Iridescent Lagoon Just keep kicking as you go down

Archer Valle

Archer half expected another dismissive response, a scoff and an eyeroll and snide, "Well what did you expect?" He expected some sort of confirmation that Eros didn't actually care and was only here to gloat, to rub in the fact that Archer had failed and Viorel was right. He'd been expecting some sort of... something this entire time, and now would be the perfect time to say it, but instead his brother just looked... shocked. He blinked, and then dropped one word, and continued to stare.

Gaze flicking away again, Archer feigned scanning the waterline for his daughter and swallowed. He couldn't talk about this with Ally, he needed to be strong for her. How cruel was it that his brother would show up the day they left? He glanced back. "My son is dead," he repeated. He was going to leave it at that, it was more than Eros deserved, but now that he started the words kept coming. "He was born sick and Kat went looking for medicine and never came back and Andy died." He supplied his chosen reason to believe why Kat had left instead of say she'd just vanished. That was one wound too far, right now.

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Initially he only repeated himself, but then more details came. Eros' brows furrowed while his jaw slackened, the horror of it sinking in slow but bitingly certain. Had they both died on him then? As mad as he'd been at Kateri too, as selfish as he thought her actions to be, he did not see his academic peer ever just abandoning children she'd birthed. Even if things looked impossibly dark. ... right?

He swallowed, looked away, tried to ground himself against the swell of emotion this heartbreaking news brought on. Eros had wanted his sibling to bear the consequences of his choices, meaning having to work to provide for his family without his brother and father sweeping up behind. He hadn't wanted him tortured.

Part of him wanted to rush forward and embrace his brother, to comfort him, but how could he know that would be welcome? What if Archer blamed him and Viorel for these things? Eros' legs began to shake, and he sunk down onto his stomach. His eyes burned, but for now he was able to keep the tears back with blinking. This wasn't about him, or Archer's mistakes. In that moment, he just wanted to be told what to do to help.

Eros had no idea how to put that into words, though. His eyes kept scanning, searching around their paws as though the answer might be written somewhere in the sandy earth. It wasn't. He let out a low, mournful whine.

(This post was last modified: Jul 14, 2023, 03:40 AM by Eros.)

Archer Valle

Like his brother, Archer's legs shook. The weight of his grief, the strength it took to just keep standing wearing on him as hard as ever. He watched the emotions wash over Eros's face, jaw dropping, and then he just melted to the ground. Archer wanted more than anything to drop as well, to let the overwhelming pain of these past months take him...

But he didn't have the luxury of grief. He couldn't afford to give in to it - not now, when he was the only one left. Archer didn't know if he'd be able to pull back out of it once he let it consume him, and he wouldn't abandon his daughter the way Viorel had abandoned them to his own grief. He wouldn't leave her on her own to navigate the loss of her brother and mother on her own. He was the adult; it was his responsibility to teach her and allow her to process. He could do it later.

And yet... support was right there. Archer took a half-step forward. "Eros-" he said, voice breaking on the name. He hadn't thought he would ever speak it again, as angry as he was, but it turned out his love for his brother ran so deep within him he folded the moment they came face to face.

Or maybe Archer was simply so broken he couldn't help but crumble.

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Eros saw Archer move from the corner of his eye, gaze drawn as he tried to say his name. It broke his heart, hearing so much pain in just that one word. It was the minimal reassurance he needed to push past his own reservations. He crawled forward and then sat up to sidle against his brother, wrapping his neck around the other's shoulders and hugging his as closely as a wolf could manage.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into Archer's dark fur. Not for their argument, but for all this that happened after. As much as his trust in his sibling had been shaken, he still knew he would die certain that Archer could never do something so awful it would deserve this. This was the definition of unfair.

M for swearing

Archer Valle

He somehow managed not to run to his brother. He managed not to beg for help like he so desperately wanted to. He'd helped Eros through so many mistakes, through so many fights with Viorel or Sharlee. He'd agreed to run away and start their own pack. He still felt the pang of betrayal for Eros's ire upon his return that left Archer grieving the loss of everyone by himself.

Eros crawled toward him and stood and suddenly Archer was pulled against his littermate in an embrace. He stiffened. What was this? How could Eros suddenly care now, when he'd so clearly hated him? When he'd been so happy to see his own brother run off for a mistake, one the Backwater's other leader had been willing to excuse, to vouch for him to stay in his home, to raise his children in safety?

But maybe he really did care. Eros was grieving too, and he'd had more time to do so, with a support system that had been ripped away from Archer. Maybe now he realized just how unfair things had been, that Archer had been punished beyond what was warranted. He'd only been doing his best and gotten nowhere - everything had gone wrong regardless of what he'd done to try and keep their family safe.

Archer wanted to lean into him. He wanted to fall apart and take just a moment to allow himself to feel everything when he was safe in his brother's embrace. Only, it would hurt all the more when Eros left again. When Eros reminded Archer how much of a fuckup he was, how far he'd fallen. Archer didn't know if he could survive that again.

And then Eros apologized. Archer didn't know for what - there was so much he felt he was owed. Was it for the horrible judgement he had passed without giving Archer the chance to defend himself? The broken promises of allowing each other to speak their truth, and to support one another? Was it for the betrayal of simply refusing to be his brother when Archer needed it most? Or was Eros seeking comfort for himself, to absolve himself of whatever guilt he might feel over Andy's death?

Archer wanted to pull away. He wanted to be strong and remind Eros that he was on his own now and he could take care of things himself. ...But he had grown up in a family, where even when they messed up they loved each other. He'd only ever known a life with support and forgiveness and care until now and he wanted to believe that Eros truly was sorry for the hurt he'd caused.

And he missed his brother.

Archer crumpled into his littermate with a choked sob and finally, finally, he let the grief and heartache and soul-rending agony of his existence wash over him. Just a few moments, Archer promised himself. Just a few moments to pretend that he really did have his brother back.

(This post was last modified: Jul 16, 2023, 02:49 AM by Archer.)

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Eros closed his eyes as Archer shook, reminded painfully of the other times he'd held a wolf he cared about as they grieved death. Their condition of constantly fighting for survival sucked, for a lack of a better word, and he was so tired of watching it tear them all apart from the inside out each time it claimed a life. What was worse, was that it all had proven inevitable. There was no avoiding these moments and this grief. One day, it'd be him and Archer on death's door.

He understood now, though, how they should have actually handled the situation. What might have taught the same lesson while maybe keeping Archer's little family he'd made for himself together. Eros had truly thought...

Archer began to calm, pulling Eros from his thoughts once more. He pulled back a touch, groomed some stray tufts of fur at his brother's tear-smeared cheek, and then asked, "What do you want to do?"

Archer Valle

Archer cried. He cried and it felt good, it felt like everything he'd been holding onto was bleeding out of him. He'd promised only a minute, but once he let the dam go one moment bled into two, and then two into three, and Archer couldn't stop it. He let go. And Eros held him. He didn't move, he didn't pull away, he didn't justify. He was just there. He was there the way Archer had needed months ago.

He was late, but perhaps... perhaps he wasn't too late. Maybe Archer hadn't completely destroyed everything on the way out.

It was only when the flow finally ebbed and Archer was left feeling empty that Eros stepped back and gently groomed him for a moment before asking his question. The darker man blinked at his brother. "What?" he asked. It had almost felt like they were younger and Eros was asking him what they should do and that... that was one thing too far for Archer to assume.

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

Eros was not perplexed by his brother's confusion. They'd left on awful terms, but that didn't matter now. The scales had not only balanced, they'd tipped. What mattered most to him now was ensuring Archer and any surviving children (if there were any) were taken care of. He sure as hell wasn't just leaving his sibling like this, not unless Archer wanted to chase him away himself. Even then...

Well, there was a reason Eros had been searching so hard for the runaway lovers.

"You're not... staying here, right?" his peach eyes searched Archer's face with concern.

"I get if you don't wanna come ho-, to the Backwater, but- Archer you have to be with a pack. I'll help you, okay?"

Archer Valle

Archer was starting to feel better now; the control was returning, the careful walls he'd built slowly shoring up. Now that he'd allowed himself to cry he could feel the gaping pit of nothingness inside his gut, the place where Kateri and Andy were supposed to be. He almost preferred the raging storm to this numb.

But it would soon find something else to spout into the lakebed of Archer's emotion. He finally met his brother's gaze, saw the concern there. He still wanted to believe it was genuine. He was finally starting to feel like it might be, too, but then Eros had to go and speak again and the younger brother let out an ill laugh. "I can't go back, even if I wanted to," Archer all but snapped, "which I don't. We all made choices. He shut down. You were off with Seri. Despite how hard I tried to keep everybody safe I had no baby siblings and my sister was dead and I was alone. I failed. And then I made the worst choice of all and I apologized and I wanted to make it right but he never gave me the chance. Neither did you. You both passed your judgement and he chose his grief over me, and he will keep choosing his grief!" Archer was trying to keep his voice down, but as he spoke the anger he'd been feeling these last months returned and by the time he finished he was yelling. He forced himself to take a deep breath, closing his eyes and counting to five before opening them again.

"He always loved the girls more than us," he said, quieter now, looking at his feet. "He always loved them more than us and I think he would trade me, or you, or Oli, or all of us, if it meant he could get Sephrina back." He looked back up at his brother now, tears in his eyes. "I've lost my child, but I still have one left, and I refuse to be like him. I can't - won't - shut down and leave her alone."

Archer glanced over his shoulder, his tirade finishing as his mind turned back to his daughter. Where is she? But she was nowhere to be seen so he once again looked at his brother. "I would have followed you anywhere, Eros. When you asked me to leave my home and start a pack with you, I was reluctant to go but I was willing. You're my brother; I love you more than anyone, even Kateri. Even now, except for Ally, I love you most. But I can't follow you this time."

He had his daughter to look after now, and that meant trying to find her mother.

"...Do you want to meet your niece?" he asked tentatively, offering yet another olive branch.

Archer is very haggard and thin; it is obvious he is not doing well.

There was the residue of their conflict. Eros' ears tipped back, annoyance crossing his features at certain points, but still far from riled. If everything had been going fine for his brother, it would have been a true argument. In the wake of reality? He let Archer get it all out, fighting back the points that raised to mind with each accusation.

Like how he'd come back the day they'd all found out about Sephrina and Isla. How he'd felt he'd been trying to be there for Archer, he just wasn't the only family that needed him, their father getting just as much attention. That he wasn't just 'off with Seri', his brother still seeming to feel he'd just left for fun, he was trying to bring back their mother. That all they'd seen from him was avoidance and excuses after impregnating Kateri, not true ownership.

Clearly, his brother's emotions were genuine. Maybe it made it easier, having them to blame as well. How would Eros know?

'He always loved the girls more than us...' The tawny Valle frowned deeper, brows drawing with mild confusion. He'd never felt that way, personally. If it had been one of their bodies brought home instead, Eros couldn't imagine Viorel reacting any differently. If anything, Seph's death was just more unfair. She hadn't been dealt a full hand from the start, and he knew his parents had always worried for her. Then Viorel let her go once and all the worst came true.

It was important to know though, that Archer felt this way. Had it been like that before this whole mess with Kateri? Speaking of...

'I would have followed you anywhere, Eros.'

He remembered the conversation well. It had been the first red flag, at least in his eyes. Yes, he wanted to meet Archer's surviving child. This wasn't just quite finished yet, though.

"Do you remember the first thing you said to me when I told you I might want to leave our family? That I couldn't handle being close to our own father anymore, to the point I felt I had to say goodbye to our home?" Eros asked, his voice unchanged.

"Where to, can Kat come?"

(This post was last modified: Jul 18, 2023, 12:23 AM by Eros.)