Endless. It was the ongoing theme on the record that was her life, playing over and over again, until she could no longer stand the music.The fae had been travelling aimlessly for weeks, searching for a scent, a whisper of information, anything that could lead her to the silver cub, but without a lead, she found herself growing weary. The very type that settles into your bones, and weighs on your soul. It was exhausting. Nobody knew where the near-yearling was, or if she had even gone with Erebos. It was like some special brand of karma, reserved just for her had finally hit it's mark.
There were very few certainties anymore. Aside from the apparent disbanding of Silent Moon Plateau, and.. and.. The blur of motion that made up her pale paws ceased. Suddenly, and overwhelmingly, she received an onslaught of memories so vivid, that the woman was forced to the ground. Hard, unforgiving soil cradled her, as the choked sobs began erupting from her throat. They came slowly at first, until even the birdsong was drowned out entirely. She'd been so busy, for so long. Her mind filled with little else than finding what she was looking for, but now, with the impossibility of it all clouding over her like rain in the spring, and the time to grieve, she did just that.
Celandine wondered briefly if @Takis knew, or @Hypatia. It was so hard to process the fact that he no longer walked the Earth, with his tail flying high over his back like a flag at full mast. She was left to wonder how it happened, if he was in pain, or if it was quick. Did he even know that she loved him? She wished she would have told him, or thanked him for being who he was. @Phineas had given her so much more than she had ever let him know, and now it was too little to late.
Regardless of how hard she tried, the pale yearling couldn't remember their last exchange. Had they fought? Or simply talked? Either way, it would never be enough. There was still so much to be said, so much for her to learn. It was a prime example of just how much she had taken him for granted; Assuming he would always be there. Another round of sobs shook her entire being to the core. "D-dad.." Sniffling, she continued to the heavens, or the gods, or his spirit, or anything that wanted to listen. "Y-you ca-nt be g-gone. I d-don't kno-ow what t-to d-do. I c-can't find them. An-ny of them." And then a plea left her lips, "I st-still nee-d y-ou." He had always been there. Even when she thought she didn't need him, somewhere in her subconscious, she took comfort in knowing that he was still there. What was life without her father?
When her grief finally stopped echoing through the trees, and all that remained was the empty vessel where her soul once lingered, Celandine stood. Sad, and broken, with an ache in her throat, she turned. The woman couldn't search forever, and she was so unbelievably tired. There was nothing left for her to do, but go back. She'd return to the mountain, and once more walk where he ruled, or head over, and leave for good. Letting her paws carry her wherever they might, the former heiress decided to leave her pathetic display of weakness behind, locking it safely away in the dark corners of her mind. She'd never be that weak again.