Fallen Tree Cove Little China Doll

@Lunette

Staring across the forest floor from his makeshift den Kajika watched as the freezing drizzle fell to the ground slowly soaking everything around him. He had spent his morning trying to get just a little more sleep after his duties had been taken care of. Instead it had been spent adjusting and readjusting his position for a more comfortable one that would bring on sleep. Midmorning when it hadn't come he finally gave up settling in a position with his shoulder propped against the wall. He now kept mostly to himself with Moonshadow checking on him as she had promised. He was pleasantly surprised but at the same time she seemed to be a wolf of her word, she never came to the den though.

A yawn escaped that dark man's maw as he rose to his feet and stretched his limbs, after laying for a few hours they needed it. His life was seemingly crumbling around him and he had chosen to distance himself from most of his pack mates. There was one member that he wouldn't avoid, his little Lunette, she of course wasn't his but he cared a lot about her and wanted to make do what he could to make sure she was happy.

She was was the only one that he cared to search out because that was what she needed, to know that she wasn't wasting his time. Perhaps an adventure with her or the smile that she would inevitably bring to his face was what he needed. Trotting through the territory he went searching for her until her scent hit him. Kajika followed it until it had grown strong enough that he knew she was close, “Lunette, where are you?” He called to the young Vuesain.

(This post was last modified: Feb 15, 2017, 11:35 AM by Kajika.)

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Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

Freezing rain was a new experience for Lunette, and one she decided she could definitely do without. The previous day had been spent inside, staring at the miserable downpour, because the sensation of what was practically liquid ice falling from the sky to freeze on her fur was not pleasant. So she'd stayed inside, a bundle of energy and restlessness, as miserable as the rain and the gray clouds refusing to budge. Hours passed with no end in sight, and Lunette had drifted in and out of shallow sleep for many, many hours before things became better. Not that they became good, per se, because the sky was still drooling some really cold rain, but it was better. This weather was more like a frozen bank of fog hanging around, except it ever so gently moved downwards. This, she could live with, especially after meeting the freezing drizzle's meaner, older brother yesterday.

So she set out, alone, since her stupid idiot of a sister had left her. Like.. ow. What kind of sister did that? What kind of womb-mate said so long suckers! and took off before she was even a bloody bleeping year old?! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DID THAT?! Lunette let out a frustrated sigh as she nosed among the well-known rocks of the territory, flinging aside snow to lick at the mosses (because why not?). It still hurt. It still bloody damned well hurt. Ismena had always been there (noshit, you're siblings), and.. she had gone off on her own a thousand times, but she was always coaxing Lunette into coming along, and she'd even manage to drag the silver girl far south into the mountains once! And then.. one day, she just decided the mountain wasn't big enough, and left. They had been eight months old.

"You idiot," she whispered under her breath, abandoning the rocks and heading down towards the lake. "What do you know about anything, Issy? You're probably dead now, you impatient lunatic."

She tried to muster hate towards her wayward sister, a band-aid against the void in her chest, but it didn't work. All she felt was empty, betrayed, disappointed—and like it was her fault. If she had been more adventurous, would Ismena have stayed? If she hadn't been so boring and worthless, would she have stayed? Had Lunette driven her off by being such a coward? She didn't know, because Ismena wasn't there to be asked, and their goodbye had been so sudden that she had been too stunned to formulate anything coherent. She swallowed, and stepped out on the ice. Pain makes for reckless decisions and she stood a few yards out, staring at the solid roof of the lake. The risk of it breaking beneath her weight was minimal.

“Lunette, where are you?” The voice drifted across the lake, but it came from the trees on the shore. Lunette's ears perked forward instantly, and with her claws offering good purchase on the slick ice, she spun around on the spot. She was no longer the little chubby cub he'd taken exploring so long ago, but a slender youth heading for maturity at rocket speed. "Over here!" she called at the trees, breathless all of a sudden.

Kajika had—well, come for her. He didn't sound angry, but it was hard to tell these days. He'd kept mostly to himself, and the only times they had crossed paths were when she was away from the communal den. Not much of import had passed between them then, but—oh, she didn't know what to do. The ache Ismena left in the empty space in her heart warred with the fierce excitement at the prospect of spending some time with Kajika. Claws clicked on the ice as she made her way back to the shore, where she stood waiting, tail wagging slightly behind her and eyes roving the trees, trying to catch sight of his dark form between them.

Making his way through the forest that freezing rain collected on his fur and froze leaving little ice balls at the tips, he hardly noticed. The thought that perhaps it might eventually take some of the dirt off flitted through his mind only briefly. It did feel a little strange to be out in the forest at that time of day. It had been awhile since he'd done much of anything but try and sleep through the day. Still he moved through the trees as he always had in search of the young Vuesain, she was his only concern then.

The dark man felt badly that he hadn't spent more time with her especially with Ismena deciding she wanted to see the world. Though that hadn't been the reason Des had left he could sympathize with the pup. He'd once been the one to be left behind and had to learn to find his own way in the pack. Now it seemed that it was Lunettes turn and he should have been there for her the moment he found out about Ismena. Now as he searched the cove he meant to make it up to her.

He hated that he'd been so caught up in his own misery that he'd not pushed himself to find her as often as possible and go for an adventure or lesson. Anything to prove to her that he did care and wanted to spend time with her. The communal den had been the first place he had looked for her, with the current weather it's where he thought she would be, he was wrong. That was when he set out widening his search until it brought him near the lake. Her scent reaching his nostrils told him he was on the right trail and when he was closer he called out to her.

The beta had yet to leave the trees when her familiar voice reached his ears turning them in the direction her call had come from. Kajika turned to move down the path to the lake where he knew he would find her.

She was there on the shore, tail wagging just enough to show she was happy to see him. She was no longer the small pup but almost a yearling and that saddened him some as she would be moving on with her life, growing up and coming into her own. Still that thought didn't keep the smile from his maw as he neared her, “There you are,” he said a cheerfulness that had been missing from his tone for sometime now. “I've been looking all over for you because I wanted to apologize for not being around much lately,” he told her right away. It was important he tell her, “Especially when you needed me most, I hope you can forgive me,” he added brushing his muzzle under her chin.

He didn't want them to get too busy on an adventure or just talking without her getting the apology she deserved. Though the weather wasn't ideal he thought he would leave the decision of what they would do up to her. She seemed to be a little more confident as of late and thought this would help, “I've also come to spend some time with you and wanted to know what you might want to do.”

(This post was last modified: Feb 15, 2017, 03:55 PM by Kajika.)

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Let me know if you don't want me to assume he walks with her. ^^

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

There were thing she ought to think of, but they were things she did not want to think of. They were the budding thoughts of an adult, thoughts like dark, slender vines wrapping themselves around her soul, her heart, her mind—they pulsed and vibrated, and the strange hymn of their movement turned to whispers. What will happen to you when you grow up? His dark form materialized between the trees, and her heart shivered. What will happen to him, when he's older? She had learned, the hard way, that things didn't stay the same. A rent in her ear she could live with, and when she grew up, Aleister had been little but a story of a lost brother. He had never impacted her life.

But now, Ismena had gone on to become one of those stories, a tale to be told to the next litter of cubs—oh, your older sister Ismena, she had wandering paws and an insatiable hunger for adventure, so before she was even a year old she left to wander the world and seek wonders. And they would never have seen her, never have known her, and she would only be a story to them, a story like Aleister.

Kajika, she thought as she watched him approach, was one of those stories too. He had left his birth pack and had ended up here, thrust into position as second of Fallen Tree Cove, and guardian of a young, frightened girl. Would he become a story here, as well? Would he leave, maybe not this spring, but the next? To seek his own cove with fallen trees, a mate, cubs?

And if he left—what would happen to her?

So the vines hummed around her being, dark thoughts she tried to cure with sunlight, but it was sorely lacking on that day. She was afraid of making him her sun because.. the ache in her heart was frightening, a thing of the monster and the vines. She didn't know what it wanted of her. She didn't know why it was there. She wasn't sure she wanted to feel it. She didn't want to lose more than she already had.

"Here I am," she chimed in happily, unable to stop herself, tail still swaying serenely behind her as she watched him approach. “I've been looking all over for you because I wanted to apologize for not being around much lately. Especially when you needed me most, I hope you can forgive me.” As with all things, as with all sentences starting with I was looking or I want to talk to you, her heart did a sickening back-flip, and her blood surged with adrenaline for the briefest of moments. She steadied herself, concern leaking into her eyes. She felt older all of a sudden. Morn worn. More aware. Her head tilted back as his muzzle pressed against her jaw. "Always," she said quietly. While she couldn't believe it on some days, it helped to know that he had noticed, that he had at least thought about her as she was left alone in the cold.

“I've also come to spend some time with you and wanted to know what you might want to do.” Suddenly self-conscious, her tail drooped, her ears flattened, and she looked aside, down the icy, snow-covered shoreline. Even though it was his suggestion, she couldn't help but wonder, why is it always about me? What about if there was something he wanted to do—?

"Walk with me?" she asked, hesitantly, and began to pick her away over the ice and rocks sitting out of it. She threw a cautious glance at him, fighting with herself as her bursting heart begged her to ask but her mind yelled it's none of your business. Just because he made it about her, she didn't have to let it stay that away—definitely too self-conscious to snatch up the moment and just bask in his presence. The last thing she wanted was to accidentally be a burden on him. So, she turned it back on him as she walked, but the largest part of why was out of care. "Something's been bothering you lately, hasn't it?"

It was fine to assume that.

For so long he had believed his darkest days were past, the last few weeks of his time with his birth pack. Trying to get them to change their ways and failing, fighting with himself over the decision to leave and start over somewhere else. A place where he could do right and be a good man, that place had ended up being Fallen Tree Cove. In his time there he has done right, protected and provided for the pack, looked after the cubs. He felt that he had accomplished what had brought him to the lore and until a couple of months ago he was happy with his life.

Still the dark days had returned so many of them bled together as he laid in his den not even seeing the world outside once the sun came up. Falling into dreams and thoughts of the past, a complicated yet happier time for him because he’d had Des in his life and they were becoming more than just friends. He had felt it in every part of his being and yet he had not said anything to her. Her voice was always in the back of his mind whispering to him that he'd failed her when he hadn't gone looking for her.

The guilt came full force when he realized how caught up he'd been in his own pain when he should have been worried about Lunette. He should have been worried about the pain she was going through when Ismena decided to go out and see the world. It was one thing to have a brother you'd never met because seeing the world was what he had chosen for his life. It was a completely other thing to have a littermate who she'd grown up with and grown close to leave her behind. He'd known Ismena had left and he had not gone to Lunette to make sure she was okay, see if she needed anything, helped her through the loss of her sister.

When he'd finally found her by the shore of the lake the sound of her voice, the happiness he heard there brought the smile back to his face. Seeing her tail swaying behind her sent his wagging behind him and he felt the guilt weighing heavier on his heart. He couldn't wait to tell her why he'd sought her out and hoped she could forgive him, he would beg if she ask but she did not. Uttering a single word and the pressure he felt against his muzzle as he brushed it under her muzzle told him they were okay. She wasn't upset with him and that his hopes of spending time with her as they had in the past soared. “Thank you Lunette, it means a lot,” he said in response to her forgiving him.

He wanted to see her and spend time with her because he believed that was what she needed. He wanted to prove to her that she was not a burden to him and that whatever she needed he would do what he could for her. She was more important to him than he felt she realized and he intended to make sure she did know no matter how much time it took. Lunette deserved to know that she held a special place in his heart, all he wanted to do was keep her safe and help her come into her own.

When she asked him to walk with her he didn't hesitate thinking she might have a place she wanted to show him or explore. “Of course,” he told her as he joined her as she picked her way down the shore amongst the ice and rocks. He was only slightly curious about the glance she gave him as he walked next to her but put it aside for the time being until they reached wherever she was taking him. He soon found out she had noticed his recent behavior and understood it to mean something was bothering him. “More than one thing actually,” he said without hesitation. She might still be young but he would not keep anything from her especially when she was asking such a direct question. “I lost someone that I was very close to shortly after coming to the cove. I thought I had moved on but I haven't,” he explained as a place to start as well as give her the chance to ask any questions she might have.

(This post was last modified: Feb 21, 2017, 03:53 PM by Kajika.)

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Is this set before or after the lynx?

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

There was one thing she found herself wondering as he thanked her and fell into stride beside her, a thing she thought that, maybe, she should ask, but she was unsure of the etiquette of such things. Was it a ..strange question? Was it not something you asked? As time passed and her heart grew older, she realized that many of the things she took for granted were a lot more complicated than they were, and in ways others might not find them complicated. The world was full of odds and ends, questions and manners, and the truth bred into her by her wolf heritage sometimes conflicted with the truth of emotion. But as she picked her way over ice and rock, always mindful of the dark presence next to her, she found the question burning in her mind: what am I to you?

And each time it flared, bright as a bonfire in the darkness, she pushed it down, away, into ash and soil, doing her best to get it six feet under where it wouldn't launch itself out of her mouth and destroy the peace she felt with him. She was a child, and he was not; she was foolish, he was not. Whatever grew inside her heart was surely just gratitude, an encompassing, overwhelming thanks the he saw her, that he spent time with her, that he cared for her. It was a warm feeling, but not even that explanation was enough to take out the tingling at the edges of her awareness.

His words were, though. “I lost someone that I was very close to shortly after coming to the cove. I thought I had moved on but I haven't,” and not even Lunette was oblivious enough to not catch on. "Oh," she said, thinking about how Moonshadow had stood as leader beside Vespertio but not been his mate, and how Moonshadow and Tagg had started having that thing in their gaze each time they looked at each other. It was no longer the casual interaction of pack mates or even close friends, and something about it had begun to fill her with both fear and confusion. Why, she couldn't tell, though.

She pushed Moonshadow and Tagg firmly out of her mind, and focused instead on Kajika. Why did life have to be a constant battle? Her sudden heartbreak struggled against the concern she felt for the man who had become more of a confidant than either of her parents were—all he did for her.. it would be so utterly thankless for her to take off crying over something as ridiculous as this! Claws clicked against the ice as she ambled on in silence, struggling to find the words to put to her fragile voice. It didn't seem all that impossible she'd follow the curved horizon in silence for forever. What do you say to that, anyway? I'm sorry? Lunette hadn't had anything to do with it, right? And asking who it was? Or why they left? Or if they hadn't left, what had happened? .. it all seemed intrusive.

Finally, she settled on "what happened?".

She was much bigger than she used to be, almost a woman coming into her own and should be able to deal with the things life threw at her. Still Kajika cared for her as he always had, did what he could to lift her up and make her happy. He protected her in the way he thought she needed it and not by fighting her battles or keeping her from things that could hurt her. That was not what Lunette needed, finding her place and knowing she could do whatever she set her mind to that was how he could help her. Being there for her when she needed him, he had failed at that recently causing him to feel terrible about it but she had forgiven him. Leaving him to wonder if she would forgive him anything, he did not want to test it.

When she asked about what was bothering him he thought about the fact that she was getting older, that one day she might experience what he had. She'd already lost her sister, Ismena had said goodbye but what if she hadn't would Lunette be in the same state as him. If maybe he could help her in the future by telling her about Des then he had to tell her. Maybe his words on this day as they walked side by side by the lake would come to her in a similar situation. She would remember what had happened to him and know that she could be stronger than he was. That she could and would overcome even if he hadn't.

Her singly uttered 'oh’ made his head turn to look at her, there seemed to be disappointment in her tone. “Is something wrong?” He asked kindly wanting to make sure that she was in fact okay. He'd started by telling her that he had lost someone as it seemed the best place to start. He did not know if he should tell her about Moonshadow but he also did not want to keep anything from her. She deserved more than that and as she had grown he had treated her differently. As the capable adult that she was which was why he had told her after the lynx had been taken care of that she was brave for coming to help. If she could hold her own then she was old enough to know exactly what was bothering him.

Her next question was asking him to go into further detail so he took a deep breath, “I met Des before I joined the cove and over time we grew close. She joined the cove and a little while later I did as well. Partly because of her and partly because I thought it was the right fit for me. I hadn't been in the cove long when one day she was gone, I couldn't find her scent anywhere in the cove. I found out that she'd gone scouting and hadn't returned.” It was a shorter version to be sure but he hadn't managed to fall into a tangent as he had when he's told Moonshadow. “I am angry with myself for never going to look for her,” he admitted which was something he hadn't said to anyone.

(This post was last modified: Feb 27, 2017, 02:08 PM by Kajika.)

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Shallow water has trapped several fish in a small pond. Hunt Opportunity

Lunette Vuesain

I’ve got my love stuck in my head

Why is it that the secrets you want to keep the most, are the ones that always bubble up to the surface, and leak out of your skin, your eyes..? The one thing she didn't want to tell Kajika was that she adored him, and would do anything for him, follow him to the ends of the earth, and she didn't want to say it for the simple fact that it was tinged with something else, a taste of the adult world. Something jagged and spiky and breath-taking and terrifying and dizzying all at once, something that only grew stronger and stronger without a care for how much she tried to smother it. The only effective cure so far had been his admittance that he had been in love with someone, and harsh as it was on her, it was both a relief and a great annoyance—because he noticed, of course. And asked about it, of course, his pretty voice (could voices be pretty?) kind. No no no no she wanted to reply, to slam the door shut on the friendly inquiry. He didn't need the additional burden of her fancy.

"No," she replied with only a hint of forced cheer, turning to look at him and flash him a bright smile. Nothing like wanting to spare others to turn you into a master liar.

She hoped (well, okay, no, to be fair, she hoped for that fairy-tale future she was pretty sure she'd never have with him—) he'd leave it at that. After all, she wanted to talk about him, and help him, not end up in some convoluted explanation about how she liked him, but really, it was okay, and she'd grow out of it, and, yeah, all sorts of things she could tell him and her to make things not awkward and not.. cause the end of the world.. because she was pretty sure that Kajika avoiding her would be the end of the world.

His deep breath made her ears twitch, and if she had had a remote, she'd have pressed pause and ran around screaming until settling down. The knot in her gut and heart had turned a bit sickening, and suddenly she felt unwell instead of just—bubbly. She forced herself to take a deep, slow, silent breath, calming the thunder of her pulse so she could actually hear him. And the story.. well. She was too young to relate to much of it, but drank it all in, and pondered it in silence accompanied by the tick-tick-tick of their claws.

So this Des, an unfamiliar name she might've heard in passing at some point a long time ago, was the reason Kajika had come here at all, sort of. Maybe he would've wound up here anyway, but she certainly seemed to have helped, and for that, Lunette decided to be grateful. Harshly, she told herself it was for the better that she had competition she couldn't beat, because that would—probably—make it easier for her to let go and she needed to do that, badly, because who would ever want to be with her?

You're off-track, girl. She blinked. "Do you think you could have found her?" she asked gently, padding along in the frozen precipitation and leaving paw prints on the slight dusting of snow. "I mean.. if you had nothing to track her by..." Her ears folded back as she heard how pathetic and futile her words were. It wasn't that she wanted to write Des out of his life—honestly, all she wanted for him was happiness—but there was something in his voice, in his words.. and the way he had acted lately.. if she could do anything to put something in him at peace, she'd do it. "I don't think you should blame yourself," she went on, helplessly, her tail low.

It was only one little word but with that he worried that he may have said something wrong, something that might have upset her.  The last thing he wanted to do was make her angry with him. Slowly as she grew older and could understand more of the world around her Lunette had become the one he could count on.  That burden taken from Moonshadow though he still cared so much for he couldn't put that on her.  As she started her new life with Tagg it was more clear than ever that she didn't need him.  It saddened the beta but there wasn't anything he could do about it, he wouldn't stop her from being happy. The fear that they would grow apart burned brightly in his chest causing an almost unbearable pain. Yet it was one that could not be avoided as things between Moonshadow and Tagg developed into more than just them liking each other.

Lunette had become the one he sought out always and as they grew closer with each passing day.  Kajika didn't know what he would do when it came time for her to follow the same path as Moonshadow.  Whatever man she ended up would get the same threat as Tagg because no one would hurt his Lunette and get away with it.  She deserved to be happy and until then he could only hope that he was helping to make her puppyhood happier than it had seemed when he first decided to take care of her. With her short uttered word he questioned her if something was wrong hoping that if it was she would share it. The cheerful note in her tone though soothing to his ears sounded as though it didn't belong and the smile was always a pleasure to see didn't quite convince the dark man.

He let his gaze linger on her a moment longer then necessary curious but he didn't ask, one day he hoped she would tell him but for now he settled, “Well, if you're sure but you know you can always talk to me Lunette. Whatever you have to say I want to hear.” As long as he encouraged her in the right situations he hoped that she would eventually see that she could be confident like she had been with the lynx.  He had been so proud of her that day for showing up and trying to do her part. He had yet to reprimand her for what she did to Moonshadow but he felt she'd had enough of that.  Her sister berating her In front of the rest of the pack had angered the dark male but there wasn't anything he could have done.  He could only hope that Lunette understood that and wasn't angry with him for not saving her from it.

For a second time he was recounting the events that had led him into the state he was currently in. He did not go into as much depth with Lunette as he had with Moonshadow which he expected was because he did feel that he might be starting to get a little better. Any way where Des was concerned, it was certainly much easier to talk to Lunette about it. Maybe not going into great detail helped or maybe it was Lunette herself, he did find her to be a good listener.  He also admitted to something that he hadn't told anyone, the anger he felt towards himself.  All the days spent in his makeshift den going over what had happened he had finally realized he shouldn't be angry with Des but himself.

His gaze moved to Lunette as she spoke her question, could he have found her, even more if he had nothing to go on.  “I don't know if I could have found her but whether I did or didn't I feel that the moment I realized she wasn't coming back I should have gone out looking.  At least then if I didn't find her I could have at least known that I tried.”   His gaze did not leave her as she spoke telling him she did not feel he should blame himself. “Why not?” He asked sounding like he was just as young or younger then the girl next to him, “If I didn't try then why shouldn't I?” Maybe she had a perspective that he hadn't seen in her young age maybe he couldn't think as she did.  Maybe for her things were simpler and he was just making it all too complicated.

(This post was last modified: Mar 01, 2017, 03:04 AM by Kajika.)

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