Blackberry Fields i'm like a jack of all trades

<i> I'm sorry if this is rusty. Trying to get back into her. <3 Only one other please, maybe someone who knows her. </i>

It had been six moon cycles since she had stood among these blackberries. She remembered the first time she had come across this area and the wolf that had stolen her heart away. There really was no excuse at this point, but the vague flashes of remembered dream still haunted her. It had been after her injury, with an infection settling in, that her father had come to her in her dreams. He did not yell at her, nor did he try to hurt her physically; instead, he simply told her that Ruiko did not truly love her and Kinis didn't need her friendship. The venom in his words hurt that any physical blow could, and after waking, she left.

The memory of Ruiko's breathing, the <span class='word'>stertor</span> in the dark, was the last sound she remembered of their shared den. The warmth of his fur against hers, the gentle rise and fall of Kinis's ribs as he slept; every little detail haunted her still, and had nearly driven her mad.

Standing once more in the presence of those heady blackberries, half-frozen now that winter was upon them, Ranger wondered how she had ever believed a fevered dream could speak the truth. She had traveled as fast and far as she could, away from Ruiko and her former family in the Aquila Clan. But by midsummer, she already missed her almost-husband and the boy she would have called brother. As much as she missed them, however, it had taken her much longer to return. She had not been taking care of herself and she had grown gaunt. Nearly skin and bones, Ranger required much more rest time on the return journey than she had leaving. Her mind was clear, however, and no trace of poisonous infection remained. She was healed, finally, and although thin, she was relatively healthy.

The pain and anguish that had settled in her chest since her departure did not allow her to seek out the Tainn men she had grown so fond of; instead, she returned to the fields where she had first met Ruiko, and sat on her thin haunches and wondered where things had gone wrong. She had not only left him once, when she was sick and nearly died, but twice; how could he ever forgive her?

Sighing and closing her eyes, Ranger simply breathed in the cool crisp air and prayed for some guidance, though she knew it would not come in the form of a body-less voice. She would have to make her own destiny, but not yet. Not yet.

<blockquote>There were some facts that you just came to accept, because no amount of wishing otherwise changes anything. Kinis knew that the loss of Ranger had affected his brother, though Ruiko was always so strong and stalwart. Neither of them had understood why, but as time passed, and she had remained gone, it was just another thing that you took in your stride.

Though Kinis had never mentioned it, nor even let himself dwell much on the fact, one of his biggest concerns regarding the future that he, Ruiko and Volkan had laid out was that of the hole that Ranger had left behind. What was a pack without a leading pair? The trio could form their own band, but Kinis doubted that Volkan was the mate which Ruiko desired. Without the potential for children, their group was no more than a ragtag pack with little purpose.

That was okay. Ruiko was enough of a leader for Kinis, and to have that freedom away from Swift River was plenty to appease Kinis in the short-term. There was plenty of time to fill that gap.

With the promise of change on the horizon, Kinis had been more restless than usual, wandering further from the den in his daily hunting trips. It was all he could do to busy himself, finding new and strange things to track, and he was throwing himself into it like never before. Alongside his quail and porcupine, he had only added the trophy of a turtle shell, for the rest of his finds had been too soft and easily decomposable. Today, he would have been happy with something more ordinary, but it was not to be so.

The scent which invaded Kinis' senses was, at first, ignored. So there was a female out here in the blackberry bushes; so what? They didn't have to disturb each other. But then he reminded himself that he was supposed to be recruiting for their pack, and that's when the recognition hit like a landslide. Turning sharply about, he dashed towards the trail, heart pounding with excitement.

No freaking way.

<font style='margin-left:20px;'><b>"I must be a better hunter than I thought,"</b> he said softly, gazing upon the unmistakable sight of <i>Ranger</i>. She looked weak and exhausted, but for the moment, that didn't matter; whatever was wrong was right now, in this instant. In their time together, Kinis had grown so fond of the female who had been destined to stand next to his brother, and though that vision had faded, that love and respect was easily remembered. <b>"I come out here looking for rabbits, but found something far better."</b></font></blockquote>

<center>
<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

As Ranger sat there, gaunt and gangly, she began to formulate a plan in her head. Before she could find Ruiko and Kinis to apologize and beg forgiveness, she would need to establish a permanent residence and, if possible, fatten herself up a bit. It would not do to simply barge into Swift River and demand to know where Ruiko was; she didn’t even know if Swift River still existed. Plus, what would she say to Ruiko and Kinis once she found them? She was sure that Ruiko had poisoned his entire family against her, painted her as she was a flighty Aquila woman (which she couldn’t really argue against at this moment), and generally degraded her among his kin.

She probably deserved all of that and more.

The long, quiet moments passed in peace, until the breeze changed direction and brought with it scents and sounds she had not heard in six months. The voice that greeted her ears was familiar but yet different, and caused her amber eyes to snap open. Turning her face toward the speaker, Ranger wondered if that was truly Kinis. He was taller, true, and generally bigger in every way, but he still had the same boyish look and bright amber eyes. There was no mistaking him here or anywhere.

<b>“Kinis,”</b> she breathed, her dark lips parting in a weak smile, though her eyes sparkled and shined with happiness. She was thin and weak, but no amount of weakness could make her less happy to see this particular Tainn. She stood from her spot in the field and took a hesitant step toward him, her eyes searching his healthy figure. His scent, too, carried traces of Swift River, Corinna, and Ruiko. At least she knew for certain that he was still here.

Taking another step toward him, she dipped her head and asked, <b>"How are you?"</b>

<blockquote>He could see the pause before the recognition, as though she registered it was him but almost didn't believe it. He had no real idea how much he had changed in the last six months, but as he watched her, he understood that it must have been fairly substantial. That thought alone brought with it a tickle of pride, but he was too busy being caught up in the moment to pay much attention.

<b>"Yes,"</b> he said as she uttered his name, happy to have her recognition confirmed, happy that he hadn't been forgotten. Neither he or Ruiko knew why she had gone, but Kinis had worried it was because she hadn't cared any more. To be discarded by someone he had been growing to love had been hard, but times had been difficult and he had had to move past it. To see her pleasure now was at least a hint that he may have been wrong.

She took two cautious steps forward, and that was enough encouragement for the boy; with a soft woof and his tail wagging, he eagerly closed the gap, planting light kisses on her chin. <b>"I'm well,"</b> he replied honestly, now letting himself acknowledge the poor state that Ranger herself was in. Pulling back, he regarded her thinness, and his concern was clear in his expression. <b>"You're... Ranger, let me hunt for you."</b></blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

The boy bounded forward and planted gentle kisses upon her chin and cheeks. It was clear to see that he had missed her; and oh, how she had missed him! Kinis and Ruiko had haunted her dreams for some time now, nearly the full amount of time she had been gone, and to see him here in the flesh was delightful. Her thinness went unnoticed only for a moment; when Kinis retreated from her, his eyes raked her emaciated frame and his brow furrowed in worry. It was then that he offered to hunt for her. While that was appreciated, she didn't want to inconvenience him.

<b>"I would love that, Kinis, but you don't have to, really. I can fend for myself."</b> Her heart was nearly complete now with Kinis here, but of course she was missing the other part, the half to her whole, that she had left to protect. In her fevered state, she had believed that her father would swoop down on her and kill everyone she loved while she watched, and then leave her to wallow in her own agony. However, she had no way of knowing that her father was truly dead, and that her visions were merely dreams brought on by fever and infection. Her <span class='word'>veriest</span> heart still needed another piece.

<b>"Tell me of yourself, Kin. I have missed many memories in my absence,"</b> she confessed, her eyes showing the sadness within. <b>"I smell Corinna upon your coat. Have you returned to Swift River?"</b>

<blockquote>She turned his offer down, not unexpectedly, but his brow still furrowed momentarily. It wasn't any trouble - he could easily hunt down something for the cache and something for her at the same time. Though he let it slide for now, he made a note to catch her something anyway. Her pride be damned - she could consider it a gift, for he had truly missed her.

But the sadness and regret soon flooded her eyes, and he visibly melted, heartbroken to see Ranger such a shadow of his memories. With a soft whine, he touched noses with her, seeking the connection again, for it felt so fragile. It had been so very long, so very long - and though a part of him worried that she would vanish again, the other part clung to her for that very reason.

<b>"Only temporarily,"</b> he admitted. He could not remember how much she would know - just when she had gone missing - but considering that he had not known much of Swift River since joining it, he guessed that she would have known just as little. <b>"Corinna and Indru had a litter. Indru went missing for a time, as well as most of the pack - Rui-"</b> His voice cracked, but only for a moment, as he abruptly regretted mentioning his brother. Irrational as it was, he suspected that it would only touch a nerve in Ranger (her name would have once struck a nerve in Ruiko, Kinis equally suspected) but it was too late now. Besides, it was the truth. He would not lie, would not tiptoe around her; she deserved more respect than that. <b>"...He joined Swift River again, to help Corinna, since she had kids and all. I followed later on. But the pack is doing okay again, so we're planning to leave soon."</b> Would she want to be a part of that plan again? Would Ruiko want to be associated with her again? Even if he did, Kinis doubted that Ruiko would easily regard her in the way that he once had; certainly the trust was gone, and with it, most likely, the affection. Ranger had not betrayed Kinis in the same way that she had betrayed Ruiko.

But this was <i>Ranger</i>. For a long time, it had been the three of them against the world. Carefully he watched her, wanting to ask the same question back - <i>what did we miss in your absence?</i> - but he could not bring himself to do it. If she wanted to talk about it, it was her own choice.</blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>

When Kinis stepped forward again and planted his nose against hers, she closed her eyes and relished the fact that he felt comfortable with her still. The whine he emitted broke her heart further; she wrapped a weak forelimb around his shoulder and pulled him even closer. Resting her chin across his shoulder blades, she wondered briefly how she could have ever left him. It was endearing when he hesitated over his brother's name, clearly not wanting to hurt her. Ranger pulled back from their embrace and studied him. Kinis spoke of Ruiko rejoining Swift River to help out his sister-in-law, while his brother was off doing who knows what. Ranger frowned then, clearly upset that Ruiko had to rejoin a pack that he did not belong to.

<b>"That's a shame,"</b> she admitted, turning her eyes toward the sky momentarily. When she looked back at him, she said, <b>"I hope when you leave, he can begin his own pack. That was his dearest wish, and I am sad that I was not here to help him live it."</b> Her gaze turned toward her own paws, weak and dirty as they were. As least her bedraggled look was not furthered by a <span class='word'>calvous</span> spot on her neck, where her wound had been clear and gaping at one point. Now it was healed over, with a soft layer of fur, barely noticeable now. With a sigh, she looked back into Kinis's eyes. <b>"Do you think he will be angry that I have returned? I don't want to cause him any more pain if I can help it, but I would love to see him again, if he is willing."</b>

<blockquote>As she spoke, Kinis' heart broke further. There was a finality to her words that rang true, a sense of opportunities passed. A sad frown crumpled his forehead, for he had been deliberately reluctant to discuss the very thing she was mentioning. It was his wish - is his wish - and that future was supposed to include her! It was always supposed to include her. Though he would want it otherwise, Kinis could not see that being the case any more, not any time soon.

He kept his mouth shut, though, listening as she continued, earnestly returning her gaze when she turned to look back at him. <b>"I wish I could say it was a good idea,"</b> he said quietly, his ears flicking back as his own words stung. <b>"Or that it wasn't a bad one, at least. But... he really hurt. And you know what he's like - that's a big deal for him. He's not... you know."</b> The most emotionally open of wolves. Capable and dependable and the ideal leader - but Kinis could see his brother's flaws, acknowledge them, even as he saw them to be few and minor. But this was, arguably, one of them.

Not that you could blame Ruiko for his anger; tempted as he was to sugar coat it, Ranger had abandoned them.

<b>"It's probably best... not to seek him out. I mean..."</b> He searched for the right words, unsure what to look for, unsure what the <i>wrong</i> thing was. Maybe it would be best for the pair to duke it out, get everything out in the open? Mother nature knew that Ruiko wasn't exactly the best at bearing his feelings, but perhaps a good old-fashioned argument would help. But would it help, or just make things worse? <b>"Sorry to be such a downer,"</b> he said then, smiling weakly, bumping noses with her once more. <b>"I just don't want you to get hurt. You look like you've been through a lot."</b> He held his breath for a moment, wondering if it was out of order for him to mention her absence - but then, didn't he have the right to ask? It was just as much her right to refuse to say anything. But his undying curiosity battled with his need to be polite, so once more he did not press the issue, and once more he let her take the conversation where she wanted.</blockquote>

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<i>at least... that's where I'm supposed to be...</i></center>