Sacred Grove a favourite face

<blockquote>Was it home? Not anymore, not really, but there was an undeniable wave of affection and familiarity which would have been very easy to give in to had Kinis not braced himself for such. It had been home, but Swift River had been a distant spot on the map for too long. Life as a nomad sucked, to be blunt, but it was all going to come to an end before long. Ruiko said so. Kinis had not met any 'suitable' wolves yet, but everyday he was older and therefore a more useful ally. Being a nomad sucked, but it made you strong - or it killed you.

So why was he here? Ruiko had told him that he would spending some time with Swift River, and though Kinis had initially resisted the idea of returning for fear of lapsing back into old habits and nostalgia, not much time had passed before curiosity and something else had gotten the better of him. It wasn't that finding the river was hard - it was easier to remember the location of his old packlands than where he had last laid down to sleep - but it almost felt dirty to do so, and that was something he couldn't quite understand. Why, exactly, should he be so adverse to the idea of seeing his old home? Ruiko might have been his brother of choice, but that didn't mean that the rest of the family suffered any loss of love.

Indru might have vanished once, long ago, but when Kinis thought of him it was only with positivity. Now that he was older, that he understood a little more the burden of survival, he could more easily let any negative feelings go. There had never really been anything to hold against his older brother, and now he had only the faint longing that the absence of a loved one could cause.

He knew, having come across various scents, that the family was sorely depleted, and that most of his older siblings had gone and come and gone again. The Tainn family was truly not the steadfast pillar it had once been, and thus he had less reason than ever to maintain the distance.

Ah, home. Comfort filled his nose as his subconscious welcomed the scent of a friendly pack. How long had it been since he had had an easy meal? He eagerly waded through the river, the water once a source of fear and now a thing long conquered, and came to rest on the opposite bank.

Indru. His muzzle was in the air even as he shook himself dry, suddenly aware of all the time spent apart and how much he would have to catch up on! Would Kinis even be recognisable? He couldn't remember how old he was the last time he and Indru had spent any time together, but none of that mattered - all he knew was that it had been too long.</blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

Contentment was not a thing Indru had been used to for some time before he had managed to come home again; the boy had not realised how restless had he been until he was part of Swift River again, being surrounded by the sights and smells of Corinna and their pups had been a comfort he had greatly missed. His return had brought back the fiery glow his eyes had once lacked and his sheer joy at being with his family had only hastened his recovery. The pack had taken a beating in his absence but finally, with members returning and the Tainn's around them, it was strengthening once more.

Keeping the pups healthy and safe was the leaders top priority, they were strong — the fact that had survived after what had happened to the pack proved that — but Indru was determined to make sure they spent the rest of their lives as pup in comfort, feeling safe and protected. Marking the borders with his scent had been the first priority, a pack without a leading male (and thus a breeding pair) was always highlighting its weak link to ambitious loners and Indru had been making sure that this weakness was removed. The leader was still not of full health but he was getting there, the limp from his hind leg was barely noticeable at the moment and it tended only to show after prolonged use now, but that too would go over time. Indru had strength and youth on his side, and now a pack too.

A small gust of wind brought Indru scents from the east of him and he rose his nose towards it to let them tease his senses, pleased at the strength of the scents along the Swift River borders at the moment. A scent that he had not smelt so fresh for long time but one that he knew just as well as when he would smell it every day reached him and Indru felt a flood of emotion. He had not seen his young brother since he had remained with Ruiko when Indru had led the rest of their family to safety from the drought, and though Kinis had returned after leaving Relic Lore himself Indru had always felt hurt that he had never sought him out. It had not been uncommon for the River leader to stumble across a stale scent of Kinis's but he had never found quite such a fresh one before and though he presumed his brother still resented him Indru could not help but head towards it.

Kinis, he breathed in surprise when the young boy came into sight. Though Indru had known he would have grown, and even was still as close as ever with Triell, the sight of Kinis was so different from his last memory of him he could not help but be shocked. Are you... Is everything okay? The male kept his distance, unsure how Kinis would react to him. Ruiko had come to join Swift River but even then Kinis had kept away (another sting) and Indru had almost began to presume his brother was lost to him as much as it pained him to do so. Were you looking for Ruiko? He asked, hurt curling his voice at the end and spreading to his eyes, but he would find their brother if that was who he sought.

(This post was last modified: Sep 05, 2011, 07:19 PM by Indru.)

<blockquote>He had expected to howl, but it seemed that Indru was too quick off the mark. In the few minutes Kinis spent just enjoying being back in familiar surroundings, his older brother found him. It was only when a nearby footstep alerted him to his company did Kinis turn, with equal surprise, to watch Indru approach him. The sound had almost been lost in his nostalgia, something which he quickly chided himself for but was just as quickly overtaken by a rush of pleasure.

He had been half-afraid that the sight of his brother would make him feel angry or resentful, and was immensely relieved to discover that he felt neither of these irrational things. In fact, after the initial shock had worn off, his first feeling was of concern. The once proud leader did not look in good shape, and Kinis wondered frantically just how much he had missed. What had happened?

When his name was called, though, that was also washed away - doubtless to return later - by the foolish delight of recognition and greeting. He realised that he had half-expected Indru to see him as he had thought to see his brother. His tail gave a wide wag as he moved to close the distance, though his eager approach was slowed fractionally by the expressions which came over Indru's face and the fact that he himself did not move particularly close. Perhaps Kinis had been wrong in his last conclusion. Indru's question of concern seemed at odds with Kinis' own worry, and he thought, mortified, that he may have left this too late.

Indru's final question, and tone, only compounded this notion.

<b>"Not really,"</b> he started carefully, trying not to seem as standoffish as his gut wanted him to be. It was strange how he felt so juvenile all of a sudden; he supposed that being around Indru reminded him of being a child, whereas Ruiko helped him to feel more like an adult. It wasn't really anybody's fault. <i>I came to see you,</i> his head screamed, but for some inexplicable reason that felt like a weakness. If there was anything that Kinis had been trying to banish in himself for the past few months, it was weakness. Yet, somehow, being distant to Indru didn't feel like an accomplishment. <b>"But how is he?"</b> <i>How are you?</i> <b>"It's been a while since he left to come back here."</b> <i>It's been a long time since I came back.</i> <b>"Is he okay?"</b> <i>Are you okay? You look like crap, brother.</i></blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

Confusion flickered through Indru briefly at Kinis's reaction, he seemed pleased to see him at first but that seemed to change as their meeting progressed. He slowly watched his brother slow to halt and felt the awkwardness blossom between them, the feeling of it only causing Indru further sorrow. There was a little hope in his response, however, he had not come just entirely to see Ruiko, but then Indru remembered that Triell lived here too and it felt the hope wilt as quickly as it had flowered. Silence hung awkwardly between them once again and Indru felt only shame at himself for letting his family end up at such odds, though being head of the family had been abruptly thrust upon him at the time he couldn't help but feel he had failed miserably in most cases.

How desperately he wanted to be close with his younger brother again was not something Indru knew how to express, nor would he try and guilt his brother into doing so either. If Kinis was to remain angry and ashamed with him still he would bear it and let the youth feel it without trying to make him feel guilty doing so. Lost in thought he didn't realise how long the silence had gone on until Kinis broke it once more and Indru's ears and tail both drooped at the questions. He understood the concern and greater bond Kinis would have for his litter mate but it didn't make it sting any less when it seemed none would again extended to him. He's fine I think. Silence again and Indru tried to think of a more fufilling answer. The pack was weak, we've been hunting a lot to fill the caches back up, keep the pups — my pups... Your niece and nephews, fed. I was healing too... Indru trailed off, suddenly uncomfortable about discussing any weakness, it was not a natural instinct now for him to feel comfortable around Kinis like he did his other kin still in Relic Lore. It's not that he felt his brother would directly hurt him (besides, he was not so weak now to worry about that) but it was a natural instinct to be wary of those who held poor feeling with you, as Indru suspected Kinis did.

A sigh broke his muzzle and Indru turned to peer over his shoulder, reminding himself again that he would not push his brother. He had learnt with Borlla that he could not always fix things with his family, however much he was desperate to do so. I could howl for him? Or who you wanted to see. Briefly he wondered whether he should offer Kinis pass to cross the borders but a flicker of protective worry crossed his mind, he was not certain that Kinis ill feeling for him would cross to his pups, but as quick as he thought it Indru felt ashamed, Kinis would not directly hurt their kin however much he felt about Indru. But still, he waited to see what his brother would do.

(This post was last modified: Sep 05, 2011, 09:20 PM by Indru.)

<blockquote>This situation was fast going through the motions of becoming a vicious circle, and even now Kinis felt helpless to stop it. The more coolly Indru treated him, the more casually he felt compelled to act back, though it did his heart no good. Indru's answer began plainly enough, with nothing to worry about, but then came the mention of a litter. That was enough to make a crack in the barrier; in a display of instinctual pride and happiness, a smile broke his reserved expression. He was an uncle. Indru had pups! He would have expressed congratulations, but Indru continued, talking about his need to mend and then, regrettably, came more talk of Ruiko. Kinis would not have believed it possible for himself to reject that topic, but here he was.

Still, though the news of the Tainn's growth had helped, it was clear that Indru didn't think that Kinis cared, or else he would not have continued to act so distantly. Now it was Kinis' turn to panic, a lump forming in his chest as he thought that Indru truly did not want him in his life anymore. Nephews and a niece he would never know. His previous happiness dwindled again.

<b>"No,"</b> he answered quietly, <b>"that's not necessary. I..."</b> Was it really so hard just to reach out? His voice soft with discomfort, he tried, but couldn't keep the distance from his tone. <b>"Congratulations on - on your family, Indru. I'm sorry to hear things have been hard."</b></blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

Indy is always so emo when he thinks his family hates him. XD He cannot deal.

Though Kinis's reaction to the pups did not go unnoticed, Indru was unsure as how to react to it. Ruiko had known of their birth, and also their expectancy, so surely he would have passed the news on to their younger brother? Indru can remember briefly wondering then if that would bring Kinis to find him where he had failed, but it had not and again Indru had started to lose hope. Though his brother expressed disinterest in him finding the wolf he sought Indru did not know what that meant either, did he just not wish to spend time in Indru's company and would return when he left this part of the borders? A sigh broke through Indru, his heart was always heavy when their was discord among his family and his guilt towards his parents, and his inability to keep the Tainn's strong for them inevitably followed. His gaze turned from Kinis and drifted back over his shoulder uncomfortably before resting somewhere off into the distance to Kinis's right.

Thank you, pride was clear in his voice and eyes when there was mention of his mate and pups, yet Kinis's words caused perhaps the greatest of his sorrow yet from this meeting. It could be your family too, he wanted to say, it was in Indru's eyes, he loved his brother but he would not let himself guilt him. I miss them, and though he was not specific Indru knew he would know who he meant — their family, the lost ones, his litter mate Niija, and his siblings who he had helped to raise to adulthood his entire life, and of course, the family members who Kinis knew least of all but who Indru adored, their parents. But I miss you too. Gone were the days when the three of them used to sleep with themselves pressed up against his stomach in their main den, abruptly they had grown and everything had gone wrong while Indru had tried to desperately to keep them all together. I am sorry you are so angry at me, and that you can't forgive me, but I still love you Kinis and I always will. Then, angry that he had said anything at all, Indru turned swiftly to head back into the depths of Swift River unable to hear Kinis agree that it could never be forgiven.

<i>he's such a fuzzbutt <3 poor boys tormenting each other!</i>

<blockquote>How could he have not known? Seeing Indru's fleeting mixed reaction, he realised that it was something he should have known... had Ruiko known? Had he mentioned anything? Now, with the knowledge that he held no bad feelings towards Indru, he had to wonder if Ruiko had said something but Kinis hadn't paid attention out of lack of interest... or otherwise. The idea brought another wrenching movement to his gut. How could he be so callous? The news was wonderful.

The wall continued to crumble, but it was Indru who tore it down. Or was it more like the wall fell on him? All of a sudden, his brother's eyes and words bore a hurting honesty, something which startled Kinis - that was exactly how he was feeling. But that didn't make sense, surely it was Indru who -

<b>"<i>Indru!</i>"</b> He hadn't thought about it, hadn't even needed to consider his reaction. After such a strange, emotionally devoid reunion, Indru's words had smashed it all to pieces. There was nothing to do but chase him - Indru was leaving, why was he leaving? - and Kinis' heart was in his mouth as he stubbornly kept pace. It felt so wrong to be assertive with this brother, push for it and not just roll over, but he was in partial shock and needed to process this destruction of what the last few minutes had appeared to prove to him.

<b>"Indru, I -"</b> How could he explain that everything was backwards? <b>"I'm not angry,"</b> he breathed, <b>"I've never - I'm not... Indru. I've missed you too."</b> And why had that been so hard? Determined to get to grips with the situation, he leapt forward to block Indru's path, turning about to face him head-on.

<b>"I'm <i>sorry.</i> I - Indru, I came to see <i>you</i>. I'm sorry I took so long."</b></blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

There was no time to react to Kinis's shout for him before suddenly the boy was there in front of him almost blocking his way and for a moment Indru bristled out of instinct, his hackles rising along his spin and his tail raising to stand vertical as his ears flicked forwards bringing Indru into a fearsome stance. But then quickly his brother started to talk and he seemed in as much confusion about what to say and how he felt as Indru was; yet the leader listened intently never the less, his dominant posture relaxing once again as he did so. The boy left him dumbfounded, it seemed what Indru thought had thought were the feelings between them had been the near opposite; there was no anger but instead a shared longing for things to be fixed. Then as he continued to speak it all made sense, the hesitation at the start, the reason as to why he didn't want Ruiko called and Indru wondered when things had become so difficult that they couldn't have just spoken freely like he and Triell, it was something though they could perhaps rectify now.

The shock of it had taken Indru's speech, and though his tail waved slightly, still hindered by his confusion, he tongue had no ability to move. I am glad you came, however long it took, and the truth of the words rung clear in Indru's voice as he took a hesitant step towards his brother, dropping his muzzle to run it along the top of Kinis's head and down his neck in affection. I missed you so much, and your brother and sister too, as there was nothing quite like the bond of a litter mate, Indru knew that whatever happened with Ruiko it would almost always be fixable, they were birthed at the same time and had never known life without the other, they were never on odd for long. You could come home, he offered, Ruiko's stay was not a permanent one after all and though he was near an adult grown Indru hated the thought of Kinis without their brothers protection, meet your niece and nephews. I named one Rihael, Kinis. A smile cracked his muzzle then, pride was clear in his eyes, his love for his father was not a fact he hid and though Kinis may not be able to remember him much he knew he must have heard many a story.

<blockquote>Indru's brief moment of hostility had been something Kinis had had to overlook, too driven by the need to put things right. If Indru was as confused about their relationship as he, then it was an instinct easily forgiven.

<b>"I should have come back sooner,"</b> he said, now more angry at himself than anything. Oh, irony. Indru's affectionate touch was welcomed, and Kinis nudged his nose into Indru's cheek when he pulled back. This felt so much more natural - how could he have ever let that wall form? But it had happened so quickly...

No matter how happy he was for the sourness to have left the reunion, he knew that he couldn't provide a perfect answer to Indru's offer. That was eclipsed when he was informed of Rihael; Kinis' smile grew to match Indru's, proud in his own way. He could not really remember his parents, but their memory had vividly lived on through his older siblings, and he knew how much such a gesture to them would have meant. <b>"That's perfect,"</b> he breathed, overcome with emotion. To think that the Tainns had become so fragmented, and yet here was proof that they truly lived on. <b>"I would love to meet them,"</b> he continued without really thinking. He hadn't intended to return to Swift River on any intimate basis, but it felt as if he had no choice, and he wasn't putting up much of a resistance. Besides, if Ruiko hadn't come back yet, then Kinis' work was on hold; the new pack couldn't form without its figurehead. What harm would waiting a little longer do?

<b>"Who is their mother?"</b> he asked, falling into familiar, easy conversation without trouble. <b>"Did I ever meet her?"</b> He didn't have any specific memories of Indru with unrelated females, but you never know. To be invited to meet his brother's mate was also something that he hoped for.</blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

Welllll now, look at SR filling up! We agreed that as it's temporary it's cool to have to adults in SR and we'll rank you, as it makes no sense for Kinis otherwise! XD yay for all the Tainn's back again! <3

A wolfish grin broke Indru's muzzle in pure joy, since his return the pack has seemed to have grown in leaps and bounds, not only were Tainn's returning to it, but new faces as well. Indru wondered if it was perhaps the puppies that enticed some, as after all the strength of a pack is only there if it has a future to rely on. That's brilliant, not only would Indru be over the moon, but so would Triell who would no doubt love to have his litter mate back. I can't wait for you to meet them, Kinis, there are two boys and a girl. Rihael, Fenru and Kisla. It was not possible for Indru to speak of them without pride and affection creeping into his voice, they were perfect and thanks to Cori healthy, even if a bit smaller than they would be had the circumstances been better.

I'm sure Ruiko will be happier knowing that you are safe here while he is, though Indru didn't express that it was something that worried him also the sentiment was there and unable to resist he leaned forward to tug playfully at Kinis's ear. At the mention of Corinna he beamed once again and shook his head in response to his brother's question. You haven't met her, but she is brilliant, you'll love her. Utter confidence graced Indru's tone at that statement, though no one could love her quite as much as he did. Corinna Donata. Though Indru supplied her name he didn't think Kinis would recognise it unless it had been mentioned in passing, she had no family nearby that he knew off and she had been a lone wolf sometime before joining Swift River. Quickly he leaned forward to press his nose against the boys cheek before darting around him, an encouraging look on his face, it was about time he returned home, if only for a little while.