Bleeding Love

<blockquote><i>Mostly Cloudy — Current Temperature: 54° F/12° C -set along the borders anyone welcome to join
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It was a nice day she had to admit. The sun was out, but there were huge, fluffy white clouds scattered along the sky it made it just right. Sadly, she knew it was time to make the mornings rounds securing the border. Her stride was <span class='word'>aplomb</span>, and slow as she followed the familiar boundry that was Grizzly Hollow humming a sad tune. She was tired of being upbeat, and she really didn't like this task, each time she did it <i>his</i> scent was less, and less. She was starting to think she would forget what he had smelled like, who he had been. Ears pressed tight against her skull, and her tail gave a harsh flick behind her. She had to force her head to stay skyward, and rushed forward rubbing her side against the bark of a cedar tree to try and keep her mind off <i>him</i>. Another long stride, she took a moment to sniff the area to make sure no one else was around. She was alone, and felt the lump in her throat. How she missed <i>him</i>, how she so much just wanted him to be here, forget about what had happened. She felt so much like sulking, like just breaking down, and bawling she had to keep her guard up. She couldn't dwell, she couldn't think back. She had to keep face, the children didn't need two unavailable parents.

A faint smile flickered on her lips, and she did think of her children. She wasn't all alone she had Hocus,Trisden, Theo, and Arlette. She repeated their names in her head. <i>Hocus,Trisden,Theo, and Arlette</i>. She would not trade them or their happiness for anything. She choked back the wetness in her throat, and pressed his face from her mind. There was only so much she could take, and eventually she was bound to break, but for now she would silently, and slowly bleed. Like nothing had happened, or their was no inner turmoil she continued along the inivisible line keeping an eye out for someone.</blockquote>

<blockquote>Once upon a time, it would have seemed illogical for her mother to be anything other than strong and immovable, untouchable by anything negative. But the young have a natural ability to sense emotion and react accordingly, and the mask that Jaysyek needed of late was not perfect enough to hide her sadness completely.

Too confused by the idea that her mother was even slightly weak, Trisden had never said anything on the subject. She was growing up though, day by day, and was now old enough to accompany the adults on occasional trips around their territory. She benefited not only from her childish empathy, but a slowly awakening sense of self and attention to others.

Her mother was sad. It wasn't hard to understand why; losing father and Prosper, so randomly and without reason, had hurt everyone. Trisden had spent her time mourning the loss. Mother, though, she seemed to take the longest; she put up the bravest face, but Trisden always felt sad when she watched her beloved parent's genuine smile become rarer and rarer. What could she do? Elettra was here, and so was Raigo, but neither of them were father. Neither of them made mother smile like he used to.

That morning, Trisden had watched their mother quietly disappear on her daily rounds, knowing that she wouldn't return for some time. What did she do, on those trips all alone? All of a sudden, the young girl was filled with a longing to be there for her mother, make her smile like she used to, make her happy again. Filled with determination but no idea how to carry it out, Trisden had to exploit the few moments the puppies had between carers to slip away unnoticed. She had been sorely tempted to invite Hocus along, but the need for secrecy finally persuaded her against it; she didn't need his big white rear bouncing along to alert Elettra or Raigo of her disappearance.

It wasn't hard to follow after her mother's trail. Though Jaysyek was far out of sight, Trisden knew her scent more distinctively than anything else, and relied solely on her nose to guide her. It was strange to be so far from the den on her own, but she felt no rebellious thrill; she was not out here to be trouble, but only to seek her sad mother. Had she been truly sneaking, she would not have yipped excitedly at finally catching sight of that distinctive white shape. Her tail wagging, Trisden pushed herself even more, bounding happily along with renewed enthusiasm.

Mother could only be pleased to see her, right?</blockquote>

<blockquote>The earth, and dry pine needles cushioned her steps. She wished they could cushion the hurt. Like she'd done a million times she asked herself why? Why he was gone, why he hadn't come back. Why he hadn't taken them with him. Part of her felt he had deliberately left them. Her father could not handle the hurt, the responsibility, it only seemed fitting the past repeat itself. Had it been to much for him? Was she, and this life not what he had really wanted? She felt much forgotten. Some belonging someone couldn't remember having, and would never look for. Of coarse she had her suspicions, if somehow Vlar and he had kept something from her. That well it nearly broke her heart to believe it. It didn't make sense for him to go....

She moved a little quicker, taking a moment to nose a nearby stump. It was long dead, and was a silvery gray to prove so. Her nose traveled around it finding nothing unusual. It was home to some ants, and various other insects. Pale head looked around wondering how the tree had broke, and where it might be. The tree was in the ground long rotted away. Mismatched eyes once more look to the jagged edges. She passed the thing every day, and was only inspecting it to try to get her mind off things. The distraction wasn't working, and she trotted to the next section of land trying to quench the hopelessness.

The next bit was the most familiar, where she had followed Borden and marked their home for the first time. She had been picturing them all doing this at some point, and she did think sometime of taking the children along. It would be a chance for them to see something new, and learn yet another part of daily life. She was sure they were getting bored with home. One could only explore the same thing so many times before boredom set in. Maybe tomorrow she would see who wanted to come with. Right now she contemplated what to do with the rest of the day. They needed more members if they were to survive the winter, but she felt Raigo, and Elettra would likely want a chance to wander. Maybe they might have luck of finding someone in need of a home. She, would really like to spend some time with her children. It was crazy to think they were almost four months old. It seemed like yesterday they were as small as her paws, and helpless.

She was soon surprised by company, and the yip informed her it was the small kind. She stopped straight away, her gray triangle points swiveling to locate where her puppy was. It was her eyes that spotted Trisden first. Jayse's high tail waved behind her, and a surprised smile lit up her face. However, before Trisden reached her she took a quick peek around the forest to make sure there was no danger, and then checked over her daughter to make sure no harm had come upon her. The youth appeared happy, nothing out of the ordinary, and the mother sighed a breath of relief. She could not help but wonder how she'd gotten here, and if she should send her back She dismissed the idea, not wanting to crush her daughter's spirit, and thinking she much needed her company.

There was brief hesitation to walk to her daughter, but she held her stance letting Trisden come to her. She did realize they were growing up, and felt this a chance not to baby. She wanted them to be confident in their abilities, no matter how hard it was for her not to help them. <b>"Hey sweetheart, everything alright?"</b> She spoke in a pleasant tone as she did most times, asking to make sure nothing was wrong. </blockquote>

<blockquote>There it was - a valuable smile! Trisden beamed, bouncing the rest of the short distance. She didn't have time to answer the question before she leapt into her mother's chest, her nose automatically burying itself in the thick warm fur of her mother's neck. She wasn't nearly as small as she used to be, when she could easily get lost in the expanse of white fur, but she was still more than slight enough to feel considerable comfort when pressed against Jaysyek. She was the safe, protective blanket, and, distantly through her happiness, Trisden wished that she could be the same for her mum.

<b>"Yep!"</b> she finally answered, giddy with pride that she had managed to come all this way. Nobody would ever patronise her again! Hah, she'd like to have Hocus see this - he'd be totally jealous of her abilities. Snuggling deeper, her words came out slightly mumbled, though she thought she was speaking clearly enough. <b>"I wanted to see you. I love you."</b>

Pulling back, she grinned up to her mother's face, her tail now an unstoppable force. Her train of thought continued briskly on, the declaration of love so natural to the young girl that it hardly broke her stride. <b>"What are you doing?"</b></blockquote>

<blockquote>Eyes catch her daugher's happy smile, and her tail gives another sway of joy. It doesn't take long for Trisden to bound the rest the way to her, because in the next blink of an eye she feels her press against her. Soft laugh erupts from her chest, and she burries her nose in return in the tan fur of her child, breathing deep. She cherishes the moment, and gently nuzzles the part of Trisden in reach. Another amused, and happy laugh escapes her from the exzumberiant reply of yep. It feels good to laugh, and her ears stand up hearing the muffled, but sweet words of her little girl.

<b>"And I love you,"</b> she murmurs, giving a few affecionate licks to the light toned pelt. It was a pleasant surprise to see her, and she was glad she'd come to find her. Quiety she tries to savor the short moment, and than looks making sure that no one else has followed Trisden. Far as she can tell, Trisden is the only wandering pup for now.

Jaysyek took in another whiff of her daughter's scent, and she grinned back when Trisden's face meets her. Her daughter's happiness is a catching thing. It was probably why Jayse wasn't in total pieces, she could not be unhappy in such pure joy, and wonder they had. A quesiton, something she expected a lot of these days was voiced. She took a second thinking the best way to explain what it was exactly, though she was sure Trisden would understand. She was very bright.

<b>"I'm marking the lands of Grizzly Hollow with my scent. It's a way to protect us. See it tells wolves, and other animals that it's our home, and enless they want trouble they shouldn't cross it."</b> Mismatched eyes looked into Trisden's, waiting for a second question.</blockquote>

<blockquote>The girl smiled happily at the returned affection, but her mind was already leaping ahead. What did mother do out here anyway? Could Trisden help? Now that was an idea that excited her; how better to cheer her mum up other than being incredibly useful? Then she wouldn't have as much work to do, and could spend more time playing! There was truly no flaw in this plan.

Despite the fact that her mother's mission, when explained, sounded a little more intense than Trisden had originally thought, she didn't let it dampen her spirits. So what if she was more used to being protected rather than protecting, it couldn't be that hard, right?

<b>"Nobody would mess with you,"</b> Trisden giggled, batting at her mother's nose. <b>"You're so big! And you have Ttra."</b> But then, if that was true, why would she need to do it? Mother wouldn't bother with something that was unnecessary, would she? Trisden hesitated, her playful paw coming to rest on her mother's nose and being promptly forgotten about. <b>"<i>Has</i> you ever had trouble?"</b></blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Sep 09, 2011, 03:49 PM by Trisden.)

<blockquote>An amuse grin holds up her lips at the comment. She wishes it was as true as Trisden made it sound, and maybe to a point it was. She makes no sign to disagree, and instead tries to dodge Trisden's paws. <b>"Your right about that,"</b> she agrees impressed by the observations of her pup. Who could not look at Elettra and know she was a force not to be reckoned with?Quickly Jayse dips and pokes Trisden under her chin making a swift effort to hear another giggle. She pulls up, and smiles when her small paw rests atop her snout. Thoughtful she looks in the changing eyes of her daughter, and gently shakes her head. <b>"No, I haven't."</b> It might not be the whole truth, but it was close. She didn't want to talk about the one time Kiche had pressed her patientce because one she was sure Trisden had liked him to a point, and two Kiche had changed , as far as Jayse knew, after that. 

Softly she pulled her muzzle from the tan paw, and planted a wet lick atop the girl's head. <b>"Come on, you can help me,"</b> she says an excited edge to her tone. She waits for an answer before walking forward a few paces. <b>"See wherever you notice my scent leave your own,"</b> she says demonstrating by rubbing her side along a tall berry bush. She circles back, her white tail wagging waiting fir Trisden to try. She wasn't sure how much she wanted the youth's scent at the borders, but she couldn't hide them forever.</blockquote>

(This post was last modified: Sep 11, 2011, 11:18 PM by Jaysyek.)

<blockquote>Trisden was pleased to hear that nobody had messed with her mum. The very idea sparked in her an intense rage, as if she wanted to reach out and squash anyone who dared to rob her mother of the few smiles she currently had. The sentiment didn't extend to her father or Prosper, not quite, but only due to a childish sense of devotion to her absent parent; should Borden's return take too long, and Trisden grow too much, her resentment would likely start to point in more appropriate directions.

For now, it was enough that she just try to fill the hole they had left.

At once, though, her mother changed the subject - well, only slightly - and Trisden was the one distracted. The girl's excitement rose in correlation to that found in her mother's voice, and she marveled at the idea of being invited to help.

She listened seriously to the explanation, watching the demonstration with concentration. It looked pretty simple. <b>"Will the trouble animals be scared of me too?"</b> she asked as she hopped along, barreling into the bush and smushing every body part that she could against it. By the end, she probably smelt more of the bush than it did of her. <b>"I's not as big as you,"</b> she said, though more as a statement of fact than anything. She suddenly laughed, and bounced after her mother, ready to repeat the highly-efficient process with the next landmark. <b>"I'd beat them anyways! Just see."</b></blockquote>

<blockquote>It was a small relief Trisden did not inquire more on the subject. Though on a lists of topics it might be an easier one, compared to the many other questions that could rise up, none the less ears were directed on the cream coat when a question did come forth. Pale head bobbed, <b>"Of coarse,"</b> she said sure that her scent was bound to keep something out of the bush she had entered. She smiled fondly watching her put her whole self into the action, and only continued to smile saying, <b>"You'll be as big as me soon enough, just wait."</b> Already she was a quarter if not more of her heigth, and Jayse knew by the time snow fell they would all be tall, if not taller than herself. Time went to fast when it came to things like that.

Jayse watched the beaming youth for a second, and when the timing was right she continued to the next tree trunk. She slid against the bark, just enough to brush a few flecks to the ground. <b>"I believe it,"</b> came her reply, knowing there was a fierceness within the young Lyall when it came to protecting home, and family. This made the mother proud, seeing a bit of herself within her daughter. Some how it made her feel a little better that she would most likely be able to hold her own when it came to things. Tail swayed, and she stood to watch Trisden tackle the next obsticle. <b>"Just wait till it snows, then you'll all be keeping our home safe."</b></blockquote>

<blockquote>Jaysyek's encouragements were like drugs of the highest order to Trisden, who soaked them up with euphoria. To be as big as her mother... she could only dream. She and Arlette were both small, and though Trisden believed she was smaller, her white sister was <i>daintier</i>. Just as she could believe, when stretched, that there were wolves larger than her mother, she could also believe that it didn't matter; they were made of tough stuff, Trisden and her mum, and if size didn't matter then that did.

It didn't help that most of them babied Trisden, even if only a little bit, but this grown-up treatment was exactly what she craved.

The girl rubbed herself against the tree trunk that her mother had chosen as their next target, getting closer to the overgrown plant than she had ever before in her short life. It was her mother's last comment which really set the fires of enthusiasm burning. <b>"I'll keep everyone safest!"</b> she yipped, grinning. <b>"You'll see."</b> It was only after she had finished marking the tree that a thought occurred to her. Frowning, she looked up at her mother. <b>"When what snows?"</b></blockquote>