The Wildwood the audience knows the truth

♫ | Natasha Bedingfield – Who Knows

He wished he had been elsewhere, away from here, out in the storm; but, running away, he knew, wouldn’t have solved anything. It seemed to have turned out to be a wild goose chase with Borden blindly ambling about as Jayse seemed to follow him. Then, once given the opportunity, he tripped somewhere along the way, ultimately bringing her down in turn. Now here they were, two trapped wolves stuck in a relentless blizzard. There probably could have been no other or better time to address this...

An apologetic expression tugged hard at his facial features, bringing his brows together and pulling the corners of his mouth down. His ears even managed to flatten even more against his skull. Her words had bitten him right back. No turning back now. ”You haven’t done anything wrong,” he assured her, his stomach lightly churning as he worried she might take his words some other way. ”A-and you can’t… you can’t upset me, Jayse; it’s just—” Ugh… How should he go about this? He watched as she closed her eyes; he must have looked pathetic, the perfect embodiment of imbroglio. Tongue-tied and discomfited. ”I-I…”

Not wanting to make things worse between them was Borden’s first priority. The deal was… he wasn’t sure if what he intended to say would help, to neutralize or improve the situation, or make the matter even more terrible than they had already turned out to be. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Surrender, his psyche advised. Put all the cards on the table… Be done with it… this confusion, this pain...

Deciding to follow what his conscience told him to do, he clenched his teeth together. This was it, here it was, the root of what was making him act the way he did around her… How he could be happy one moment then unsure and afraid the next. She could take it however she pleased… ”Ja-ayse,” he stammered. ”I… like you.”

Well, what do you want from me?

♫ Kelly Clarkson- Don't Let Me Stop You No expectation was made to make those words she said, make anything better. It didn't mean she couldn't help fill the pinch in her heart for thowing them his way. When he looked so appoligetic, like it was his fault this was the way things were. But she still did not understand how she caused him pain? Her, haven't done anything wrong? She couldn't see how she could believe that. Something wasn't right, and he'd probably be fine, just fine if he'd never met her. What would they ever do, if they couldn't speak of what happened behind still faces. She sighed a heavy breath. Eyes moist, but no sobs. Like that, the last drops fell against her cheeks. Waiting, waiting for him to poof from here, and her life entirely. It would have been the easy thing.....to a degree. Cran drifted upward, eyelashes clearing her eyes. A look of bewilderment, and concern putting heavy lines upon her face. She couldn't upset him? Then what was she doing now? She desprately wished he could just tell her what plauged him. Eyes whispered volumes, please please just tell me. She would have said, but her throat was dry like the words,heart were stuck there. He liked her? Brows weighed heavy over gold and blue pools of confusion. What was the big deal if he liked her? She liked him. Wasn't that mutually how friends felt. Maw drifted closer to his, looking into eyes of gold swirled with verdant hues. She wanted to reassure him, that was not a bad thing. They could always be friends."Bord.." Wait, he couldn't be this torn for merely "liking" her. A mix of feeling and,pictures tore through her head. Oh..dear what had she done? The feeling that had derived her was clear now. She to "liked" him. How had they gotten there? How had she let this happen? She had not wanted it..or did she? Love scared her, a fickle thing she had managed to stay clear of. Somewhere deep inside her, she felt like love didn't last, didn't exist. She had no proof. Here she was making a mess of it, she hadn't realized she'd fallen into it. But it was the only explantion why she felt his sorrow pulled her heartstrings, why she wanted to put a smile on his face. Why she cared about what he said, instead of dismissing it without a care, and moving on. But.. there was always a but. Jayse I like you but... He had not said it, and it was somewhere in the air waiting to pounce. They could not like each other because why? Once she thought about it, she couldn't unlove him in a heartbeat. She was thinking of it in a different light, a good one. She could see her reason for worry, she didn't want to get hurt, and she didn't want to hurt him. Is that what he was worried about? Was it a belief he couldn't have mate because he was not leader? Someone else? She felt like an interigator. Having to poke every answer from him. Maw brushed the tip of his. "I like you to Borden. But..what makes that wrong?" That was the magic question wasn't it? Silver mask wore her worry, waiting for the hurting blow. lost your balance on a tight rope. lost your mind trying to get it back.

♫ | Kris Allen – Before We Come Undone

Recoiling behind his mask, his ears rose just slightly at the sound of his long-forgotten nickname. She had simply sounded it out, ”Bord…” He opened his mouth to speak but no words came. His mind was spinning and his heart had begun to skip a few beats. What, Jayse? his eyes seemed to plead right back as she returned an uncertain. He held his breath.

Oh, be still, my beating heart… He had expected her to deny him, defy his nearly childish words, or, even more likely, to not say anything at all. Instead, she swept her lips to across his muzzle. ”I like you too Borden. But… what makes that wrong?” Her question, those four specific words made him look away and close his eyes.

Presto chango. Hocus pocus. Abracadabra…

Everything he had dreaded and fought hard to ward off now presented itself before him: all the reasons he couldn’t and shouldn’t love another, the tightness in his chest, the wolf that was almost unlike the Borden most knew. What makes this wrong? He didn’t want to even start, but what use was it to continue keeping things tucked away, bottled up, covered in darkness? ”I’m a Beta, Jayse,” he practically muttered. ”Alphas usually have no tolerance in their Seconds having… relations.” His voice had lowered, and the statement that tumbled from his jaw carried a tone that could have rightly defined a life he had once escaped or, even, described his life as it was now. Thoughts of his uncle, the ill-fated Lyall who became trapped under his younger brother’s reign, flickered across his memory. For a brief second he saw himself, weary and drained of his youth, still looking over Relic Lore from his perch on Mount Dire – it tugged at his hopes and his future prospects, bringing him down even more. It was foolish now, he realized, to have brought this up in the first place, even if it couldn’t be helped. What use was there in having feelings when you couldn’t act upon them in the first place?

Well, what do you want from me?

ooc;good song choice. :) helps me get muse and sort out borden. ;) ♫ | Paramore – The only exception A snowman could have stuck it's head inside, and she would have never noticed. Eyes caught in his stare. She had been holding her breath who knew how long as he looked away. Here it comes, she thought, What I don't want to know, but do. Waiting for the but I didn't mean it like that. Or I've already got somebody. Or anything but what he said. "Oh.." She stated, wondering what he was getting out now, or just trying to explain one piece of the puzzle he was hiding. In her home pack her father had only one Beta, but he had been mates with a scout. Her father actually encouraged it, never a really competitive fellow. She wasn't a Beta too, she kept her regular position. There was something more in his words, a hint of what how he had been raised like he assumed that's how it was. An upside down smile she wasn't sure what to say. Would it be better to abonden all hope, cut their losses. Was that what he was telling her, not to hope something could be. Lungs took in the fading scents of the small den, as if that'd help her clear of the chaos with his intoxicating aroma. Sighing, she scooted her body close to his, entangling cream with gray. Neck arched around his, and she nuzzled at his snout. She knew what she wanted, she'd never wanted something like it before and wasn't going to let it go so easy. Wishing he would look at her for she wouldn't be able to handle it if he shut down on. "Is that what you've been taught?" She asked, tone trying to sooth. Curious all the same to know, know was he felt. Barely touching him, she ran her nose along his jaw bone, then rested it on the dirt floor. "I know that is a possibility, but until Alexander says so isn't it not a fact?" Tone was hopeful, filled with warmth. Optimistic, of all times now she could be because she wanted to have something to believe in, and dream for. Cheer him up one more time, be something steady for him he could count on. There was much going on in heart, and mind it was amazing how she could even function, her body could handle the toll of all this. Tonight she wanted this to be decided, either there was a chance or there wasn't one they'd take. They could move on, get past it one way or another for the sake of their health and sanity. He knew that too, she told herself. Even if she was scared....feared for what the choice would ultimately be. She couldn't tell if her heart was ready to break, or soar. It was in limbo, beating, beating, afraid to beat, but wanting to. Lightly she whispered,"Bord, what are you thinking?" lost your balance on a tight rope. lost your mind trying to get it back.

(This post was last modified: Feb 13, 2011, 04:49 AM by Jaysyek.)

♫ | Erin McCarley – Gotta Figure It Out. Right back at ya. :) P.S. OMG, that Paramore song... pulled heartstrings. x) Thanks for sharing that.

Of course she had expected him to say something else… It was no wonder why she simply gazed at him, the corners of her lips turned downward, at a loss for words. He felt her shift closer, nestle herself against him. She was probably cold… Maybe trying to make him look at her… He opened his eyes and, out of the corner of his eye, looked at her.

Doubt flowed through his line of thoughts as she thoughtfully inquired about his insight. ”Is that what you have been taught? I know that is a possibility, but until Alexander says so isn’t it not a fact?” Her temple cuddled against his neck before she lightly grazed her cold nose against his jowls. He had anticipated her buss on the corner of his mouth, but she hardly drew close enough before she placed her head on the den floor. He simply nodded, silently answering her first question; he did not want to revisit anymore thoughts of his Uncle Cutter tonight, to think that he would live the same life he had cut out for himself in Bertram Valley. Underneath his whiskered lips, his molars pressed tight against each other, top to bottom. Tightly. Even if Alexander did give them his blessing, allowed them this delicate connection, this practically sacred privilege of being allowed to court, he wasn’t sure he was willing to accept it.

Deep down, he knew it wouldn’t work; him, her, them… It couldn’t possibly be acceptable. Hierarchy usually didn’t work like that. The idea of their leader, their superior, smiling at the thought of the two of them was much too hard to grasp… much, much too hard. Borden swallowed a scoff. Her whisper called him back from his thoughts, ”Bord, what are you thinking?”

Sighing, he looked to the ashen woman still at his side. ”It won’t work,” he speculated. ”Alexander may be kind and just but I don’t think he’d even consider it… us… even.” He shivered from the cold as it bit at the insides of his ears and side of his nose. ”He has her now,” he reminded quietly. And just her presence alone changed everything about being one among Midnight Plateau’s ranks. His mind conjured up several images of what would and could possibly come their way in the light of the night’s recent confessions: Alexander would keep them separated from one another, she would be caring for the alpha’s pups and he would be sent away to maintain the borders; the distance that was already between them would threaten to tear them apart if anyone else knew; he, she, or possibly even the both of them would be up against being exiled and banished from the Mountain... The beta’s eyes returned to the entrance of the den, not wanting to escape but, rather, figure out what to do as his mind and heart went to war.

(This post was last modified: Feb 13, 2011, 03:13 PM by Borden.)

Well, what do you want from me?

ooc; it probably would be her theme song, sadly. ♫|Staind Right Here Waiting Hurt burned at the edges of her heart. Tears, brimming at the edge of her eyes. Was that it then? There was nothing to hope for? No reason to try. It was very disheartning to her, but she'd been anticipating it hadn't she? She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to keep sadness from controlling her, pouring out of her eyes. She wanted to dissapear now, blend in with the earth in a shallow grave. She didn't know what was more hurtful his lack of believing, or the possible facts. In her head what could it matter? Spring would be coming, if they couldn't even be mates she would see no reason to stick around any way. See his face day, after day. What kind of life sentence would that be? It was worse then committing herself to stay with Selena constantly a fight. No, she couldn't usher those things aside, and continue life as if they weren't real. She would want to, but couldn't pretend. Borden, he wouldn't leave, and she would never ask him to. Whatever sliver of faith she had was fading, fading fast. She knew she needed to speak, she wanted to say the perfect thing to change his mind, make a spark of belief ingnite. What were the right words, what was the point? The female rose thinking this could be the last time they were together, close like this. That alone could have shattered her, but she kept strong the little speck wanting to pretend it'd all work out. The fairy tale in the end, not the tragic ending of misery. Sitting on her haunches, near his head she finally bussed his lips in soft caress. "I love you," Maybe those words were suppose to be hard to say, but they slipped from her tongue, as a few drops smudged her cheeks. She would never take them back, no matter what happened next. He had to know, and if didn't change things it sounded like the story of her life. "If that's not enough for you to want more, and sacrifice I understand. I wouldn't want you to risk anything. But I'm not going to stay here, and pretend it's not true. I can't do that...I don't want to." Last words were choked, very hushed. She would not live in misery behind a glass with eyes upon her. She'd much rather be alone to rest in pieces. There she waited in limbo, closing her eyes against the two emotions of hurt, and loss. Waiting to stay or go. lost your balance on a tight rope. lost your mind trying to get it back.

♫ | Enigma – Gravity of Love

Bringing his gaze back to Jayse, he absorbed her dispirited expression. He ran his chin over her temple. ”I’m sorry,” the gesture attempted to console her. He felt heartless, without a soul, empty after saying such a thing. It was the truth, but he didn’t mean to bear it down on her to crush her and any hope she had clutched to her heart.

Licking her forehead, he gingerly planted a kiss above one of her brows. He withdrew his muzzle from her, retreating back to his thoughts as he quietly watched her, observing as her torso rose and fell with every breath. He no longer breathed the faint scent of the den’s previous inhabitants but the appealing perfume that mingled in every fiber of her snow white coat.

In the early morning hours and until the moments after dawn, he knew they would remain here, tucked away from the rest of the world. He crossed his forepaws idly and she sat up, bringing him to raise his muzzle and look up at her. She wasn’t going to leave was she? Both of his ears swiveled forward and his eyes searched her face for any recognizable emotion. Then, without warning, her lips(?) brushed against his. She allowed a few tears to fall, ”I love you.”

Never in his life, not even once, did Borden think of hearing those three little words from another. The last person who had graced him with the endearing phrase had been his mother, though it had been two years since he had last seen and heard her. His eyes focused her silhouetted figure, realizing now that she had simply rearranged herself, perhaps wanting to make sure he heard her correctly. ”If that’s not enough for you to want more, and sacrifice I understand. I wouldn’t want you to risk anything,” she stated. ”But I’m not going to stay here, and pretend it’s not true. I can’t do that…I don’t want to..”

Keeping his eyes on her nose, her lips, the outline of her slender muzzle, he listened attentively. The very last of her words barely managed to reach his ears and he repeated them for the sake of his memory, to take each of their sounds to heart. ”I’m not going to stay here, and pretend it’s not true. I can’t do that… I don’t want to.” A tilt of his head allowed his nose to graze her forelimb. Those words, her declaration, were more than enough to coax the appropriate reply from his throat. ”I love you too, Jayse. Most ardently. I… I want nothing more than to be with you; yes, I worry about what they’ll think, but I can’t bear pretending that I don’t feel the same for you.” The words rose into the air much like a magician would have conjured a dove from simple handkerchief. The syllables flew off his tongue, effortlessly, almost naturally, like they had been meant for her to hear. His eyes flickered up to hers, almost straining to see her irises through the dark. ”What should we do?”

Well, what do you want from me?

♫ Taylor Swift- Sparks Fly Warmth of his touch was comfort to her, feeling it for the second time, and yet it burned as she didn't want it to be the last. The soft motion was followed with those words I'm sorry. She placed a weak smile on the edge of her lips. They were always appoligizing to each other, and the small thing made her feel a tiny bit better for whatever reason. The gentle strokes of his tongue were almost enough to lull her into sleep.....whisk her worries away.....almost. But she was caught in the delima of not knowing his reaction to her words Small heart hovered on a string, she did not stir waiting for the words that would make her break her. Nose brushed along her leg, and eyes fluttered open. Triangle points cocking ahead, as clearly she was holding her breath. Yes? Her moist eyes asked, bracing herself for the answer she didn't want to hear...or she believed would come. "I love you too, Jayse." She swallowed back the stunness, her beating heart fiercly pounding, bursting with the happiness she had forced still. He rendered her completely speechless at his proclamation. She rewound it again and again in her head feeling completely elated like she needed somone to pinch her to be sure of the realism. Unknowningly she'd held her breath for all that, lungs craved relief and she inhaled taking everything in about him. Sweet scent, soft eyes, dark patterns of his fur like she really had to look at him again to be certain, it was him. She laughed, a joyful laugh, then layed down, snuggling close to him. Her heart never felt so real, nor full of peace. Pink tongue caressed his cheek, she stopped as gold eyes met hers in the shadows. What should we do? Jayse had no idea, she'd never felt this way before she'd never thought she'd have to worry about it truthfully. She gently nosed at the underside of his chin, "I don't know Borden. What do you think we should do?" She asked, laying still trying to picture what they could do. She could see asking Alexander, but there was always the part where he could say no. Where would that leave them? lost your balance on a tight rope. lost your mind trying to get it back.

(This post was last modified: Feb 14, 2011, 06:43 PM by Jaysyek.)

O O C | Hmm… wrap-up soon? (:

Laying back down beside him, she swept her tongue across his cheek and nosed his jaw in response to his question. ”I don’t know Borden. What do you think we should do?” He laid his head down on top of his right paw, thinking quietly while she remained motionless beside him. The thought of asking the alpha for his blessing crossed his mind only once before he discarded the idea completely. No pack, especially one that lived on a mountain, would even think of allowing two litters to be raised at once.

Over the course of a few minutes, while the wind continued to howl and usher snowflakes into the tunnel of the den, he thought up a few ideas. Most of them were wild, perhaps even unattainable if one assumed, and he couldn’t help but think there might be no other way around it if they wanted to stay with one another. Free to express their hearts’ desires without prejudice or limitations. His eyelids drooped down over his pupils before they flickered open again. He gazed to Jayse and gave her a quiet smile.

Validating his reasons for the inklings that formed in his mind, he yawned. Any moment now, the sandman was planning to make his attack and Borden was not ready to give in to sleep. He curled his tail over his legs and sleepily leaned his body against one of the den walls, fully relaxing his body now. Then, it fully came to him. Eureka. Well, not quite; the idea had presented itself numerous times in the past hour, but only now did he truly consider it.

Eyeing her through the darkness, a rather enthusiastic smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ”Come away with me, Jayse…”

(This post was last modified: Feb 15, 2011, 02:23 AM by Borden.)

Well, what do you want from me?

ooc; yup. um bedtime I guess? do you want to post one more time? Falling into his thoughts, she stayed quiet knowing he would know the best thing for him, and her. She smiled, sleepily letting out a yawn. "Don't think to hard, okay?" She whispered, resting her head on her own limbs.She tried to think too, a little harder then usual. She felt like she was letting him to do much again. She didn't know for the longest time what to do. Every pack was different, and she didn't know Alex. Again the fear of no itself would keep the question under wraps. Especially since Borden didn't think it possible, or the feeling she got. Puppies, crossed her mind once. How Alex and his mate would want them. A pack wouldn't want two litters, that would be a lot of work, and second it scared her to have little paws wandering around. How could she possibly let them out of a den? Front paw twtiched slightly. Picturing her own seemed like a distant dream she wouldn't be able to obtain. She had never thought herself as mother, she was only trying to grasp the fact of love. With time, all things were possible she was learning. Own lids threatened to fall, but she stayed awake watching him in bliss. Half awake, half asleep she felt him move to the wall, and lifted her head trying to focus on his face. A positive smile lit his features, and her brows inclined, a sideways grin shifting her lips. Ears waited to hear the conclusion he'd come to. Come away with him? She didn't have to think, the answer was immidiately yes of coarse. But where were they going? Now? When? She softly hummed once, thougtfully a dreamy look in her gaze. "You know I will. But where will we go, when?" She asked, wondering what picture had popped into his head. Surely, they would have to figure out where they'd go, and she didn't feel right about deparitng right away. lost your balance on a tight rope. lost your mind trying to get it back.