Fallen Tree Cove Fill the coffins in my head

This is AW for ONE SC wolf please, not one of this year's pups as this is in FTC across the lake. Takes place early evening 6/26.

Nash sat beside his parents' combined grave, staring at the rocks that concealed them, and seeing nothing. His mind buzzed, filled with haze like fog over the water.

He'd come out here to be alone, perhaps to talk to his parents like he'd talked to his dad all the times he'd visited over the years.

Years.

It felt like just yesterday and like an eternity at the same time. Years since he'd returned home. Ages since he'd left. Mere moments since he'd covered his father's broken body. A lifetime since he dug a hole for his mother and watched her lie in it.

Everything had gone so wrong.

Now that he was here he couldn't find words. What was the point? They weren't actually here, just their remains. He hadn't been to visit his dad in forever - maybe because he wasn't lonely anymore. He had his wife and his children and-

"I'm trying to be strong," he finally said, voice wrecked. He trembled.

Tomorrow they would be leaving. The pups were old enough to make the trek as long as they went slowly, and he didn't want to risk anything bad happening to them in this cursed place. The journey would be dangerous, but if they stuck together, maybe... maybe they could make it somewhere safer. Somewhere they could finally find some peace.

He needed to keep being strong. Sari's loss had... it had broken Aquene. The woman he loved was gone and it killed Nash to know he was useless. She would know what to do, were their roles reversed... she could have helped him. He wanted to help her, he just didn't know how... didn't know if he could help.

"I'm so tired of being strong," he whispered, nearly a whimper.

There was still so much work to do. He had to lead his pack, had to provide them the courage and motivation he lacked. He had to show them they could still be strong... just somewhere else. He needed to do his job. He needed to be a leader. He needed to be a father. He needed...

He needed a break. Just a moment to himself to break down where nobody else could see him, where nobody would know how weak he truly was. How fragile. How worthless. And then tomorrow, when they needed to leave, he could be strong again.

Here, where his parents rested, Nash hunched over and let the sobs consume him. He sank to his belly, nose pressed between his paws, and fell apart.

WHEN THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO BURN

Magg had taken the twins to visit with grandma @Aquene and their age-mate aunt, as well as asked @Matos to watch over them all. Only then did she ever feel comfortable taking time to herself; there had certainly never been a time she'd left her children unattended, not even for a second, even on their best-behaved days. She'd opted for a walk rather than anything truly constructive, and happened upon her father's scent trail leading outside of the pack. The same way most took when they visited that old territory. With everything happening, Magg made the choice to follow. It was the first time she'd left the pack's bounds in months. She could hear him from a distance, and it tugged at her heart. Still, she did not rush. Magg approached calmly, and settled in at Nash's side without a word, directly next to him so that her side leaned flush against his. Even she could recognize how much her dad was going through, what all of this had to be doing to him inside. Even worse, he was actually a good parent; it wasn't just him and his own tragedies he had to shoulder, unlike his most-selfish eldest daughter.

YOU HAVE TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE

(This post was last modified: Jun 28, 2024, 02:39 AM by Eros.)

Nash was so consumed in his grief he forgot to remain aware of his surroundings. Normally he would have an ear out for a bear, or a cougar, or even a rival wolf. He didn't forget it was coyotes that had driven them all from their home to begin with, that they had plagued his father for so long. There were so many dangers... and yet right now, in this moment, he didn't care about any of that. He couldn't think about anything but how exhausted he was, about the weight of the world crushing down on him. His mind was blank - or what is so full of everything he was drowning beneath it all?

It didn't particularly matter. Nash hadn't heard her approach, and when she settled beside him he nearly jumped out of his fur. He stared at her, blinking rapidly to try and clear his eyes, clear his mind, yank back the armor he'd been wearing for weeks - months - and return to the man she needed him to be. "Magg- I- I'm sorry, I-" he mentally scrambled for something to say. "I'm fine," he landed on, unconvincingly. His guard was down, he'd let go, and now he couldn't seem to make the bravado come back.

WHEN THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO BURN

Magg hadn't really expected anything different. Again, Nash was a good dad, and he put everyone else first. It was kind of pointless at times like these, though, wasn't it? She didn't budge, or rush to assure him that his cover wasn't fully blown. Things were what they were, and right now, everyone was some type of broken. Her almond-shell eyes were staring, at a spot somewhere amongst the ground. Nowhere in particular. Her vision was turned inward, dim and reflective. "You don't need to be," she answered simply, with little emotion in her voice. If anything, a neutral gentleness. "No one else is." And it was perfectly understandable why for each of them, wasn't it? Why not her father too?

YOU HAVE TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE

(This post was last modified: Aug 12, 2024, 12:22 AM by Magg.)

Nash tried to reign it in, tried to put that bravado back in place, tried to shuffle back behind the cover he'd put up to protect his pack, but he hadn't been ready. It was hard to damn a flood once it had been unleashed and h is emotions were a veritable torrent. And then, instead of agreeing or letting him regain his composure his eldest daughter simply looked at him and understood. He blinked at her for a moment. It wasn't as though he'd expected harsh words from her, even with the recent tension. Nash knew she still loved him; if she hadn't, she would have run away.

Like Eclypse. Like Mona.

He shouldn't lean on his daughter. He was the parent, she was the child, he was supposed to be reliable for her. That didn't change anything when he crumpled into her side, burying his face in her shoulder, and the torrent came anew.

WHEN THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO BURN

It was a bit of relief, to not have to entertain any kind of dancing around the shit show that had become their lives. Still, that wasn't to say it was easy to hear so much pain and grief in her father's every breath, to hear him so rawly broken in a way she'd never witnessed. He'd been strong for her many times before, Magg could do the same for him. Especially after what he'd most recently lost. When some time had passed, and his weeping began to ebb, she spoke again. Softly, in a way that she really didn't anymore, except in the most heartfelt moments with her daughters. Occasions which were rather rare themselves. "I've always wanted to grow up to be you, y'know. Do things just like you did." She'd fucked that up by now, maybe in more ways than one. Still... "That hasn't changed, not really. You're still the wolf I admire most. The best wolf I know, even when everything keeps trying to knock us down." And even if he still needed a shoulder to cry on.

YOU HAVE TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE