Dead Empress Backwater ashes of eden

what i really need now is a double shot of crown

He was admittedly relieved to hear that his sister’s own resolve in the older generation had faded as well, and that she struggled to put her trust in them as they once had. He shrugged at the mention of something being off. “I honestly couldn’t tell you… I don’t know if it’s just paranoia after what happened with Aunt Mod or if it’s rooted in something, but either way I don’t know why it feels off… it just does.” Perhaps this was going to start his slow descent into madness just as it had with their grandmother? He certainly hoped not. “I miss mom… I was hoping that he had her with him, but he didn’t.” He admitted again. His mother was perhaps the one figure he felt he could still trust amongst that generation. Her motivations had always been the selfless love of her children.

He listened as she agreed with him, or at least seemed to before she started to explain it all. “I was angry, hearing the things she said… but I also loved her, and she was family too. She’s allowed to have an opinion.” Who were they to try and limit the opinions of their subordinates? “The implications she made about Clover upset me.” He admitted, voicing the confusing thoughts in his head to another for the first time, hoping to keep his sister’s confidence about them as well.

At least she seemed to agree that it might have been genuine at first, and he frowned as she went on. “She wanted power and control like she had on the council but we didn’t structure the pack like that for a reason. We wanted the control, and advisors to advise but not make decisions.” He admitted again, though it was nothing new. It had been so well established. He offered a soft smile, his eyes softening to something lighter as well. “I like that idea.” He wanted to redefine what it meant to be a Valle. Viorel had given up, cast it aside as just a surname, but perhaps Vayko could reinvent it. “Vi mentioned maybe I should reinvent my opinions about being a terminal bachelor.” He admitted lightly, trying to shift to a more lighthearted subject. “I told him I hardly think it’s the season for that.” Lest they have a repeat of last year.

Sharlee wanted to know more about this feeling her brother had where their father was concerned. Was it something she needed to worry about? As he explained she learned that he wasn't sure why he had the feeling. She looked at her paws for a moment before meeting his eyes with hers, "Then maybe we should remain cautious and vigilant?" They didn't want a repeat of what had happened with their aunt. If there wasn't anything to her brothers feelings and it was just paranoia then it would be left at that. Sharlee didn't want to take any chances especially after what had happened with Modesto. Vayko spoke of missing their mother, Sharlee nodded along with his words. "I miss her too. I wish she'd appear like the others have." She hadn't though leaving her and Vayko both wondering about her.

Sharlee only disagreed on one point that her brother brought up. Modesto's opinions. "You're right Vayko, everyone is entitled to their opinions but what she said about Vi and his family. That was just down right wrong and unnecessary. Family doesn't treat family the way she did." It didn't really matter that Modesto had the opinions that she had. It was more that they were more insult and less constructive. The whole situation could have been avoided had it been handled differently. Vayko spoke about Clover and implications that Modesto had made about her. "What did she say about Clover?" Sharlee had never agreed with Modesto where Clover was concerned. The news that her aunt had said something bad about her didn't surprise the Valle woman.

She listened as Vayko explained more about Modesto. It pretty much lined up with what Sharlee had thought all along. "Maybe when she realized things weren't going to change she snapped?" Or took things into her own paws and got herself forced out. It was something to think about. What did bring a smile to her face was Vayko liking her idea of reinventing what it meant to be a Valle. "I don't think it would be hard. Maybe something to talk to Vi about?" She wouldn't mind having that conversation with her cousin. Something to move them forward, speaking of which it seemed Vayko had something to say about that too. Sharlee offered her brother a small smile, "Well there's no reason one of us shouldn't get their happy ending especially if you have someone special." It most certainly wouldn't be her.

All he could do was nod at the mention of being cautious and vigilant. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He was fairly certain you weren’t supposed to be suspicious of your own parents but they had simply been hurt too much by the older generation for him to have any faith at all in their ability to actually stay. “I think she is… dad mentioned they’ve been trying to find us… and mom loves us. I know deep down she’s looking for us.” He added in because he had to believe that. He had to believe that at least one woman who had raised him actually gave a damn about their wellbeing.

“I don’t disagree… I just know that I’ve said things that were wrong and unnecessary in the past… I’ve treated family badly. I called Clover and Vana floozies for the longest time which was both wrong and unnecessary and I treated family awfully but I’m still here… what if time would have let her opinions change like they did mine?” He knew deep down it was a completely different situation, she was older and wiser whereas he had been a teenager… but he couldn’t help but wonder if all she needed was a second chance. “She called her a whore… and she called Aunt Sita a whore too.” He admitted with a frown on his features.

Maybe it was that too… maybe Sharlee was right about that. “I want Valle to be a name we can be proud of, that all of our nieces and nephews can be proud of… and I think Vi wants that too. The image Modesto had of the name was not something I was proud of. It felt like this weight, like we had to be perfect in her eyes in order to survive.” He had never really considered it until he and his sister had started to have these conversations. All he had ever done was try to make the adults proud, and in the end he couldn’t do that. His smile softened at that too. “I… I think I do… at least, I have someone I think I like… someone who I think I could love like Vi clearly does Vana. I think that I'm just scared of being rejected.” He admitted.

Vayko Valle

Sharlee wasn't sure what to make of her brothers feeling but she also didn't want to dismiss it. What if it was something they needed to pay attention to but she supposed it was something they would have to learn in time. Sharlee looked down at the ground when Vayko spoke of their mom. "I'm starting to lose hope that she'll ever find us Vayko. I know dad found us and all but I just don't understand why she hasn't." She was glad that her brother still had faith but after everything it was becoming hard for her to hold on to her own faith.

She listened as Vayko expressed his thoughts about what had happened with Modesto. "We all say amd do things we don't necessarily mean some times Vayko. You've changed a lot in the past year. I had hoped that Modesto would change her opinions. The first time I spoke to her after she found us amd expressed them. She never did Vayko, they only got worse. I think she is just so stuck in her ways." Sharlee believed that Modesto would have ended up bringing them down or not allowing them to become the best that they could be. Her brother went on to repeat the name that their aunt had called Clover and Aunt Sita. "Which is what she thought about Clover the first time I spoke to her Vayko. I tried to explain to her the truth about what was going on but she didn't listen." That was clear or she wouldn't have still thought such a horrible thing about Clover.

"Its what makes sense to me. She couldn't bend us to her will." So she let them know what she really thought. It wasn't what mattered. What did was what they wanted to create in the future. As she soon learned it was as she thought. "I think we all want that Vayko. We want to make something better than what we were. We're already doing that with our friendship with the cove wolves. In other ways too. We just have to keep on this path. We just need to be who we are and not let anyone get in our way." Sharlee fully believed they could get to the place where Valle would mean something different, something to be proud of. When he brought up what Vayko had said Sharlee couldn't help but be curious about her brothers love life. However as he spoke she felt a little pang of feeling like she was being left out of some great secret. Even still she smiled and bumped Vayko's shoulder, "You'll never know the truth if you don't speak to her," she stated, "What if she feels the same about you and you never find out?" She hoped that would help her brother see that he needed to speak to this mysterious female.

He frowned and there was a hint of a sadness in his eyes as she gave her own hopes up… how had they even gotten to this point? They had been so full of hope a year ago, albeit plenty of confusion also lingered in the pools of their eyes as they tried to figure it all out. Sharlee, however, was right… sometimes, there was no changing someone’s mind. Modesto had been too stuck in her ways to remain and disrespect the family they had built. The family that stood by them regardless of their decisions was far more honorable than those who settled and watched in silent discontent until they snapped.

His ears drooped to hear that it had been her impression the entire time. He felt that was his fault. He recalled mentioning her as a floozy to his aunt upon reuniting with her… “She heard what she wanted to hear and nothing more, and she never made an effort to get to know her more. Admittedly, I didn’t understand at first either, but Clover was the least to blame in that situation, and even then, we survived, even if it was hard at times.” Clover had saved their asses more times than he could count at this point.

They were going to keep on this path. He offered her a smile and moved forward to nuzzle her in a display of sibling love and affection. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Shar.” He offered with a smile… and then she was giving him even more advice and he looked at his paws. “It’s Clover… I like Clover…” He admitted to his sister before clearing his throat and continuing. “It would just be so complicated. She has absolutely no reason to like me back and even if she did, what would happen if we had kids? Viorel’s boys would have sibling-cousins…”

Vayko Valle

In some ways Sharlee felt bad that she'd given up hope to see her mother again. They'd been in the backwater a year now. She felt that in that time their mother should have shown up but she hadn't. The young Valle woman didn't know the reasons. If Amondi showed up the very next day she'd be happy to see her but she feared that Modesto's actions would overshadow it. It was best in her mind just to move on and accept that their mother wouldn't show up. Then if she never did there wouldn't be any disappointment.

Sharlee greed with everything that her brother said about Modesto. It was the truth which was why she believed that their Aunt never wanted the backwater to work out for her. "I never thought she wanted the changes that we did. I suppose she'd lived in the ways of the Estuary that maybe she was afraid of something different." As for Clover, "She didn't have any blame Vayko. I felt badly for what had happened to her last year and I was angry with Vi for causing it to happen. You're right though it is important that we did survive even through the hard times. I think it's important to remember that and I don't think Modesto ever saw that." Had what they were trying to do been the wrong thing Sharlee believed they wouldn't have gotten this far.

Sharlee smiled at yer brother and returned his afaffections. "You'd be lost without me," she stated. Then he admitted that it was Clover he had feelings for. In true Vayko fashion he was even conflicted about that too. "Oh Vayko, it would be complicated as are most good things. You might not think she has any reason but you don't live in her kind. She may havenall the reasons in the world. I think it's important to remember that it doesn't matter what labels we give ourselves to relate to our family. What matters is how your children will relate to Vi's. I don't think the reasons that you've given are good enough to not see how Clover feels."

Though it seemed harsh, he hoped that she had simply been delayed by illness or injury… that it was the reason he had not seen their mother yet. He supposed his sister might be right to think that she would never appear, and perhaps it would be easier that way because he did not know how Modesto’s betrayal in his eyes might affect his own views on his mother… and it was a reason he grew to despise his Aunt. She had popped the bubble he had formed around his relationships with his family members, and there was no putting it back together.

He hummed softly as his sister spoke and he nodded. He understood. He knew that Clover had no blame. He had been angry at Vi too, though in truth he felt now that Vana and Clover had both unintentionally felt his wrath at his cousin for his irresponsibility. Still, he sighed softly. “We did. We had two litters, survived a plague, and they all made it safely to their first year.” He agreed with her as he slumped a little bit. “I just don’t know why it’s so hard for Modesto to see the way we’ve thrived. To her, we’re always going to just be some sort of slum… and I’m disappointed in her disappointment and anger towards us.” He finally found the words to express how he felt.

When things turned lighter, he let a grin onto his features, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. “It’s true, I would be. I need my sister around. I have no idea how Vi functions with both of his siblings wandered off.” Andrey had gone looking for the coast, and who knew where Xulia went. “I know… and of course, you’re right… I just… I’ve been struggling with it all. Sometimes I miss the Estuary just because of how carefree everything was, the lack of responsibility I had and the lack of thinking I had to do about these kinds of things.” He missed the simplicity, but really nothing else.

Vayko Valle

Sharlee didn't know the reason their mother hadn't shown up. She felt that if their father had made it then she should have too. Many emotions swirled inside the Valle woman regarding her mother's absence but she wasn't ready to share them with anyone. She couldn't even articulate them to herself yet so how could she to her brother or anyone else. Though part of her felt that hoping for their mother to appear was a lost cause.

In Sharlee's opinion Clover was a strong woman after all she'd gone through the previous year. The Valle woman was glad that Clover had stuck with them through it all despite everything. She was a good wolf and they were all lucky to have her with them. She listened as her brother first listed the things they had gone through and then spoke of his feelings toward their Aunt. "I'm not sure she wants to see that we've made it through because then she might have to admit that she was wrong. That we don't have to do what we've done in the past to make something of ourselves." That was Sharlee's viewpoint on why things for Modesto hadn't worked out. "I feel the same. I woukd have really liked for her to have accepted it all and continued to be a part of our lives." She supposed it just wasn't that important to the older wolf.

Sharlee was supportive of her brother. Just because she hadn't been lucky enough to find someone didn't mean that Vayko shouldn't be happy. As he spoke she smiled, "I'm glad that I can be here for you Vayko. We'll always have each other. I think Vi focuses on Vana and his children and that's how he functions." She couldn't be sure since her cousin hadn't ever shared that with her but that was what she thought. Again she found herself agreeing with her brother. "The simpler life was nice but I have come to love this life even if it is harder. The ability to think for myself and make my own decisions. It's not something I want to give up." Sharlee could be what she wanted to be and in some ways that was special to her.