Sacred Grove find a cure for my life

Taking place right after the pack meeting. (or...kind of during. xD) /stupidangstyborlla

Borlla ran. She ran and ran and ran until she found water. The mountain was at her back and she didn't want to turn around. She didn't want to look at Swift River and know that now everyone was standing there talking about her. But Borlla couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. If she didn't want them talking about her, than she shouldn't have run off. So maybe she did want them talking about her. In the depths of her soul, she knew that this was what she wanted.

Right now, she just wondered how long it would be until Indru caught up with her and just decided to snap her neck. He was tired of dealing with her now, the pale girl was sure, so he'd just kill her. Wouldn't that be better for everyone? For his stupid new girlfriend, wouldn't she be happy that Borlla was gone and wouldn't threaten her happy new life. And her brothers would certainly be glad that she wasn't around. Even the older ones. Especially Indru. With her back to the mountain, she sat, her paws on the water's edge, just waiting to hear the sound of her brother coming up behind her.<b style="color:#32527a">"speech."

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Anger coated the male like a second skin as he followed the trail of his disobedient sister at a ground-eating lope, determined to catch her quickly and end the wildest goose chase she had undoubtedly started for attention. Again she had disrupted things, misbehaved, caused havoc and upset others, this time his mate Corinna, yet her actions were also a challenge to his rank, something unacceptable when she was so near to entering the adult hierarchy. It didn't take long for Indru to get close enough to hear Borlla ahead of him as she crashed through the forest and he quickened his pace, his fur already bristling along his spine as his lips curled under the low growl that hummed from his throat. Borlla had always had a temperament closer to Ioni than his and Triell's but Indru had hoped that the distance from their sister and being around both he and her littermates would help curb it, he dreaded to think of her going the same way as Ioni had.

When he could hear her moving no longer Indru paused himself, satisfied that she was still nearby by her fresh scent that hung around the Grove, now leaving a bitter taste in his mouth unlike the usual comfort it brought. Borlla! He shouted, ice and fire coating the words equally as he shot them out and allowed them to burn as they hung expectantly in the air. Indru was the pack's Leader, he would not play games seeking her out, Borlla needed to learn discipline and face the consequences and the beckoning command behind them was clear. The Tainn kept his stance at full height, his head raised proudly and his tail arched over the fur that bristled down along his back, hoping that he could at least scare some sense into the girl, who needed to learn how packs worked. She would come if she knew what was best for her, as Indru would not let this slide idly by and he was determined to get to the root of her problems and help her on the way to becoming a wolf who the pack could be proud of.

(This post was last modified: May 01, 2011, 12:47 AM by Indru.)

Unfortunately, as the time ticked by, this all began to sink in. It was quite incommodious to her mind. She'd already come to terms with all of it, and now she was regretting it. Hadn't she been happy when Indru had returned? They watched the fox hunt, and tried not to freeze to death in the water. That was all she wanted. Attention from her brother. Hm. It didn't sound all that great now. Especially not with him angry. Borlla exhaled again, knowing that she couldn't actually back out now, or anything. She'd pissed him off and she'd take it. Because that's what she wanted, right?

Somewhere behind her, she heard him roaring out her name, and scowled, twisting herself to look over her shoulder. Great. Well, she'd walk with pride. A slightly high-pitched groan weaseled its way out of her throat, and she faced the mountain again, trying to keep her head up and her tail down. She was basically walking into her death, so she figured she might as well face it head on. Reluctantly, she sniffed the air, and moved towards the smell and the sound. The larger Tainn came into view, and she stopped, taking another breath before stretching her neck out, head low, <b style="color:#32527a">"What?" She couldn't keep that tone out of her voice, and like everything else, she regretted that too, but it was how she felt in that little corner of her soul. <b style="color:#32527a">"speech."

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She came, as he expected she would (Borlla certainly wasn't stupid nor suicidal), and he watched her slowly make her way forward — body dropped, but he suspected more in reluctant or fear than actual submission. Such thoughts were confirmed then with her insolent reply and Indru almost hissed in annoyance at his younger sister, his lips curling back instead as a low, deep growl rumbled from him like thunder. What? He required, taking a step forward and looming over the almost fully grown girl, determined to get some form of submission and respect from her. You just disrupted a meeting, upset the pack by ruining a happy occasion and near enough challenged my rank, Borlla, Indru explained, anger lacing his words as his growl continued to undercurrent them. Behaviour like this would only lead to her being forced out of any pack she was a part of, no hierarchy could be stable with a wolf constantly battling everyone within it. I want you to give me a good reason why you are behaving like this. Dipping his head down to hers Indru strengthened the growl in his throat, trying to force her down into submission mentally before he was pushed to do it physically — but he was prepared to if he needed too, she needed to learn.

Soon you will no longer be a pup Borlla, allowed to get away with anything you wish, she had the spirit, strength and intelligence to do well in a pack, to be high ranked within the adult wolves but it required giving respect to where it was deserved and not fighting everyone in sight. She needed to know her own boundaries, something which she seemed to think were limitless at the moment. A wolf needs a pack to thrive, Borlla, you need your family. Don't keep pushing us away or you'll end up like Ioni — alone, bitter and full of resentment. Though Indru's tone was softer, determined to try and get through to her, it was far from the usual tone he usually addressed her with. He missed his younger, carefree sister and was worried that she was turning into another Ioni. You're going to be in the adult ranks soon Borlla, I can't protect you then, a pack needs to be stable.

The girl recoiled at his hiss, the scowl morphing into a mere frown, dwindling on the edge of something far more emotional. He came towards her, and it took every thing inside of her not to step back, to just run away altogether, something that she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to bring herself to do. Even through all of this she couldn't just leave. It would have been so easy. She wondered how long they'd bother to chase her...She crouched lower, almost consumed by his towering form, and her head tilted sideways. It was a painful stance, she hated it. Borlla couldn't meet his eyes as he lowered himself, and merely exhaled. She didn't want to talk to him at all, not like this. Her jowls twitched, and her orange eyes began to glaze over. She didn't move, she didn't speak.

At the mention of Ioni, Borlla growled. This was all her fault! So, no...Borlla didn't want to be like that. Never. She shook her head lightly, as if responding to her own thoughts. She didn't want a protector, she just wanted her brother, and this was what she'd done to him. What she'd done to herself. <b style="color:#32527a">"I don't want to be protected," The girl mumbled, ears twisting back. <b style="color:#32527a">"I just want my brother back..." Her voice cracked, though her expression seemed to twist to something angry, as if to cover up something else. Borlla could only shake her head again at the awkward angle she held it. <b style="color:#32527a">"speech."

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Eventually she reacted the way he wanted, the way she needed to learn to do, showing respect to him and his rank and not challenging it unnecessarily when she had no hope of winning it. He needed to be strict, as much as he hated to do it, she needed to be reigned in and taught how to behave before it got even more out of control. He loved his sister, who was slowly becoming more like a daughter now that he had raised her and guided for her so long, but he could not make excuses and keep her safe in the pack ranks forever. It would make him look weak and thus weaken the pack. Though she was showing submission he did not let up, he needed to make an impact and so he continued to loom threateningly, the growl still rumbling through his chest in a hidden promise — she was only just barely a pup now, after all, and not too young to be treated like an adult now.

Borlla's silence was unnerving in a way, Indru was so used to her being vocal, often to his annoyance and her detriment, but he decided to take the silence as a good thing. Perhaps this lesson was having some form of affect and she was thinking about her actions and their consequences. At her words he frowned lightly, she may not want it, but she needed protection as was she really so naive to think that she could live her life without it? Indru shook his head when she mentioned him, dropping himself further so that he could meet her eyes, you never lost me Borlla. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, he had always tried to be there for her, keeping her safe, giving her a home when their parents died. But you are pushing me — all of us — away.

She was upset; he could see from her face that he knew better than she would like to think. Indru could remember when she was only a few months old and used to push up tight against him for comfort when her nightmares woke her up in the den, when he first took her hunting, he could remember so many memories. Why are you so angry at me? It was something that had plagued him for a while, when he had seemingly succeeded in helping Triell, why had Borlla come to hate him? She had fled from him when he had led their family to safety during the drought and since his return she seemed more distant than usual. The thought of letting her down caused a lump to rise in his throat, if he failed here what was to stopping him doing the same with his own pups?

She felt so small with him hovering over her. She hated it. Her bones complained, begging her to rise up and fight. Her bones were stupid. Every other part of her told her to stay. It would be worse if she moved. The sound of his growl wasn't at all comforting, and she began to shudder lightly, trying to keep her emotions under wraps. It was hard. Very hard. But she was doing what he wanted. Borlla wasn't going to add tears to all of it. It was pathetic.

It was becoming hard to control herself. She shook her head again, seeing his frown, and moved her eyes away when he tried to meet hers. No, she wasn't going to look at him. No! She righted her head, but kept her eyes away. At least her neck didn't hurt anymore. <b style="color:#32527a">"I lost you to that stupid girl. I didn't push anyone away," Her voice was low and rumbling, as she tried to keep it under control again. <b style="color:#32527a">"You did it to yourself." Her tail curled near her legs, and she could only shake her head again. <b style="color:#32527a">"You were too busy being leader and being with that st--...Corinna." Her tongue was forced between her teeth as she spoke, doing her best to be kind, though it was difficult.

<b style="color:#32527a">"Our family fell apart, one-by-one...I hate it. Everyone fighting..." She knew it was just a part of how everything worked, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. Ioni, Ruiko, Indru...All the fighting. <b style="color:#32527a">"speech."

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As orange eyes met matching ones Indru saw Borlla dart them away and felt pleased, finally she was beginning to understand and whether it was meant to be or not it was a submissive gesture and Indru felt pleased that for once something was sinking in. Her next words shattered the small glimmer of pride that was returning for her and Indru snarled and snapped near her nose in a warning at the disrespectful term she used for her other pack leader. You're pushing everyone away you silly girl, he growled at her, frustrated that she couldn't see that she was making her pack sick of her angry outbursts and rude demeanour — even Triell, her littermate was tiring of it. He watched her tail curl beneath her and it was the only thing that stopped him from pushing some weight onto her and asserting himself further, for he was determined to solve this before she went anywhere. I cannot be only your brother forever Borlla. I had to step up, take responsibility for you all without our parents here. Anger coursed through him again and he tried to calm himself, the sharpness returning to his voice again as he forgot the quieter tones he had started to speak in earlier. You need to grow up and out of this selfish attitude — you are not the only one who lost your parents, yet you got to sulk and grieve and act up when me and Ruiko had to take responsibility and look after everyone! Indru snapped at her, lifting a paw to try and push her over and onto her back in his anger. Though he never regretted looking after his family, he loved them after all, there was a part of him, a younger part, that wanted to rage at the unfairness to the responsibility he had been suddenly dumped with, a whole family, pups, and the responsibility to keep them together. When had his time to grieve been?

Corinna makes me happy, I love her, and after this you begrudge me that? Do you want me miserable catering to your every whim Borlla? Then would you behave at last? Exasperated Indru shook his head and sighed, overwhelmed with the turmoil of emotions that were flowing around him. Yes, our family fell apart, he confirmed, his voice quieter again and his own throat catching for once, and don't you think I already feel responsible enough for that? For not saving their parents, for never finding Hotei and keeping their innocent brother safe, for his sisters disappearing never to be seen and for the pups never knowing Rihael and Lani. He felt the guilt of all of that on his shoulders every day.

(This post was last modified: May 01, 2011, 04:01 PM by Indru.)

What was she supposed to do? Stop being herself? Every inch of her now screamed to fight, but she didn't, she had to resist. Because she knew what would happen. But it seemed that her words spoke louder than her submissive actions had. She flinched again, jerking her muzzle away from him, and squeezing her eyes shut. She couldn't believe what he was saying. She tried to be nice, she did. But it was hard when you were unhappy...This time she couldn't even shake her head, unable to agree or disagree with what her brother was saying to her now. Her ears twisted back, trying to lessen the intensity of his voice pulsing into them, and she cowered again.

Borlla yelped, taken off-guard as she was shoved onto her side suddenly, and she snarled, trying to regain her footing, though she merely crouched low on her paws, belly against the earth. <b style="color:#32527a">"You chased Ruiko away!" She barked, trying to muster up the same spark that he seemed to have, but it mostly failed. Besides all of that, she didn't even want to think of her parents. She couldn't even remember them, how could she be sad that they'd gone? Perhaps there had been moments, but the thought of their shadowed faces hardly brought any emotion to the girl, at least right now. She scooted away from him, damp earth dirtying her belly as she crawled backwards. <b style="color:#32527a">"No. But I still hate her...and you." Her ears were flat against her head and she stared at him. It wasn't even about the girl anymore, even if Borlla claimed to hate her, she'd hardly said anything to her.

Finally, she shook her head again, <b style="color:#32527a">"It wasn't your fault. It was the fire." There wasn't any comfort in her voice as she spoke, and she didn't get near him again. <b style="color:#32527a">"You don't have to be responsible for everything." The scowl drifted onto her face again, though sadness began to creep in. <b style="color:#32527a">"I'll just be the first thing you don't have to be responsible for." With utter slowness, she took a few more steps back, prepared to run.

<b style="color:#32527a">"speech."

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His sister resisted Indru's attempt to turn her over into a further submissive pose, exposing her underbelly, and ignoring her snarls which we were no threat to him he tried once again, trying to use the combined strength of his shoulder and the advantage of his weight to knock her over. If she was not going to be willing to submit Indru would force her and would not put up with her begrudging, pathetic attempts anymore which were barely passable as a pup. If an adult had performed behaviour similar to her's Indru knew that Rihael would have them down on the floor cowering on their back and maybe this was what Borlla needed, tough love.

Her words about Ruiko hurt more than she may of realised and Indru almost visibly winced, it was untrue he knew — both brother's knew that it would happen at some time, neither would be satisfied if they were not leading their own pack, and it made sense for Indru to stay after taking on the patriarchal role that he had. Don't talk about things you don't understand, Borlla. Neither me or Ruiko could stay in the same pack, we are both Leaders — and a pack can only have one. Though anger still laced his words there was a hidden sense of defeat, Borlla seemed to want to blame him for anything and he was beginning to think he'd never get through to her. Apparently she was incapable to take blame as though Indru knew he wasn't innocent Borlla seemed to think she was.

Like his sister had struck a physical blow to him Indru halted his movements to the point where he seemed frozen, and though he was as still as a statue his face was animated into the most horrendous grimace of pain before he shook his head and hid it away. Hate me, then. But know that I will never hate you, Borlla. As much as she angered him or drove him crazy he would always be there for her and would always love her, even if she decided she didn't want anything to do with him, he'd make sure he was waiting. Though it didn't take long for his sister's quick roller coaster of emotions to confuse him again and she went from telling him she hated him to trying to reassure him. Indru had no reaction to them; however much others told him it wasn't his fault he could never not feel at least partly responsible, he fled when the fire hit when he should have remained to make sure everyone got out safe. Borlla's last words sunk in as he watched her retreat from him and he shook his head and growled quickly in frustration, no Borlla. Don't you understand? I want to be responsible for you, to keep you safe. It's what people do when they love each other. He sighed and took a step forward, eyes meeting hers in a clear sign — if she ran, he'd make sure he caught her. You just make it so hard.

(This post was last modified: May 02, 2011, 12:48 AM by Indru.)