she didn't see any other way. She no longer had any real standing and was merely asserting her rank over puppies. What kind of wolf did that make her? It was really all she felt she had to hold on to anymore a rank that truly meant nothing.

Her hopes of reaching her den without being noticed were dashed when she heard her cousins howl. It seemed he was rather happy to see her. That assumption was confirmed when he spoke as he came up behind her and embracing her which she let him. "Oh hiI Vi, it's good to see you too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going it…just sort of came up." It was best she hadn't returned after speaking to the woman in the forest. She'd been ready to leave the pack that day.

(This post was last modified: Mar 21, 2022, 12:04 AM by Sharlee.)

He moved forward and embraced her, before noticing the telltale signs of her heat and taking a step back, mildly embarrassed. She was his cousin and Viorel obviously never thought that way about her, but recognized she probably did not want to be touched right now. At least, not by a man she was related to. He looked away and cleared his throat, trying to move past the awkwardness of it all.

He shifted on his paws, something had come up? Confusion covered his expression, she was not usually so coy about her ventures. He looked her over, she looked alright, but, ”Are you okay? Nothing bad happened to you did it?” He wouldn’t ask any more questions than that if Sharlee did not want to share that was fine, but he did feel protective of her. Especially this time of year, he did not want someone to take advantage of her.

Viorel had no idea about her inner turmoil, no idea the big topics she had been wrestling with, or that his questions may be making it worse. If he had, he probably wouldn’t have said the next thing, ”I’m sorry if mine and Vana’s PDA chased you away, I promise she’s the only one for me this year.” He was grinning, it was just a light joke.

The last thing she needed was to run into Vi at the border as she was returning. She could still smell that stench upon her coat which meant he could smell it as well. As if that wasn't embarrassing enough he came to embrace her. She couldn't help the way her body stiffened at his touch. She loved Vi, he was her cousin and they'd grown close this past year but her emotions that had run so strongly in the time she'd been away hadn't abated.

When he asked if she was okay she hestiated for the slightest of moments. No she wasn't okay but there wasn't anything to be done about it. So she plastered a smile across her face, "I'm fine Vi. I just thought with well you know that it was best I wasn't around. You know give everyone their space and avoid the awkwardness that would surely be there." She hoped that would suffice and that he could understand that. There wasn't any reason to mention everything else when she hadn't figured out enough to even begin to speak to him or Vayko about it. She wanted to be able to articulate exactly what she was feeling and she could do that yet.

Then he had to say something that caused her heart to clench, a small reminder of what she did not have, but she smiled. Followed his joke, "Nope not one bit but that's good to hear. I'm not sure the backwater could support more than a litter a piece between you and Vayko."

Things were not really adding up, the way that Sharlee stiffened, her tight smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes when she reassured that she was alright. Viorel was not the brightest wolf in the pack, and even he could see something was just off but he thought better than to pry. His advisor had never led him astray before and if there were things she did not want to talk about then that could be fine. He would let it go, but concern still shone in his golden eyes as he gave her another quick look over.

He instead offered her a sheepish grin of his own. It was an awkward time of year, they could all attest to that. He and Vanadis had tried to keep the majority of their courtship out of the territory to not bother anyone, but they had been acting like lovesick teenagers all the same. Her words were supposed to be a joke he thought, but it was tight in the same way that her smile appeared to be. The leader shifted on his paws, trying to get the whole interaction to make sense.

He wanted to ask her what was wrong, wanted to ask if he had upset her somehow, but he didn’t. Instead he hummed, ”That is probably true, but Vayko has made it very clear he does not have any intention of having pups. Something about it not being his style or whatever.” At least that was as far as Viorel knew. He had no idea that his cousin was trying to court the pack’s healer, or where that would take them next year, or that a litter was something Sharlee desperately wanted. If he knew any of that, he may not have said the comment so offhandedly.

Sharlee really hoped that Viorel hadn't noticed the way her body had stiffened when he embraced her. She didn't want to have to explain that to him. Especially since she really had no idea how to. Was it because of the emotions she'd been experiencing or was she just extra sensitive because of her heat. Sharlee really wasn't sure. So when he didn't say anything about it she was relieved that he hadn't asked.

She was thankful when he seemed to accept her answer about the awkwardness of this time of year. At least that had been a little easier for her. After all she hadn't wanted to be around everyone while she went through her heat. She was glad the whole thing was almost over. Sharlee had been able to feel it ebbing away or else she wouldn't have returned yet. She just kept telling herself it would only be a few more days and it woukd he over until next season.

Alaricks words kept running through her mind as Vi spoke about Vayko's choice to not have pups. So it would seem that her brother and cousin reserved the rights while Vayko had no intentions of having pups. Sharlee let out a breath, "What are the rules on breeding again Vi? It's just I'm not sure I'm entirely clear on them." Maybe it would be best to clear this up. Perhaps she was misunderstanding something.

The whole interaction was awkward, and Viorel kind of wished that he had not approached Sharlee on her re-entrance. Maybe it would have been better just to let her have a little bit more space. Deep down though he knew that was part of the problem that had blown up with Aunt Modesto. They had been giving her space to adapt to their new home, and that had never ended up happening, in fact it had been the complete opposite.

Her question was interesting, but one that he was happy to answer. Hr grinned, unaware of her inner turmoil on the topic, ”Well, we can only support two litters for sure. Vanadis and I will be having one. Vayko states he isn’t interested, but if he wanted to delegate a second litter to someone else that would be a decision he would have to make himself.” Viorel of course could not speak on his cousin’s behalf, and he was not dumb enough to give his litter away so to speak.

A smarter wolf would be putting all the pieces together by now. Sharlee disappeared for days, being uncomfortable, asking questions about the breeding rules. In fact a smarter wolf would be wondering if she was already pregnant. But Viorel was oblivious, as usual.

She shifted on her paws waiting for an answer to her question. She believed she already knew the answer but she'd promised she'd give them a chance. It was as she'd decided only fair that she do so because they were family. As Vi spoke explaining the rule to her it was as she'd thought. So it would seem that the question was what would Vayko do about his own litter. It was clear that that if he had no intentions of fathering a litter this year he hadn't thought to offer it to her. Sharlee nodded along. She wasn't quite done with this subject.

There was just one more question that she wanted to ask. Once she had she'd be on her way. "Since you're certain that the pack can only handle two litters what if someone asked permission even though you and Vayko are both having a litter? Or someone let's say didn't control thaelves? What would happen then?" These questions she was sure hadn't been covered and she needed to know the answers to them.

The Valle woman hoped that the last questions wouldn't throw suspicion on her. It didn't seem that Viorel was capable of imaginings her getting pregnant. So maybe he wouldn't think anything of her asking. A girl could hope anyway. On the other paw maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Her cousin became curious about why she was asking.

Her question made him freeze in thought. They had laid out the rules and expected everyone to follow them, but he and Vayko had never really discussed what would happen if someone didn’t. Suddenly he grinned, ”Well, to be honest, I don’t know. I guess in any of those situations I would be coming to find you for advice on what to do.” Little did he know what was going on in Sharlee’s head, that she might be the one breaking the rules.

Looking upwards in thought for a moment he mused, ”I suppose if someone did not control themselves and Vayko really is not going to have a litter that would not be the worst thing in the world, but it would depend who it was.” He let out a sigh, this was one of those scenarios where being a leader was not that much fun, ”If it was some random new member that would be different than say Clover or you, although I think if it was Clover it would be Vayko’s. Have you noticed how close they’ve been getting?” The last words were accompanied with a chuckle.

Then he sobered up, the pairing really left him with mixed emotions. On one hand he had no romantic feelings towards the healer, but on the other hand it felt awkward should his cousin become mates with one of the mothers of his children. It all felt very complicated. He just wanted something easy for a while.