Drooping Willows Out of sorts

@Alarick

After what had happened only a few days ago Sharlee thought it best not to return to the backwater. There was also the fact of her heat which had yet to subside and it was driving her crazy. She felt awkward having it around her family but didn't want to spend the time hidden away in a cave until it was over. Besides she was clearly not in the state to be doing her job. She knee she was just too emotional to be there.

So she'd left the Wildwood and took to wandering. She didn't really have a destination in mind. She didn't even really care where she ended up. She had been inside her head for days trying to work things out fir herself but at that time she'd only come to one conclusion which she didn't think was the best choice. However, she hadn't been able to determine why it wasn't.

When she finally looked up from the ground in front of her she realized she was among the willows. This worried her, she knew there to be a pack there so she tried to remember if she'd come across their border. The last thing she wanted to do was find herself face to face with an angry Ridge wolf.

The dream from a few days ago continued to replay in his mind, over and over. The voice of his sister, calling for him, urging him to come home. Ordinarily, dreams were not something Alarick put much thought into. This one, however, lingered on his mind.

He remembered the shamans from his homeland, the spiritual leaders saying that sometimes dreams did have a purpose, a reason. Most often it was prophetic. Here, he had thought himself cut off from the others. But if the gods and spirits were truly as powerful as he had always been taught, was it possible the dream was meant to be an omen? A suggestion that he needed to try to find them, again?

He could not be sure, and Alarick hated how it had distracted him from his duties. By the time he looked up, he realized he had apparently wandered beyond the confines of his pack’s home, too. Scents were less prevalent as he started to turn back.. that was, except for one, anyway.

One that was very apparent, given the season. It did not take him long to realize she was probably pretty close, too. And another Embla situation he definitely did not need. Somehow, though, the woman had managed to place herself between him and his home, which meant he would have to go around.

That was not necessarily a complaint, though. He would have more time to explore and scout. And to think.

She'd been walking for days waiting for the symptoms of her heat to subside. They hadn't which further made her feel like some yucky thing to be avoided. What was the point of it? She couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't make it go away through the means that she knew were necessary. The Valle woman sighed, if she did do anything she would risk losing her home but she wondered if that would be so bad.

Her thoughts turned to @Sawyer though she didn't know him well she hadn't smelled a pack in him. So she assumed he lived on his own. He was handsome and didn't seem to be in poor health at all. Her imagination started running away with her as she thought about him taking her away but before she could get very fat with that she realized where she was.

Immediately she panicked. She'd never met the woman that led Willow Ridge. Sharlee wondered what she would do if she found her so close to her lands in the state She was in. The Valle woman thought it best she try to get out of there quickly. Just as she was turning to go she caught the scent of another wolf, a male.

"I know I stink. Unfortunately, I can't make it go away but don't have to run away?" She called out to him.

Talk about what, she had no idea but maybe he had some answers for her. Maybe he didn't she still needed to find out, she needed to figure out what to do.

He had been hoping that the unfamiliar woman would be, from his actions, out of sight and out of mind. Apparently, though, that was not the case. Whether she was searching for him, or just caught his trail too, Al did not know. But the stranger’s voice called out to him, saying he did not have to run away.

Except.. it really felt like he did. That was what he had felt was for the best, lest he find himself in a compromising position. But, to run away would also be rude, inconsiderate, and possibly counter to his duties as a pack wolf. This woman was close to the ridge, after all. So he supposed he ought to greet her, and find out her intentions, as it were.

Taking a breath, Alarick paused, then turned back. It did not necessarily sound like the stranger was after what the season bid them do. But if she was, he felt confident in himself, his ability to control his actions, anyway. He had his word to keep, to his leader and pack, too.

”I suppose that is true. I apologize, miss,” he called back, advancing forth a couple of tentative steps, amber eyes peering about to catch sight of the stranger.

Sharlee had called out to him hoping he would change his mind and come back. She felt confident that she could control whatever her instincts told her to do. She wasn't looking for anything more than someone to talk to. She'd been alone with her thoughts for days and it really wasn't a healthy place for her to be. She knew her loyalty to her brother and cousin was too string to allow herself to betray then. She did not want to be Modesto or Sita.

The Valle woman walked a little further hoping that she might run into him. When she didn't find him right away she thought maybe he had left until she heard his voice calling out to her. She followed it until he was in sight. That was when she spoke. "Its okay," she told him, "I'm Sharlee Valle," she introduced herself sitting on her haunches.

What to say now though after she'd called him back. The truth was she didn't want to be alone any longer but she didn't want to go home either. "I hope I'm not intruding on anything. It's just I've been wandering for a few days and…well…I was hoping you'd stay with me for a bit?" How pathetic did she sound? She wanted to kick herself unfortunately what she'd said was the truth. She was in a really bad place. She knew it and she didn't want to be by herself.

The figure that manifested from between the trees was not an unattractive one, he thought. She was similar in color and height to himself, though brawnier, but any further physical assessment was put on abrupt hold as she mentioned a name.

Valle. And, come to realize  it, beyond all that seasonal hormonal stuff, she smelled like the pack to the north. Like Oleander had, and Clover, before. A smile crossed his face at that, as he realized Embla must have found who she was looking for there, after all. Why she had not been back to tell him that yet, was perhaps a little puzzling, but he found himself glad he had been able to help.

His focus returned to this woman though, Sharlee, as she spoke again. Up until the last bit, things seemed pretty normal, but the whole stay with me for a bit thing was mildly concerning.

Alarick let his eyes slide over her figure again, but this time, to assess her posture, her eyes, so that he might glean some insight about her mental situation. It reminded him, a little, of Levi - when they had first met, for her words seemed more like a veiled plea for help than.. a proposition for something else. Considering how utterly inexperienced he was in the latter category though, maybe it was that, and he was too oblivious to know. Al was going to hope not.

”I can stay. For a little while, at least, and you are not intruding, so you need not worry about that.” he spoke with a tentative nod, slowly easing himself back into a seated position as well. ”I am Alarick, of Willow Ridge. Is there something I can do, or help you with?” He spoke cautiously, hoping to learn more of the woman and her intent.

Finally he came into view and it was actually really nice to see another wolf. Maybe it was just nice to see one who wasn't her family for once. Sharlee loved them all of course even if she had fought with Eros before all of this. It was just that maybe she'd really needed to get away and meet someone new. It was even possible that she just wanted to see what was out there.

She hadn't been able to get the thought of leaving the pack out of her mind. Could she do that if it was the only way was the biggest question. She wondered how hard it would be to walk away from her family. She also considered what she might do. For the time being it was still just a thought at the back of her mind that she thought best not to entertain too much.

As the distance between them closed she wonder if maybe she needed another opinion. She didn't really feel like this was something she could talk to her brother or Vi about. They were the leaders and would always have the right above everyone else. That was just the way it was and there wasn't much she could do about it.

The question was out there, would he stay with her for awhile. It wasn't the kind of question that was normally asked but she'd been on her own for days. Normally it wouldn't have bothered her but this time was very different for her. She wasn't coping very well with what she was feeling inside her.

She smiled when he said that he could stay for a little while. "Thank you. I'm not usually like this. It's just been really rough the last few days Maybe longer I'm not sure right now." She sat down in the snow heavily as he spoke again. "Its nice to meet you Alarick." She gave a moments thought to his question. "I appreciate the offer but I don't honestly know if you can help. I've just been really struggling lately."

It became ever clearer, as the woman spoke, that something was troubling her deeply. She was not usually like this, and, it had been a rough few days. Even the way she sat, it was as if the weight of the world were resting on Sharlee’s shoulders.

Concern etched his features as she spoke, amber eyes softening. She did not know if he could help her struggles, but whatever they were, it must have been something particularly deep and troublesome. It lead him to suspect that the issues were not something she had spoken with her pack about, either. Otherwise, there would be no reason to wander around seeking the company of random strangers.

Despite his previous experience with Levi, this was still not a field Alarick was particularly skilled in. But it went against his code not to try. ”I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I was too until I met the leader of my pack. I was alone for a long time, before that, and it was hard.” That had easily been the darkest period of his life, until he had met Avella and been brought to the ridge. While Al still did not know if he would remain there, he could not deny the newfound sense of purpose and belonging the pack had given him in the meantime.

”I do not know what you are going through, nor do you have to tell me. But things will not always be bad. They were not for me, and I believe that for you, too. I  may not be able to, but.. I would be willing to try to help, if you think there is any way I can.” Though he knew nothing about what had caused Sharlee to feel the way she did, the feeling itself was something Alarick was familiar with. He understood that all too well. Even if it was just sitting here and listening, or offering encouragement, he hoped he could help the other.  

(This post was last modified: Mar 26, 2022, 06:36 PM by Alarick.)

Sharlee didn't like feeling the way she did. So confused and hopeless because she didn't have a solution to her problem. There wasn't anything to be done about it. She knew her feelings would only grow stronger especially if the backwater had pups again this year. She would watch them grow and learn and she would get to see their parents teaching them things. Again she'd just be Aunt Sharlee but how she longed to hear a child call her mom. She wanted to be the one they sought out for the important things I'm life.

She apologized to the man for her behavior. It was most certainly not the way a Valle should behaving. Maybe that was some sign for her to see that she didn't recognize. He was kind enough to agree to stay with her and it was his kindness that led her to sitting heavily in the dirt. Tired from everything flying around inside her and tired from her wandering.

Sharlee looked up at him when he spoke and the words that he said to her. In a way she felt some connection to them because she did feel alone. "Thank you, I'm glad to hear that you're doing better. Your leader must be kind." Being in a pack wasn't her problem or maybe it was. Maybe the woman was right, leaving might be her solution. Sharlee shook her head, it was a far fetched idea…or was it?

Her gaze was on him once again as he spoke offering some kind words. Then he offered to hear what was causing her so much turmoil. She regarded him for a moment before making her decision. "Last year I became an aunt and it started small. Just an inkling at the back of my mind you know then it grew. I realized that I want pups. I want to be a mom and raise my own children but I'm not allowed." That was how she started it. Sharlee thought she'd let him think that over before going on. Baby steps she supposed and besides she wasn't quite ready to move on just yet.

He had not really thought he would be able to help Levi, when he had first met the younger man. Had not known what to do, but somehow, out of that, Alarick had ended up with a friend. While perhaps he would not be able to help Sharlee directly, perhaps he could help her by extending understanding, and a friendship.

Al offered the other a small smile and a nod as she spoke of his leader. ”Indeed, she is.” There were other things, too. All in all he rather liked Avella, but that was a topic for a different time and day.

Surprisingly, as well, Sharlee did opt to offer up an explanation on her troubles. She wanted to be more than an aunt. She wanted kids, too. The hunter’s eyes softened slightly. He could appreciate and respect how much trust the woman was placing in him, in that moment, to confess these thoughts. But beyond that, her desire was also something he understood all too well.

”I.. think I.. know how you feel. Being a parent, raising children.. it is the primary purpose of our existence. Something most of us aspire to. I want that, too. And.. like you, I also.. cannot have it, here.” Somewhere in the back of his mind, Alarick was aware of the waning time he had to accomplish what he wanted.

He was not old, but by the time the opportunity came around, he would be at least a year older. Like Sharlee, he had hopes of raising kids, and maybe even getting to see grandkids, one day. Yet, with each passing month and year, that was a dream that seemed to become less and less likely. Along with thoughts of ever seeing his family again.

”You are.. right, though, I cannot help you with that. It would not be right. Not this way.” He spoke softly, offering a small, apologetic smile. The woman did not seem to be insinuating anything, but it was probably better to clarify that and draw the line, just in case. Alarick would not go back on the word he had given to his leader, and he certainly did not want to potentially sire children he would not be around to help raise. That was one of the most egregious and reprehensible sins a man could commit, perhaps second only to murder.