Kingsfall Broken?

THE BROKEN LOCKS WERE A WARNING
YOU GOT INSIDE MY HEAD
I TRIED MY BEST TO BE GUARDED,
I'M AN OPEN BOOK INSTEAD.
- Broken, Lifehouse

'CAUSE WE ARE BROKEN
WHAT MUST WE DO TO RESTORE
OUR INNOCENCE
AND ALL THE PROMISE WE ADORED?
GIVE US LIFE AGAIN
'CAUSE WE JUST WANNA BE WHOLE
- We Are Broken, Paramore

 

Spring still tried to evade Relic Lore, snow continuing to blanket the land and frost holding fast with an iron grip. Yet, Flair was acutely aware of the difference in season, from all the changes in her pack mates, and now, from herself too. It had come late this year, but at last it had arrived, and it made her feelings spike in all directions. Suddenly last years events seemed incredibly close again, despite all the distance she had worked to put between herself and what had happened. All her careful internal debating was challenged by the same doubts and fears, bubbling back to the surface, reignited by repeating nightmares reliving the trauma and the grief.

Yet, paradoxically, she found her longing had grown stronger too. Thinking back to last year, she remembered the intimacy her and Chan had shared, and what had come from it had been so sweet while it lasted. She had otherwise come to think that she would never truly desire such things, and yet here she was – perhaps it was just her hormones, playing tricks on her, yet she was more than willing to be fooled. She ached to be a mother, even more so after seeing Finley with her boys and helping her raise them. She’d tried to shower all her pent up love on those pups, to treat them as she would have done her own if they hadn’t been taken from her. But still there was more, and she feared it would always be there, pressing in her heart, unable to get out.

Such conflicted and unable to sleep for fear of the nightmares, the night had become her refuge. She’d wander the Falls, over and over, making sure that everyone was safe, and that everything was still the Paradise they’d hoped for. Tonight being no different, she’d stopped only briefly to rest, at the bottom of the frozen falls, watching a stray beam of moonlight reflecting off the ice – happy that, if nothing else, she could still see that beauty.

(This post was last modified: Mar 19, 2023, 03:22 AM by Flair.)

Chan had come to a resolution, and with it he felt a deep sense of peace he hadn't experienced in years. Those pieces he'd been waiting on seemed to finally click into place as he faced down the lingering demons hidden amongst each shadow of this tall forest, Flair's words ever echoing within his mind. He wanted to live again, and on his own terms. To do so, Chan could forsake what was here out of fear and hope something else awaited him on some unknowable horizon, or he could summon all of his bravery and seize the imperfect perfection that had been found in her companionship.

Her scent had begun to change, and it brought back similar memories to him as he followed after. There was an unease in the pit of his stomach, but it was an accompaniment, not the prominent feeling within him. Whatever came, he would be certain in this decision.

"Flair?" he called out when he spotted her, a warm glow amongst the iced-over landscape. His tail wagged in greeting, a smile that felt much more like himself than the ones he'd worn at the Cove curling his lips.

   

The night was quiet, most of the pack at rest in the caverns dotting the rocks all around. In spite of everything rushing back to her, she was happy to be home in the only place she had ever truly belonged. Breathing in the cold night air, she tried to push away all those negative feelings, focusing on the positives all around her.

It was made easier when she heard his call, the mere sound of his voice already soothing her heart. She turned to smile brightly at him, tail giving a soft sway about her hocks. Seeing him here was such a joy, one she still couldn’t quite believe, and with that expression on his face, she didn’t think anything could make her more happy.

“Yeah?” She answered softly, taking a few steps to meet him and reaching out to brush her muzzle against his.

She was stunning in the moonlight, that smile of hers able to make everything feel right with the world. His adoration for Flair was unmatched, and he felt confident that even if the worst of both their past demons came back for them again, his loyalty to her would not waver, not after everything they'd been through. All other competitors, even that blue-eyed what-if, wouldn't be able to surmount what they had been through together and the simple comfort she was able to bring him.

He hadn't had to try, hadn't needed to bend and break to fit, to convince and explain. They had come together and stayed bonded as naturally and effortlessly as magnetism. A name didn't need to be put to it for him to know that one way or another, he simply belonged at Flair's side.

Chan leaned into her greeting, nose tracing her jawline before nuzzling into the fur beneath her left ear.

"I want to try too," he murmured just loud enough to be heard.

"As long as... you're okay with being attached at the hip for the foreseeable future..."

If they were going to do this, he knew he would not be able to stand being apart again for fear that something would happen to her the moment he turned his back. Chan would only ever be a bark away, there to bare whatever the world conjured this time alongside her.

His touch was both calming and electrifying, making her heart beat faster, filling her whole body with warmth. In one moment, all of those fears melted away, her soul coming to rest alongside his as effortlessly as her muzzle slotted over his shoulder. Like two pieces coming together to form one whole. And she knew that, whatever else happened, she would be happy as long as he was by her side.

She hadn’t mentioned their conversation in the frozen cave again since, firm in her resolve to let him think and decide at his own pace. But of course, her current state was a prompt in itself, a warning that the time would soon be up. Still, his words took her slightly by surprise, a soft gasp escaping her. Part of her had been convinced he’d say no, she realized, that she’d squandered her one chance last year. But no.

Pulling back just far enough to look into his eyes, she felt a connection even stronger than last years. This was not a split decision, a desperate grasp out of loneliness. They’d both thought hard, had tried being apart and build other lives, only to find themselves drawn back together so strongly, there was no longer any doubt that this was meant to be. And this time there was a proper home to keep them all safe.

A low, hoarse chuckle followed his addendum, her ear titling back in submission. “Don’t worry, I plan on stayin’ right here.” She answered, resolutely. If they were going to do this, she would remain firmly within the territory for the whole duration, and if Chan felt best being right there with her, then she would happily accept it. Undoubtedly, she would go half crazy by the end, but that was a small price to pay.

He had anticipated her to understand his concern, just as they had understood one another in every other moment through their shared trauma. His smile broadened and he rested his forehead against hers, taking another deep breath. Finally, as he exhaled, Chan felt every muscle relax, a true and total sense of relief washing over him untainted by guilt or doubt or self-loathing. Instead he felt light, genuinely happy, and even felt the bubbling of playfulness begin to take root.

Chan nibbled at the fur on Flair's cheek before pushing forward, brushing his shoulder down the length of her frame then curling around the other side to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her. A smirk, and nod of his head toward elsewhere.

"Found a place I've been meaning to show ya. Do you have time now?"

Another little hiding place amongst the redwoods, where they would be guaranteed privacy.

She felt the change in him as their heads came together, her own smile growing. Worries and arguments faded quickly as their decision was made, together, and she felt her chest suddenly swell and buzz, as if filled with hundreds of tiny butterflies.

A playful yip escaped her at his touch, and she snapped lightly at his tail as it passed by. But otherwise she remained still, feeling the heat blossom and spread from where his body rubbed hers, all around. Her instinct spurred her to move things along, but her heart was stronger, wanting to stretch this moment out as long as possible – to simply be, with him.

A full grin on her face as their eyes met again and she bobbed her head at the suggestion; “I’ll always have time fer you.” She reached out to run her nose all along his jaw and to the tip of his muzzle, before whispering: “lead the way.”