Grizzly Hollow 'Cause I have sailed a 1000 ships to you

'Cause I have sailed a 1000 ships to you, but my messages don't seem to make it through... From Rachel Platten's "1,000 Ships."  @Veho. Backdated to right after the pack meeting on March 24th(?). I'm assuming Veho leaves the den site? If I need to change this, let me know!

The meeting, almost as quickly as everyone had assembled and dispersed, had come and gone... and Veho made known the consequences that the pack would face in the wake of not just one upcoming litter, but three. In addition to his and Amaryllis' own brood, Oula and Pip were also going to bear cubs over the next few months. This was not Rook's main concern, however, and before he was going to let the Leader leave his sights, he chased after his superior. "Veho!" he barked, a whine slipping past his muzzle as he followed the ashen man through the evergreens and away from the pack den. "Veho, wait!"

Rook could feel the unbidden tears threatening to well up in his eyes. He knew he was being punished, undeniably scolded and chastised for his behavior; and, while he knew it had been his fault to assume, he had just one thing to say. This wasn't to say he wanted the last word on the matter, but he did hope that Veho would hear him out before they allowed time and distance to separate them. Whether the gray-pelted man stopped or not, Rook didn't mind, so long as his piece was said. Even if it was to the back of that pale head. "I wish you'd 'ave told me about leaving beforehand, but I understand that you're hurt." The words came out in pants, as though it had taken a great amount of effort to keep up from trudging about in the path already made before him.

His pace slowed and he sniffled once, his heart breaking in his chest, not from the scorn but his own doing. "If this sabbatical is what you need, I won't keep you from it. I won't beg you to stay, but I do want you to know that I am sorry for not seeking your counsel before everything happened the way it did... and, that, when you come back, I hope we can talk then."

(This post was last modified: Mar 29, 2017, 12:04 AM by Rook.)

He didn’t want to wait. He didn’t want to.

For months, months he’d been lingering around these trees, practically sprouting roots himself as he waited and waited and waited for Rook to return, and the return again. Oh, yes, the Lyall did seem different upon his second homecoming. He had built them a nice den and Veho was just starting to think that maybe, [/i]maybe[/i], the younger wolf really meant when he said he was going to change.

And oh, he changed alright.

“I wish you’d ‘ave told me--”

Veho did not hear the rest of whatever the beta had to say, blood roaring in his ears. The bulky male whirled, ears flattened against his crown. “I wish you would have told me,” he snarled, fire bursting to life behind moonlit eyes. “I had to hear from Oula, wielding the information like a weapon that Amaryllis was pregnant. We had spoken when you still stank of her – and you did not tell me then. No one in this pack tells me a damn thing.”

And that would have to change. But especially egregious was the female alpha and his own mate keeping secrets. Perhaps they intended to tell him eventually – but how long were they going to wait after Lily’s sent changed? He wasn’t stupid. “How many times are you going to be sorry, Rook? How many times must I forgive you?”

(This post was last modified: Apr 08, 2017, 01:24 AM by Veho.)

There is a moose carcass that has been scavenged by coyotes nearby. +15 Health

Veho seemed to counter him with ease. What embers Rook had prodded set off a blaze in every fiber of his partner's being. Rook tensed up, his limbs becoming like stone and throat tightening as the Leader laid out just exactly what had bothered him. Things about Oula, about him and Amaryllis, about the pack's current system of communication - it had all wounded him. Deeply. For once, their roles were reversed; and, Rook sorely wished it were the other way around. Wasn't it usually him that was figuratively that little injured bird with a bleeding heart and broken wings...hobbling back into Veho's embrace as if it were the only shelter he needed?

The Lyall's mask grew hard, those dual-colored eyes too solemn as he fought against his shivers before Veho's snarling maw. If it came to something more than jaw spar, more than a dominance display, then he was ready for it. Anything that would relieve Veho of his distress, Rook was ready to suffer for it. He stared into those colorless irises, his own lips pursed and his tail held aloft but wary.

“How many times are you going to be sorry, Rook? How many times must I forgive you?”

Rook swallowed. He supposed that maybe it was best if they got some talking out of the way before Veho took his leave. "No one ever said you had to forgive me," he grimaced with a slight shake of his head, the storm whipping about his sides and brushing back the unruly fur on either side of his face. It made the jagged light pink scar along his muzzle seem more prominent than it actually was.

"Until I get everything right," he bit back a dry sob. "Until I know for certain that you have my love. To me, it isn't forgiveness that I want. I just want you. Veho. You and your happiness."

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

“Do not be a child,” the alpha snarled, “being petty over semantics. Mateship does not work without forgiveness and trust.”

And, even with everything that had happened, everything that might happen in the future, he still wanted that. Mateship. He still wanted Rook as his closest friend and confident, his partner, the wolf who knew him soul-deep. As long as he wanted that, then he did have to forgive the man – because he wanted this to work. Why didn’t anyone see?

His tail lashed behind him and he bit the inside of his cheek so hard that it bled – but Rook would say his peace. Even now, with the maelstrom inside more violent than the one currently buffeting the pair of wolves, he knew to allow this. But that request? Want? Happiness?

“Then stop leaving me!” The shout warbled free before he could think any better of it – gone was the booming authority, his voice cracking over the hurt. Something wet and unforgiving prickled at the corners of his eyes. He was a simple wolf. He did not ask for much, not even monogamy. “Tell me. Tell me things. And for the sake of the Ancestors, Rook, stop leaving me to wonder if you’re ever coming back.” His voice broke this time, ears plastered against his skull as something wet fell down the sides of his face.

Stop leaving me in the dark.

Rook held his breath as he was chided. He took it on the chin, this part was not new; he had been through this particular limbo - or hell - before. He opened his mouth to say more, but Veho had something else to say. More hurt, more anger, more fire... If he had to burn, he would. To Rook, it was better to be razed to the ground and the sooner, the better. It would give him time to rebuild what he could in the time that Veho was away.

"It was an accident!" he barked back, the grip on his pride and collected facade dangerously slipping. His younger self might have tried to yell over his superior. He had learned by now that doing so did nothing but caused more harm than good. He let Veho go on in one continuous sentence, making clear that the Macieo had agonized over the times when Rook had been gone. The tears that welled in his partner's eyes and fell down those ivory cheeks tugged at Rook's heartstrings. If he could have closed that distance between them, he would have; but, with their bond stretched so thin and ties held on opposite ends, stiff and taut, he knew to be cautious. Veho required space and Rook knew not to ruin it all with his neediness.

"I wish you'd had more faith," his own ears drew back now, whiskered brows arching upward. "To know by now that I would have come back for you no matter what."  His head and tail lowered. "You could have asked me... about anything... and I would have told you. I would never lie to you." I couldn't. Ever. His eyes focused on that ashen muzzle, wondering what more admissions would make themselves known.

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

He wanted to scream. Howl and roar and scream until he didn’t have a voice left. At least he would be heard – or feel heard, at the very least. But that wasn’t entirely fair. Rook was listening, at least in the physical sense, and that was more than any other member of the pack had given him in recent months. But it wasn’t everything. For months, he had neglected his own heart, ignoring it until the rot had become so great it had started to spread throughout the rest of his body. Everything ached.

For perhaps only the second time in his life, Veho Macieo had no idea how to fix the illness running through him.

“You can’t come back if you’re dead,” he finally croaked. “You disappear and I do not know. The worst could happen and I do not know. I cannot leave the pack or the children because there is no one else.” And if something happened to Rook-- He would never know, instead left to wonder and wait, like a widow hoping her husband would come back from sea. “I do not want to be alone.”

“You can’t come back if you’re dead,” that was all it had taken for Rook to realize that the problem was much deeper than he had anticipated. Veho went on, making Rook wince and sniffle and whine. That black-tipped tail finally fell and those shoulders sagged as he dipped his muzzle downward. All that Veho had wanted was to not be alone... and, yet, there was the sabbatical to come between them. Rook had to think - and think hard. His mother Jaysyek or Trisden or aunt Aniu would have given him some knowledge about this stuff some time before and now was the time to put those empathetic skills to use.

Once mentally brought back to his center, he lifted his head and took a step closer to the vulnerable Leader. He would let the grey man have his distance, but Rook could only hope that his message was clear in more than just the verbal sense. "You won't be," he assured him. "When you return I shall be here."

The corners of his mouth twitched, his frail smile falling through. They would be together soon, he knew, but for now he had to fully let Veho go where he chose - to honor the agreement they had first made when they met. His tail gave a hopeful wag, even if his heart was in his throat. It would be one very long moon cycle while they were apart. "And, while you're away, you'll know where to find me then."

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.

We’ll see.

Rook could make all the promises he wanted. Until the alpha left and returned and found his mate still waiting here, he would withhold judgment. It would not be the first promise the man had broken, be it unintentionally or otherwise. His ears laid back as he huffed, ears laid back against his skull. For all that the beta’s behavior was subordinate, appeasing, some corner of his mind continued to whisper dark, hurtful things.

That it wouldn’t end. That it would be like the last year. That whatever they once had was lost, and no matter what Veho did, it would not come back. It was lost to him.

Like Oula. Like Oula and Joan and Felix. The family he wanted – ruined – lost.

Veho huffed and shook himself violently, a blanket of snow falling around his legs. He could not continue to linger here. He had to get his son ready for his adventure, and he had to... Well, get Ophelia ready. Make sure Nineva knew what to do and had what she needed. The time for emotional warfare on himself would be when he returned. “I will see you in one moon, Rook.”

Hopefully. For better or for worse.

“Until then, behave.”

@Veho~ your turn to wrap up the thread unless Veho has somethin' else to say. c:

As naive as Rook might have been once upon a time, the hope he felt in his chest at the idea of being reunited in one month's time dared to take root and bud. He would not let it blossom just yet; that was Father Time's call. When Veho came back from his time away, they would see once and for all how one felt about the other, how they felt about the both of them. Together, after the space between them had come and gone.

He put on a brave face. He would want him now, want him then, want him later, he was sure. All he had to do was wait and, upon Veho's request, behave. Rook gave his partner an obedient nod, eyes averting elsewhere into the snow. Yes, he would behave. Starting now. His eyebrows rose and he had to frown to keep the wince from overtaking the whole of his masked face. Logically, when put into the perspective of a lifetime, it was not a long time at all. Maybe compared to the hours in which one sleeps versus the hours spent awake. When Veho came back, Rook was going to prove that he was done with all his flighty antics. No more Sebastian Flyte woes being cast upon his Charles Ryder; no more Danny Holt chasing after the ghost of his beloved Alex Turner; and, perhaps, most definitely, no more Robert Frobisher running around and doing impulsive things just before his Rufus Sixsmith returns...

Nothing foolish.

With a bowed head, he waited for his superior to take his leave. Rook would take the complete opposite direction and leave him to this preparations.

(Fade.)

Chances are I have a BEN WHISHAW gif for that.