Shroud of the Lost tomorrow is a hope, never a promise

Please allow @Nash to post first || TW: Death, Grief, Cardiac Arrest

The pain radiated in her chest, echoing through her bones as the sobs began to convulse over her body. There was nothing anyone could do to console her. She couldn’t understand, and bitterness crept over the healer’s heart as the final nail in her coffin. She couldn’t understand how the Backwater wolves had such an easy time had keeping their family together, or what she did wrong to cause them all to leave. Kateri. Aleister. Chan. Oksana. Eclypse. Monatalia. Archer. Ally. Moonshadow. Magg. Aven. Neva. The list continued to grow. All she had ever done was try to do the right things. She tried to help anyone who needed her aid, sometimes wore herself thin…

The pain constructed, a stabbing sensation in her chest and she knew something was wrong. She had felt pain and heartache more than once in her life but this was different. This was more… more physical than it had ever been. The sobs continued to wrack over her form but she wasn’t certain they were from the pain that tackled her or the hurt and grief she carried in her heart for every family member she had lost, be it to death or to flaws they deemed to irredeemable to stick around for.

She hadn’t caught the symptoms leading up to this. There had been fatigue, which she had simply believed was from running herself thin. There had been chest discomfort, which she had merely associated with grief. Shortness of breath, which she believed had been from her age… from the fact that she’d been in the mountains for so long… and then the restlessness of her sleep which she had thought from the bouts of depression that had grappled over her for so long now.

She supposed there was a part of them that was right… all of the mistakes she had made in her life slowly added up until they became overwhelming. As her vision began to blur, Aquene’s mind drifted back to better times, fragile memories she clung to even as the pain constricted her chest. She remembered laughter around warm fires, whispered secrets shared under the stars, the feeling of belonging that had once made her heart soar. She had trusted those moments, believed in them with everything she was. And yet, here she was, discarded, her own body rebelling against her, as if mirroring the betrayal she had endured. She tried to summon anger, something to shield her from the hurt, but there was only the suffocating emptiness of disappointment and loss. The bonds she had cherished were gone, leaving nothing but a hollow ache that seemed to echo through her entire being.

As the minutes dragged on, her mind became a whirlwind of fractured thoughts, questions that would forever go unanswered. Was it her flaws that pushed them away, or had their loyalty always been conditional, something given only when it was easy? A part of her knew she might never find out, and that realization carved a deeper wound than any abandonment could. She was left with the fragments of herself, pieces scattered and discarded by those she once called family. With each painful, shallow breath, her body betrayed her once more, slowly surrendering to the weight of a heart too weary to carry on.

She didn’t want to leave Nash, but by now she knew none of the herbs in her stores would save her… she knew that she didn’t have a choice now. She was going to die, and there was nothing they could do about it. She didn’t want to be the one to leave now, to leave him all alone. A pained cry finally escaped her maw, one last pleading call for him. He was already there, by her side. “I love you.” It was all she could manage through the pain that ached until it built into a symphony of silence, and the pain disappeared entirely.

She was nothing… That was the last thought that would burn into her mind before her body stilled, and the last of her life left her body.

Aquene Slayer

(This post was last modified: Nov 17, 2024, 03:47 AM by Viorel.)

He thought he knew, deep in his bones, that this was coming. With every step down the mountain, with every step away from his home, he was only running faster towards the inevitable, try as he might to escape it. And here they were, on foreign ground, the place they had hoped to make a home...

Well. Nash supposed in a way, they were. He and Aquene would stay here forever.

His chest had ached for several days now, his breath coming less and his energy nearly non-existent. He couldn't keep up with Jessamy, and he was loathe to leave Aquene's side. What was the point? She was the only one who had stayed with him through everything. She was the only one who had never vanished. The only one who had never abandoned him, not even for a moment, not even in their grief.

They were all gone. And if they weren't, they would be.

Nash grieved. He still grieved his mother. He grieved the relationship he'd once had with @Chan and the near hero-worship he'd had of the man. He'd known, then, it would be the last time he saw his brother and yet he'd been so hurtful. Hadn't even told him they were moving. Nash also grieved the his daughters, Sari gone ahead of them, Monatalia off on an adventure, Eclipse fleeing from their tragedy... Magg, his favorite daughter, though he felt guilty to admit it, gone without a word and taking his granddaughters with her.

It had been the last straw, the last heartbreak it turned out his body couldn't handle. Matos had returned, his only son a spot of joy, but it was too little, too late. There was no hope left for Nash or his beloved.

His beloved who now cried beside him. Who whined and struggled to ease out her finals words. He kissed her crown. "I love you too," he murmured as she stilled. Nash groomed her head for a moment, still tucked beside her, then looked up. He ripped his head back and howled mournfully. The world has lost that which he treasured most. Nash looked at the horizon and pretended he could see the mountain. Part of him ached to be there, where he should have been buried with his parents. But he was here, and he would be buried where he truly belonged - at his wife's side.

He kissed her crown one last time. "See you soon, my love," he murmured, then rested his head across her shoulders in a final embrace and followed her into oblivion.

He had been home a week and everything felt off. He returned to more of his family missing, his littermate and agemate along with now both of his nieces. His parents weren't the same. A dark cloud hung over them, darker than any he had ever seen. He hoped that it was the weather and couldn't wouldn't face the alternative. Because of his denial Matos stopped in his tracks at the sound of his father's voice. Little did he know this would be the last time it would hit his ears. Panic surged up in him releasing him from his frozen state.

In an instant he was flying through the trees. No, no, no. Tears were already filling his dual colored eyes when he made it to the clearing. He shook his head at the sight of his parents curled together. They looked peaceful, like they were sleeping...but that wasn't...

Matos stood frozen, a whine tearing through him as he couldn't look away. "Mama? Dad?" The words barely a whisper. No. They couldn't be gone... He still needed them. No, no, no.

The air was all wrong. It had been since her older sister and age-mates left. Sam knew nothing of their plot, knew nothing of the history that drove her family away; all she knew was they were gone and her parents were heartbroken.

Sam didn't know what heartbreak was. She had been too young when Sari died to feel much of anything except confusion. She'd learned sadness through observation. Everyone around her was sad all the time. She knew what sadness was and it was a familiar weight on her parents, but since Magg left they had seemed... Hollow.

Nothing at all like her father's voice as it carried through the air. It was sad, resigned, broken. She didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. She turned and ran for them. Sam had spent almost all her life glued to their sides and shed taken advantage of their recent lethargy to explore on her own and now dad was sad again and something was very very wrong-

Matos stood not far from them, frozen and wide-eyed and whispering their names. Sam thought they were sleeping. An annoyed, relieved huff left her as she trotted up to the cuddling pair. "Stop playing," she said. They didn't move. Her ears flopped back. "Dad," she said, "Mom."

Nothing.

They didn't smell right and they were so, so still. Not even a flick of the ear.

Sam looked back at Matos, now beginning to tremble herself. "They need to wake up," she said, eyes filling with tears. "Make them wake up."

Sam didn't know what heartbreak was, but she was beginning to understand.

i want to turn you loose

watch you bloom

Everything was falling apart. It had been for a long time, Nori supposed, though she'd been trying to keep it together - the same as everyone else. It felt like there were dark clouds hanging over their heads since Magg disappeared with the girls, like something was on the verge of happening, but she couldn't tell what. Just that there was something that was about to happen - a shift, of sorts.

Nash's voice echoed in the air, and Nori's stomach dropped. It didn't sound right. Didn't sound strong enough. Sounded broken.

She'd paused mid-step at the sound of it, before gathering herself and rushing to the source. Jessamy and Matos were already there, the former closer to the dark figures of her parents. At first glance, they appeared to be sleeping, curled together in a sweet embrace, but they were too still, too quiet, for that to be the case.

Abruptly, she remembered Archer, and she felt sick.

Be the adult, she instructed herself, and forced her feet to move. Forced her body closer to her uncle and his mate, hoping to find them breathing, but she knew better.

Placing her muzzle beside theirs, one at a time, gave her the confirmation she needed.

Her eyes burned.

Her head ached.

Brown eyes turned toward her cousins, unable to fathom their loss. She hadn't seen Staryn or Akio in years now - hadn't even really grown up with them - so she could never understand what this was like. Nash and Aquene had raised them - had been there with them each and every step of the way, and now...

She didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to make it any better.

All she knew was that she didn't want them to be alone.

There was nothing she could say to help, and so she didn't. Instead, she stepped back, but remained close, her eyes stinging as she watched the two younger wolves. She'd be there, for whatever they needed, if there was anything she could do at all.

Leaving the mountain was meant to be a fresh start for them, a clean slate and a hopeful future. Perhaps it had been too much to wish for. Much like everyone else, Leo had been struggling with his own demons, the growing dread in his stomach the further they moved from the pass, threatening to suffocate him, along with the paradoxical weight of all the death they’d left behind up there, slowly lifting, but leaving him listless.   Still, he’d had hope, little flickers of light still shining through the bleakness – but it seemed even those weren’t going to last. The sound of Nash’s voice instantly drew Leo’s ears flat back, whole body stiffening, his heart jumping into his throat. He didn’t want to turn, didn’t want to answer this last call, fearing what he knew he would find.   Both parents had been clearly affected by this latest loss, piling on top of the grief they were already carrying. At some point it all got to be too much, too many falls to get back up – and both Aquene and Nash had become shadows of their former selves.   As if in a daze, the last Vuesain limped towards his stepfather’s call, every slow step agonizing, weighed down by the dread of what he would find. Eventually he made it though, the last of their family still remaining, catching the last of Jessamy’s pained cries; They? Leo’s head lifted from where it had been slumped low, eyes widening as they feel upon the two dark bodies, curled together in eternal sleep; No, not… Not both of them!   He rushed forwards, passing Matos, watching from a distance and Nori just drawing back. Lowering his muzzle, he touched each cold nose in turn, feeling his heart twist and shrivel at the realization; they were both gone. Once again, Leo Vuesain was an orphan, left behind now by two fathers and three mothers – though at least this time there was no speculations of what had happened to them. “Thank you, I’ll miss you,” he whispered, for their ears alone, grateful for the second family they had given him, when his own fell apart.   Then he pulled back, looking between his cousins and Nori, torn between the urge to comfort them or seek comfort for himself; What have we got left now…? In the end, he would step close to Jessamy, reaching to run his muzzle over her head, if she would let him, speaking softly: “They’re not waking up Sam, I’m sorry.” Two colored eyes would seek to meet Matos’ then, trying to convey a thousand silent thoughts, though most of all; I’m here. They’d need each other to get through this. Thoughts ”Speech”

Coccineus, annamae22, stock-ashleyrwatts & Dawnthieves.de

(This post was last modified: Nov 17, 2024, 02:18 AM by Leo.)

Time seemed to stand still in the moments that passed before Jessamy arrived. Amber and green watched in silent horror as his entire world came crashing down. The silence echoed in his ears. The forest around him seeming to fall into a moment of silence for the fallen couple. The young Eastfall- Slayer man was only shaken from his statue like stance when a blur of dark brown filled his vision.

Sam let out an annoyed huff that would have pulled a chuckle from Matty in any other situation. It only pulled at his grief more knowing the pup didn’t understand what just happened. His ears fell back as he lowered his head ”Sam…” as she told their parents to stop playing. The pain in her young voice as the weight of the situation settled upon her forced another low whine from his lips. He peeled himself from where he stood as she begged him to make them wake up.

The agouti figure of their cousin arrived as he moved towards his youngest sister…his last sibling. The elder brother pulled her to him shielding her from Nori’s confirmation. Misty dual colors met brown with shared pain. He knew while Nash and Aquene were not her parents they had been there for her all the same. This would change them forever.

The very next moment the tawny figure of Leo appeared. His pseudo big brother checking their parents in the same manner that Nori did. Matos stepped back as the Vuesain man turned to Sam, saying the words he couldn’t bring himself to say. Amber and emerald met blue and gold. Every unspoken thought conveyed between the brothers. They would need each other to get through this, all of them.

Her brothers and cousin gathered around them. Leo murmured a thank you to their parents, then turned to her the same time she heard Matos murmur her name. She glanced between them, wide eyes welling with tears and struggling understand. She looked again at her parents, wanting to nudge them and yet for some reason unwilling to do so. Sam shook her head. "But they gotta wake up," she said. It was definitely not a whine. She was not whining.

Only, she was.

Her chest hurt. Sam breathed hard and fast, sucking in so much air and yet somehow not enough. She stumbled back a step, halted, tried to move back toward her parents- but even she could tell they were gone. The smelled different, they were so unnaturally still. Not sleeping. Not waking up.

Sam sniffed, dropped hard to her haunches, and then then the rest of the way to the ground, tucked her nose between her paws, and began to cry.

i want to turn you loose

watch you bloom