Kingsfall how the rest will go

Though Colette hadn't come to any definitive conclusions, she felt a little bit better, after having had around a day to think. There was no way she could, without knowing of his intentions first. But her surprise meeting with Caspian upon the island yesterday had left the ghost in better spirits than she’d been initially, and that was something she hoped to carry into her conversation with Chan.

Unlike previous times, she wasn’t going to try to run or hide from it. If he was going to stay, she wanted to know it, as soon as possible. That way, whatever decision she came to, she could provide to her leaders quickly. As kind as they’d been to allow her in, she owed them at very least that courtesy.

Colette hadn’t returned to the falls in a day. And she still wasn’t quite there when she tipped her head back and announced a short summons for Chan. We need to talk.

Hopefully, without Flair. As much as Cole had come to respect Chan’s new paramour in recent weeks, this wasn’t a conversation for her ears. She hoped to keep it between the two of them. At least until she’d reached a conclusion as to what she intended to do.

for @Chan set evening Mar. 13th

Chan still didn't feel settled in, and had slipped away from the pack to take some time alone to traverse and familiarize himself with this new home. He didn't expect Cole of all wolves to summon him, and he couldn't help but feel a touch unnerved. This was a big leap, considering every other time since, and of course including, their reunion she had wanted nothing to do with him.

Was that why? He hadn't expected her to have stayed here, had she not expected him to ever return?

Chan made his way to where she stood, stepping through the snow-laden foliage to stop a few yards before her. His ears lifted and his mismatched eyes watched her curiously, but he didn't speak. He doubted Colette would leave him wondering for long.

Chan was quick enough to make his appearance. Colette was grateful that he did not keep her waiting, for this was a discussion she was sure both of them would prefer to have this over as soon as possible. The sight of him after all of these months instilled mixed feelings within her, but Cole wouldn’t display or speak of those. Not yet. Perhaps not at all.

He ventured to within a few body lengths, but did not bother with any kind of a greeting, aside from providing her with his attention, and that was more than enough for her. The ghost offered him the slightest of nods, both in greeting and a tiny expression of gratitude for his presence.

”You here to visit? Or are you planning on staying?” She questioned bluntly, absent any emotion. There was no need to put off or delay in asking what she needed to know.

She appeared better off as well, even with the familiar storm clouds roiling in her eyes. Healthier, at the very least. This realization coupled with her harsh stare made him feel a twinge of guilt of being present at all, but that was washed away swiftly. Chan had his own wellbeing and future to think about too, it didn't have to always be about everyone else. ... right?

Collette asked her question and he blinked back at her.

"... I'm hoping to stay," he answered with a hint of tentativeness on his tongue. Nervous even in a moment like this to make anything close to a promise about what was coming next for him.

His answer came quickly, but with just a bit of hesitance. As if he wasn’t sure of it, just yet. Or maybe he was trying to gauge her reaction, to avoid any shouting and anger.

”I see,” the ghost murmured. While the anger was still there, it was far less prevalent than it would’ve been a year ago. Especially after how the last year had treated Chan and his new lover.

Their loss had hurt Colette in a way she’d not felt for a long time. Though it frustrated her to have invested her time in this place only to probably end up leaving it, she couldn’t bring herself to expound any of that. Chan had been through enough. He didn’t need to hear about her complaints and troubles.

”I’m sure Flair and the others are happy about that,” she spoke again, allowing a touch of genuine emotion into the words. These wolves were Chan’s friends, and she wasn’t going to be the one to try to ward him off. If he wanted to stay, she would go - and that would be that.

Chan's ears lifted as Flair was specifically named, brows creasing ever so faintly. For several reasons, he didn't understand why his relationship with the fire-hued wolf would be in any way a vexation for her, even knowing the mixed signals it likely sent everyone outside of it. Colette had made it clear his presence was hardly bearable, shouldn't she be pleased he had a distraction?

"I guess," he conceded, knowing that at least Jethro had been. Still unsure if his being here was really what was best for everyone, or just another selfish action on his part.

"Is that... all you wanted to know?"

Chan still wasn't sure why she'd gone so far as to call him to her, had expected something more than these simple queries. If she was just finally trying to warm up to him, he could be happy for it. This felt instead like another conversation that would eventually lead to hurt feelings, however. Maybe it was in his head, or maybe she was holding something back.

He was different, compared to the last time she’d spoken with him at length. The Chan she’d known was gone, replaced by.. whatever this was. A feeling she could relate to. And it was to be expected, the ghost knew that, but something about it made her uncomfortable in a way she couldn’t quite put a paw on. An uncertain sounding I guess was not quite the response Cole had been anticipating, though.

”I would be, were I any of them. They all like you. Respect you.” It didn’t feel right for her to be the one telling him that. Trying to provide some small measure of assurance, her gaze softened. She didn’t know all of it, but Chan had been the one to bring most of these wolves together - or at least had played a significant role in it.

Was it all she’d wanted to know, though, he asked?

Tentatively, her nose dipped down in a nod. ”It is. I’ve got choices to make, too.” There was no spite or malice. It was what it would be. Trading her for Chan was an exchange Cole believed the entire pack would accept in a heartbeat.

There was one topic, though, that she wasn’t sure what was left of her heart would ever let her forget if she didn’t bring it up.

”I never got to tell you, before. I’m sorry, Chan. About what happened.” The ghost struggled to keep her voice from breaking, for her company, and Flair. She didn’t suppose she could ever quite comprehend the pain of losing one’s own child, but she’d seen and contributed to enough evil to be wholly aware of how all-consuming the guilt could feel. Though it was not possible, Cole desperately wished she could shoulder that feeling for them too. It wasn’t fair that the fates would commit such an atrocity against an undeserving couple.

Chan found himself blinking back at her once again, absorbing the minutiae of what she was saying. Part of him felt guilty hearing the praise; for one thing, he'd always had an aversion to receiving compliments. After everything that had happened during his most recent stay at the Cove, however? Chan was more sure than ever he did not deserve anyone's deference.

Things were made a bit more clear with each sentence, none direct but transparent enough for him to begin to understand what this was. He wouldn't have minded, talking this through with her, but then she brought up them and Chan's inclination was to bare his thorns and swiftly shut down the subject. Time and talks with @Flair had done him a lot of good though, and surprisingly, so had being back in this forest. He recognized his defensiveness before it took over, inhaled deeply, and responded calmly instead.

"That's okay. I don't want to talk about it," he said, giving her the simple truth, "but... I never thanked you, either. For being there for her like that. I... you and Jethro saved us both that day. Thank you, Cole."

If he hadn't had Flair to go through the loss with, it would have gotten the best of him. That was clear by how poorly he'd dealt with his grief even with her companionship.

He didn’t want to talk about it. That statement was hardly a surprise, and it was quite possibly the first thing Chan had said since she’d met him nearly a year ago, that she could completely and wholly agree with, as well as relate to. Some things were better left unspoken. The grief of a parent was probably one of those things.

Cole bowed her head in respect of that wish. She would not press. However, the gesture turned to a slow shake of her head as he - like Flair previously - did go on to thank her for what she’d done. It was still a sentiment the ghost felt wholly undeserving of, but she wasn’t going to protest it. At least not with as much fervor as she had during that initial talk with Flair.

”You don’t need to. That’s what we do, for those we care about.” Because despite all the anger, the guilt, all of her coldness and distance before, Colette couldn’t deny what she felt. She did still care for Chan, for Flair, for all of the wolves here. Having that tiny bit of purpose and positivity as of late had made the darkness seem just a little less dark.

Those we care about. Chan's brow knit further, empathy beginning to show in his eyes. It seemed to him that Cole had gotten more attached to the group than either of them had anticipated, and for someone in her position that meant everything. Was she... going to walk away from it?

"Cole," his voice was soft as he spoke, "why don't you think you're one of them?"

He certainly hadn't missed that phrasing and all it's implications, knew that she was considered a member of this pack by everyone who lived at the Falls. Was it a choice she'd already made, a feeling she couldn't shake? Did a chance this golden scare her? Why would she still consider herself separate?

(This post was last modified: Mar 18, 2023, 05:39 AM by Chan.)