Paradise Falls pain's like cold water, your brain just gets used to it

Forward dated to September 12th 2024. Finley will post one more time on September 20th. AW to any member of PF but Finley is specifically calling for @Ryder and @Atara
Late morning, broken clouds, 64F/18C

The day was beautiful, sun filtering in and out of the clouds as the world warmed up despite the fact that many of the trees were beginning to change colours. The woman lay with her head in her paws falling in and out of sleep as she had been doing for days at this point. The pain in her ears had strangely grown dull, but so had everything around her. Hearing was muffled, her whole body ached, but mostly she felt a type of tired that she had never experienced before. It went deep, ran through her veins with every heartbeat, every breath felt like a sleepy sigh.

She knew it was time, and she was okay with that. She had lived a long enough life, had three beautiful children and had gotten to know real love with Jethro. She had traveled from her birth pack and lived in a true paradise, hell she had achieved things she had never thought possible and led for a little while. She only wished that she had been able to have Caspian and Jethro back here with her.

Internally she warred, not wanting to cause any more trauma than her family already had and also deeply not wanting to be alone. In the end it was the latter that won and the agouti woman lifted her muzzle to the sky for one final time and sang out her song, long and sad, filled with goodbyes and things that she didn’t know how to put into words. Then she felt her eyes begin to flutter close, but she fought against it, needing to see her children before she couldn’t see anything anymore.

She loved them, and she needed them to know.

They were losing her, and nothing anyone did made a difference. Atara had thought she'd felt grief's depths when her father had disappeared, but even the pain of then could not touch what it felt like to watch her mother die. She didn't go far, and had even ceased hunting for herself and Finley both once the matriarch's condition had deteriorated enough to force her to face the inevitable. Atty had to be there for her, even to the last, no matter how much it hurt to do so.

She heard her voice and was there in a matter of heartbeats, pressing up against her mother's side and nuzzling her cheek soothingly.

"I'm right here, Mom."

Already her eyes burned with tears, try as she may to fight them back. This wasn't fair. She wasn't even an adult yet. She needed her mother.

can be considered a cameo unless called closer ;;

She would not press deep into the space, but she was there. Like a specter, like a reaper. She refused to believe it as if it was her own mother who laid there. Except she had not truly ever known her mother and Finley had given her so much. It was through the matriarch that she had been allowed to become such herself.

Finley had given Isla a new world. Now Isla must watch as the creator of that world fizzled out into star dust.

A lump in her throat, it would go no further than that, but it was there. Pressed hard against her pulse and her windpipe. She wanted to take off and skulk like she once would have. Yet she needed to stay, she needed to see the outcome for herself. Even if only from a distance.

The day his mother's ear 'ruptured' had been the same day he and @Hazelnut had been unable to find @Indigo. Losing her had been like getting sucked up into a twister, and when it set him back down again, Finley was fading away. He hounded Chan and @Riven both incessantly, brought her food and water and cleaned her fur and tried to make sure she was comfortable, but then he'd have to go and soothe the voice in his head that kept telling him his daughter would vanish again if he was away too long. Back and forth, with things seeming worse every visit.

He'd already been on his way to her again when she called out, and his long legs broke into a run. Ryder didn't even notice that Isla was there before him, he barely even registered Atara. He wanted to speak, but each time his jaws parted nothing came out. He was shaking like a leaf caught in a gale when lowered down next to her other side.

This couldn't be happening. There had to be something they could still do. His mom couldn't be leaving them, leaving him.

Riven had been torn between Adelard and Finley these days, doing what he could to help the ailing woman. He didn't know her well, but it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. His help had been requested, and so he would offer it, even if it didn't work. Nothing had worked, no matter what he or Chan had tried, and it was becoming clear that this might just be the course of nature - the final days of an aging body.

He could hear it in her call. It wasn't a cry for him, but he felt the need to be there regardless - to offer support and comfort to the packmates most affected by her passing.

He got there after her children, after Isla, and kept his distance. It wasn't about him - wasn't the time to interject or force herbs upon her. He took up a spot somewhere behind Isla, a handful of yards away, offering his proximity to the group if nothing else. There were no words that could alleviate the pain of losing a loved one.

(This post was last modified: Sep 17, 2024, 03:09 PM by Riven.)

Like it had been with Colette, everything that was supposed to help simply did not. Chan knew what was coming, even though he did his damnedest not to really think about it. The next loss, to top death after death after death...

His heart clenched when her call sounded. By now, the plant matter used to at least ease her pain was kept with her, available to the woman at all times. Hospice, one could call it. There was nothing to bring but himself, no more ways to try and make things better, to change fate. He hesitated as she came into view, flanked on either side by her children and struggling to keep consciousness.

All at once his sinuses burned and he had to look away, muzzle tucked against his shoulder while his ears twisted toward the trio. He wanted to be present for this moment, but it was already breaking his heart.

This thread will be archived on October 4th. No post order

It was getting harder for the mother to keep her eyes open, yet they flew open when she heard Atara’s voice. Lifting her muzzle to weakly lick at her daughter’s chin and leaning into her embrace with a happy sigh. Then Ryder was there and she turned her head to look at him lovingly, albeit her vision had grown hazy. They were here, her children were here with her.

Vaguely she was aware that there were others there as well but it wasn’t enough to draw her attention away from those that were most important to her. Shifting to press against Ryder, and could feel the final saps of her energy draining away, but not before she could give them one final lecture from mom, ”I love you. Be good, and take care of each other.” They wouldn’t be alone and that was the only reason she wouldn’t worry.

Green eyes closed for the last time and a few minutes later she was gone, her body at eternal rest. Peaceful. Still.

Somewhere nearby a flycatcher took flight from a branch, reaching towards the sunny sky above.

Indigo followed her father closely as they followed the call. She kept her nose to his tail tip until he stopped among the other wolves. There was a tense silence among the pack that gathered around Indi's grandmother. Ryder approached Finley but she stayed back, watching with wide, worried eyes. She could tell something was wrong, but what exactly, she didn't know. Her chest tightened as the elderly wolf nuzzled her son.

Something about this felt final, and Indigo didn't like it. Finley's words sent a shiver through the girl. When the woman's eyes closed, she stood up and took a step forward, pausing to look around at the others before she found her confidence. She slowly crept toward her father and sat just behind him, looking down at Finley's unmoving body. Indigo could only stare, millions of questions racing through her mind. She pressed her head to his side and closed her eyes.

She was there with them for just a few moments more, one last glimpse at what it had been like to have a mother like Finley. Then she was gone and it felt like every bone inside of Atara's chest were breaking at once.

"No, please," she breathed, her voice impossibly small and garbled with tears that attacked her eyes and throat.

"Please, Mom, no," the words and emotions both would build, until she was wailing them out over and over, nudging desperately at the body her parent had left behind. All of her composure and decorum and maturity fell away as grief took her over. All she wanted was her mom back. She would give anything for it.

(This post was last modified: Oct 06, 2024, 06:40 PM by Ryder.)

Ryder buried his face into her shoulder as she spoke to them, doing his best to savor the moment. To commit this final instance to memory. Her breathing faded away gradually, until the lull of stillness stretched on. And on. And Atara shifted and then her voice broke through it. She started jostling about, which moved what was left of their mother, and Ryder shot to his feet all at once, skin nearly crawling with a deep aversion.

He pedaled back and wheeled around, every inch of his body demanding he take off at a run. Right there, though, was his own daughter. Ryder blinked down at her, shocked a moment. He hadn't even thought about...

"Indi," her name came out just a whisper, and he had to clear his throat for his voice to work, though it still wasn't quite right. Scratchy, almost panicked.

"Come. We need to go."

Ryder would use his muzzle to attempt to her guide her. He needed to leave, but he couldn't just abandon Indigo to the sight. Where was Hazel... ? She would handle their daughter better and then he could be alone to deal with what had just been lost.