Sahalie's mouth only tightened—though she felt the urge to succumb to her childhood habit of lip-chewing—and her eyes arched a little at the "half-assing" comment, not sure what to make of it. Life had been full of family members coming and going and giving the whole "family thing" a half-hearted attempt at best. Her own father had moved across the mountain to raise a different family with a different women. Somehow it felt like all Tainns were inept in some sort of capacity, despite how desperately they clung to their legacy and the story of this land. But she would never have accused anyone else for half-assing it. Was this maybe because, after being disappointed and stood up so many times, she had just come to fill that hole and those standards with other responsibilities and wolves in life? If Draven had stayed in Fallen Tree Cove she wouldn't have thought more or less of him.
Nonetheless it was a sentiment she could respect, even if Draven seemed insulted by the idea that he could have just "half-assed" it. And her eyes narrow as he insinuated that she was on his case about being
happy. She had very clearly explain that what upset her was the fact that he had taken up some sort of grudge against her. Sahalie's tightly clamped mouth sprung open. But she would find out why soon enough—before she could even cut in to correct him, in fact.
If Draven didn't want her help, that was
fine, but if he thought she was dumb enough to think he was the
only one that needed help then perhaps it should have been Sahalie that was offended. In the split second before the bomb she forced herself to swallow the feeling. In her head she repeated that he didn't know her, and that he didn't know how she was and would work for the good and betterment of everyone else. Yes, the others needed help too and that was
why—
Of course he meant one wolf in particular—because he obviously didn't know any of the others—and her mouth opened a little wider, her head rose a little higher even if she was laughably shorter than him, hoping to receive even a second to state her case. She had always felt grateful, if not downright
guilty that Alastor had followed her north to south; childhood to adulthood; thick and thin—but.
Oh. That.
Her face looked like it would burst from shock as she stared back at those unsettling green eyes. Blind.
Fuck, yeah she had been blind. Through all the jokes about the boyfriend thing, all the stupid fights, her
demands and whining about Castel as he swallowed it and moved on. In her foggy recollection that remained of that rotten-apple night she couldn't remember if his face was crestfallen or blank or a grey soupy mess when she had
told him. Had he told Draven that? Word for word? She inhaled sharply. Even Larkspur had been shocked. She could understand Draven being upset...but.. Wildly her dark head thrashed to clear her head as her thoughts diverged into a thousand different streams.
He loved her.
Like
love loved her?
What else would Draven have meant?
And what about his suggestion to her? Would it just be
so easy—that easy—to take away his pain? Was love
easy? Was she supposed to just... Her chest creaked painfully. Just fall in love because it would make him happy? Fall in love because Draven wanted her to? But then how did Alastor feel... attaching himself to her in the most tragic and brutal way? She had to wonder how he did this to himself. Could he just...
stop? And she had to find out from
his brother. This man she didn't even
know and he was watching her like a hawk. Waiting for something. Dismayed, she stared back at him.
"
It's not that simple..." She didn't want to do this though—didn't want to be the bad guy. Draven would have to suffer through more stammering. "
I ... I... I don't want that. I'm not. I'm not ready," the pressure forced her words into a whine. "
H...he knows that. And I've. I know I've been selfish. I'm selfish. But he can find someone else. We're so young can't he just find someone else?" No one had ever told her that love was supposed to make her feel wonderful or whole. She didn't know it was supposed to light up her world or make sparks fly. Instead she only felt dreadfully afraid of all the mess and the wreckage left behind for innocent bystanders to clean up. "
There's other ways to be happy.." She whispered to herself.