Arbol Rosado that I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad

AW!
Mid-morning, Overcast, 57F/14C

It had been almost two weeks since Vanadis and Vayko had left, and as of now there had been no sign of their return. Viorel knew realistically that the trip there and back would take minimum a full moon cycle, but as the tips of the trees began to fade into their fall colours he couldn’t help but feel stressed. It had been a long, hot, dry summer and now autumn was at their paws and the leader felt like everything was moving too quickly, spiraling out of control.

Normally the Valle man would have returned to the territory before the sun rose, but today he had remained under the cherry blossom tree. Months had gone by since it had bloomed pink, but it still provided a decent place to rest and let his thoughts plague him. He needed a distraction, preferably a pleasant one. He had suffered enough in the last year, and everything felt unstable beneath his paws. He was just trying to keep his head above water.

Maybe Eros was right, maybe it was his fault that everyone was leaving. Maybe he had chosen the wrong side of the fight between his son and his cousin, maybe he really was a fool trying to lead a swamp. Maybe he was more of his mother than he ever would be of his grandmother he admired so much.

She was already missing Vayko's presence even though it had only been two weeks, and could only imagine how Viorel was feeling in their absence. They would be back soon, but not soon enough for her.

While initially heading out to gather herbs now that the rains had returned, her mind soon wandered from the task, and she instead found herself simply walking beneath the cherry trees. The sun had long risen by the time she caught Viorel's scent, and she let out a low woof to alert him of her presence.

"How you holding up?" Clover asked softly, stopping nearby to look at him with a gentle expression. She could only imagine the stress he was under with Vayko being gone, and wanted to help in any way she could. Even if that just meant talking.

Caught up in his thoughts, Viorel was surprised to hear a familiar woof from nearby. Blinking yellow eyes and looking in the direction of the call, he gave a half hearted smile in return to her greeting. Ah that question. At first he forced a smile and was going to say something about how pleased he was the rain returned, or that the pups were getting bigger, or how he hoped Vayko and Vanadis were enjoying their travels.

Instead he faltered, and the forced grin fell away slowly. Looking back over the horizon of the cherry trees, he didn’t say anything for a long moment. When he did the exhaustion was clear, ”Just trying to keep everything together that I can at this point.’ Somewhere in the last year the young, flirty, carefree yearling that had first happened upon Clover was gone. Maybe it was the deaths of his grandma and Walleye. Maybe it was the abandonment of the countless members of his family, maybe it was the fight with Aunt Modesto. Maybe it was the nagging fact that though he had agreed for Vayko and Vanadis to leave, he resented them a little for it.

The leader sighed and looked wearily back to his companion, ”It all seemed so much easier in the beginning, didn’t it?” She had been there, back when things had been new and shiny. When everything seemed like it was going to work out just fine.

He smiled at first but it slowly morphed into something of a frown, and the weariness in his body was as clear as day. A sympathetic frown wormed its way onto Clovers' face, her ears pulling back slightly as a soft but tired sigh slipped from her maw. At least she didn't have to pretend to be okay in front of him, and it seemed he wasn't about to pretend with her either. "You know I'm always here if you need to talk," she said sincerely.

A soft chuckle escaped her at his next words, but it lacked the usual bubbly enthusiasm. She stepped closer to him then, sidling up beside him. "I recall there being far fewer responsibilities." There was a slight teasing glimmer in her eye, but her mouth stayed drawn thin rather than curling up into a smile. They had all been not much older than children themselves, and were then promptly thrust into an uncaring world that refused to pull its punches. "But I wouldn't change what happened. Not all of it, at least." Their children were a blessing, even if only one currently remained with them.

Viorel glanced sideways at Clover at her offer, and in return he gave a soft smile, this one genuine. He nodded before replying, ”I know I could, but there’s hardly ever time without both of us being pulled in different directions is there?” Then, before he could think better of it he teased, ”though with Vayko gone maybe I could steal your dinner times.” He wouldn’t dare, his cousin would be furious when he got back, as would his mate. But, in this very second with the abandonment stinging it felt tempting to get back at them.

He relaxed then, suddenly content just to stay where they are. No need to keep moving, no need to keep running away from his problems. He hummed in response, ”I was in such a rush to grow up and take on all this responsibility, and now I wish I could just slow everything down.” Maybe even go backwards, if that was even something that was possible for them to do. Go back to galavanting around in the night with Vanadis, napping during the day, just hunting and dreaming about the future. He felt like he was just getting through the days now, not dreaming about what was to come.

She hummed softly at his words. Viorel was right, even if one of them had free time it seemed like the other would be pulled away to handle something else. She glanced sideways at his next comment, lips momentarily forming an 'o' shape of mild surprise, caught off guard at his teasing tone and unable to tell if it was really a joke or not. Her expression quickly shifted to a more joyful one, deciding that he was definitely joking with her, and she gently bumped her shoulder against his. "Well you'll know where to find me." Maybe it would do both of them good to spend an evening together now and then to just chat.

Her eyes closed for a few moments, exhaling through her nose. Truer words had never been spoken. Clover felt like she now understood what her parents had meant by 'time moves too fast'. It seemed one moment her children had been just leaving the den, and now only one remained with her. "I worry I won't have much time left with Oli before he also decides to leave." She looked at Viorel again, wondering if he had similar thoughts with his two boys.

She gnawed softly at her lower lip, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough that it stung a bit. "Do you think we were too young?" Clover asked softly. Had they made the right decision to bring children into the world when they were just barely adults themselves? It was a question that plagued her now and then, but she had never given it much thought before.

Seeing how surprised Clover was at the suggested prompted the salt and pepper Valle to wink at her impishly. For just a fleeting second there was a glimpse of the boyish charm that had once been so prominent. Then it was replaced with the more fatigued image of the young man that had grown up so quickly, and felt so much heartbreak. He rubbed his shoulder against Clover’s in acknowledgement of what she had said, but even he knew they wouldn’t have a lot of time for that.

Viorel sighed softly, and his voice was almost wistful as he spoke, ”This spring they’ll all be adults. Old enough to start families and packs of their own if they want to.” Wasn’t that such a strange thought? That his children were now approaching the age that he was when all of this had begun? Time had really taken them all for a trip. He was silent for a long time then, thinking over her next question and watching intently as she worried her lip.

Eventually he shook his head and teased, ”Too young? No. Too naive? Definitely.” Then he reached out gently and touched his leathery nose to her muzzle and said softly, ”But we did the best we could, and one thing being a father has taught me is there is nothing more you can ask from someone than that.” He could be proud of that, that no matter what else, he always did everything he could for his kids.

Clover leaned into his shoulder, feeling relaxed by the brief physical contact. It wasn't the same like with Vayko, but the gesture was comforting nonetheless. Her ears twitched at his words, feeling a pit of dread in her stomach. She hadn't even thought of that. The children were now almost the age she had been when she had left, and now she realised why her parents had been so unwilling to let her leave. Oli was still just a boy, and she didn't want him to leave. There was still so much more left to teach him about the world.

"It doesn't feel like it's been that long." And yet here they were, faced with the prospect that their own children may leave to make something of themselves. She could only hope the children still remaining would stay, at least for just a little longer.

A soft laugh escaped her at his comment. Oh they had definitely been naive, she could agree with him on that. Clover welcomed the gentle touch to her muzzle, humming gently under her breath at his sincere words. Viorel was far from the young and overtly charming boy she had first met, and she was no longer that innocent and somewhat gullible girl. They had both grown up, maybe a little too quickly, but neither were the same wolf as when they first met. That had to be a good thing.

"I just hope the children see it that way. I wouldn't want them to think any less of us just because we were young and inexperienced parents." The factual part of her brain said they wouldn't, and yet she couldn't help but worry. Maybe that's why Violet and Margo had left all that time ago.

Drawing herself up Clover let out a huff of air, not wanting to bring the mood down when Viorel was clearly feeling low already. She needed to change the subject, but couldn't really think of anything else at that moment. "Are you planning on having a third litter when Vanadis returns?" It was an honest question, and she was genuinely curious.

Fade on your next post?

Viorel smiled softly at her words, it really did not feel like that long had passed and yet here they were almost two years later. Her sigh was not missed, and what she had to say brought a frown to the salt and pepper muzzle. It was something that he also worried about, but it wasn’t like they could go back in time and change anything that happened. He hummed, then sighed himself, ”I don’t know about what they will think, but as I’ve gotten older I had the sickening realization that my parents were just wolves themselves, just like I was.” He hadn’t even known who his real father was most of his life, and they had gotten past it.

Clover’s next question was meant to lighten the mood, but instead felt like salt in the wound, her leaving wasn’t going as easy as he thought it was. He grimaced, but shook his head, ”No. Last spring Sharlee came to me at the end of the season and expressed her dream to be a mother so I promised my spot to her.” But he couldn’t keep wallowing, so he got to his paws and rolled his eyes dramatically, ”Plus with the litter we’re raising this year, maybe it’s best we give someone else a chance next year.” They should probably start heading back or he should anyways, and his body language reflected being ready to leave.

His words gave Clover some assurance, and she was grateful they were having this moment to just talk quietly between the two of them. It had been a while since their schedules aligned in such a way to allow a moment such as this. "It's strange being on the other side," she said in agreement, a soft huff of a laugh leaving her lips. Her parents had always seemed so mature when she had been young, and now that she was nearing their age she was beginning to understand they had not been as infallible as she had thought.

Viorel pulled a face at her question, and for a moment she thought she had hit a nerve or angered him. But his response gave no such impression, and she found her brows raising in surprise. She never knew Sharlee was so insistent on having her own children. Perhaps that would be something she would talk to her about. It had been a while since they had really spoken. There seemed to be a lot of that going around.

"I think she'd make a good mother," Clover commented with a smile as she followed suite, raising up to her paws and moving beside Viorel to head back home. "The three are quite an interesting bunch." She hummed softly in amusement, knowing just how much of a handful the trio had been, and still were. Perhaps Viorel was right.

FADE