Velo en Cascada dancing after death

Random Event: Snowmaggedon! A foot of snow has fallen overnight! For @Flair only.

The weather was turning, determined to fight valiantly against spring's inevitable approach. The drifting, blowing snow made travel even more difficult than winter normally did and lengthened their travel. He started to regret letting Auburn go ahead on his own, hoped dearly that he had made it safely to the Falls and that they wouldn't stumble across him frozen...

They had dipped under a shelf of stone and behind its solidified wall of water that kept the wind out no matter how hard it blew. Chan shook the snow from his pelt, stretched his tired, cold limbs and then looked to Flair. He'd let her choose where to rest, then curl up with her. The space would hopefully warm up quickly, and they could rest easy before setting out for the final leg of the trip.

"... I can't believe it's almost been a year," he found himself musing aloud before he could think better of it.

The snow had surprised even her, though she knew how fickle spring could be she hadn’t thought their journey would be hampered quite as badly. Not that it would have changed much, her knowing in advance, she still would have gone. And though she was eager to get back to the Falls, she also didn’t mind this respite, a nice snug cover from the raging snows, and it made talking a lot easier too.

After giving her pelt a thorough shake to dislodge as much snow as possible, she went to the corner furthest from their entrance, first sitting and then, when he moved to join her, lying down to snuggle against his familiar warmth. She was so happy to have him by her side again – Jethro had become a good friend and so were both Reika and Finley, but it just wasn’t the same.

His thoughts seemed to have gone in a similar direction, the quiet words sending a flood of mixed emotions rushing through her. Almost a year, since they split up, since they lost their family. Almost a year, apart from one another. But a lot of good had happened in that year too, at least for her. “’t went by so fast,” she mumbled in reply, gazing at the frozen falls, glistening faintly as the storm shifted beyond it; “I’m sorry I didn’t come get you sooner.” Her eyes turned to his, the feintest hint of a smile playing around one corner of her mouth.

But it was a hollow joke, tainted by what she had learned during her visit to the Cove. While she had seen life blossom during their time apart, Chan had encountered even more death and misery, the last thing he’d needed to help heal his grief; I shouldn’t have let you go…

Chan felt split on that matter. In some ways it had felt quick, and in others it had seemed to drag. He thought on it, but her next words shook him from those musings with surprise. An apology had not been expected. He leaned into her, and his tail gave a few thumps against the dirt-dusted stone beneath them. She wasn't responsible for him, and certainly not to that extent, but he appreciated her care all the same.

"I don't regret being there."

Even after the awful things that had happened. There were few things in his life that Chan would ever bother to regret, for changing what was done would never be a guarantee of a better outcome. Even the year before, the only difference he would choose would be to have put off gathering water, to have been there for Flair and his children during the assault even if it was impossible for him to have prevented it.

"Besides, you were exactly where you needed to be."

Flair had clearly accomplished a lot in their time apart, and he wouldn't have wanted to take any single moment of that away from her.

(This post was last modified: Mar 13, 2023, 02:35 AM by Chan.)

 

Of course, she knew she couldn’t have stopped him, he’d made his decision then, and done as he thought best; But I could have gone with him… She too had made a choice, and while it had done her and the Paradise Fall wolves good, she couldn’t help but think she’d abandoned him at a time when he’d needed her most. Though perhaps that was selfish, imagining that her presence would have made a difference – she did not begin to think that she could have saved the child when even Chan couldn’t, her track record was even bloodier than his – but maybe she could have helped her friend through the loss, and the returning grief that no doubt gripped him.

Yet, Chan insisted he had no regrets, and though she was skeptical, she chose to believe him. Nuzzling into his side, she ran the tip of her muzzle along his shoulder, happy that, at least now, they were together. She wasn’t sure how to feel about his comment though, pleased as she was with her accomplishments in Kingsfall, and as content as she had been, there had still been that one thing missing; “I just wish y’ could have been there with me.” She answered softly, hoping he understood both the part where she would have him free of this new trauma, and the selfish part too, where she could never fully feel that her place was anywhere without him.

The wind howled beyond their frozen veil, throwing snow against it again and again, but to no effect. All that noise so easily drowned out by his soft breathing and steady heartbeat, the warmth of both his body and all that they shared, bitter and sweet. A soft smile curved the fiery woman’s lips as she thought of her Falls, so close, soon to be theirs both; “I can’t wait fer y’ t’ see it! They’ll all be so happy t’ see you again.”

It would have been nice, he could agree with her, to have been helping build a home with his friends to the north instead of stepping back into the tar of the past. Better yet to have always had her company instead of feeling pressured to constantly pursue isolation for lack of feeling understood. They were indeed together now though, and Chan hoped for the first time in his life that things might at least pause their changing so he could simply enjoy peace for a time. Flair seemed so much healthier now, and he yearned to be where she was in her grief, to have those simple moments in the sun once more.

Besides, ultimately he believed that it likely had been better for the Falls group that Chan had been elsewhere. They hadn't needed him to worry about and try to coddle him amongst everything else it took to raise children and form a pack.

"Oh yeah?" he commented without commitment, lips curling upward in a smile. Surely it wouldn't be all that big of a deal, especially after he'd been gone for so long. The kids likely wouldn't even remember him, Chan assumed. Still, it was nice of her to say, and all that really mattered to him personally was her and @Jethro's feelings on his return.

"... it's hard to picture, honestly. Somewhere I might... stay."

     

She was biased no doubt, thinking the world of him as she did, but in Flair’s mind there would have been no Paradise Falls if it wasn’t for Chan too. He’d been their glue in that first, fragile start, finding Colette and Reika, and poor Finley in over her head, bringing them all to Jethro, knowing his plans. Fin and Jet… She wondered briefly, a stab of worry knitting her brows; What has happened…? She’d ended up leaving her co-leader in quite a precarious situation, but in the end, one only he could sort out – she’d had her own things to worry over.

A chuckly breath escaped her at his apparent skepticism, her eyes rolling a little; “Fin will be glad to see you again at least, and Jethro.” Her tone was teasing, but there was an underlying gravity, his words a stark reminder of just how differently he viewed himself compared to how she did. That thought made her hug him closer, as if she could somehow transfer that feeling of love and wholeness through touch alone. He might think he played no big part in the founding of the pack, but if she’d never met him, she felt very certain she would have never become who she was, capable of leading others, never mind herself.

His comment echoed those thoughts in a way, causing a surprised smile; “I used t’ think th’ same, never able t’ settle down enough. But now, there’s nowhere else I’d wanna be, with th’ good an’ th’ bad.” Her smile faded a little, but not entirely. It pained her still, to think of what they had lost, of course it did, but she had come to rest in it now in a way she never could have if she’d gone somewhere else. In Kingsfall, she still felt close to them, reminded every day of what had happened. At first it had been agony, but now she almost cherished it in a way, conscious of the lessons her ordeal had taught her. She couldn’t have that anywhere else.

Chan couldn't help but notice that she did not mention @Siyet. Perhaps it meant nothing, and at the time he didn't think to ask after the minor exclusion. Flair had already told him that they were all still together, and surely if anything bad had befallen the younger woman he would have heard by now. Of course, he was clueless as to the drama that had just recently unfolded, and even if he had known, those matters were very much none of his business. His thoughts did not dwell on this point.

Instead, he was happy to hear Flair's admission, glad she could sow so much good for herself and the others despite their loss. He wanted to believe it would be the same for him, that now was the time to finally heal, to maybe even feel like he had a purpose again. Things had never panned out for him before like that, however, and Chan couldn't help but feel it was something fundamentally wrong with him. That there just wasn't a place where he belonged so truly.

At least he still had chances like this to try, though. He buried his nose into the ruff of Flair's neck, let out a deep breath.

"I'm so happy for you."

 

She wasn’t the type to gossip or share other wolves’ business behind their backs, never had been, she didn’t see the appeal. It would be Jethro’s decision what to share with Chan once they were back, just like it was his decision what to do about his predicament – she just hoped he’d kept his promise and not done anything stupid.

Her head tugged under Chan’s jaw, a satisfied rumble leaving her at his caress. It really had been almost a year – an entire year in fact, since they’d cuddled much like this at a different waterfall, making rash decisions without ever foreseeing the dire consequences. But things were different now, and as his words reverberated through her bones, she felt a strange twinge in her heart, mind turning over that statement for several moments before her jaws parted; “Y’ think…” she almost stopped herself, biting her lip in fear of the response. But something within willed her to continue, voice quiet and hoarse as she asked: “Y’ think y’ could be happy, with me?”

She’d never been in love, not in the way her parents had, or so many other couples she’d come across. Once, she’d had a crush, and that had only led to heartache. But Chan had been her friend for longer than anyone, stood by her when she was still brash and prickly, teaching her to trust in a way she’d never been able to before. He’d always been there, a presence she’d missed so in the last year, and one she never wanted to lose again. There was no question that she loved him, even if it wasn’t the kind of love shared by mates, it was just as strong, and made her just as happy.

Despite their grief last year, she still wanted a family of her own, and she wanted it with him.

Chan's ears lifted to meet words spoken differently than those which had come before. He waited patiently through her hesitation, though his heart fluttered all the while with anticipation. When the question was out, he did not rush into answering it. Instead he shifted, angling his weight the opposite way to better face Flair, and searched her features briefly. There was an ocean of sentiments she could mean, but rather than try to assume he went with the simplest of truths, the one that existed no matter what.

"I am happy with you."

His own voice came out just as delicately, feeling like he was trying to navigate through fog. Impossible to see what was coming, but at least he knew Flair's hand was in his and that was enough. The worst of trials had already proven to him that whatever he faced, he could make it through if she was with him.

   

She’d always feared such vulnerability above all else, laying her feelings bare like that, a clear opening straight to her heart. And even now, her chest did tighten as Chan moved, though her eyes met his steadily; Trust… That was the heart of it. Knowing that he would not use that openness to harm her.

Indeed, his words were affirming, a fresh smile spreading on her lips. And then, surprising even herself, a small giggle escaped her, girlish and bubbly, not like her at all. Reaching across the small distance he’d made, she touched her nose to his; “I’m glad.” Her vice was still soft, but clearer, more resolved; “I don’t ever wanna be apart again.”

But that was the easy bit, the simple truth that could not hurt him. The next part was a lot more delicate, enough to make her stumble a little; “I want…” That was starting to feel like an uncomfortable echo, a demand; I want, I want…! She bit her lip again, closing her eyes for a moment and breathing deeply, before looking back into his two-colored eyes; “I’d like t’ try again. Now that we have a proper home t’ protect us… If you’re ready.”