She felt numb. It wasn’t a new feeling, the emptiness that crawled inside of her. She’d felt it after Aleister’s passing… she’d felt it at Sephrina’s death… she had felt it after each of her children had disappeared on after another and as those who remained turned almost unrecognizable to her. She floated as a shell, a worrisome shell who attempted to keep her daughter safe. That was all she could do. Eat, sleep, watch Jessamy, repeat.
It was minimal, and she had no doubt the pack noticed… but she didn’t care.
She’d spent her entire life caring, and she wasn’t certain she had anything left in her anymore to keep on. Moon was gone, Oksana gone. She was surrounded by the constant reminders of what the mountain had taken from her. Aleister was gone, Chan was gone… it took and it took until there was nothing left.
Nash was gone… and yet even his return did little to creep into the hollow shell she felt herself becoming. Instead, she silently nudged her daughter out of the den towards her father’s call, her eyes scanning the skies. Whether or not it was for hawks or the thin hope that Sari would be returned, she did not know.
Sari was gone, Kateri was gone.
Whether it was because they had all left the mountain or died on it… there was one common cause. The damned blasted mountain.
Her grandchildren were gone. Archer was gone, infected by the mountain the moment he had met Kateri, leaving Ally an orphan with a wolves Aquene hardly trusted. And they hardly trusted her. She’d allowed the feeling to become mutual after Eros’s visit, with the loss of Sari, and the loss of Magg’s first few.
There was too much pain all around, surrounding her and suffocating her. Even as she arrived she’d have a distant and empty look in her eye that Nash wouldn’t have seen since Aleister’s death. And even then she’d been better at hiding it.
If she were more alert, perhaps she might have been terrified by it. By the lack of attention she’d given the pack since Nash left for the Falls on a mission, taking Matos with him. A part of her wished they hadn’t come back, as if it would save them from whatever horrors the Cove was meant to endure next.