Kingsfall how can one man stop his ending

for @Isla only to talk ranks.

Five days they had been gone now. Chan had never before gone so long without seeing his son's face. Mica wandered but he always came back, always with that same precious smile. And Flair...

They hadn't just vanished. They had to be out there, out here, depending on their family to find them and help them return home. What if it was the wolf that attacked Towser? What if it was his partner's own self-declared arch nemesis, reappeared to take even more? What if they were hurt and scared and time was running out?

He couldn't really sleep, except the blackouts his body forced him into that didn't ever last long enough to truly rest his muscles and bones. He hadn't been able to bring himself to eat yet, and water tasted acidic like stomach bile. If it weren't for his remaining children, Chan would have quite literally driven himself into the ground sooner. Their fussing had only bought him a little more time, though.

His legs began to give out despite his immense efforts to keep them going, and step by step he crumpled downward until he'd stopped moving altogether, a pathetic and stilled pile of misery. His vision saw dirt with bright, blurred spots of dead and dying leaves and that deep musty scent that accompanied them was all he breathed in.

He needed to stand. He had to keep moving. He had to find them.

(This post was last modified: Oct 06, 2024, 02:51 PM by Marigold.)

Things were spiraling quickly, and Marigold was rapidly losing the remainder of her confidence in the whirlpool. No matter how hard she tried, she made such little difference. All of her best efforts couldn't get her father to stop and take care of himself. There had never been a time when someone was lost and she'd been able to find a trail. She was going to lose three wolves. She was going to lose her only remaining brother and his mom and their dad and it would just be her and Addy until she lost them too and then she'd just be alone with the consequences of everything she let go wrong-

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chan begin to drop, and that building sense of panic threatened to break the dam and sweep her away altogether.

"Dad?!" she lurched toward him, crouching down beside him. There was nothing erratic about his breathing or eyes, maybe, maybe he just needed this rest? The food he could keep pushing off, but with how little he drank and slept... Still, she couldn't help a low whine escaping her chest, something down in her gut certain - she really was losing him too, piece by piece...

Then she remembered Addy. Mar's head snapped up, and her gold eyes found her younger sibling. Their green eyes lacked their usual placidity, pools that seemed untouchable finally rippling with an emotion their big sis took to be fear.

"It's okay, Addy," she found herself assuring them without really thinking the words through, strengthening her legs to bring herself back to standing.

"He just needs to sleep. We're okay."

(This post was last modified: Oct 09, 2024, 12:33 AM by Chan.)

Mother had been missing before. Mica, though... ? This was new, and starkly different, and it was making them feel things they hadn't experienced before. The kind of things that made them sink inside, that clawed at their thoughts every moment both waking and non, that wouldn't let them leave their father's side.

He and Marigold worked so hard and still they couldn't bring themself to put in the same amount of effort, not even close. They breathed in the air and they kept watch of their surroundings but it still felt ineffectual. They were still just on observer, not really there. What they did notice, though, was the subtle changes overtime in their father's gait, how it weakened until his body began to sag. Languidly, their eyes would move from him to Mar and her outburst.

They just stood there. They didn't even walk nearer, they didn't try to address or otherwise help their parent, they didn't even attempt to pass a meaningful look to their sister as she locked with their gaze. They just... watched it all happen... like they always did.

Something deep down inside of Addy began to tremble.

Had she cursed him?

The thought had lingered around long enough in her mind as the days ticked on. Two daughters, she had demanded. Now he lost partner and child in a quick sweep. She had instructed their hunters, guardians and scouts to keep an extra eye out for the missing pair. Gods how she hoped they remained as a pair out there. For Chan's sake if nothing else.

Yet he had run himself ragged and she could not be blind to it. Others noticed, how could they not? She had come to perhaps see if he could be convinced to rest. Even if she needed to bring down an iron fist upon their functional bodies to search with reprimanding so that he could relax. Only she arrived too late and managed to witness the pale figure of a Second rush in. A ruddy teenager witness to it all, too.

Was it guilt that gnawed at the edges of a cold heart?

"I will force hunters to become scouts for them if I must," She declared for all present to hear. Let them know that kindness could come from an iron fist, too. "But you must rest. I am saying it as your co-lead."

She could not help but wonder if his surely frazzled mind might even register her words. Anyone's words, for that matter. Her eyes looked between the other two here and she wondered if one of them might speak on their father's behalf.

Chan heard his daughter's voice and it caused that ever-present guilt to swell. How could he give his all to everything at once? How could he live with diverting any attention away from someone if it resulted in them getting really hurt, or worse? Tired eyes drifted shut, even while he continued to try working his legs. They would shift and twitch, but he couldn't bring himself to commit and push through with anything more. His body was winning.

Isla's voice took up the air soon after, and that heterochromatic gaze stirred once again. Force, must. Co-lead. They were both so different from one another. For one, she fit the mold of leader far better than he. Yet even when it grated against her intentions, Chan's feelings of being pulled in multiple directions intensified with the words. Isla still needed help, as they all did. What if there was a new emergency with any one of their other pack mates, or even Isla herself? He'd met and hurdled past the limits of his utility, he wouldn't be able to contribute anything.

A dry, scratching sound wavered in his chest, almost like a laugh. He was seriously awful at all of this, and the slight delirium from forgoing sleep was causing little cracks here and there that all these compounding emotions could squeeze right through. His back legs managed to gain some traction, and he even scraped forward along the ground a few inches before they gave out again. That gravelly noise he'd been making gave way to a groan of frustration, before he buried his face in the leaves and loam between his legs. The senior grumbled under his breath a moment, unintelligible griping most likely directed at himself as he attempted to pursue a more selfless way forward.

In the end, he threw back his head all at once and declared with loud finality, "I quit."

They didn't answer, which in itself wasn't exactly unusual. This was one of those moments where it stuck out, though. Marigold couldn't help but frown, and then a fourth body emerged from the wood. Her silver eyes snapped onto Isla and her own skull lowered just a touch, a slight bend pressing at her brow. The younger woman's voice always seemed to hold authority and surety, the kind that was natural, not like the mask Mar had affixed to her own visage. Even in times like this, she found that it caused her envy, which then of course caused her great guilt and ire with herself.

Chan flopped about in response to his co-leader, drawing Marigold's colorless gaze once again. The downward pull of her mouth regained its sincerity and sympathy then, though she was glad to still see a little life in him. It would be ridiculous for him to die from a few days of self-neglect, right? He was just tired, just needed sleep. She turned the assurance into a mantra within her head, the thought stuck on repeat without her even fully realizing it.

Then his head jerked up and he- quit? Surprise and confusion both made themselves clear on her face, wolfish brows twisting and muzzle wrinkling. What the hell did he mean he quit? It almost didn't matter, her aggressively stubborn moral compass thrown into a tizzy at the mere word.

"You are not quitting anything," she corrected sharply before she could even stop herself, as though their roles had shifted and she were the parent, talking down to an irresponsible pup.

(This post was last modified: Oct 19, 2024, 11:18 PM by Marigold.)

Isla's cold tones rang into Addy's ears, but they couldn't take their eyes off of their father and sister. The two women were right, Dad needed sleep and the pack was still here for them. It was supposed to be okay, but... it wasn't. The tension in the air existed for a reason this time and because of that, it reached them. Addy thought it was a good thing when their dad finally spoke up, surrendering. They didn't think of any further questions, finding the sentence to be complete and perfectly enough in itself.

Mar disagreed, clearly. Addy's green eyes lowered to the ground, one paw lifting just enough to brush back and forth at the dirt. In all honesty, they wanted to walk away. But... what if they did, and then Dad and Mar disappeared too?

A declaration, met by a challenge.

However it had not transpired exactly how she might have imagined it. The daughter did not seek to console or fill the place her father wanted to quit. Instead she seemed to wedge him back into the place. A shape being pushed into the wrong spot.

The protests had to be ignored and set aside for a moment. She stepped closer only to look with a newfound softness upon the senior man. She imagined it was not just tiredness that prompted this. It surely had to be the loss he currently had to shoulder.

"If that is your wish, if you will finally rest, then by all means." Direct still but not cold. Something within her understood. She wondered if she would have been strong enough to stay here when loved ones had been lost. Perhaps she admired that he had not fled after them.

"Your health should mean more than any position." Only now could she look away from Chan and instead turned her gaze upon the pale child of his. Would she insist again that he could not quit when his own wellbeing was so clearly on the line?

Marigold tittered with disapproval, and Chan's ears planed sideways, giving an edge of defiance to that thoroughly-disgruntled look of his. One could almost see the teenager in him again, glimpses shimmering here and there amongst graying fur and aged folds. It had taken seven long years, but he was finally reaching his limits.

Even Isla agreed, and that emboldened him further.

"Yeah, it's what's best, and Fin can just-," the fire went out just like that. Finley was dead. How did he forget that? His entire body sagged, head meeting the forest floor once again. Not only was that a gut-punch on its own, it brought to mind that day, filling his ears with the sound of Atara's cries. He'd known then it would be his kids next, and now it was already coming to fruition...

Chan was awash with grief once more, and the only further movement that came from him would be the covering of his face with his forelimbs.

Marigold still didn't get it, until the word position fell from Isla's lips. Her eyes widened again in surprise, though it wasn't that she couldn't understand why. Who was supposed to take his place? Everyone left in the higher ranks were there by accident, not because they'd actually ever been expected to take the helm in a time of crisis.

Even when everyone else was clearly right, the way in which her father responded morphed her visage once more, earning him a look of how dare you? until he tripped himself up. Finley? Marigold's ears dropped, and her pale brow folded with a sadness she was certain had also been triggered in her company. Every time she wanted to be mad at him, he ended up being just too pitiful for her to ever really follow through.

Mar was quiet for a moment, respectfully giving their fallen matriarch's name space, before her gaze settled onto Isla once more. It was mold by concern, and underneath the colorless waters of her irises a gilding of certainty burned.

"It isn't right, though, that it all falls on you. You should have a partner, that's how it's supposed to be, and for good reason."

Leaders were a pair in order to support and balance one another, otherwise they became, well... briefly, her eyes flicked toward her crumpled father.