Dead Empress Backwater ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

Seri Donata

and dreaming when they're gone

His friend had told him that the mud brothers were no more… that the mud club did not exist. He knew, from a very basic standpoint, that it had to do with Archer and Kateri but he could not help but take it as a blow and an attack to himself as well… the brotherhood was the only family he had left. His mother had disappeared, abandoning him for whatever the hell she was doing now, and his father had died. Eros and Archer and their brotherhood was all that he had.

He wasn’t going to take ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ for an answer anymore. Stubbornly, the boy emerged from the pack den, chasing down the scent of his friend with a renewed determination to get some answers from him… to make him confront whatever feelings were brewing under the surface.

“Eros!” He called up, finding the familiar form of his friend as he ran up behind him, falling in along his side. “Eros, we really need to talk about whatever it was that led to you calling it quits on the mud club.” He stated, a serious voice that the boy seldom held. He knew his friend was going through a lot, but he wasn’t the only one going through a lot and he had made such a unilateral decision… Seri needed to talk about it, even if Eros didn’t want to.

Eros was brooding as he combed the pack's patch of forest over for the umpteenth time, a common pastime for him anymore. He was far off from the jubilant youth he'd been just scant months earlier, a stubborn defense mechanism that had finally failed him enough to be replaced. The teen had put up a good fight, but the world had sunk its fangs in deeper than he ever realized it could and now he was growing those thorns he'd watched the adults ensnare one another in, needing to protect himself from further emotional harm.

His ears jumped when he heard Seri call his name, but the rest of him remained low, hunched and prowling. Still he slowed his pace a touch, a way of wordlessly acknowledging his best friend as well as allowing him to catch up to his side quicker.

When he reached him and spoke again, his words caused Eros' eyes to widen while his muzzle crinkled. He stopped briefly, turning his head to regard his age-mate with a nearly scornful look.

"'Whatever it was'?"

He let out a breath that was almost a scoff, and continued forward, brows knit and gaze ahead.

"You know why."

(This post was last modified: May 16, 2023, 01:53 AM by Eros.)

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

Seri Donata

and dreaming when they're gone

He found a lack of amusement on his features as his friend let out a scoff and kept his gaze ahead as he moved. You know why. The punctual manner of the ‘know’ telling him there was just a hint of annoyance in his tone but Seri was never one to back down from a challenge. “Of course I know why.” He gruffed as he moved to be in front of the man and cut him off in his path. “It was my sister so of course I know.” Not that he had been raised with his sister, but it did not change the fact that he and she shared a father… a recently dead father.

“But he’s also your brother, family, and a mud brother and we made a promise to always be there for each other.” He would state with a certain stubbornness he no doubt took after his father for. “If we don’t have each other, then what the hell do we have in this world?” What did any of them have if not for the bonds they had built along the way… perhaps it was different, because Eros had family… but he truly only had the mud brothers and he needed a better excuse than Archer misstepping for it’s devolution.

Rather than continue the walk Seri cut in front of him, forcing Eros to stop and regard him once more. His ears leaned back and a deep frown kept residence on his face, but as annoyed as he appeared he did listen to his friend as he said his piece.

"Yeah and Archer shit on that promise. He put your sister before all of us, put getting laid before all of us. So obviously, childish oaths and a bit of mud don't actually mean anything."

So what was the point of keeping any of it up? If Archer couldn't be trusted like that, no one could, and he wasn't gonna pretend otherwise or turn the other cheek for his brother, or anyone else, to hurt him that deeply again.

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

Seri Donata

and dreaming when they're gone

Archer might have shit on that promise, done something that they both deemed horrible… but that did not give them leave to do the same, did it? His eyes clouded with conflicting emotions. Of course he was mad; that was his sister! But how could it be so clear cut as Eros was making it? What if they cared for each other? What if they were meant to be?

“It means everything, Eros. Don’t you understand that?” A genuine hurt lingered in his voice. “That childish oath and bit of mud gave me a family when my own had turned it’s back on me and I can’t just let it go and say that it meant nothing because someone else fucked up. I won’t because that means I’m alone. Again..” It meant Eros would abandon him to, just as Archer had abandoned them, just as Vanadis had abandoned Eros, just as both of his parents had: in death and in leaving quickly underfoot after a disagreement.

There had to be more than that. "And you promised... unless you're going to break your promise like he did."

In Seri's next response, the hurt radiated from his words, and Eros began to understand where the conflict here truly lie. His features softened, though that minute frown remained in place. He stepped forward, close enough to touch his nose to his best friend's muzzle in reassurance.

"Hey. We're more than a club we made up when we were kids, okay? You're more than some lost kid, you always have been."

Mud was far from the only thing that bonded Seri and Eros, and the Donata's friendship with Viorel's son was not the only thing that made him a part of the Backwater. Eros had thought the other boy understood this, but he realized now that perhaps he didn't, that maybe he'd been harboring insecurities about all of it all along.

"You're my best friend because you're fun, and kind, and honest. You're a part of this family because you belong here, and you work hard and you think about the others. I'm not cutting you out too, I just..." hesitation, a breath- he didn't like talking about Archer because, "it hurts. And I need to be able to move on from it."

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

Seri Donata

and dreaming when they're gone

Eros assured him that they were family, but he felt a pit in his stomach all the same as he thought about it. It didn’t feel like he was more, not when the mud brothers were supposed to be more. “Are we?” He asked, his voice softening slightly, a conflicted look lingering in his eyes as the pit began to churn in his stomach. It didn’t feel right, but maybe that was all of the issues that he had been putting off dealing with.

“We can say that Eros, but actions speak too…” It was his own insecurities brimming under the surface. Perhaps it was simply the lack of belonging that he had felt his entire life.

And then he was speaking to him, telling him the reasons why they were friends and it made him feel… marginally better. He couldn’t say that it completely sated the fear. A frown found his features and he nodded in understanding at least to what he was saying.

“I’m not asking you to pretend like it doesn’t hurt.” He stated with a certainty before he continued. “But it’s okay to talk to me… healthy even! Do you remember what it was like when my Dad died? And I shut down? It was bad for me because I wasn’t openly expressing everything. I bottled it up inside.”

Eros definitely remembered Aleister's passing and the waves of damage it had caused. Everything bad seemed to have come from those mountains, from that pack. Sephrina and Xulia wouldn't have died if it wasn't for the Cove. Seri's heart wouldn't have been broken if his father had chosen a safer home for himself and his children. Archer wouldn't have betrayed them if he'd never met Kateri.

"What more is there to talk about?"

Because there was little he wanted to rehash about the incident, and little he thought he hadn't already made clear. He felt bad that his moods were affecting Seri, but at the same time this was him feeling his emotions and he needed time with them. They couldn't be chatted away or quickly shaken, not when the originating wound had been so severe.

And so I tell myself that I'll be strong

Seri Donata

and dreaming when they're gone

Seri could not share in his disdain for the pack… in his mind, everything bad had come from the universe, from his mother leaving… from wolves making choices, not any one pack or structure. The Cove had given him a brief glipse of family before his father passed, something that Eros had reinforced with his family and their open acceptance of him into their lives the way that they had.

When he asked what more there was to talk about, Seri frowned. He… hadn’t really thought that far? “Anything… why Archer doing what he did hurt you so much… maybe even why you think he did it… I keep asking myself that… because I don’t really understand.” He didn’t understand why Archer had run off with his sister of all things and knocked her up like an utter floozy.

In some ways, it reminded him of his mom and his dad, the way they fought the one time they had interacted… the interaction that had ruined his relationship with his mother.

None of his friend's suggestions were in any way appealing, and Eros couldn't help but let out an audibly-frustrated sigh as his haunches finally hit the earth. Fine. For Seri, he would give a little. Even if he didn't see how voicing these things really helped him, maybe it'd help his best friend. That could be enough in itself, for sure. That didn't make it easy though, and his demeanor remained begrudging.

"He did it because he was thinking with his dick," he scoffed, "he doesn't have any other excuse."

His citrus-colored eyes were downcast as he spoke, and remained there. What was said next was just above a murmur.

"Obviously, he wasn't the kind of brother I thought he was."